Chatty Femmes Turn Violent
by Tex Biceps

Coffee Lounge, UK--As this reporter discussed in the May newsletter, The 
Coffee Lounge has joyously welcomed many new ladies recently. Schmoos galore 
are beating down the doors to talk, ogle, and flirt with the distaff 
customers of the Coffee Lounge. However, as in life, the joy of female 
fellowship is tempered with certain dangers...

Led by the Divine MizL, better half to Captain Corc and goat expert, the 
ladies of the Coffee Lounge have developed a method of dealing with overly 
enthusiatic schmoos...THE BONKING CLUB! This month MizL introduced the 
scourge of aggressive schmoos everywhere to the females who gather in the 
Coffee Lounge. After the goat goddess used her B-hammer successfully, her 
peers began pounding unsuspecting schmoos just like the schmoo-suffragette.

What started as a cause and effect defensive response, soon became something 
akin to a riot of chatting femmes. No longer did the schmoo-offended female 
require a reason to "bonk". Unsuspecting gentlemen-schmoos were ending up 
with cartoonesque lumps on their heads. Further, some of the rabid femmes 
were mistaking their BONKING CLUB for their battery-driven "Boinking" Clubs. 
This error produced a degree of pleasure but left the "offending" schmoo 
dissatisfyingly unscathed.

MizL, a hard but fair woman, saw the chaos she made and decided to create an 
international licensing organization for "Bonkettes". Now, women must pass 
muster before they can wield the instrument of schmoo-torture. However, some 
American distaff chatters believe they are guaranteed bonking rights by the 
Second Amendment to the Constitution. Will ladies be bonking ladies soon?

So curious schmoos, if you feel the urge to ask a woman personal questions, 
be careful. Look around the Coffee Lounge for big sticks in close proximity 
to the lady chatters and be aware of all available escape routes before you 
pose the wrong query!