Diana the Valkyrie: The Inside Scoop
by Tex Biceps

In an effort to press my mission of unveiling the veiled, my conviction to 
show the world DIANA THE VALKYRIE, I have upped "the ante". I found 
skullduggery alone was not enough to flush out my elusive prey, so I decided 
to sub-contract. "Outside expertise, that's what you need," I told myself. 
With this new goal in mind, I aimed for the top. I hired Geraldo Rivera!

For those who may be unfamiliar with Geraldo, let me enlighten you...(soil 
you?)...Mr. Rivera is the father of tabloid, trash TV. His "investigations" 
are lurid and confrontive. Geraldo Rivera doggedly hounds his 
subjects/victims until he titillates the audience, then humilates his 
unfortunate co-stars. The is the man for the job.

I wasn't surprised when Mr. Trash TV took my first offer. You see, I suspect 
Geraldo has a bit of schmoo in him. He often enjoyed the company of FBBs on 
his show and everytime his muscular guests appeared, Geraldo wore the 
silly-stupified-smile of a schmoo. So he pleged himself to our mission.

Diana, beware! Geraldo is coming. Though I have this recurring nightmare in 
which Geraldo opens the door to Diana's inner sanctum and finds nothing but a 
PC and a chocolate donut, I am confident that in no time at all, the 
incredible beauty of the Valkyrie will be known round the world!