Respect all, fear nun - part four
By Diana the Valkyrie
A deal with the devil



Defunding, hygiene closure and the Westingfield Baptist Church;
we'd survived them all. Troubles come in threes, and we'd had our
three, so I was completely surprised when the fourth came along.
And it was a doozy.

It was after compline, and I was tucked up in my little bed. I blew
out my candle and closed my eyes. There was a flash of lightning,
a smell of sulphur (actually hydrogen sulphide, I'm a bit of a
pedant) and a naked man stood by my bed, a man with two horns and
a pitchfork. "Hi, I'm Satan," he said, "but you can call me Toby."

Every nun knows what you do in this situation - you pray. "Lord,
I seek refuge from Satan and all his works." I repeated that three
times; Toby waited patiently until I'd finished. "If that worked, I
wouldn't be here now," he pointed out. I could see the logic of that.

"What do you want?" I asked. He looked at his fingernails. "Your
immortal soul, of course. Don't they teach you anything at nun
school?" "No, you can't have it," I retorted. "I have an enticing
offer for you," said Toby. "I don't care, you're not getting it,"
and I repeated my prayer another three times. He should have vanished
in a puff of malodorous smoke, but nothing happened.

Toby smirked. "So here's the offer," he said. "It's either you, or
three of your orphans." "They know better than to do a deal with
the devil."  "I will offer then an Xbox," he said, "each." and
I knew immediately that at least some of the kids would forget
all the warnings, and do the trade.  "Let me think about it,"
I said. "You have one week," said Toby, and then he vanished in a
puff of malodorous orange smoke.

Next day, after breakfast, I told Mandy and Nora about this. They
weren't surprised. "What a nightmare! Satan is devious; wicked and
cunning," said Mandy. "I know, Mands," but what do I do?" "Talk to
the Mother Superior," suggested Nora.  Good idea. If I hadn't been
in a total funk, I'd have thought of that myself.

I hurried to the mother house, and talked with the Mother
Superior. "This is serious," she said, "it's everything that we
have nightmares about!" "I know," I said. "Did you recite the refuge
prayer?" "Yes." "Three times?"  "Yes. Actually, I did it twice. It
didn't work." "But prayer always works, it says so. Matthew 21:22
And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith."

"Maybe my faith isn't strong enough," I wondered. "Maybe," said the
Mother Superior. She rummaged in her desk drawer, and handed me a
piece of paper. "Here's some faith-strengthening exercises. We use
lifting weights to strengthen our muscles, these exercises will
strengthen your faith." "Thank you, Mother Nancy, I'll get into
these right away."

I took the list back to the orphanage, and showed it to Mandy
and Nora.  "We'll do these exercises alongside you." "Thanks for
your support," I said, gratefully.

I looked at the first item. "Believe one impossible thing before
breakfast."  Mandy and Nora exchanged glances. "But how ...?" "That's
the whole point," I said. "It's easy to believe that a table is
made of wood, but to exercise your faith, you need to believe
that it's made of paper. Or something similarly impossible." "Like
what?" "OK," I said, taking a deep breath, tomorrow, I'm going to
believe that I can fly." "That's imposs ..." and I interrupted with,
"That's the whole point."

That evening, after vespers, I started practising. I sat down,
closed my eyes, and tried really hard to believe that I could
fly. It didn't work, so I tried again. Like exercises with weights,
you have to do repetitions.  I spent the whole evening, and the early
part of the night, convincing myself that I could fly, and the only
reason that I hadn't up till now, was that I had insufficient faith.

That night, I even dreamed that I was flying, and if that isn't a
sign then I don't know what is. By the morning, I was convinced. And
before breakfast, I got Mandy and Nora as witnesses, climbed up on
a chair, and flew.

Straight down. Onto the floor - thump. Mandy helped me to stand up,
and said sarcastically, "that worked well, didn't it."

"Actually, yes. It did work. The only reason that I stood on that
chair and jumped, was because I believed that I'd be able to fly. OK,
I was mistaken - but at the time, I really believed it."

"Maybe you should start off with something easier," said Nora,
"like weight training, you don't go to 800 pounds on day one,
you work up to it gradually."

Read the rest of the story on https://www.amysconquest.com