Barfight
By Dreadnaught
A woman fights John and Gord

     This was one of those nights I'll always remember. I was in
the old bar with my usual drinking buddies, John and Gord. We'd
been going out to this place for a while. It was a fairly big bar,
and it had one corner given over to four pool tables, set up neatly
in a square, and the owners were decent enough to make sure you had
enough room in between the tables to make proper shots, and that
the tables weren't too close to the walls or anything. I remember
it was a decent bar too. The crowd wasn't too sleazy or rough. I'd
never seen a fight in this place either, at least not before this
particular night..
     That night I was driving, so John and Gord were the designated
drinkers. It was pretty obvious they were going to make sure they
weren't missing out on this duty, either. They'd been putting beer
away all night. Not that they had no tolerance for the stuff; John
was 6' 1", 190 pounds, in decent shape, and Gord was even bigger
although a bit shorter, being 5' 9" and 195. They'd run up a pretty
huge bar bill and it showed. Their pool playing was getting even
worse than it was before, their ogling of the girl practicing at
the next table became even more lewd and suggestive.
     I'd been admiring her myself. She was incredible, and I'd
never seen anyone in here like her before. She was easily six feet
with the long spiked heel boots she wore. The boots clung to her
shapely legs up past her knees, the dull dark leather contrasting
with the bit of skin between the boots and her black spandex
shorts. These were topped by a clingy white t-shirt and a leather
jacket. Longish dark blonde hair and deep blue eyes finished the
picture off. She was definitely a looker and her clothes were
getting her more than her fair share of looks. The main problem was
it was also getting her a lot more than just looks from my two
drunken buddies. Her face wound up bearing a look of constant
annoyance once John and Gord started making comments about her.
     I'd gone off to the bar to get some more beer, the bartender
rather reluctantly obliging. He'd gone off to fill another pitcher,
so I turned to watch John and Gord.. and to my horror Gord had
leaned over the girl as she made her shot and rather giddily
grabbed her ass. John stood watching and laughed. I cringed. At
that point I fully expected her to get the bartender to call the
cops. I didn't expect what happened next. I jogged back to the
table to see if I could help sort things out.
     Instead of crying out, she simply slowly stood, and Gord
wobbled back a step, releasing the hold he had on her gorgeous buns
as she slowly turned. He blurted out, "Hey babe. Hazzit goin'," as
he and John giggled and wobbled unsteadily.
     She took a few steps around the table, until she had me on one
side of her and John and Gord on the other. Her contempt was
obvious as she looked the three of us over. "You know," she said,
her voice deep and breathy, "I get hit on a lot in bars."
     John seemed to find that amusing. "Shit happens, babe.. you
wanna do something about it?" The two drunks chuckled madly.
     She turned to face him as he approached her. "Yeah, I am gonna
do something about it. I'm gonna beat the crap out of you."
     This sent John and Gord into fits of hysterical laughter, and
even I started to laugh at that. This one girl was going to beat up
three full-grown men? She did look very fit, but I figured no woman
was that fit. Still, not wanting to cause any more trouble than had
already been done, I tried to step in. "Look, Miss, my friends and
I don't mean any harm.." I started.
     She turned and regarded me coldly. "Are you babysitting these
two shitheads?" she asked humorlessly. John objected to that. "Hey,
watch your mouth, bitch," he slurred angrily at her.
     He didn't get anything else out. Without warning, she spun
back and punched John solidly in the jaw with her left. The loud
crack of her fist connecting with his face surprised me, as did
seeing John stagger back, tumbling over the corner of the pool
table to the ground.
     I stepped forward, objecting loudly. "Hey, what the.." Big
mistake. She turned towards me, an evil look passing through her
eyes. "You I'll save for last," she smirked. With that, she leaned
onto the pool table and both her feet left the floor, one kicking
out straight to the side at me. The sole of her boot thudded into
the center of my chest. I grunted as her kick sent me down to the
ground, skidding backwards across the floor on the seat of my
pants. Holy shit, I thought, she's not screwing around. That kick
was hard. I stayed where I was for the moment, as she turned to
face Gord.
     Gord too had been stunned as he watched this sexy woman attack
John and I, but his drunken mind quickly clued in that now she'd be
coming at him. He brought up his cue, swinging it at her head as
she approached him. He was too slow though, and she ducked down and
let it swoosh over her head. He tried a second swing now, going low
and aiming at her legs to try and sweep them out from under her.
However, he was too slow again, and she lithely brought her legs up
and hopped over the swinging cue. Next thing Gord knew, she had
brought one leg up and back down, stomping the cue violently from
his grasp. "That was pretty pathetic," she commented, quickly
bringing her open hand up, pulling it back, then driving it
forward. Thwack! She powered the base of her palm into Gord's face.
He yelped and staggered back, but she mercilessly closed in. In the
blink of an eye I watched her bring her left leg up and around in
an arc, her foot slamming into his temple. As she finished the arc
and brought her leg down, Gord spun around and almost flew into the
wall, sending cues flying as he crashed into them and collapsed to
the floor. He wasn't out, but her kick had obviously knocked a lot
out of him and he wasn't getting back up in any hurry. I was still
stunned. I looked over to the bartender to see if he'd intervene
and stop this bizarre spectacle but he seemed to be enjoying the
show himself. I turned back to watch.
     John had regained his feet, and the woman closed in on him
once more as he caressed his sore jaw. He was still in shock
himself. "What the fuck are you doing??" he shouted, trying to
prepare a defence for himself from this amazon. "I'm teaching you
a lesson, asshole," the blonde replied, her long, supple leg
lashing out, kicking him harshly in the kidneys. He groaned in pain
and clutched his midriff reflexively. "You need to learn a woman
can defend herself." She stepped to his side, launching her boot
into the back of John's legs, sending him roughly to his knees.
"More than that, this woman can beat you with ease," she added with
a grin, then grabbed his hair and bounced John's head off the edge
of the pool table. He screamed in agony and fell back to the floor
hard. My God, I thought, she's actually doing it. I wanted to get
up and help my friends, but I found I couldn't move, I was
transfixed by this astounding brawl. I stayed where I was.
     I wasn't sure how he managed it, but Gord had gotten back
upright, and came at her. He clenched his fist menacingly, shouted,
"I ain't gettin' beat up by some damn girl!" and swung. His huge
roundhouse left hit only air as she leapt back, and he
overbalanced, winding up leaning forward and to the right on the
pool table she had been playing on. Like lightning, the girl had
raised her right leg and snapped a harsh kick to the side of his
face, staggering him. "Really?" she said with a laugh. "Looks like
you are to me, wimp." She closed in and drove her knee up into his
stomach, driving the wind out of him and bending him in two. "You
ever been knocked out by a girl's fists, loser? You will be
tonight." She brought him back upright with her right hand, then
shot her left fist into his jaw. Her strong punch sent him tumbling
back into the wall again, and back down to the floor. He still
seemed conscious, if only just. Between the pounding she was giving
him and the drinks he'd had, I was shocked to see Gord had lasted
this long.
     It was John's turn to get slapped around again. He had gotten
to his knees by himself, and the woman took a handful of hair and
helped him up the rest of the way. His groggy mind directed him to
try a punch, but his looping right missed badly as she ducked under
it. "I've crushed guys like you before in no time," she taunted as
she came back up, driving her open right hand firmly into John's
gut. As he bent around the force of the blow, her left caught his
cheekbone with a quick downward punch, knocking him onto the pool
table. He lay there a moment, trying to shake his head clear of the
effects of her beatings. "I'm only keeping you awake this long so
you can know how sad you wimps really are. I promised I'd knock you
out and I will." John had regained some strength as she spoke, no
doubt allowing the humiliation she was heaping on him to drive him,
and he stood as quickly as he could and spun to face her. As he
spun, she gave a little leap into the air, her left leg rocketing
straight up into his chin. The pointed toe of her sexy leather boot
shot him off his feet, and he crashed back down onto the pool table
again, groaning with the agony she was inflicting on him. She
paused a moment to further humiliate her nearly beaten opponent. "I
could probably kick your head clean off if I wanted to, tough guy.
Would you like that?" John was in no real position to answer, he
was too busy trying to keep from passing out. Seeing her standing
there, her wonderful body totally dominating my friends, I believed
she was capable of doing whatever she wanted to them.
     As John lay on the pool table groaning, the blonde strode
confidently back to Gord. She hauled him up from his position on
the floor by his hair, then jabbed her left fist into his gut. The
punch got his attention, and she taunted, "Time to finish your
lesson, little man." Almost in slow motion, she cocked her right
fist and launched a cross to Gord's jaw, whack. The solid crack of
her punch and the violence of his reaction demonstrated they
weren't just pats she was throwing out. Gord flopped back against
the wall, a grimace of complete pain on his face, then his knees
collapsed from under him and he dropped to the floor, onto his
side, where he lay unmoving by the girl's feet. I could not believe
this! She was keeping her promise, all right. One of my friends was
out cold, the other was well on the way there, and she was about to
finish the job she was doing on John. He looked like he wouldn't be
able to do a damn thing to stop her either. He was still on the
table, stunned. I had to do something now, try to reason with her,
get her to see she'd made her point.. I got up and walked towards
her, starting to say, "Look, enough's enough.."
     I don't really know what my mistake was. I think I was just
dumb to get back up. Anyways, before I could utter another word,
incredible pain exploded into my midriff as the top of her boot
slammed into my ribcage. "I was wondering when you were gonna come
back for more," the amazon teased me, landing a chop to my neck
that felt like it almost split me in two. Then I felt my arm being
grabbed, and the world spinning almost 360 degrees around me as she
flipped me over onto my back, to crash down near the wall. My God,
she was amazingly strong. The pain she sent coursing through my
body almost kept me completely from moving. I could do nothing but
watch her tower over me as she bent over and addressed me. "Stay
put. I'll be back once I'm done with your friend over there." She
turned back to John.
     He was rolling off the pool table, and he managed to stand,
although his knees almost buckled when he put his full weight on
them. The blonde gave him no mercy. A swift kick to his stomach
bent him in two. "Your turn now, asshole," she sneered in his face.
"Taste my boot." She spun around clockwise and brought her right
leg up. The bottom of her boot crashed loudly through John's face,
his shout of pain echoing in my ears as he flopped down over the
pool table once again and she completed her spinning kick. John too
had succumbed to this woman's amazing fighting ability and was out
like a light.
     Her attention returned to me once again. She allowed herself
a smile of satisfaction as she walked over to tower over me. "So
much for your friends. Want me to do the same to you?" I was too
stunned to answer her question. All I could do was blurt out, "Who
the hell are you??"
     Wrong question. She reached down and yanked me to my feet by
my hair. "I'm the girl who's teaching all of you a lesson," she
told me. My only answer was a loud "Ooooof!" as her fist blasted
into my stomach. "You could learn a lot about fighting from me," I
heard her say, as I tried to straighten up from her blow. As I came
back upright, I watched helplessly as she stepped back, and her
left leg blurred into my sight. The leather of her boot glinted and
flashed in the light as it shot like a rocket into my face. I
yelled in agony as her powerful high kick sent me spinning around
face first into the wall, my vision filled by painful glowing stars
and other stellar objects. She continued, "Most guys are a little
shocked to find a girl knocking them senseless," then I felt her
hands on me, turning me around, tossing me forward. I continued on
the course she shoved me on until my legs hit the pool table and my
face rammed into the fabric.
     As my sight cleared I found myself lying face first on the
table. The woman came into view, sat on the edge of the table and
swung her deadly but lovely legs onto the table. I heard the
sadistic joy in her voice as she taunted, "And most guys are even
more shocked when they feel how strong my legs are." I felt her
slide one of her legs under my neck, then the other clamped down
hard on top. She was strangling me with her legs! The leather of
her boots felt warm as she pressed mercilessly down on my windpipe.
I clawed uselessly at her legs, trying to free myself from this
sexy but devastating hold. She just laughed at my attempts and
crushed me even harder. "Don't bother struggling. You won't be able
to get loose. I'm going to knock you out with my next squeeze."
That sounded like a promise to me, and sure enough, the next thing
I knew she crushed my neck with all the strength she possessed. Her
legs were way too much for me to handle, and I quickly passed out.

     I came to in what looked like a back room. I looked around to
see Gord and John lying on the floor as well, still fast asleep. I
was still trying to piece together exactly why I was there and why
my head felt like it had been split open when I heard a loud
chuckling. I turned to find a man standing in the entrance to the
room. I recognized him as the bartender.
     "What happened?" I managed to groan through the pounding in my
skull.
     "You don't remember?" he asked, his voice sounding slightly
awed.
     "Not really.." I admitted.
     "You don't remember the woman knocking your friends here out?
She finished you off right after them."
     "Oh God.." It was starting to come back to me. "I remember
now.. she took my head between her legs and I couldn't breathe.."
     "That's right," the man said with a grin. "She put you away
and didn't even work up a sweat. After you were out, she picked up
each of you, one by one, slung you over her shoulder and carried
you back in here to wake up. Her strength was amazing. She was nice
about it, I'll say that. She offered to pay for the damages. I told
her watching her kick you guys around was payment enough." He
laughed.
     I grimaced and felt my battered face. She did do a damn good
job rearranging it, and looking over at the still dozing wrecks of
my friends, they'd feel it when they came around too. The idea of
getting beaten up by a woman was still a shocking notion to me.
     "She fought like a pro, I told her," the bartender continued
mercilessly. "She just thanked me for the compliment, then told me
you guys would be out for a few hours and left."
     "That's nice," I grumbled. "But who the hell was she?"
     "She didn't leave a name," the man said. "She did mention she
had just signed up for the BOTS league. Battle of the Sexes. Told
me she was a master kickboxer, boxer, knew a few wrestling moves,
been in street fights, that sort of thing. She just loved beating
up men. I didn't ask after that, y'know? Watching her destroy you
guys was enough for me, I didn't want to find out how good she was
first-hand." The man finished up by saying exactly what was going
through my mind. "Buddy, if you wanted to pick a fight, you
definitely picked the wrong girl to do it with."