Substitute Teacher
by Diana the Valkyrie

It's fun being a substitute teacher - you never know what you're
going to have to teach. And this particcular gig was perfect -
I was supposed to teach them about the parts of the human body,
and how they work together.

I stood behind the desk. There were a couple of dozen in this college
class, and they were staring at me. I stared back. I often get this
reaction - as a six foot tall, 200 pound bodybuilder, I get stared
at a lot. Of course, most men don't look higher than my breasts.

I'm not going to compromise. I was wearing a thin cotton summer
dress, no sleeves,low at the top, short at the thighs. It conforms
to the school's rules about modest dress, so they can't complain. But
it does mean that I'm putting on quite a show.

"Quiet there," I told them, and the muttering stopped. "We're going
to look at human anatomy, how the various parts work, and how it all
fits together. "Who would like to tell me what the most important
part is?"

And, of course, some clown in the class said "My cock!".

"Wrong," I told them. "Men can function pretty well without a cock,
there have been castrated eunuchs throughout history. If a man
commits rape in the Czech Republic, he can be surgically castrated
even today."

The clown looked sheepish. "Of course, we're not going to try that
experiment today." That brought a few giggles - from the women.

"Actually there are several parts that really are vital. The heart,
the lungs, the kidneys, the liver, and most of all, the brain,
although some people seem to get along fine with only a very small
brain." I was looking hard at the class clown.

"So, what is the biggest part of the body?" I was still staring
at the class clown, daring him. And one of the women said "Jimmy's
cock?" and everyone laughed. "It's the skin. Your skin defines your
inside from your outside, except that there are a number of openings,
such as the mouth and nose."

"And Jimmy's arse!" Jimmy was really getting the tease today.

"Some organs you can help improve, some you can't. Right now, you're
improving your brain, by learning things. You can improve your
lung function by breathing against resistance, you can improve your
cardiovascular system, heart and arteries, by taking exercise. That
exercise can just be walking fast, or you can use a stationary
bicycle."

"But most of all, you can develop your muscles. Like I have. Your
muscles are crucial for actually doing stuff. Without muscle,
you wouldn't even be able to lift a full kettle.

"Please miss," asked one of the women, "how much weight can you
lift?"

"That's not a simple question, because there are many different
lifts. For example, if you use your legs to lift, you can hoist
a lot more than if you do a forearm curl. But most people asking
that question, have in mind a lift from the floor to overhead, what
we call a "clean and jerk" and I can do 190 kilograms, that's 421
pounds. I'd guess that most of the guys in this room would struggle
with a quarter of that, and that none of them could come close to
half that."

"A small car weighs about 800 pounds. If you lift the side, you're
actually only lifting half of that because of the leverage. So,
yes, I can lift a small car, and roll it onto its roof."



You can read the full illustrated story at http://www.amysconquest.com