JENNY BEGINS HER FIRST YOGA SESSION WITH THE PRISONERS Jenny stood in the modernised gym at Wormwood Scrubs prison ready for the first prisoners to arrive for Her first Yoga class that She had ever taught in England. She looked so muscular and so impressive ready to strike fear into Her pupils to teach them that She was the Boss the Instructor and Health Ranger whose every word had to be obeyed. She wore a skin tight shiny black lycra leotard that exposed Her huge breasts. She also wore tight leather gloves that were fingerless so that She could expose Her long razor sharp nails. At Her side She carried a long leather crop. This would be used by Her not only for protection but also to discipline any unruly or awkward pupils. She also carried a pair of steel handcuffs to restrain any pupil who wanted to escape from the Session or who tried to become unruly in the group. She was sure these prisoners would try something on as the last thing they wanted was a Yoga Session as She was sure they knew nothing about Yoga, hated any type of physical exercise and even more loathed being taught by a f------g woman. If things really became difficult in the session then She was quite prepared to use Her Gym Kata skills and was quite sure She was capable of beating any prisoner who caused trouble absolutely senseless. She had stayed the night before in the staff quarters of the prison having a small flat of Her own having just arrived the day before from Norseland Her home Nation.On the plane journey She had read all about the notorious prison. Wormwood Scrubs was known as a Category B British local prison (i.e. an establishment that receives prisoners from the courts, either on remand or after sentencing). It is situated on the south of Wormwood Scrubs in the London Borough of Hammersmith and Fulham. It was built in the 1880s, using prison labour. Until 1902, it housed both male and female prisoners. It currently has accommodation for 1239 prisoners in five wings. There have been numerous disturbances and protest acts in the prison's history. In 1979 there was a rooftop protest over visiting rights staged by IRA prisoners. In the rioting, 60 inmates and several prison officers were injured. In 1982, an inquiry into the rioting blamed much of the difficulties on failings in the prison management. The prison governor, John McCarthy, had quit before the rioting. He had described Wormwood Scrubs as a "penal dustbin" in a letter to The Times. In the 1990s, a police investigation into suggestions of staff brutality at the prison resulted in the suspension of 27 prison officers and the convictions of six for assault (three of whom later won appeals against their convictions). The Prison Service paid over £30 million in out-of- court settlements with ex-prisoners who had alleged brutality. At the same time, David Ramsbotham, Chief Inspector of Prisons, delivered a damning report on the conditions and regime in which he gave the prison 12 months to improve or face closure. Since then, the Prison Service has poured resources and relocated its most talented governors to tackle the prison's problems. She had woken up feeling quite nervous as She had never been out of Norseland in Her life and what was more all Her clients had come to Her wanting to learn Yoga not because they were being forced to learn it wheter they liked it or not like these prisoners .She realised that these prisoners would be very resentful towards Her and would refuse to co operate with Her at all costs.Still She was an expert Yoga Instructor haviong received a PhD in Yoga and Fitness from the University of Varense. Yoga itself had given Her such self confidence as well as enormousy increasing Her already great physical strength. Yoga had grown enormusly in Her Nation and was nearly surpassing Aerobics as the National sport. She had extensively studied Yoga and realised that it had conrtibuted so much to changing Her life as well as vastly improving Her health that had changed from being very good so much so that it could be described as excellent now.Her muscles and strength had grown now every year until She really was a magnificent sight! She was actually a practioiner of the physical side of Yoga called Hatha Yoga. Hatha Yoga also known as Hatha Vidya, is a particular system of Yoga instituted by Yogi Swatmarama, a sage of 15th century India, and compiler of the Hatha Yoga Pradipika. In this treatise Swatmarama introduces Hatha Yoga as 'a stairway to the heights of Raja Yoga', thus a preparatory stage of physical purification that renders the body fit for the practise of higher meditation. This practise is called 'shatkarma'. The word Hatha is a compound of the words Ha and Tha meaning sun and moon and refers to the principal nadis (energy channels) of the body that must be fully operational to attain a state of 'dhyana' or 'samadhi'. In other respects Hatha Yoga follows the same principles as the Raja Yoga including moral restraint yama and spiritual observances called 'niyama'. Hatha Yoga is what most people in the West associate with the word "Yoga" and is practiced for mental and physical health throughout the West. She looked once more at the details prisoners She had to teach Yoga too. What a repusive bunch they were too! She would be assigned a class of the six most dangerous and violent prisoners They were a group made up of two murderers, two rapists .one who was convicted of serious racial harassment of an Asian family and a dangerous paedophile and child molester. Her Mission was not just to lick them into shape by putting them all through the most gruelling exercise but also to punish them by putting them through the most agonising physical endurance She could think of. The time had come for the class to start .There was a knock on the door of the gym. The door opened as the group were led in by a prison warden. They really were a vile bunch She thought fat ,overweight, full of scars on therir faces.their expressions conveyed such resentment as if Yoga was the very last thing on earth that they wanted to do! They all looked as if they had never taken a day's exercise in their whole lives! God how would She cope with this bunch!! She was soon left all alone with all six of them.They looked at Her with a mixture of hate and resentment as if being taught Yoga by a woman especially a 'bleedin foreigner' was the last thing on Earth they wanted to do. She stood right in front flexing Her huge rippling muscles and exposing Her superior height to all of them. She wanted to assert Her authority from the very start. Underneath they were all really intimidated as being ctiminals they were really complete cowards. 'Right let's get started. My name is Jenny Bischaard and I come from a Nation you've probably never heard of called Norseland.I'm here to put you through a two hour Yoga Session at the end of which you will be aching all over.The Sessions will be going on until I decide you've had enough.' 'You all look in a terrrible state physically and it's My intention to whip you all into shape whatever it takes. Of course none of you will ever be as fit or as muscular as Me but you will look slighty better than you do now as you could not really look any worse!' 'We'll start with a few basic rules before the Session starts.' 'First of all you will all address Me as Ms Bischaard which you probably won't be able to pronounce.' 'Secondly you wll do exactly as I order you or you wll get this crop across your fat arses!' 'Thirdky you will only speak to Me when you are spoken to.'' We will stasrt with the basic asanas 'Asana is Sanskrit for "seat". The plural is used to describe Yoga postures; "seat" in this context refers not only to the physical position of the body, but to the position of the spirit in relation to divinity. This idea is often referred to as the "one seat", by yogis and Buddhists alike' 'Although "asana" originally referred to sitting meditation, its scope has evolved over centuries to cover a great variety of body postures. These postures have their roots in devotion and health, but ultimately all are intended to lead back to the possibility of sitting more comfortably in meditation.' 'You wiil now lie on your backs. We will start wit the 'Corpse Pose! 'GET ON THE FLOOR ON YOUR BACKS NOW!!!' Any comments to Norseland@hotmail.com