ANNIKA FASGAARD MY NORSE GIRLFRIEND
by Hamlet



KRISTINA LARSSON HER FRIEND

It all started in the summer before I was going to university. I was staying
with my parents in Deal in Kent . Deal is a town in Kent, England, UK. It lies
on the English Channel eight miles north-east of Dover and eight miles south
of Ramsgate. It is a former fishing, mining and garrison town. Closely
associated with Deal are the villages of Kingsdown, Sholden and Walmer, the
latter being where Julius Caesar first arrived in Britain (according to the
best guess by historians).

Deal was named as a 'limb port' of the Cinque Ports in 1278. Due to its
position on the Downs, the town grew to become for a while the busiest port in
England; today it enjoys the reputation of being a quiet seaside resort, its
quaint streets and houses the only reminder of its history. In 1968, Middle
Street was the first Conservation Area in Kent to be designated and since that
time the boundary has been extended three times.

The coast of France is approximately twenty-five miles from the town, and is
visible on clear days.

Its finest building is the Tudor Deal Castle, commissioned by King Henry VIII
and designed with an attractive rose floor plan.

I worked there in my summer holidays in the Clarendon Hotel .I worked as a
waiter and also in the bar in the evenings. My parents had a second home
there. I would leave home early in the mornings to serve breakfast and lunch
while in the evenings I would work in the bar. In many ways it was an
exhausting job and I did not return until, the evenings. My parents would soon
be leaving as my father was a diplomat and would be taking up a new job in
Malawi at the British High Commission.

One morning I was laying the tables when I could see a large leather clad
woman about 7' tall addressing with short blonde hair addressing a group of
blonde children in the bar .She was speaking in a strange language that
sounded like Norwegian bur was actually Norselandic

'Good morning children welcome to Deal in England!'

'God morgen barn velkommen til avtale til Deal i England!

'Remember you are here to represent Norseland and you are bound by the laws of
Our Nation!'

'Husk at du er her for aa representere Norseland og du er bundet av lover i
vaart volk!'

'You must at at times be on your best behaviour or I punish you severely!'

'Ma du paa att ganger v�re paa din beste oppfoorsel eller jeg hjemsooke deg
alvorlig!'

'That means as you are in England you can drink alcohol but only two shandies
a day!'

'Det betyr at naar du er i England du kan drikke alkohol men bare to shandies
en dag!'

I'f I see the slightest misbehaviour you will feel My crop!'

'Hvis jeg ser den minste daaligt uppfoorande du vil foole min avling!'

'DO YOU UNDERSTAND CHILDREN?'

FORSTAR DU BARN ?

They all shouted out in unison with one voice

'YES CERTAINLY MS TOGHHAARD!!!'

'JA ABSOLUTT MS TOUGHAARD!!'

They all filed out together as if theu were all automatons obviously terrified
of Her.

I noticed two Norse Girls walk out together.They were both dressed in black
leather jackets leather shorts and calf length boots with long blonde hair.

'I am really looking forward to this holiday in England Annika!

'Jeg ser virkelig frem til dette ferie i England Annika!'

'Yes so am I Kristina especially as we are allowed to drink two shandies a
day.What freedom Kristina!'

'Ja sa er jeg Kristina som vi er tillatt aa drikke to shandies en dag.Hva
frihet Kristina!'

'I can't wait to meet an English boy Kristina .They look so small and sweet
compared to our Norse Boys.I really like that waiter over there!'

'Jeg gleder oss til aa moote et engelsk gutt.De ser sa liten og soot
sammenlignet med vaare Norse Pojken Jeg vil bare dekke som waiter over det!'

'Be careful Annika you know you cannot get pregnant by an oslander or you will
be sent to a detention centre!'

I'be forsiktig Annika du vet du ikke far gravide ved en oslander eller du vil
bli sendt til en faanglaagret !'

'We won't have full sex but I want to wank him , ride him and give him a good
screwing!'

Vi har ikke full sex men jeg vil wank ham , ri ham og gi ham en god aa skru!

'I want him to be my boy friend!'

'Jeg vil ha ham til aa v�re min gutt venn!'

I WANT TO DEBAUCH HIM TONIGHT!

JEG VIL UTSVAAVNING HAM I KVELD!!

Any comments to Norselandic@hotmail.com