WARNING: This story contains graphic violence, non-consensual sexual scenes, and sophomoric, low humor. It is intended for, and should only be read, by mature adults, over twenty-one years of age.
 
 

'Twas the day before Christmas, and there was trouble at the North Pole. A large consignment of toys was hi-jacked by two small, masked thieves. Some children might not get their Red Ryder BB guns with compass in the stock, this year. Santa immediately appealed to Yule Spirit the Superheroine Guardian of Christmas.

Flying at lightening speed across the frozen North, on her faithful reindeer Jingle Bell, the eagle-eyed heroine soon spotted her quarry.

"Of course! I should have known! It's two of those evil Blue Elves! Looks like Prunella and Pickelina!"  The heroine exclaimed.

Unfortunately for Yule Spirit, last year, their father the Elf King, gave Prunella and Pickelina a years worth of boxing and martial arts lessons for Christmas. The evil duo applied themselves to the lessons with gusto, and now eagerly put their new accomplishments to evil use.

Yule Spirit expected little or no resistance from the normally less than courageous sprites. Known mainly as sneak thieves and con artists, the wicked pair's newly acquired combat skills caught the brave heroine completely off guard. Overwhelming her with their fierce, unexpected attack, the exultant elves knocked the buxom, holiday crusader to the ground almost unconscious.

When the diabolical elves were done, poor Yule Spirit lay on the snowy ground, as thoroughly unconscious, as though snug in her bed, while visions of sugar plums danced in her head.

Prunella tore the Christmas superheroine's green tunic from her curvaceous body in one swift motion, as the giggling Pickelina looked on approvingly.

Yule Spirit woke with a cry of protest, as the icy north wind assaulted her delectably shapely, newly denuded body.

The villainous elves had many old scores to settle with Yule Spirit, who had foiled so many of their evil schemes on past Christmases.

Poor Yule Spirit's extremely well-turned, and quite ample, behind soon glowed a bright, rosy, Holiday hue, that burned her creamy flesh like chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

Learned scholars who study the Blue Elves, report the elvish females are much given to Sapphic indulgence, the more forceful the better.

As happens to so many of us in the modern day, the exigencies of business obligation cut short the elves holiday revels.

The wicked pair transported their snuffling, bound captive far from her polar home.

Approaching Old London Town, the elves wended their way deep into the Christmas bedecked metropolis. Finally, on an obscure, little traveled street of crumbling, old buildings, the blue clad kidnappers paused before a dingy sign reading:

"This the place?"

"Yep! This is where the old guy wants Yuly delivered!"

"We got 'er Mr. Scrooge, all gift wrapped nice and pretty fer ya!" The wicked twosome cackled, as they burst unceremoniously into the dusty, ramshackle counting house, much to the surprise of Chief Clerk Cratchit.

In short order, the evil duo proudly presented their captive to ancient Ebeneezer Scrooge, in exchange for a large bag of gold. No longer loath to part with his vast fortune, the reformed miser's ample purse now opened freely in pursuit of the charming joys of Christmas.

The elves, carrying their heavy bag of gold, left Old Scrooge to his simple holiday pleasure.

After one more stop for a final business transaction, the self-satisfied elves departed the festive City.

As the evil, elfin duo headed back to their northern forest home, they chortled in wicked glee.

"Hey, ya know Pruny, IT IS a Wonderful Life; I could get to like this Christmas thing! We made out like bandits!"

"Hah! That's 'cause we ARE bandits, Picks! But yer right; we really done super this year! Besides Scrooge's gold, we got a pretty penny for that sleigh o'toys, an' we only stole them to lure that dumb Yule Slut into our trap! That was the sauce on the plum pudding!"

"Yeah, and I been thinkin' we oughta stop off, an' pick up that flying reindeer of Yuly's! He must be worth somethin' too! Maybe the Air Force would be interested in buyin' him?"

"Ha! Yeah and more t'come! Somewhere, that old sod Scrooge, got himself a real kinky  hang-up for Christmas Spirits! He wants us t'get the Christmas Angel for him, next year!"

"SHE oughta be worth TWO bags o'gold!  Hee, hee!"

"Yep! Here's to Christmas and Old Scrooge!"

As was ever said of him, if any man knew how to keep Christmas, old Scrooge did!

And so, as Tiny Tim (Who, the unfortunate Yule Spirit soon discovered to her dismay, wasn't so 'tiny'.) would say: