ANNIKA THE NORSELANDIC GIRLFRIEND
by Hamlet



Stephen sat nervously at his parents' dining table in Deal in Kent. Annika sat
opposite him looking so overpowereing dressed in stunning black leather her
huge cleavage being visible to his father who sat opposite her. His father
could not take his eyes off her huge breasts, her long blonde hair and her
shiny black leather outfit which made her so much taller than either Stephen
or his parents.

Stephen imagined that this meal in which his mother had cooked her favourite
recipe of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, would be a repetition of the last
disastrous date a few months ago. His mother had never stopped talking,
especially about Yorkshire and Batley where she was born to this girl he had
asked out for a date and would not allow him to speak to her at all Whenever
he tried to speak his mother would look at him in the most disapproving way
and interrupt him. She would insist on talking to this girl about her
childhood in Yorkshire, whether she was interested or not, as well as all the
countries like India, Canada, the USA and Jamaica her and her husband had been
posted. She would constantly bring up all the most embarrassing moments from
Stephen's past such as the time in Madras in India when at the age of 3 he had
secretly drunk all the remains of the drinks at a cocktail party and had ended
up rolling on the floor blind drunk and violently sick.

Yet somehow this experience was different. Annika was totally unlike this
rather weak and submissive girl he has been on a date. In contrast she was so
big and tall in comparison. It was clear that she would be control at the
dinner table and would do most of the talking,

There was an almost deathly silence at the dinner table in which no one dared
to start the conversation and was waiting for the other person to speak first.
Perhaps his parents especially his father were just overawed by the sheer
physical size of Annika as they had never seen a woman of this size and build
in their whole lives.

Eventually his mother asked the first question as Stephen began to wrack his
brains for something to say to break the silence.

'Err Annika I'm not sure where Norseland is, is it somewhere near Norway?

'No certainly not Mrs D everyone confuses Norway with Norseland and I don't
understand how anyone could be so ignorant. I mean don't they teach geography
in this country? No Norseland my Nation is nowhere near Norway Its situated in
the Pacific Ocean about 50 miles north west of Hawaii.'

'Oh, I didn't know that, so whereabouts in Norseland do you come from?'

'I actually come from a city called Varense'

'But that's not the capital is it?' his father interjected

'No, the capital is Stefansholm . Varense is the third largest city. I thought
Mr D being educated and a diplomat you would know that'

It was quite clear Annika was going to take control of his parents this
evening as she had taken control of their son.

'So er Annika' his father said not able to take his eyes off her protruding
breasts

'What sort of a city is Varense?'

'Well it's actually a very big industrial city with a population of over 12
million which makes it quite as lot bigger than London.it is an industrial
city and I know it's almost the biggest manufacturing city in the world.The
city is different from the other cities in my Nation in that is very
cosmopolitan and there are many foreigners including Filipinos and Thais who
work in the factories and do menial work as well as over a million
Papians'living and working there. I come from as suburb called Tyringe and I
live with my mother. I really love it there. Our flat has a wonderful view
over the Gronskull Mountains that form the border between Norseland and
Papia.'

'So Annika who exastly are the Papians?'his mother asked by now in total
confusion.

'It looks Mrs D as if I'm going to have to give you both a history and a
geography lesson. They are the native population and are a Polynesian people
related to the Hawaiians.They are a simple submissive people and exist to
serve their Norselandic Masters and Mistresses.We have a Papian maid in the
block of flats where I live who does the cleaning and cooking called Fuiko She
is a lovely person and naturally very obedient and very docile.'

'So er Annika what sort of things do you like doing there?'

'I lead a very active social life too. Like all Norselanders I love sports. I
go to the gym every day for 2 hours after school and all day Saturday. I love
developing my huge muscles as do all Norse Women and really enjoy
bodybuilding. I do feel disgusted I am afraid at the sight of small English
women and do not understand how our gorgeous men can possibly be attracted to
small weak women or stick insects or floor mops as we call them. I cannot even
understand gorgeous Norse Men wanting to have sex with Papians and oslanders!'

'I also love swimming areobics and skiing in the Gronskull Mountains near . I
also love karate and have a yellow belt and will soon have a black belt.I love
fighting sports like Gym Kata and I am a Grade 2. God help anyone in England
who lays a finger on me!'

'So what sort of things do you like doing as well as sports?' said his father
as he continued to look down her cleavage

'I go out every weekend usually with my two school friends Kristina and Eva.
We go to the centre of Varense which is such a lively City with a wonderful
night life as Tyringe where I live is so completely quiet at night being a
suburb with one main street.'

'A typical evening out for us will be to meet up at the station in Tyringe on
a Friday evening We. will all be dressed the same in stunning outfits and all
wearing high heeled boots. We will also be wearing a lot of makeup mascara and
shiny lipstick We will make sure they all look really stunning for an evening
of Man Hunting. '

'With the My Nation's wonderful train service it only takes 15 minutes to
reach the city centre and the trains are so clean and safe and are the best in
the world and run all night long every 10 minutes. The fares are so cheap too.
It only costs 40 Norse Mark return (£2) to go 50 kilometres. our unit of
currency is the Norse Mark. It is divided into 100 penning. There are 20 to a
£ so one NM is about 5 p. There are about 13 to the US$.'

'When we arrive in the City we usually will go straight to the Thai or the
Philippine quarter and have a hearty meal usually ordering 6 dishes and wine.
We will go out then to a bar. Bars in my Nation are pristine clean with bare
floor boards and IKEA furniture. They resemble your All Bar One bars in
England. All the service is waiter only and we will be served by Bar Marshals
who wear a distinctive uniform of Stetsons and red leathger. Beer is served in
bottles not pints unlike in England.It is illegal to drink in my Nation
without eating and the penalties for drunkenness are very severe.drink four
units of a We are only allowed to drink four units of alcohol;l about 2 pints
of beer in one eveningWe usually order a bottle of wine for about 60 NM. We
will then look around the bar for men to pick up for the evening.'

'It is the normal practice for Women in Norseland to approach men first unlike
in your country. In fact, it is almost unknown for a man to start a
conversation with a Woman Also the usual practice is for the Woman always to
buy drinks for the man. Last time I was there we were in a bar called Rattans
Bar in the University Quarter.After we ordered smorgasbord each, which is a
large rye bread bap with layers of ham, salad and pickle and mustard, we found
2 men sitting together whose names we found out to be Kristof and Lars. We
went straight up to them and asked them if they would like dance with us to
spend the evening together with us. We bought them beers and began to be very
forward and friendly as Norse Women always are. We carried on buying them
drinks and only once in the whole evening did Kristof and Lars ever have to
buy a drink.'

'We spent the rest of the evening singing karaoke which is very popular in My
Nation especially in Varense where almost every bar does karaoke. We then
danced together to the music. I danced with Lars holding him tightly around
the waist while Kristna and eva danced together with Kristof finding him so
sweet and attractive.'

Stephen was beginning to become jealous as she mentioned all these Norse Men
but he did not realise that there was no such thing as fidelity in relations
with Norse Women and that it was quite common for a woman to be seeing six men
at a time, alothough she would not allow him to see other women at all.'

'So er Annika his mother interjected do you live in a flat or a house there?'
his mother intejected.

'I live in a flat with my mother it's a really lovely flat. Almost all our
people liove in flats especially as most of our population live alone or with
only one ot two children so we don't think it necessary to live in houses.We
have a wonderful view over the Groskull Mountains We have gorgeous tropical
flowers were and plants on our balconies.We also have a lovely canary called
Twiki who sings all day .long.'

'So, you only live with your mother. What's happened to your father? His
father asked

'I have not seen him for over a year though when we met, he was very friendly
to me. His name is Rolf and he has a partner called Valerie. My parents don't
see each other since I have been born. . In my Nation it is normal for a child
to live with either the father or the mother or sometimes the child is brought
up in a State Orphanage. We see ourselves as children of the Queen Goddess who
is our earthly Mother and we are Her children and Her subjects.'

'So you don't have families like we have in England?

No, we don't as we are such a different and unique and superior society. We do
not have such a thing as marriage at all that is because we are a matriarchal
society and we consider that marriage demeans a woman as in your country the
wife has to take the husband's surname which we consider ridiculous.instred we
have a system all children are the property of the state and the Queen Goddess
which is the name swe give to our Monarch,.'

'What is more we do not believe unlike in your country that children should be
the property of their parents just because they are capable of producing
children. A Social Officer who is responsible for the mother decides first of
all whether the mother is a fit mother for the children and she has to obtain
a state certificate to be able to have a child after her Social Officer has
decided that the home she lives in is suitable and that she is capable of
looking after the child.

The Social Officer may decide that the father is the most suitable patent in
which case the father has custody of the child even if mother has given birth.
The child is taken away off the father takes custody of the child. The Social
Officer mays decide that for whatever reason neither parents are suitable in
which case the child is sent to a State Orphanage.

The father looked appalled.

'It sounds just like Nazi Germany where retards and criminals were sterilised
and where children were the property of the Nazi state!'

'Well we agree with that, we are devoted believers in Eugenics whereby only
certain suitable people are able to have children. What is the difference
batten that and the RSPCA not allowing you to own a cat if your home is not
suitable and you have a criminal record? Why should it be worse for human
beings? Also, if you sterilised people in England like criminals and mental
defectives as our Warrior Nuns propose there would be far less crime which I
know is rampant in your country!

There was a death silence at the dinner table as Stephen's parents seemed to
have met tier match not knowing what to say.

Suddenly his mother intervened.

'So, Annika how did you and Stephen meet?

Any comments to norselandic@hotmail.com