EPISODE ONE: MY FIRST MEETING WITH MADAME SUPASTAR by hamlet I realised I was becoming a hermit now that I was retired. I seemed to have lost interest in everything. I was no longer interested in seeing people at all or going out or leaving the house or making small talk that made out I was interested in anything but my misery and loneliness. Yet there was only one thing that brightened up my day. It was a huge Black Woman who seemed always to sit next or opposite me on my bus journey to the shops in the morning. I just could not help thinking about Her all the time. She would always sit next to me even if it meant ordering the person next to me to vacate their seat. In many ways Her appearance was so stunning that no one could miss her. She looked incredibly tall and strong Her physique. She had curly black and blonde hair that was probably a wig. I also noticed her high cheekbones that made her face look do large and formidable. She wore what looked like a bank uniform and I could tell by her scarf that she worked for NW Bank. She always wore a long shiny leather trench coat high-heeled boots and long leather gloves. I had a nickname for her Miss Worry as in many ways she was so scary in appearance and demeanour I was afraid to talk to her. One day She spoke to me for the first time and I was not sure how to respond. "Oh hello," she said pushing her massive body against mine and almost crushing mine. "I notice you are always staring at me. Why don't you try speaking to me? I know I am a big woman but I'm not that frightening!" All I could say as She approached me was, "Well it's just... er, I thought it rude to speak to strangers especially women!" "Absolute and total nonsense!" She said intimidating me completely with Her tall frame and power and strengthen of Her voice. "We're all strangers until we meet! How would you meet a woman at all? Of course you can speak to women especially Me, as I'm such a jolly friendly person! By the way you didn't tell Me your name." "Well, er... its Stephen." It was impossible to argue back with Her as She had such a forceful personality. "Lovely you meet you, Stephen. Anyway, I feel so happy having someone to talk to. Now we can meet on the train every evening. I want you to say 'Good morning Madame Supastar' and don't ignore Me, or I will be very cross! I go to work in the mornings and it's so dull traveling all on my own so we must travel together. When you're going from work I'm going to working. In my country it's very rude to ignore people and given My size and build you can't ignore Me, can you Stephen?" "No I can't, Madame Supastar. You are very big, if you don't mind me saying so." "I know I'm big -- bigger than almost everyone, and certainly much bigger than you! Also, My lovely new high-heeled boots that look really stunning, don't they Stephen?" She said, knowing I had no choice but to agree with Her always. "You also like my stunning shiny leather coat. I bet that gives you a turn-on, too! Do you like women in leather?" "Yes I do, Madame Supastar." I was now sweating, as her questioning was so intense. "Tell Me the truth Stephen. I bet you think of me all night long, don't you, while you're playing with yourself? Tell Me the truth, you can't sleep thinking about Me!" "I do think of You, Madame Supastar." "You're really sweating, Stephen! I know you are afraid of Me. Tell Me, what sort of work do you do?" "Well, I don't... er, work any more, but I used to work in the Tax Office, Madame Supastar" "That's lovely, Stephen. Perhaps I can visit you at work and you can fill out My tax return for Me!" "Well, er... Madame Supastar, that might be difficult as it's confidential and I don't deal with your tax affairs." I could feel Her losing Her temper. "Stephen, I said I want you to help Me fill in My tax return, so you will help Me, won't you?" "Yes, certainly Madame Supastar," I said not daring to argue with Her at all. "And what sort of work do you think I do?" I looked at the sheer size of Her as She towered over me. "Err... are you a Police Woman, Madame Supastar?" "No, I'm even tougher than that! Have another guess!" "Are you a security guard?" "That's quite right. I work as a security guard and a bouncer in the evenings, and I work at the NW Bank as a Manager during the day. I really enjoy beating people up; it gives Me such a thrill being victorious over My opponent and I've never lost a fight in My life. I love the sight of My opponent's blood and seeing them beg for mercy! Don't worry Stephen I'm not going to beat you up though I could do it easily with one hand you're so small compared to me!" "I know I am, Madame Supastar; you look far stronger than me" "I love fighting and bodybuilding, Stephen! At the gym, I love to display My wonderful, muscular, Black body that is far bigger than the men's bodies, as they are really just a bunch of weeds. You ought to come to the gym and see My muscles. You look as though you need it!" "I would love to, Madame Supastar." "Stephen, why don't you come to the pub where I work? It's in Holloway Road, and you can watch Me in action dealing with troublemakers. The pub used to be a really rough place, but ever since I worked there, no one even dares talk too loudly. I believe in absolute zero tolerance!" She moved up to me almost pinning me right against the wall. "Stephen, I think you have such a sweet face and lovely nature. I want you to be My partner and spend every day with Me. I think you are a lonely person and need someone like Me to take care of you like a Black Mother. I also want a relationship with a kind and sensitive person like you" "I would also like to fondle you now. I know it's a public place, but we're in sitting right next to each other and you can take down your trousers as I really want to feel you!" I hesitated at first but She moved against me looking really threatening. "STEPHEN, OPEN YOUR TROUSERS THIS MINUTE!!!"