THREE ZAMBIAN WOMEN IN NORSELAND
by Hamlet
PART THREE TROUBLE ON THE JOURNEY


The British Airways plane roared down the runway at Jomo Kenyatta Nairobi
Airport.

Grace Musonda could see the city of Nairobi that lay in the distance. The
local time was 4.30 PM The airport was located in the� Embakasi� suburb 18
kilometres (11� mi) southeast of Nairobi's central business district. The
airport served over 8 million passengers in 2018,� making it the seventh
busiest airport in passenger traffic in Africa.

Grace was exhausted as this was her first plane journey and the first time,
she had left Zambia. Yet her journey to Norseland had only just begun.

Officer Astrid Ulvaeus of the Royal Aid Corps had driven her that morning from
her home city of Kitwe in Zambia to Lusaka. She had just been on a two- and
half-hour plane journey from Lusaka with her friends and future flat mates the
Policewomen Julie Mubanga and Lois Kaloto,. who too would be travelling to
Norseland with her to study at Silkeborg University

Astrid would accompany her all the way to Silkeborg where she would be
studying Nursing and Healthcare at Silkeborg University.

Julie and Lois would be studying Law Enforcement with a view to becoming
honorary Norselandic Citizens and Black Scorpions, the elite group of Black
Women who worked with the Justice League and were dedicated to the total
eradication of crime throughout the world.

After a 2-hour transit Grace had to face a 11 1/2 hour flight to Gatwick in
England She was then due to travel from Gatwick to Stefansholm on a15-hour
flight with a two-hour stopover in Denver.

She was aching all over and being a BBW she was too large for the plane's seat
and felt she could break the seat altogether with her enormous weight,

Astrid spoke to her in Cinyanja which was not Grace's native language as she
was a Mubemba because it was the only African; language Astrid knew. It was
also partly because she spoke English with such a thick Norselandic accent
that the three Zambian women could hardly understand a word she said.

'Grace darling, I know you are exhausted and yet we have only just begun our
journey to my Nation, I can tell you are already so tired especially after our
journey from Kitwe to Lusaka this morning! '

'Wokondedwa ndikudziwa kuti watopa koma tangoyenda kumene kupita ku Dziko
Langa, ndikukuuza kuti watopa kale makamaka pambuyo paulendo wathu wochokera
ku Kitwe kupita ku Lusaka m'mawa uno!'

'As you know we arrive at Gatwick at 3.30 AM tomorrow morning After that you
and Julie and Lois are due to board a Norse Air flight at 9.30 AM the same
day.'

'Monga mukudziwa kuti tafika ku Gatwick nthawi ya 30:30 mawa m'mawa Pambuyo
pake iwe ndi Julie ndi Lois tikuyenera kukwera ndege ya Norse Air nthawi ya
sate AM AM tsiku lomwelo.'

'I think this will all be too much for you. I will contact my friend Judge
Bertha to book us a hotel at Gatwick tomorrow night and on a flight on
Wednesday the day after tomorrow,'

'Ndikuganiza kuti zonsezi zikhala zochulukirapo kwa inu. Ndilumikizana ndi
mnzanga Judge Bertha kuti atitumizire hotelo ku Gatwick mawa usiku ndikuuluka
Lachitatu tsiku lotsatira,'

'Oh, thank you so much Mother Astrid! I feel so drained and I know there are
26 hours of travelling to go. Also, you know how large I am and this seat is
too small for me and I feel I could break soon with my weight!'

'Ah, zikomo kwambiri Mayi Astrid! Ndikumva kuti ndatopa kwambiri ndipo
ndikudziwa kuti pali maola makumi awiri ndi zisanu ndi chimodzi oyenda kuti
mupite Inunso mukudziwa momwe ndakulira ndipo mpandowu ndi wocheperako kwa ine
ndipo ndikumva kuti nditha kuthyola posachedwa ndi kulemera kwanga!

'Don't worry Grace I know you are a Big Black Woman I will arrange for you to
travel on your own on the plane on a steel reinforced seat behind us as it's
clear you are far too large for that seat!'

'Osadandaula Grace ndikudziwa kuti ndiwe Mkazi Wamkazi Wankulu ndikupangira
kuti uziyenda wekha pa ndege pampando wokhazikika pazitsulo kumbuyo kwathu
chifukwa zikuwoneka kuti ndiwe wamkulu kwambiri pampando umenewo.'

'Thank you so much for that Mother Astrid you are such a wonderful Supervisor!

'Zikomo kwambiri chifukwa cha Amayi Astrid kuti ndinu Woyang'anira wabwino
chotere!'

Grace was so relieved to stand up again as the plane came to a halt, She and
Julie and Lois walked through passport control at Nairobi with Astrid holding
their passports. They all had coffee in the bar in the transit lounge and
carried on chatting together in Cibemba so happy to be in each other's company
again.

Astrid spoke to Judge Bertha Fjelstad on her mobile from the transit lounge
asking her to book a hotel for Tuesday night at Gatwick and a flight to
Stefansholm for Wednesday morning instead.

With customary clockwork Norselandic efficiency Bertha phoned back twenty
minutes later

'Astrid, I have booked all for you and the three Zambians at the Sofitel Hotel
at Gatwick for tomorrow night.'

'Astrid, jeg har bestilt alt for deg og de tre zambierne paa Sofitel Hotel paa
Gatwick for i morgen kveld.'

'I have also booked you all in the 11 AM flight leaving Gatwick on Wednesday
and arriving at Stefansholm at 6 PM local time exactly.

'I have also booked you on the train to Silkeborg from Stefansholm at 8 PM
that arrives there at 10.30 PM which means the Zambian Women will arrive at
their flat at exactly 11 pm on Wednesday 3rd June.'

'Jeg har ogsaa bestilt dere alle paa elleve am-flyavgang fra Gatwick paa
onsdag og ankommer Stefansholm klokka seks lokal tid.'

'Nooyaktig har jeg ogsaa bestilt dere paa toget til Silkeborg fra Stefansholm
klokka aatte som ankommer der klokka ti og tretti PM, som betyr
Zambiskekvinner vil ankomme leiligheten deres nooyaktig klokka elleve onsdag
tredje juni,'

'That's wonderful Bertha I will tell the Three Women They will be so relieved
they might even be able to look around London in the afternoon. I will see you
at the Arrivals lounge at Gatwick at 3.30 AM sharp tomorrow,'

'Det er yndislegt Bertha, jeg vil fortelle de Tre Kvinnene at de vil v�re saa
lettet at de til og med kan se seg om i London paa ettermiddagen. Jeg ser deg
i ankomsthallen i Gatwick klokka tre og tretti i morgen, ','

Grace felt so refreshed after enjoying a coffee at the transit lounge with its
wonderful view of Nairobi

She was now sitting on her own in the plane with a row to herself on a steel
reinforced chair.

The plane took off on the runway as darkness began to descend as the plane
flew right over the city of Nairobi and the Rift Valley below.in the direction
of South Sudan.

She looked behind her and could see an English couple shouting at each other.
He was a fat specimen with greasy hair.

She found out that his name was Jeff as he spoke really loudly. It was obvious
to everyone that he came from England and from Yorkshire too. He was dressed
in a shirt with a Huddersfield Town logo on it. He was wearing green shorts
and trainers that really showed him off his scrawny legs as appearing so
ridiculous in his dress sense to the rest of the passengers

.

The couple had just been on a two week safari holiday to Kenya that involved
touring round the Longonot and Aberdare game reserves.

The previous day Jeff has nearly been attacked by a leopard after falling off
drunk from the open land rover at Aberdare game reserve that lay 62 kms north
of Nairobi. Fortunately for him the leopard saw him as just a bag of bones and
walked away!

His partner whose name was Amy was actually quite attractive She had long
black hair that marked her out. She was quite small too a midget compared to
Astrid Grace and the two other Zambian Women. She was wearing a split skirt
that showed off her thin legs.

She was driving him crazy with her behaviour and he was now completely drunk
after having consumed 10 cans of beer that morning He was shouting in his
Yorkshire accent so every passenger could hear,

'This bludy cuntry Kenya! I carn't wait to ger back to Yorkshire where you can
drink

as many pahnts of Tetley as yer lahk! Ah don't want to drink any more of this
bludy Kenyan pisswater! '

He had a large bag next to him with 24 cans of Tusker the Kenyan beer.

'You're pissed you've been drinking since we left the hotel in Nairobi this
morning!'she told him in anger now incensed with his drunkenness.

She was getting really frustrated and annoyed by his ignorant behaviour that
became worse the more he had to drink

He opened another can of Tuskers but most of the contents went right over her
skirt.

'I carn't stand this bludy country Kenya ahm never going back again! The foods
bludy awful that ogali or whatever they bludy well call it tastes like mashed
potato. I couldn't stand oop after eating it! The women all looked lahk bludy
elephants and this beer's worse than piss. Yer carnt ger a pahnt of Tetleys
and you carnt ger a daicent cup of tea ' he shouted so everyone on the plane
could hear.

'I think thought the the scenery was gorgeous and those Kenyam Black men were
so attractive' she replied.

He was now beside himself with rage.

'Look 'ere if you say one more word about their bludy men or that bludy
cuntry, I'll throttle you! I just want to get back to 'Uddersfield and have a
pahnt of Tetleys and a daisant cup of tea! ' he said clenching his fists.

'Why don't you? If you lay one finger on me, I'll call the police! I'm sure
there must be police on this plane somewhere! .Their women, those she
elephants as you call them are actually really strong and could crush a wimp
like you to a pulp so come on why don't you hit me? '

Just as she was speaking, he helped himself to another Tusker and then
proceeded to vomit it all down the aisle Some of the vomit reached Grace's
expensive boots as she could smell the stench right beside her.

That was the last straw. Astrid and the Three Women had been listening to him
in absolute disgust and were determined to stop his behaviour, especially as
Julie and Lois were Policewomen and trainee Black Scorpions.

'The behaviour of this bastard is absolutely appalling Mother Astrid! Not only
is he shouting at the top of his voice he's a racist and a bigot I can't
listen to him anymore.' said Julie to Astrid who sat in the row next to her.

'Khalidwe la wapansi uyu ndizowopsa Mayi Astrid! Sikuti amangofuula mokweza
mawu ake kuti ndiosankhika ndipo sindingathe kumamumveranso!'

'Let's arrest him Julie I can't stand the prospect of listening to him for
another 11 hours all the way to England! Replied Astrid in disgust.

'Tiyeni timumange Julie sindingathe kuyembekeza kuti ndimumvere kwa maola ena
onse ku England!'

Astrid then strode over to him accompanied by Julie. He was shouting at the
stewardess, demanding a pint of Tetley's and a Yorkshire pudding and gravy for
the evening meal.

The poor stewardess was in tears almost after cleaning up his vomit from the
aisle floor and Grace's boot

'Don't worry sweetheart I am an Officer of the Norselandic Royal Aid Corps and
this is my colleague Julie a Policewoman from Zambia. We will arrest him for
disorderly and drunken behaviour. The passengers on this plane should not have
to put up with this nonsense anymore!'

She strode over to him standing right over him.

'Who the bludy 'ell are you?'I lahk your leathers luv!'

Astrid grabbed him by the collar in her leather-gloved hand.and immediately
handcuffed him.

At the same time Julie grabbed Amy by the hair as she began to scream in
terror petrified of this huge muscular Black Woman dressed in a tight leather
catsuit.Her screams could be heard right to the end of the plane.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Astrid continued to hold him by the neck until he could hardly breath.

'You are under arrest you bastard as is your girlfriend. Your behaviour is
appalling and you will spend the rest of the journey gagged, blindfolded and
handcuffed in the cabin at the back of the plane so that the passengers don't
have to endure you and your girlfriend any longer!'

'COME WITH US TROUBLEMAKERS!

Any comments to norselandic@hotmail.com

TO BE CONTINUED