Don't Mess With The Remote            
by GJ


Coming home from the gym,
you are all pumped up and your beautiful muscles are glistening with sweat. All
you  want to do is get cleaned up and turn on the tv and watch the mixed
boxing matches that will soon be on. Little did you  know that I have other
plans. Arriving, you entered the bathroom, to towel off,  waiting for me to 
tongue bath you  perfectly clean, Coming thru the door, checking my watch, I
see that I have time to watch my movie now. I get really excited.The movie is a
bootleg copy of the new Star Trek . I turn on the tv and dvd player  and wait
for the movie to begin. I know you  wouldn't like it...it's science fiction. I
just start getting into it, when you come into the living room, wrapped up in
just a towel. You  see me watching the movie. "Hi Lover, didn't hear you  come
in, but my mixed boxing program is on so please pass me the remote.Then you  can
tongue bathe these stinky, hairy pits,asshole, and feet. Also  spend lots of
time on my  legs and 20" biceps. I positively reak  with stink!"" I look at
you....you look so beautiful, so  hard, so full of sweat, but I know if I give
in this time...I will always have to give in. " Sorry, Honey but I want to  see
the movie, and I know sci-fi  is not your speed. Why don't you go shopping or
something!" Then I turn away and watch the Enterprise launch from the Star Fleet
Command  dock to  begin its adventure. Losing patience now, you raise your voice
and say, " Pass me the remote or there will  be blood spilled all over SPACE,
THIS SPACE!" with these(raising your fists in my face)."
             Laughing, I can't believe you  would ever try anything like
that...after all I am the man of the house....and you  have got to know
your place. "Forget it ...it is a lost cause...my jaw is like iron, nothing can
break it." I hear some explosions and turn back  to the movie. Really fuming
now, you  decide to put your fists where your mouth is. Coming over to  me, you
sit on my lap pinning my hands so they can't move. You decide to use my face as
your speedbag and you hit me back and forth with both steel  fists about
twenty-five times or so. Finally you stop  and see I am out( I was out after the
first punch). Getting off me,  you  grab the remote and turn  to your tv show. I
have not moved and the couch is a real mess now. So is my face. You let me lay
that way for 90  minutes( with  a drip pan underneath me..catching all  the
teeth, bone and facial blood that is flowing freely in huge
streams) until  after the final  bout, where a young female boxer has
just knocked out her bloody and broken male opponent, with a brutal uppercut.
You excitedly shout to the tv," Looks like we are both KNOCKOUTS Sister!"
           Dragging my unconscious body along the white carpet, to the bedroom,
you must remember to get the carpet cleaner to remove my bloody trail. Throwing
me on the bed, you lean over me and sexily say, "You wanted action...well you 
got it, Mister." Checking my jaw and missing teeth, you smile and say, "Looks
like that steel  jaw of yours is made out of glass. I shattered it with these,
Baby!"( Flexing your hard biceps and holding up your blood fists). Unfortunately
I couldn't hear her, so she began to awaken me with broad front and back slaps.
The bedspread was now dripping with my "jaw gore"( Hey dear readers I really
like that phrase).   It would be a long time until I came to, but I finally did
after fifteen  minutes. "Now lick my muscular body clean, Bitch. Make sure you
clean out my fifthy, pungent asshole really good, or I will  beat you into  a
coma." Holding up a mirror, you  show me your fist-work. My face looks like a
caved in pizza with extra tomato  sauce. I begin to  clean her ass first,
sucking out any gibblets lingering there. My whole tongue bath chore takes well
over an hour. Finally, she finishes me off on her huge bicep. I hear my face
crack  and bust apart in a flume of red. This time I am out for
hours. Finally, she  called 911 and waited for the medical help to arrive. The
best facial reconstructors spent eighteen hours putting me back together. I
would be a real mess for life.
One thing I learned:  Don't Mess With The Remote!