THE JOURNEY TO NORSELAND 
by Hamlet
GERTHE THE SENIOR AIRLINE OFFICER


Lisa and Stephen walked out of the departure lounge at Stansted led by Senior
Airline Officer Gerthe. Next to her was her associate who had checked us in
Airline Officer Astrid. To her other side was a Papian stewardess Tania. They
later found out that as they were foreigners or oslanders they would have to
have their meals served by a Papian as it was against the Law for a
Norselander to wait or serve Papians and oslanders.

Still even though she was a Papian, Tania was still bigger and larger than any
other women in our group. She strutted along dressed in the Lufteflote uniform
of studded collar, leather bra and thigh length boots. She had gorgeous long
black silky hair. All 3 of them were Stewardesses or AOs (Airline Officers as
they were called) whose job was to have total power over passengers like
Stephen!

After they had all gone through the strict security that took almost half an
hour and with Stephen having all his shaving cream removed by security, the
passengers were all led onto the plane by the three Stewardesses or AOs as one
should now call them. Lisa and Stephen entered the Second Class of the
airplane.

Even though it was Second Class it was so comfortable better than First Class
on any other airline. The seats were really wide and spacious and stretched
back to form beds. They were totally unlike the cramped seats that Lisa was
used to on other airlines where she would sit cramped up with almost no leg
room. Further along in front of all the seats there was a TV screen with
access to the internet and a full range of films and Norselandic TV programmes
especially sporting programmes.

There was a large lounge area and dining room so the passengers did not have
to eat at their seats like other airlines. There were toilet facilities that
were spotless with full shower facilities. At the back was a Sanatorium where
passengers who were sick were given full medical attention and full body
massage if necessary. As expected, there were massive portraits of the Queen
Goddess all along the plane.

On the First Class it was even more luxurious. It was more like a luxury liner
or a former airship . Each passenger had their own cabin with a bed, sofa,
sauna television jacuzzi and personal washing and shower facilities. There was
an upstairs lounge and dining room that served the best cuisine possible. It
really was a flying Palace where the service provide by the AOs was excellent!

.

Gerthe stood before the passengers. .

She looked so big and stunning in her Lufteflote uniform of leather hat,
leather studded collar, leather bra a, short leather pants and thigh length
boots and high heels. By her side she carried a leather crop.

She addressed us in English and Papian as follows:

'Good morning passengers! My name is Senior Airline Officer Madame Gerthe. To
my right is my Associate AO Madame Astrid. To my left is Ms Tania another AO.
She is a Papian and will be serving you drinks and food as it is against our
Law for us Norselanders to serve foreigners and Papians !'

''Aeʻe kakahiaka! ʻO koʻu inoaʻo'Ālepa Luna Nui Mokuahi aʻo Nāʻelele
lele Matama Gerthe .Ma koʻu'ākauʻo kaʻu Kanaka No Aiha Matama Astrid .Ma
kuʻu lima hemaʻo Miss Tania kekahi No Aiaha. He Papianʻo ia, a e lauelaue
ana iāʻoe i mea inu a me nā meaʻai e kū'�" i ko mākou kānāuai no
mākou e Noselaniahi e lauelaue i nā malihini a me Papiani! ''Aeʻe
kakahiaka! ʻO koʻu inoaʻo'Ālepa Luna Nui Mokuahi aʻo Matama Gerthe .Ma
koʻu'ākauʻo kaʻu Kanaka No Aiaha Matama Astrid .Ma kuʻu lima hemaʻo Ms
Tania kekahi No Aiaha. He Papianʻo ia, a e lauelaue ana iāʻoe i mea inu a
me nā meaʻai e kū'�" i ko mākou kānāuai no mākou e Noselaniahi e
lauelaue i nā malihini a me Papiani!

Astrid was not quite as big as Gerthe but was really large and formidable none
the less. Tania was not nearly as large as her two Norse women Colleagues but
was still very big and was to be treated with respect even though she would
serve us. Looking at these 3three obviously full trained in Gym Kata and
self-defence. Lisa was not surprised there was no hijacking in Lufteflote or
any other Norselandic airline!

'You will do exactly as I say addressing me as Madame Gerthe, My associates as
Madame Astrid and Ms Tania. You will address us correctly as Miss or Matama
without fail or you will taste our crops!'

'E hanaʻoe e like me kaʻu'�lelo e kamaʻilio nei iaʻu e l me Matama Gerthe
koʻu mau hoa e like me Matama Astrid lāuaʻo Tania .Ue hoʻopuka pololeiʻoe
iā Ms a me Matamaʻaʻoleʻoe eʻono i kā mākou mau hua!'

As she said this she menacingly held her crop in front of her showing the full
length of it as a warning to all the passengers.

'That means when we say fasten seat belts or return to your seats you will do
so without hesitation! We are quite prepared to take you to the Sanatorium at
the back and thrash you there if you disobey us!'

"ʻO ia keʻano o ka'�lelo a mākou e hoʻopaʻa nei i nā kākoʻo o ka noho
aiʻole e hoʻi i kou mau noho e hana n�ʻoe me ka hopohopoʻole! Ua mākaukau
mākou e lawe iāʻoe i kahi Sanatohiumo i hope a hahau iāʻoe ma laila
ināʻoe e h�ʻole iā mākou! \"

'That means also you do not behave in a rude, aggressive or disrespectful way
or else! Also we will not tolerate any disrespectful talk about Our Nation
either!' she said moving the crop up and down her hands!

ʻO ia hoʻi,ʻaʻoleʻoe e hana ma kahiʻano palaualelo, h�ʻole a
h�ʻoleʻole paha. ʻAʻole mākou eʻae i kekahi'�lelo h�ʻoleʻole no ko
mākou lāhui.'

'Another thing is that on this plane you are subject to the Law of Our Nation.
That means scruffy dress will not be tolerated. After this we will walk along
the aisles and if we see trainers, jeans or tees shirts you will be ordered to
change at once!'

'Eia kekahi mea ma k�"ia mokulele e pili anaʻoe i ke kānāuai o ko kākou
lāhui. ʻO ia hoʻi,ʻaʻole eʻaeʻia ka loleʻaʻahu. Ma hope o k�"ia, e
hele mākou ma kahi o nā taaanii a ināʻike mākou i nā mea aʻo, nā
kāmeka a me nā kāleka, e kauohaʻiaʻoe e hoʻololi koke. '

'Also for health reasons smoking is absolutely banned as it is illegal in Our
Nation!'

'A no nā kumu kumu no ka ulanaʻana, ua pāpāʻia loaʻo ia e like me ke
kānāuaiʻole i ko kākou lāhui!'

'What's more you will only be allowed two alcoholic drinks!'

'He aha kāu e' ae hou i nā mea inuʻona 'elua?

'We hope you have an enjoyable time and that this will be amongst the best 22
hours of your life.Remember that you are travelling by the best airline in the
world Lufteflote renowned for its efficiency and service closely followed by
our rivals Norse Air (though they think they are the greatest airline in the
world!)

Makemake mākou e hoʻolālāʻoe i k�"ia manaua a i loko o nā hola he 22 o
kou ola. E hoʻomanaʻo e hele anaʻoe ma kaʻoihanaʻoihanaʻoihana maikaʻi
loa ma ka honuaʻo Lufteflote i kaulana no ka pono a me ka lauelaueʻana a me
ko Norse Air. Manaʻo lākouʻo lākou kaʻoihanaʻoihanaʻoi loa i ka honua!)

'Although we are here to supervise you we are also here to assist you and to
take care of you . If you have any problems at all or do not feel well please
press the buttons and we will come at once . If you have any medical problems
please press the buttons next to yoiur seats. You must understand that Matama
Astrid and I are medically qualified and we will take you to the Sanatorium
and give you expert medical attention there!'

'ʻOiai mākou maʻaneʻi e nānā iāʻoe aia mākou maʻaneʻi e k�kua
iāʻoe a mālama iāʻoe. Inā loaʻa iāʻoe kekahi mau pilikia a pau
aʻoluʻolu paha, e kaomi i nā pihi a e hele koke mai n� mākou. Inā loaʻa
iāʻoe kekahi pilikia lapaʻau, e kaomi i ke pihi ma kahi e pili ana i nā
noho kahu. Ponoʻoe e hoʻomaopopoʻo Matama Astrid aʻo uau ke kahuna
lapaʻau kūikauā a na mākou e laue iāʻoe i Sanatoiumo a hāʻaui iāʻoe
i kaʻoihana kauka ma laila!

'Have an enjoyable flight . Also get to know each other as you will be
together for 16 hours and you may want to meet again'

E holo maikaʻi. Eʻike pū kekahi i kekahi e like me kou manaua e noho pū ai
no nā hola he iuakāluakū a makemakeʻoe e hui hou.'

Lisa looked around and there were 10 passengers altogether 7 of whom were
Papians. There were 2 British a couple who were getting off in San Francisco
.There was one other person called Arun a British person who was travelling on
his own, a rather reclusive character.

'Before we take off Matama Astrid will do a Dress Code inspection!'

Astrid walked down the plane crop in hand carefully examining the clothes
everyone was wearing .Suddenly She came across the British couple.The man was
wearing trainers.

'I'm afraid those trainers are unacceptable as is that scruffy Barnsley United
tee shirt Don't you have any other shirts or shoes?'

'Well we're gerring out at San Francisco 'he drawled in his Yorkshire accent'
Anyway mah uther shoes are in the luggage in t' hold!'

She put her crop under his chin.

'Look here arsehole first of all you address me as Madame Astrid. as my
colleague Madame Gerthe has told you. Are you deaf? What's more you are on
Norselandic territory as she has explained. Now I will take you to the back
room where you can change those scruffy trainers and that filthy shirt!'

With that she dragged him up by the hair and threw him into the Sanatorium
where there were many different sizes of shoe and shirts .She ordered him to
change at once .She then threw his trainers and tee shirty into the
incinerator. She then dragged him back to the chair.

She then spoke to the other passengers while she held Jim by the neck beside
her.

' I have forcibly taken this miscreant into the Sanatorium where there are
many different sizes of shoes and shirts. I have ordered him to change at
once. I have thrown his trainers and shirt into the incinerator. I don't want
any more disobedience from any other passenger or you will spend the rest of
the flight in the Sanatorium in agony!'

'Ua laue ikaika uau i k�"ia heua i ka Sanatohiumo kahi i nui ai nā kāmaʻa.
Ua kauoha au iā ia e hoʻololi koke i ka manaua. Ua hoʻokuʻu wau i kona mau
luna a me kona hulu i loko o ka mea kuhi. ʻAʻole makemake au e h�ʻole hou
aku i kekahi mea'�" aʻe a iʻoleʻoe e hoʻolimalima i ke koena o ka lele i
loko o Sanatohiumo i kaʻeha!

Gerthe smiled relishing her and Astrid;s power, She shouted at the passengers
who sat in fear before her.

'RIGHT FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS! she yelled.

'NO KA HOPE HUI!'

Any comments please to norselandic@hotmail.com