Dawkins captured
by Hamlet



Sister Alison and Junior Sister Megan set out in the Nun Wagon on their Divine
Mission to capture the atheist Professor Richard Dawkins.They were to travel
from St Agatha's Convent in Eastry in Kent to New College in Oxford, where
Dawkins was a Professor. It was a glorious day and they could not wait to see
the lovely British countryside. They knew that they were on a Divine Mission
to eradicate the evils of atheism and secularism and that capturing Dawkins
and putting him on trial was part of Their Mission as Nuns and instruments of
God.

Both of them had just arrived from Norseland and only had read about Oxford a
city in central southern England. It was the county town of Oxfordshire, and
formed a district within the county. It had a population of 150,200, and lies
within the Oxford metropolitan area with a population of 244,000. Oxford was
one of the UK's fastest growing cities, in terms of population.

Oxford had a diverse economic base. Its industries included motor
manufacturing, education, publishing and a large number of information
technology and science-based businesses. The city was known worldwide as a
university town and home of the University of Oxford, the oldest university in
the country and the English-speaking world.

Buildings in Oxford demonstrated an example of every English architectural
period since the arrival of the Saxons, including the iconic, mid-18th-century
Radcliffe Camera. Oxford was known as the "city of dreaming spires", a term
coined by poet Matthew Arnold in reference to the harmonious architecture of
Oxford's university buildings.

New College was one of the constituent colleges of the University of Oxford.
The College currently ranked highly on the Norrington Table, a table assessing
the relative performance of Oxford's undergraduates by their performance in
final examinations. For 2011-2012 the college was ranked third, maintaining
its place from 2010 to 2011. The College stood along Holywell Street and New
College Lane (known for Oxford's Bridge of Sighs), next to All Souls College,
Manchester College, Hertford College, The Queen's College and St Edmund Hall.

The College was one of the main choral foundations of the University of
Oxford. The College Choir has recorded over one hundred albums, and has been
awarded two Awards. In 2012 the College had an estimated financial endowment
of ##144m.

The two Nuns wore long black shiny latex gowns that went right down to the
ground. Their blonde hair was completely covered in tight latex caps. They
wore masks on Their faces on Their Divine Mission to terrify Their victims so
that Their mouths were the only part of Their anatomy that was visible. Under
Their gowns they wore really tight black latex basques that showed off the
power of Their bodies and their muscles to terrify Their enemies. They also
wore thigh length leather and rubber boots with 6" heels and pointed steel
toes. Around Their waists as well as carrying a steel cross that was pointed
at the end and could in itself be used as a weapon.,They wore an armoury of
weapons a whip with steel thongs at the end knives leather chords and
knuckledusters. They also wore long shiny skintight latex gloves.

Sister Alison drove down Woodnesborough Road through Eastry onto the A257.Soon
they were on the A28 heading for London After a short time they were on the
M20 driving at full speed through the countryside, then the M25 and finally
the M40 heading straight towards Oxford desperate to catch their prey Dawkins
himself!

Meanwhile Dawkins released he was in danger of being kidnapped by the Warrior
Nuns and had taken precautions hiring one of the top security companies G2 to
give him all round protection. He had been accompanied to a lecture two huge
gorillas that were to give him all round protection 24 hours a day at
considerable cost to himself.

He stood in front of the students at New College trying to look so confident
he began his lecture on his favourite theme 'memes.'

'In the last chapter of "The Selfish Gene," I coined the word "meme" as a sort
of analogy of "gene." My purpose of this was to say that although I'd just
written a whole book about how the gene was the unit of natural selection, and
that evolution was changes in gene frequencies, the Darwinian process was
potentially wider than that.

'You could go to other planets in the universe and find life, and if you do
find life, then it will have evolved by some kind of evolutionary process,
probably Darwinian. And therefore there must be something equivalent to a
gene, although it may be very, very different from the DNA genes that we
know.'

It was just then that Alison and Megan walked in determined to arrest him and
stop this poisonous nonsense forever. Just as he began his next sentence

'I Wanted to drive that point home. And rather than speculate about life on
other planets, I thought maybe we could look at life on this planet and find
an analog of the gene staring us in the face right here. And that was the
meme.'

Alison stood up dressed in all Her latex magnificence.

This is absolute nonsense Dawkins! There is no such thing as a meme! There is
no definition of a meme, noone has ever seen a meme and you criticise religion
for being unscientific and yet you postulate something that has no scientific
validity at all'

'I am arresting you for blasphemy and scientific charlatanism. You do not have
to say anything. but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when
questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may
be given in evidence.'

Dawkins began to sweat in terror knowing that the moment he had dreaded had
arrived.

He shouted at the two gorillas.

THROW THOSE BITCHES OUT OF MY CLASS NOW!!

Any comments please to Norselandic@hotmail.com