Gemma the guardian
by Hamlet



I would like to tell you about my Guardian Gemma of the Bedersted Horda 13 in
Thisted Province. I am her charge or subject or aamne in Norselandic.

A Horda is a group of 20-30 persons the basic unit of Norselandic society that
all Citizens belong to by Law .Every male in the Horda is personally
supervised by a Guardian A Female as Under Norselandic law, every adult male
must have a female relative or any other person as his "Guardian' or Vaaktara
As a result, Human Rights Watch has described the legal position of
Norselandic men the aamne as like that of a minor, with little legal authority
over their own lives. Government authorities can force men as charges to
obtain the legal permission of a Vaaktara in order to travel, study, or
work.The Vaaktara is legally entitled to make a number of critical decisions
on a man's behalf and his Mother and Carer..

.

Since Norse Women like Gemma have a high degree of intelligence, we must start
by learning as much about them as we can. We must first examine Gemma's
physical prowess. As a Norse Woman One must and can not help but to notice Her
impressive chest dimensions . Of course varied they can be approximated to
just a bit under twice Her waist dimension. Her upper arms are capable of
rivaling most men's lower legs, and Her thighs I am sure are capable of
crushing an individuals head if the Norse Woman is not pleased with Her
present company! So you see my friends and fellow followers of the Norse
Woman, this is an adversary not to be taken lightly. Gemma as a Norse Woman
should be treated with the utmost respect for She has a high degree of
intelligence and are capable of defeating all chosen to die.

.

She's Gemma My guardian 5-5, 185 pounds, blonde hair, grey eyes. She's tough,
smart, confident and a deadly warrior like all NorseWomen in the Gynarchy of
Norseland.

She's expert with Her six foot steel broadsword BloodLust, and deadly with Her
small dagger Cat's Claw and Her large fighting knife Castrator. She carries
Her Castrator in a holster at Her right hip, and She keeps it very sharp. Why
does She call it Castrator? Norse Women have a great sense of humour. She
always carries the dagger; She's got some amazing places She hides it. She
wears a five metre long bullwhip round Her waist; the handle dangling from Her
hip was made from the bull's most precious part. No-one's ever seen Her use
it, but who can tell with a Norse Woman? She can use a spear, but prefers not
to.

Gemma likes to get close to the enemy when she's on holiday abroad , close
enough to smell the fear. She thinks war hammers and maces are for wimps.
Shields are for chicken-livered boys. She wouldn't touch a distance weapon
with a bargepole, and She knows how to use a bargepole. If you are an oslander
ever find yourself facing Her, your best bet is to surrender as fast as you
can, and hope She's in a good mood. Whatever happens, don't let Her get those
legs round you.

She loves to rides a white charger called Rudolf when she's on holiday beating
up oslanders. Rudolf is naked except for his saddle, saddlebags and the
scabbard for BloodLust. Roderick is very friendly, always hungry, and
eternally optimistic about the possibility of an apple. But in spite of Her
horse, Gemma isn't cavalry, She doesn't fight astride Her horse. Technically,
She's mounted infantry; the horse is for mobility to get to the battle
rapidly. Once there, Gemma fights on foot, as heavy infantry. She's very
knowledgeable about infantry tactics, and has a fair understanding of cavalry.

Gemma wears high heeled leather jackboots, with six inch spike heels. It makes
walking difficult, and , but She usually rides Roderick anyway. If you've ever
seen Her high kick, you'll understand why She likes spike heels. She can drive
that spike through chain mail, or even plate armour. She can't kick very high
(see anatomical differences), but then, She says you don't need to kick a man
very high up.

On Her head, She loves to wear a typical Viking horned helmet as a descendant
of the Vikings. She's perfectly well aware that Vikings didn't actually put
horns on Her helmets, but She thinks it suits Her. Between the heels and the
helmet, She amounts to six feet of femininity, but somehow She seems even
bigger. The pretty blue ribbon She wears in Her hair looks like silk, but it's
strong nylon, and makes a great garrotte.

She wears a long skirt, because Her thighs are too thick for trousers to look
good on Her. There's a slit all the way up each side of Her skirt, because She
got fed up with having to get it repaired each time She kicked someone. Also,
it means She doesn't have to ride side-saddle. She tries not to let Her legs
show through the side slits, but as She walks, you get glimpses of those huge
thighs. Are they really bigger than Her waist? Ask Her if you dare.

The bullwhip is wound five times round Her neat waist, then the handle hangs
by Her left hip. Cool belt, Gemma. Don't ask Her how big Her waist is, She's a
bit sensitive about that, but the belt flatters Her figure. Work it out. It's
that two inch thick layer of muscle that wraps round every Norse Woman's body
that makes Her waist so large. That's also the reason why you shouldn't try
hitting Her with your bare fist. If you know geometry, you now have two ways
to work out Her waist size. Don't ask Her for it, She won't answer you. If you
don't know how to do this calculation, you aren't someone She'd be interested
in. If you can't be bothered, then you aren't interested in her. Add fourteen
inches to get Her chest measurement, ten for Her hips.

She wears a soft leather zip-up jacket. Yes, She knows the Vikings didn't have
zips; they didn't have computers, either. But the soft leather moulds itself
to her upper body, protecting her like supple armour, yet leaving her adequate
freedom of movement. As your eyes travel upwards from her waist, you think of
grapefruit, and cherries. Large cherries, maybe even strawberries. Her waist
doesn't seem so big, now, by comparison. She likes to flaunt them. She says
they're adequate; everyone else says they're magnificent. Don't ask her for
her measurements unless you're her tailor.

You can't see her arms. Although the jacket has no sleeves, she's wearing a
silk blouse, and the sleeves hide her arms. But sometimes, as she moves, you
see the silk clinging to her skin, and you get the impression that you'd
rather not arm-wrestle with this Norse Woman. This impression is reinforced by
Her intimidating trick of crushing an apple to pulp in Her hand, not to
mention the walnuts.

When you realise what Her arms are like, your eyes slide down to Her legs
again. You can only speculate about what She might be hiding under that long
skirt, but you do know you wouldn't want to get between Her legs unless She
invited you, and you were quite sure that She was feeling friendly. She claims
She can crack a coconut. Walnuts, yes, but coconuts?

Her hair is dark blonde like all NorseWomen , and She changes it as often as
She changes Her men. Plaits, braid, bunches, coif, ponytail - whatever She
feels like. But She always wears a royal blue ribbon in Her hair.

Her taste in men is eclectic. Her job requires Her to seek out Heroes; big
powerful men Norse Men with huge muscles and gigantic fighting qualities. But
when She's off duty, She prefers smaller, helpless men, like me with soft
bodies, so She can protect them. She doesn't like stupid men, and especially
admires a sharp wit and high intelligence.

There's three good ways to handle a Norse Woman like Gemma. The first is total
and abject surrender. That usually works, but you then have to do whatever She
wants. The second way is to start crying. Norse Women can't bear to see a man
cry, so they start to comfort you, they can't help it. The third way is to
drop to your knees, and start to lick Her boots. That convinces Her that
you're not a threat, and She'll be gentle with you. Norse Women also like to
have Her belly rubbed gently, but you shouldn't do that without Her
permission. Stroking Her bare feet with your hands works well, too. But you
should always make sure that She permits you to.

Gemma has a very active sex life. She thinks about it constantly, and does it
very frequently, very forcefully and very skilfully. She prefers the man on
top, because She says it makes him feel like he's in control. Norse Women are
immune to sexually transmitted diseases, which is just as well. They achieve
that by using condoms.

Scientifically speaking, Norse Women are a different sub-species of Homo
Erectus. The best known sub-species are Homo Neanderthalis, and of course Homo
Sapiens.

All of these sub-species are fully human, and can interbreed, but rarely do.
The main differences between Sapiens and the Norse Womans, is the Norse
Woman's bigger bones (25% thicker, so 60% larger cross-section, and 60%
stronger). This tougHer skeletal structure supports an important difference,
the displaced tendons. Norse Womens' tendons attach to the bones twice as far
away from the joint as Sapiens, doubling the leverage that the muscles can
use. This alone would make a Norse Woman twice as strong as a Sapiens. The
larger bulk of her musculature multiplies this up by another factor of two.
The downside of this increased leverage is decreased movement range - a Norse
Woman can't move her arms and legs as flexibly or as fast as a Sapiens. So,
for example, a Norse Woman's high kick barely gets above her waist. That's
high enough, though. Also, I'm not as fast in movement as a Sapiens.

The larger bones mean that her face is broader and without the fine-boned
sub-structure of a Sapiens. They also add a lot to her weight, so that 185
pounds of Norse Woman isn't as much as it sounds.

The third main anatomical difference is that two inch thick layer of muscle
round the waist mentioned above; this continues above and below the waist,
tapering off gradually as you move down the legs and arms. The extra two
inches round the arms give a rather startling effect if she shows you her bare
arms - you can see the picture in the background. The visual effect of this is
of a very solid and sturdy-looking woman, yet totally feminine.

The Norse Women are among the innumerable lesser representatives of that basic
femininity, whose primary image is the Great Mother. But the Great Mother is
both the Good Mother and the Terrible Mother. She is a creator and a
destroyer; She is a force equally capable of transforming men so that they are
born again, and of seducing them so that they are symbolically devoured. Only
by running the gauntlet in some symbolic encounter with the Great Mother can
men get free of Her downward pull.

The Norse Womans show both sides of this ambivalent character. The negative
side of Her legend is seen in Her provoking men to war and slaughter, so that
they can batten like vampires on the blood of corpses...The positive side of
the Norse Woman's legend is seen in Her choosing Heroes slain bravely in
battle for a joyful after-life in Valhalla. In that they seem to symbolize the
transformation of character which may reward a sufficiently brave encounter
with the mother principle...Anglo-Saxon glossaries equate them with the Greek
Furies and other carriers of vengeance, conflict and madness. They are active
as witches; but equally active as protectors of men caught in storms at sea.
They habitually ride through thunder-clouds, but they also serve rapturously
as cup-bearers and wish-maidens...

Any comments to norselandic@hotmail.com