INGRID ADDRESSES HER STAFF BEFORE THE OPENING NIGHT By Hamlet Ingrid Rasmusson stood ready to greet her Associate Manager Hilda Nastisson and the four Bar Marshals at Votans Bar in Grantham. It was December 20th 6.30 PM 2019 the Christmas Opening Night at Votans the new Norselandic bar in Grantham England. The Marshals arrived, Helga Vichiousson and her Partner Lars Ruthqvist and Martha Kristiansdottir who would run the line Dancing and her Partner Erik Killdahl.All four of them were dressed in their Bar Marshal uniforms of shiny red leather with holsters around their waists with guns with live ammunition. Also present was Hilda Nastisson the Associate Manager. Finally present in her role was the Papian Kitchen and Toilet Manager Mina Popatoa her head bowed in suitable submission to her Manager and Mistress Ingrid. The four Norse Women coming from a matriarchal society and a Gynarchy were even bigger and more muscular than the Men. The Men were as gorgeous in appearance as the Women, the only difference being that the Men had enormous bulges in their crotches whereas the Women had huge bulges in their fronts revealing their gigantic mammaries for all the customers to see! Marriage had been abolished in Norseland a hundred years ago 'They were Partners only with no legal ties and lived separately with their children who also lived separately with the Women having the freedom to have sexual relations with as many Men as they wanted. Ingrid stood before all seven of them looking as imperious as ever. 'Right Bar Marshals welcome to Votans the first Norselandic bar ever to be opened in England. There will be many more now that Votans has taken over Wetherspoons and all the Wetherspoon pubs. This will be where you will be working from now on. Your work will involve supervising customers and serving them meals and drinks. You must understand that being a Bar Marshal is a skilled and noble profession!' 'Allt ii lagi oonsker velkommen til Votans den foorste Norselands bar noensinne som ble aapnet i England. Det vil v�re mange flere naa som Votans Bar overtatt Wetherspoons og alle Wetherspoon-puber. Det er her deren skal jobbe fra naa av. Arbeidet ditt vil inneb�re aa foore tilsyn med kunder og servere dem maaltider og drikke. Deren maa forstaa at det aa v�re Bar Marshal er et dyktig og edelt yrke !. 'Together with me and my Associate Manager Hilda you are in charge. You will be addressed as Sir and Madame always by the customers. You will ruthlessly enforce the Rules of the Bar. No nonsense will be tolerated! You are on Norselandic territory and the Law of our Nation applies here not British law.Norselandic law will be enforced ruthlessly by me and the Royal Overseas Judges.'' 'Sammen med meg og min assisterende sjef Hilda er deren ansvarlig. Deren bliren alltid adressert som Herra og Mevrouv av kundene. Deren vil naadeloost haandheve Regler for Baren. Ingen tull vil bli tolerert! Deren eren paa Norselandsk landsv�ddi, og loven om vaarr Nasjon gjelder her, ikke britisk lov. Norse lov vil bli haandhevet hensynsloost av meg og de Reginas Oversjooiske Dommernen. '' 'In particular you will not tolerate drunkenness at all and will only serve alcoholic drinks with food .You will maintain a tab for each customer and they may only consume four alcoholic drinks in one night and after that it is fruit juice only. Anyone caught drunk must be punished with your crops and reported to me or Hilda and we will strap them down and thrash them over the Whipping Block!' 'Spesielt taaler deren ikke oolvunn i det hele tatt, og serverer bare alkoholholdige drikker med mat. Deren vilen opprettholde en fane for hver kunde, og de kan bare konsumere fire alkoholholdige drikker i loopet av en natt, og etter det er det bare aavaxtasafi. Alle som blir drukket maa straffes med avlingene dine og rapporteres til meg eller Hilda, og vi vil stroppe dem ned og slaa dem over Piskeblokken! ' 'Like you I loathe dirt and mess of any kind.I I detest bad manners particularly eating with dirty hands or fingernails If you see anyone eating with dirty fingernails you will have my full permission to drag the miscreant to the washroom and forcefully cut their fingernails This applies to scruffy dress too in particular to jeans. If you see anyone wearing jeans you must rip them off throw the jeans into the incinerator and give them a good hard cropping in front of all the other customers!' "Som deg har jeg avsky smuss og rot av noe slag. Jeg avskyr daarlig v�remaate, spesielt aa spise med skitne hender eller negler. Hvis deren ser noen som spiser med skitne negler, vil deren ha min fulle tillatelse til aa dra feilen til vaskerommet og kraftig kutte neglene. Dette gjelder kluudderenr kjole ogsaa spesielt for gallabuxur, Hvis deren ser noen som har paa seg gallabuxur, maa deren riven dem av, kaste i gallabuxur, forbrenningsovnen og gi dem en god hard beskj�ring foran alle de andre kundene! 'In the washroom there's is the toilet slave Arnold. He comes under the direct supervision of Mina the Papian Sub Manager He was the manager of the Tollemache and he was absolutely bloody useless, His job is to spend the whole night cleaning the toilets'If you see him slacking for a second or if the toilets are not absolutely spotless you have my full permission to shove his face down the toilet and flush it with his face inside. His job is to work all the time or else!' 'Paa vaskerommet er det salernisbjoonn Arnold. Han kommer under direkte tilsyn av Mina, den papiske undersjefen. Han var framkv�mdastjoori for Tollemache og han var helt blodig ubrukelig. Jobben hans er aa tilbringe hele natten paa aa rense toalettene. Deren seren ham slappe et ooyeblikk eller ikke helt plettfritt, den haren min fulle tillatelse til aa skyve ansiktet hans ned paa salerni og skylle det med ansiktet paa innsiden. Strarfen hans er aa jobbe hele tiden ellers! ' 'There are four Papians working here Mina the Sub Manager a the kitchen and toilet supervisor the two chefs Teio and Toni and Teio's wife MahaThey are here to work and do as they are told They must not fraternise or speak with customers at all If you see them talking to a customer then you must crop them and the customer too.! Alsip if you see any of them slacking you will report them to Mina who will beat them mercilessly!' "Det er fire papiank som jobber her. Mina sub-sjef og kjookken- og toalettlederen, de to kokkene Teio og Toni og Teios kone Maha. De er her for aa starf og gjoore som de blir fortalt. De maa ikke br�ddralag eller snakke med kundene i det hele tatt. Hvis deren se dem snakke med en kunde saa maa deren beskj�re dem og kunden ogsaa.! Alsip ser deren noen av dem slakke, rapporterer deren dem til Mina som vil slaa dem naadeloost! ' 'There are also three English staff working here who used to work at the Tollemache Julie Karen and Rick.Like the PapIans they are here to worksheet will come under the direct supervision of Hilda assisted by Mina They are here to clean the tables and the floors Like the Papians they are never to fraternise with customers If you catch any f them slacking or talking you have my full permission to crop them and to report them immediately to Hilda who will also thrash them mercilessly' 'Det er ogsaa tre engelske ansatte som jobbet her som pleide aa starf paaTollemache Julie Karen og Rick. Som papirene de er her for aa regne, vil de komme under direkte tilsyn av Hilda assistert av Mina. De er her for aa rengjoore bordene og gulv Som papianerne, maa de aldri v�re interessert i kunder. Hvis deren fanger noen som slapper eller snakker, har deren min fulle tillatelse til aa beskj�re dem og straks rapportere dem til Hilda, som ogsaa vil knuse dem naadeloost.! 'I want customers to have a great time and enjoy themselves or else.What is more Martha as the Line Dancing Supervisor you will tell customers to participate or else you will bend them over and crop their arses! What is more if Norselander asks an English person to dance, they must accept there is no such word as no! 'Jeg vil at kunder skal ha det veldig bra og kose seg ellers. Hva er mer Martha som Liinudans Umsjoonarmadderenr du vil fortelle kundene om aa delta, ellers vil deren booyen dem og beskj�re r�va! Hva er mer hvis en Norse ber en engelsk manneskja om aa danse, de maa akseptere at det ikke er noe ord som nei! The Whipping Block is an essential feature and will be located in the centre of the bar The slightest infringement of the Rules will lead to the customer being put across rhea Whipping Block .Only I and Hilda can beat customers over the Whipping bBock and there is no limit to the number of strokes we can give ! Piskeblokken er en viktig funksjon og vil v�re lokalisert i midten av baren. Den minste brudd paa reglene vil foore til at kunden blir satt Piskeblokken Bare jeg og Hilda kan slaa kunder yfir Piskeblokken , og det er ingen begrense antall slag vi kan gi! I can see a long queue outside and we will open in 15 minutes for the most wonderful night in Grantham! Jeg kan se en lang koo utenfor, og vi vil aapne om femten miinuutter for den mest yndislegt noott i Grantham! Have a great night Marshals! Ha en flott noott-Marshalen! YES, CERTAINLY MS RASMUSSON! JA, SIKKER MS RASMUSSON! Any comments to norselandic@hotmail.com