The Plough Girl squadron, part 1 
by Diana the Valkyrie


There is no minimum height to be a New York cop. There used to
be a minimum of 5 feet 7 inches, but that was then and now is
now. That's just as well, because at four feet eleven, I'm not
exactly lanky. People sometimes ask me "What's the weather like
down there?". And they call me "Big Bill", which is supposed to
be amusing. And when getting involved in a brawl I have obvious
disadvantages. But the law is the law, and I always wanted to be
a cop, and they had to accept me.

So they put me on parking enforcement. I trundled around in my golf
cart, putting tickets on offenders. And that is not exactly how I
had pictured the exciting life of a NYPD officer.

So when they offered me the chance to be the sergeant of the Plough
Girl Squadron, I accepted eagerly. Maybe I should have done some
research first.

It turns out that when Russia invaded Ukraine, a lot of people were
displaced, and some of them came to New York to start a new life. And
among those refugees, were a bunch of plough girls. "What's a plough
girl?" I often get asked, or "What's the Plough Girl Squadron?"

It started way back in the mists of history. Some of the villages of
the Ukraine had the famously fertile black earth, but were so poor,
they couldn't afford horses or oxen to pull a plough, and so the
tradition of the plough girl developed. A plough girl is trained
from infancy to be able to pull a plough. It's considered to be a
very important role, because without ploughing, you cant sow, can't
reap and in winter you'd starve. So there was a lot of competition
amongst the girls to be the village's plough girl, and the eventual
winner, at age 16, would be pulling a 600 pound plough, twelve
hours each day, seven days each week, for the next sixty years.

And as you can easily understand, that made them immensely strong. A
plough girl's legs were absolutely huge, because most of the work of
pulling a plough is done with the muscles of the legs. In between
a plough girl's thighs was one of the most dangerous places in
the world, unless you had an invitation, and she was being very
careful. But her arms were massive too, because at the start of the
day she carried that 600 pound plough from her hut to the field,
and at the end of the day, carried it back home.

Because of the prestige of the plough girls, they were also expected
to be the local justice system, administering suitable punishments
for misdemeanours and felonies, and because there were no jails
(the village could not afford to have people who didn't work), most
of the punishments were, shall we say, administered by hand. By the
hard, unforgiving hand of a plough girl whose colossal arm muscles
powered that hand to chastise the miscreant.

But the plough girl was also, for obvious reasons, the protector
of her village. So when the Russians invaded, those plough girls
put themselves in the front line of the fight. Many Russians died
between the mammoth thighs of a plough girl, more had their neck
broken and some were simply suffocated in the colossal chest of a
woman with no mercy.

But, in so many villages, the Russians prevailed by sheer numbers
and fire power. A plough is no match for artillery, a spade is no
match for a rifle. And so there were refugees. And some of those
refugees were plough girls.

Many of them went back to Ukraine to sabotage the Russian logistics,
their supply dumps and their air bases. But with their village
wrecked and the inhabitants dead or fled, when the war ended, they
had no role in Ukraine, and drifted back to New York, to make a
new life there.

And tried to join the police, because plough girls were used to being
the justice system, and were used to protect their community. Become
members of the NYPD. Which could not accept them, because they were
not US citizens.

But it was obvious to anyone who has seen a plough girl, that they
would be very valuable as cops, so we worked out a compromise. We
formed the Plough Girl Squadron. The weren't cops, they were
contractors. And I was to be the liaison between the PGS and
the NYPD.

The first time I met them was also the first time I'd seen a plough
girl.  And I just wanted to run and hide. There were four of them,
Anastasia, Ludmilla, Olga and Tatiana. Ludmilla was the shortest,
Anastasia the tallest.

Read the rest of the story on https://www.amysconquest.com