Garth The Thief
By GJ



I had arrived at Whitby Monastery in the hopes of making off with the numerous
pieces of gold I had heard were concealed there. My name is Garth The Thief.
My ploy was simple. I would conk myself on the head by running my trusted
steed, Pius, full gait until my head hit the rather large branches that
surrounded the Monastery. I knew that the nuns who resided there, would take
me in, and refresh my corporeality as well as my soul. Being thin and a rather
underdeveloped sort, I knew they would take pity on me.

And so it came to pass that I found myself within the hallowed walls of this
holy place. I woke up on a bed of hay, surrounded by several sisters of the
order. I was astounded to see their highly developed level of muscularity.
Each robust female had at least 24" arms, 36" quads and what appeared to be a
50" chest. I was in complete awe and could feel the stirring of my loins
begin. As I looked up, one nun named Hereswith( the widowed sister of St.
Hilda), gently lifted me up and began to undress me. Then she bathed me in
cold water and coarse soap, until I was completely clean. She attended to the
huge knot on my noggin, by pressing on it with a small stone. I could feel her
huge arms pressing, could see the ungodly mass of muscle that protruded, as a
result of that action.

It appeared that this perfect female specimen was having a tutorial with the
other sisters. I could hear her, "See Sisters, one must press firmly yet not
to tightly, for he is only a male, and a poor specimen at that. One must
control The Power, or it can cause severe harm to this puny man's seat of
thinking." As the other nuns bent and peered closer to this procedure, I could
smell their musk, for they had toiled in the fields( The extent of the
property was about 1 hide or 120 acres.) chopping wood, repairing fences and
even butchering the livestock, that provided sustenance to all who resided
within the walls of this hallowed place. It was then that I swooned and passed
out.

I awoke twelve hours later. My head was bandaged with some white cloth wound
tightly around. As I stood on shaky feet, I stumbled and fell on my knees,
further causing damage to my already ravaged body. Suddenly, I was lifted up
in the air by my former nurse. As she held me ten feet off the floor, with one
hand, she examined me further. "Little man, you must watch yourself or you
will surely crack open that noggin again. I cannot always be here to save you.
I must give the Brothers their lesson in self defence. Today, I will train
them in the art of fistic movements." Then she let me down from my great
height, and accented her statement with a demonstration. Hereswith pulled back
her huge fist and sent it into the wall of our enclosure. The wall, unable to
hold, broke apart as easily as the gossamer holding an angel's wing together.
Withdrawing her fist, she laughingly told me that she had planned on putting
in a window there anyway.

I asked if I might watch her class, as I had always found fist fighting to be
of interest to me. "You may watch, little man, but stay out of harm's way. If
my fist were to hit you, it would remove your head from your puny shoulders,
so beware." Soon I was sitting under a tree, watching eight Brothers of The
Order going through their paces. This was an advanced class and Hereswith
instructed the men to attack her. If she was defeated, they would pass and
move on to cudgel fighting next. The most robust Brother, named Varik, charged
first at this incredible woman. In an instant she was not in the same place
but had turned therefore avoiding his blow. She countered with a brutal
uppercut, sending this hapless male sailing at least 12 feet into the air. He
landed on the ground unmoving. Then others attacked or attempted to. Their
fate was the same. In no time, this fistic wonder had piled their unconscious,
bleeding bodies into a wagon. She then pulled all of them easily into the main
building to attend to their wounds. They were extensive and numerous. Bones
had been broken and needed to be reset. I decided it was time to search out
the booty I had come to purloin.

Walking with great stealth, I entered the main chapel. The sunlight shone
through the stained glass windows marking a very fixed point on the altar. I
approached and touched the burnished wood there. I was rewarded with a click
and a section moved away. As I felt around this secret chamber, my hand felt
bags of gold. Elated I began removing them one at a time. They were quite
heavy and as I said and I was rather weak.

After I had retrieved all the bags, numbering twenty-five in all, I turned to
find Pius, so that I might sneak away with my ill gotten gains. No such luck.
Blocking the door completely, was my nurse and boxing coach. "Lucky I had the
other sisters attend to the rather beat up and bloody brothers", she said
softly. "I see you have plans to make off with our gold, the gold we use to
help feed the poor. I am going to teach you a painful lesson. It will be one
you will never, ever forget. " Shaking now, I mumbled, "But,.... but ...I took
the gold for my sainted mother"...hoping she would take pity on me.

Walking slowly up to me, Hereswith looked me in the eye and said, "When your
lesson is at end, your mother will never recognize your visage again." Then
she pulled back that huge fist. I began to whimper, tears rolling down my
face..."No! NO!....Pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!. That is the last word I
ever uttered in my life. This incredible woman of power broke me into many
pieces. As I lay, looking like a slaughtered hog, I could hear this lady of
god praying for my soul. The last thing I heard was Amen!