Adventures in Rhadamond
By Counselor
Women from earth deal with warrior women and their culture.


This is a tale of the meeting of two cultures, one advanced one primitive.

I

I first saw Rosael striding through the marketplace of Rhadamond with the
grace of a well-trained athlete. The drab color of her clothes contrasted with
the bright pastels worn by the warrior women of that city. The short hair,
tunic, trousers and calf length boots told me that she was one of us, an
oath-sister, or, as the people of Rhadamond would say, an amazon. A long knife
hanging from her belt completed the picture.

"Hello! I'm Rosael daughter-of-Gamade from Calyd," she greeted us. Am I glad
to have found you. I haven't seen a oath-sister since I left home." Her husky
voice had a pleasant lilt. She had a rather broad face with high cheekbones
and startling blue eyes framed by long straight coal black hair, which hung
loosely to her shoulders. In contrast to the local women she displayed not a
trace of makeup on her handsome face. Rather her skin seemed naturally
reddened as if she had recently been in the sun. Tall by our standards, she
was of only average height for a woman of Rhadamond.

"I am Arla daughter-of-Brita," I answered, "and this is my companion, Beizel
daughter-of-Marti. We are from earth."

Beizel, the tallest in our Mother House but only about equal in height to
Rosael, had been my heroine since I first became a novice at age thirteen. She
was then a cheerful auburn haired fifteen year old, larger, stronger and more
clear headed than I. We quickly became the best of friends. In the last four
years our paths had diverged. I, the quick learner had been sent to study
anthropology while Beizel had taken up more practical work. When I had been
asked to do research on the similarities and differences between the
oath-sisters of Earth and the warrior women of Rhadamond, the wiser heads of
the Mother House had decided that Beizel should accompany me. I knew their
arranging for a companion was a kind way of providing a watchdog for a
sometimes less than prudent young scholar, but I went along with the
subterfuge because of my fondness for Beizel. Also I admitted to myself that I
would be safer in her company than on my own.

Rosael continued, "I heard you were heading for Jemmok and I thought what
better than to hook up with two sisters, that is," she added, "if you are
really going to Jemmok and if you will take a companion."

"We are headed for Jemmok and you must come with us," I answered, welcoming
the idea of the newcomer joining our trek. Her frank and open manner inspired
trust. In fact, just seeing an oath-sister in familiar garb in that strange
city so far from my homeland brought a sense of comfort that stilled any
tendency to be wary.

Beizel, more guarded and non-committal than I, tried to steer the
conversation. "I do not know about the two of you, but I am hungry. Let's just
have lunch while we get to know each other and talk about the trip."

As the day was sunny and warm we settled ourselves comfortably in an outdoor
cafe, choosing a table shaded by a large gumman tree. I always feel a little
strange being waited on, especially by men, but they were attentive and the
food, more spicy, varied and imaginatively prepared than on Earth, was
delicious. The people of this primitive planet made an art out of providing
for creature comforts.

Rosael explained that she belonged to a small band of oath-sisters founded
about 30 years previously. She had arrived in Rhadamond only yesterday
intending to visit an oath-sister, Jara daughter-of-Lina and granddaughter of
the founder of her Mother House, who had come to the city in order to sharpen
her warrior skills.

Unfortunately Jara had died about three months previously from a freak
accident. A pack animal from a passing caravan had bolted. Jara, heedless of
her own safety, had tried to catch the bridle. However, the frightened animal
careened into her sending her tumbling head over heels. Jara's head hit a
stone. Several hours later she died. Rosael, still stunned from this
unexpected news was now anxious to return home as soon as possible.

"I have been very stupid," she added with obvious chagrin. "I trusted one of
the guides from Jemmok with a pack animal carrying my luggage. When we stopped
for the night he had gone with everything except these clothes, my knife and
my small purse. If I had not paid in advance for my share of the food for the
rest of the trip, I would be much thinner than you see me now. Finding the two
of you in this lonely place is more than I deserve."

"Tell us more about yourself," Beizel prompted.

Rosael described her life on Calyd in some detail. At age seventeen she had
married an abusive man who mistreated her often forcing unwelcome sex on her.
Her voice trembled with emotion as she described how this husband had beaten
her for being raped by one of his friends. "After the rape I began to doubt
myself. I kept thinking about it, wondering if I had cooperated and maybe even
enjoyed the experience. I came to hate myself as much as I hated the man who
had raped me. I thought of killing myself.

"Then I met Jara. She gave me the strength to begin to think for myself. She
taught me that I bore no guilt for the acts of others. Another could command
my body, but not my soul. My soul is pure. After a while I gained enough
courage to speak up and then to resist. Eventually, I ran away to the Mother
House and become a novice. So here I am."

A similar story could have been told by many if not most oath-sisters, but
hearing it again so far from home and in such a fresh and touching way
awakened anew the bonds of a sisterhood that stretched across solar systems.

"Please join us," I said as soon as she finished her story. "It will cost us
practically nothing to have one extra. Besides three will be safer than two".

Beizel said nothing. Rosael looked at us for a moment and then added, "I will
excuse myself. The two of you need to talk."

"She is perceptive," Beizel mused as Rosael moved away. "Be careful, Little
Sister. You have a good head; just every once in a while let that head try
ruling your heart." As she did often especially when she was giving advice
Beizel used her pet name for me, "Little Sister." As far as I knew she used
that pet name for no one else.

She went on, "What do you know about her? Is her accent really Calydan? I have
met only two people from that planet, and their accents were not like hers.
Besides she is obviously well coordinated but her knife gets in the way when
she sits down as if it were new to her. How do you know she is not a spy? Some
of your questions have not endeared you to the Rhadamond Council. We should
take a sister, but we have to be sure she is truly a sister."

I smiled. Because Beizel was large, physically competent and not very
talkative, most people, even the sisters in the house, overlooked her
observant and penetrating practical intelligence. "Beizel, sometimes I think
that you should be the anthropologist. But, look, she is not a woman of
Rhadamond. They have handled swords since age three. Besides a woman from here
would not have been sensitive enough to leave us alone. Her story rings true.
No one can speak the way she did who is making it up. I know the feelings of
worthlessness that can hang on like a plague and even destroy a person who has
been abused. My intuition is not strong, but I can sense a sister who has
suffered. And one more thing, we were told by the inn keeper of Jara, the
oath-sister who was killed by a runaway pack animal."

It was Beizel's turn to smile. "Little Sister, you should argue before the
courts, but what you say is sensible. I will grant that your insight into
suffering at the hands of men is based on more experience than mine. I could
always give as good as I got. So be it. I agree to take her not because I am
convinced but because it is always better to be too trusting than too
suspicious. Still I am uneasy. I wish we had time to learn more, about her,
but, if we don't leave tomorrow, we will not get to Jemmok in time to catch
this month's space ship."

That night I awoke sometime in the early hours to hear Rosael moan and cry out
in her sleep. I put my hand on her forehead and found it damp with sweat. As I
waked her gently from her dream, she clasped my hand tightly and held on to it
for a several moments. Then she whispered, "Thank you, sister. I will be all
right now." I knew then we had made no mistake.

II

Scientifically I had reached only a rudimentary understanding of an ancient
and complex culture which still today contains much that is primitive.

At first communication was easy, for I was comfortable with the strong, proud
women of Rhadamond. Like us they were fiercely independent. They were able to
express freely what was on their minds without fear of contradiction or
criticism for being different or for holding unpopular views.

However, there were many differences, which got in the way of true
understanding. Their way of dressing is an example. Their individualistic and
brightly colored clothes seemed designed to draw attention to the wearer. In
contrast ours which are rather drab and uniform minimized our individuality.
To outsiders we would be identified only as members of a group. We wear no
jewelry, which seems to us designed only to catch the eyes of men. They like
large and striking necklaces, bracelets and combs that are usually beautifully
designed. Some are abstract. Some display animal motifs which have individual
or clan significance. Lipstick, eye shadow and a rouge like substance
highlight their faces.

To this anthropologist born and raised on Earth the faces of these warriors
resembled nothing so much as a young girl from a traditional family dressed
for a night on the town. I never got accustomed to the dissonance between on
the one hand the swords and self-confident almost swaggering manner and on the
other the brightly colored clothes, jewelry and prettily made up faces. The
problem of understanding the real person inside those contradictions haunted
me throughout the entire trip. Moreover, they thought the more personal
aspects of their behavior none of my business.

Physically the women are well adapted to a warrior culture. The average height
is slightly less than six feet with broad shoulders and muscular arms and
legs. The men are as tall as the women are and on the average somewhat slimmer
and less muscular than the men of Earth.

Among the women the most prized virtues are courage, physical prowess and
loyalty both to clan and to friends. They are generous and expansive, quick to
offer friendship but equally quick to take offense and to reach for their
weapons. Disputes between women are not uncommon and sometimes settled by
unarmed combat conducted in front of a cheering crowd.

The women are more high spirited and less restrained in public than the women
of Earth. Boisterous parties and celebrations take place at the slightest
pretext. I sensed a marvelous self-confidence and an exhilarating joyousness
about the city.

Listening to stories of their military ventures convinced me that their
loyalty and willingness to submit to military discipline make them formidable
warriors. The women have subdued the villages within a day's forced march and
conduct frequent raids on male dominated villages beyond that perimeter
bringing home food, animals and goods. They also capture male prisoners to
whom they assign the most menial of tasks. I should add that the prisoners are
treated quite kindly as long as they remain obedient. They capture no woman
prisoners, for they have only contempt for those who have accepted a
subservient role in a patriarchal society.

I started to develop a theory to explain the differences in attitude and
behavior between oath-sisters and the women of Rhadamond. We had had to
struggle for our independence; the women of this wonderful city had been born
to theirs. They had not had to fight for a sense of personal worth in a
patriarchal society or battled family and custom just to be independent
persons. They had not, like so many of us, suffered from abuse, nor were they
troubled by the nightmares that sometimes persisted for years after entering
the Mother House. I supposed that these differences in experiences accounted
for their self-confidence and more open, individualistic and boisterous
behavior.

I noted that in Rhadamond it was not the women but the men who needed to
overcome insecurity. For example, one would hear the men end sentences with an
upward inflection of the voice that made a simple declarative statement sound
like a question. It was as if the speaker were asking the listener for
permission to hold an opinion. The men of Rhadamond like many women on my home
planet, earth, seemed ready to back down at the first challenge from someone
of the opposite sex. My sympathy flowed immediately to those men, for I know
from personal experience that it takes courage to break out of patterns of
subservience. Perhaps those of us who had struggled to overcome culturally
mandated inferiority felt a natural kinship with others placed in similar
circumstances. My comradely feelings for the men ended there, however, for
their total acquiescence to such a passive role repelled me.

While in Rhadamond I searched for a male equivalent to an oath-sister, that is
a man who struggled to live free of the pervasive dominance of women, but I
had not found such an individual. Perhaps, I thought, there were some, but it
was hard to get behind a man's facade in the short two-month visit. They
seemed pleasant enough on the surface, but were basically shy and not very
communicative to a female stranger. The women of Rhadamond scoffed at the idea
that there should be unsatisfied males saying that the men were quite content
with their lives. After all the women treated them very well, sometimes
pampered them and always spared them from fighting and difficult or heavy
work.

I realize now that I committed an anthropological sin in Rhadamond; I never
fully suppressed a sense of superiority over women who had never had to
struggle for their independence. I suppose it was akin to that pride felt by
the person who had earned an honored position in the presence of one who had
inherited a similar rank.

III

The first week on the trail was uneventful. Rosael was energetic and hard
working. Although inexperienced, she readily volunteered for difficult tasks
and quickly learned the routine of the trail. She was quite, but invariably
cheerful even after falling into the Zambyk River. She had a delightful sense
of humor so that I found myself trying to amuse her just to hear her soft
laugh. She seemed happy and volunteered that sleeping close to "her sisters"
kept the night terrors at bay. Indeed, I heard no more outcries.

Beizel, on the other hand, seemed preoccupied. She was more terse than usual
and uncharacteristically irritable over the little things that inevitably went
wrong.

"What's bothering you?" I asked finally.

"I can't hide my feelings from you, Arlie. I have a foreboding. But don't
worry yourself too much. I have had these feelings before. Sometimes something
unhappy happens; sometimes nothing happens. I don't put too much stock in my
own foreboding, but this one is especially strong. Besides," she added smiling
for the first time all day, "you have a knack for getting yourself in
trouble."

The next day I hardly saw Beizel. She left Rosael and me to bring along the
pack animals while she rode up on the ridges, I supposed so that she could
better look for danger. Late in the afternoon she rejoined us as we were ready
to make camp. When the tent was up, she strolled over to Rosael and asked, "Is
there anything that you would like to tell us?" Rosael turned ashen and then
walked away ostensibly to unload one of the animals, saying with an obvious
effort that left her voice trembling, "No, no, no, not that I can think of".

Beizel's voice took on a stern tone, "Rosael, tell us the truth. The time for
secrets is over."

"No!" Rosael cried out. "There is nothing. Leave me alone." She lifted a pouch
form the animal's back and held it in front of her as if it were a shield.

Suddenly Beizel reached out her hand and ran it over Rosael's face. Rosael
dropped the load and tried to push her away, but Beizel continued her
aggressive behavior grasping the front of Rosael's tunic. Beizel's behavior
was so out of character and so bizarre I was too stunned to do anything but
cry out "Beizel, what is the matter with you? Stop it!"

They grappled together for a few moments before Beizel got the upper hand
holding Rosael on her side with one wrist forced between the shoulder blades.
I finally collected myself enough to move forward crying, "Beizel, stop! Let
her up!" I saw Beizel's free hand pull up Rosael's tunic, tear off what
appeared to be bulky underclothes and expose a perfectly flat chest. I
stopped, now unable even to speak.

Beizel broke the silence. "Your face is smooth, but your chest gives you away.
Do you want to tell us now? Or shall I take off your pants?"

"No! Please! Leave my pants! Please! .... Please.... I am a man."

The last words, said so low as to be almost inaudible, had an effect on me as
if they had been shouted in my ear. The "sister" of whom I had grown so fond
was a liar and an impostor of the worst sort, a male passing as an
oath-sister. I felt a wave of nausea and revulsion.

Beizel said matter of factly, "Arlie, pay attention and hand me some rope." I
brought her rope from the pack animal. The impostor did not resist as Beizel
tied his arms and legs.

Beizel propped him up as comfortably as possible and said rather gently, "All
right, you had better tell us the whole story. Start with your name and go on
from there."

The imposter began with a voice so low that both Beizel and I had to get very
close and strain to hear. I noted a change to what I assumed to be a normal
accent. "My name is Ridan. I was born in Rhadamond. The story I told you is
almost true. I was married to a warrior who treated me miserably. One of her
friends raped me as I told you and I was blamed for it. I became so depressed
I no longer wanted to live. Then I met Jara daughter-of-Liana. She was here
from Calyd. Everything changed when I met her. She was a wonderful woman, an
oath-sister just like the two of you. I was carrying a load of food when I
fell and hurt my ankle. Jara stopped to take care of me. I never knew anyone
so kind. When she asked where I lived, I would not tell her, so she finally
had to take me with her.

"I lived in her room for three months, not like lovers. We became as brother
and sister. I learned so much from her. She taught me that what had happened
to me had happened to other people as well. I came to see that I was not
responsible for things others had done to me. She led me to respect myself as
an independent person. I will never again be the same. She promised to take me
with her back to Calyd. Then she went out for food and I never saw her alive
again." Tears streamed down his cheeks as he spoke of Jara. "Eventually I was
found and taken back home, but in those months I had learned to think for
myself and I determined to resist. When I heard that you were in town, I
planned an escape. I made myself some clothes, put a salve on my face to stop
hair growth and, well, here I am."

"I can't believe it. No woman would do such things," I blurted out still
shocked by the events.

Ridan knew immediately that I was referring to the "rape." "My body did what
she wanted, maybe even part of my mind, but my soul did not and part of my
mind did not." He spoke now with emotion and began to tremble. "Oh, it is all
so hard to explain," he added.

Suddenly filled with sympathy, I reached out my hand to stroke his hair. He
looked at me with an expression of defiance and hate so that I quickly drew
back, surprised and perplexed.

Later I tried to sort out all that had just happened. "Beizel, I have never
seen such a look as he gave me. Does he hate us that much? Has he been hiding
those feelings for the last week?"

"Put yourself in his place, Little Sister. Suppose what he says is true. He
probably thought that your gesture of comfort was a sexual advance. He is
helpless physically, but ready to resist you in anyway he can."

"Beizel, you are right again. I understand. How did you know Rosael was a
man?"

"I was not sure until she, he, got so defensive, but I could think of no other
explanation. It all came together when I thought of your idea of a male
version of an oath-sister. Some oath-sisters have masqueraded as men in order
to escape intolerable lives. Why not a man masquerading as a woman?"

A little later I went over and sat by our prisoner who stared at the ground
not acknowledging my presence. For a moment I felt a strange sense of power
which I instinctively knew to be evil. After that brief emotion I understood
the seduction of having another person, especially an attractive person,
totally in one's power to do with as one pleased. I was horrified at myself
and suppressed the feeling almost before it started, but from that moment on I
have believed in the need for careful upbringing and for stern laws to help
all people keep evil impulses under control.

"Ridan," I began. "You need not be afraid of me. I will never molest you or
abuse you in any way. I have sworn to give myself to no man save in my own
time and season and of my own free will, at my own desire. Beizel has sworn
the same. It would be unthinkable for either of us to abuse man or woman or to
use another person for our pleasure against his or her will."

He looked at me with that frank and open gaze that had impressed me so from
the first. Then he said haltingly, "Thank you... I believe you...A great load
is off my mind...Now I am ready for whatever comes...I should have trusted
you...I am ashamed that I did not."

Later Beizel loosed his bonds on his promise that he would not try to escape.
He went to work immediately cleaning up and repairing equipment as if nothing
had happened.

After dinner we sat silently around a small campfire, Beizel and I staring at
the fire and Ridan stitching a harness.

Finally Beizel spoke, "Ridan, do you know the penalty for impersonating a
oath-sister?"

I felt a chill go up my spine. "I think so, but tell me." he replied.

"Castration or death is the penalty for males," Beizel answered. Her voice was
gentle but uncompromising. The words seemed to hang in the air for an
eternity. I had a vision that must have come from my childhood of icicles,
cold, hard and crystal clear.

Finally he said, "That's what I remembered." He paused and took a deep breath.
"You did not make the rules. Anyway it could be worse. You could send me back.
Besides the last seven days have been the happiest in my life. I have felt
like a person of value, accepted like any other person. I thank you for those
days of freedom. I would not trade them for anything."

"You may choose the punishment." I could sense the pain in Beizel's voice as
she spoke the words.

He shook his head slowly, "No. It might not surprise you that I have been
tempted by both as a way to escape, but I will not choose death, for I believe
that it is not ours to say when we are born and when we die. Rather, it is for
us to live bravely and honestly in the time allotted to us. Nor will I choose
the other. I was born a male. I remained a male even when I dressed and acted
as a woman. I will live according to that fate as long as I am able. No, the
laws are yours not mine. I will not choose."

I found my voice. "Beizel," I interjected, "You can't be serious. You can't
mean what you are saying."

"It is the law, Little Sister, a law we were sworn to uphold, whether we find
it appealing or not."

"But we are on another planet. No one would ever know." As soon as the words
were out, I knew that I had made the wrong argument to someone of Beizel's
rectitude. Her look of distaste confirmed my insight. I shifted ground.
"Beizel, he is not like a man of Earth. Women have oppressed him. Some
oath-sisters have posed as men to escape their lot. He is only doing what you
or I might do in his circumstances."

"I know, Arlie. I know. I am as unhappy as you are. The law may be harsh, but
it is our law. It is a law to protect all oath-sisters; it is not just a law
to protect us as individuals. Our lives and our order are beacons to oppressed
women everywhere. Most of this planet is patriarchal and no safer for women
than is Earth. Besides, we have taken an oath. We have no choice."

I was silent, not because I agreed, but because I needed to get away to sort
out the events of the day.

As soon as possible, I drew Beizel aside and returned to the argument.
"Beizel, this is much too complicated. Let's not do something that we will
always regret. We can take Ridan home with us to Earth. Mother Keila can help
us decide the punishment if any. She is wise and kind. Besides," I added to
give an added reason for delay, "He is useful on the trail and it will be
helpful to have another person if we are attacked"

"Arlie, let us sleep on it. Tomorrow we will decide."

That night I heard a cry that awakened me. I reached out to Ridan and shook
him gently awake. For as few moments he clasped my hand with both of his, then
he whispered, "I am all right now. May I still call you 'sister'?"

"Of course." He held my hand for a few minutes more. I was glad that neither
he nor Beizel could see the tears on my cheeks.

IV

A few days later we three left the plains and entered the forest country. The
trail was well cleared beneath the magnificent tall arka trees. I was happy
that Beizel had acceded to my entreaties to delay any decision about the fate
of Ridan. I tried to enjoy to the fullest the ride through this land of beauty
and enchantment with two wonderful companions, but thoughts of what might
happen on our arrival on Earth kept intruding. Either penalty that Mother
Keila might choose was too horrible to contemplate. She might choose leniency,
but our stern code left her little room. As I watched Ridan riding easily and
peacefully through a patch of sunlight, I resolved that no harm should befall
him for doing only what I, or for that matter Beizel might have done in his
place.

I am ashamed to say that I developed a plan to steal him away in the night
while Beizel was sleeping. The two of us, Ridan and I, could make a life for
ourselves here on this planet. We could certainly find a place safe from the
warriors of Rhadamond and the oath-sisters of our Mother House. Concentrating
on future plans rather than present dangers can, of course, is a mistake.

Disaster struck from above. Weighted nets dropped from tree branches fell over
us. Simultaneously shouting warriors attacked us from above and from front and
rear. Before we could offer any effective resistance, we were wrapped in the
nets and bound tightly. Feeling panic overtake me, I struggled to the utmost,
but succeeded only in tightening the bonds. I felt myself lifted up and thrown
face down across the saddle of my animal so that my head hung done on the left
side and my feet on the right. I could no longer even see what was happening.
Only once before in my life had I felt so helpless and unable even to offer a
semblance of resistance. As I fought to keep the terror at bay, I heard Beizel
swearing over her own stupidity at being so trapped. That normal sound
steadied me to the point that I tried to shout comfort to her to tell her it
was all as much my fault as hers, but she either did not hear me or could not
answer.

We rode for what seemed like eternity, but I learned later was about a
half-hour. When we halted, I was lifted from the horse and propped up in a
sitting position on the ground. Once I could get my bearings the panic receded
so that I could begin to sort out my impressions. I could see that we were in
a clearing. Tents were pitched and several fires were going. There were about
50 warriors grouped in a semicircle around us. Since all were women, I
concluded they had come from Rhadamond. Beizel and Ridan were propped close to
me.

One of the warriors stepped forward to stand directly in front of Ridan.
"Ridan, what is the matter with you? Why have you run off? Look at you in
ridiculous clothes. I can't understand you. I have overlooked your foolishness
and forgiven your disobedience and you have repaid me by running off. My
warriors have given up their leaves to come all this way with me. We thought
you might have been captured and in danger." I was shocked. I had fallen into
a stupid error. I am ashamed even now to admit that I expected Ridan's wife to
be huge and ugly with a loud harsh voice. However, standing before me was a
handsome young woman about my own age. Her soft blonde hair hung down over
rather broad shoulders. She had large dark eyes with a finely chiseled nose
and full lips. Her breasts were of medium size and seemed well shaped. On
Earth she would have been called very pretty or even perhaps beautiful. Her
voice was soft, almost gentle, although I could sense anger in it.

She motioned to two of the warriors. "Untie him." As soon as he was free Ridan
began rubbing his arms and legs. Watching him, I could feel more acutely the
ache in my own. "Stand up," the blonde leader continued. Slowly Ridan got to
his feet and stood before her his head down looking at the ground. "All right,
explain yourself. I want to hear what you have to say, right now!"

I could see Ridan's lips move, but could hear nothing. "Speak up. I want
everyone to hear. These women have given up their leaves and have traveled
hard for a week. They deserve to hear why. Later we can discuss those things
that are just between you and me."

Ridan answered his voice quiet but steady, "Mindra, I am truly sorry. I never
wanted to cause any trouble for you or for your warriors. I ran away because I
had to have freedom. I disguised myself as a woman only to escape without
being recognized and so that the oath-sisters would take me with them. I tell
the truth. They believed I was a woman. I alone am to blame." With that his
head fell so that he again looked at the ground.

"Look at me," her voice had taken on an edge of anger. He raised his head. "I
have treated you like a prince," she continued. "I have never looked at
another man since we first took our preliminary vows. Now you have run off
with two women, good-looking women at that? Did you sleep with them as you did
with Kundra? Answer me!"

"Mindra, can we have no privacy?"

"These are my comrades who have been faithful to me. They deserve to hear.
Besides they know you have run away with those women as well as I do. Answer
me."

"Alright, then let everyone hear." His anger now matched hers. "Neither of
these women touched me. They are different. Anyway, until a few days ago they
thought I was a woman."

"Amazons are lovers of woman as well as of men."

"Mindra, have you no shame? Listen to me carefully just this one time. There
has been nothing between these women and me. Kundra was different, but that
was your fault. Remember. You were angry with me and left me alone with your
friend Kundra. I had no thought of sex until she forced herself on me. I hated
her for what she did to me. I still have nightmares about it."

"You had to want her. It would have been impossible for her to force you
against your will."

"I did not want her. I begged her to let me alone. Then I fought. I tried with
all the will I had to keep control of my body. My body responded to her, but
my soul never did." His voice dropped and I guessed that they had been through
these same arguments and perhaps even these same words before. He continued,
"I had loved you until you took her word against mine and called me a liar.
Then you beat me and took me as she had with force. After that I changed. I am
sorry Mindra." His head fell and he looked again at the ground.

"Take off those stupid amazon clothes." When he made no move, she added, "Help
him." Two of the women stripped off his clothes until he stood totally
exposed. He made no attempt to cover himself but stood straight with head up
and eyes boldly looking into the face of the leader. My heart went out to him
in this show of dignity and courage despite his vulnerability and
defenselessness.

Mindra stared right back at him. Both were silent eyes locked in a test of
will. The warriors were equally immobile and quiet. Not one of them had said a
word since the interrogation had begun. Mindra broke the silence, "Get him a
blanket. Ridan, you and I will talk later. Now I will deal to these husband
stealers."

Clutching the blanket about him, Ridan spoke again in a clear voice, "Mindra,
wait! I realize how you must feel, but it is not their fault. I know you do
not believe me about Kundra, but please believe me now. Let them go, and I
will return home with you and never again try to escape." He paused, waiting
for an answer. When none came, he added, "And I will be a good husband to you
in ways that I have not recently. I will promise to work hard and ... and to
love you as a good husband should."

She smiled. In any other setting I would have called that smile radiant. She
walked over to him, put her arm around him and kissed him on the mouth.
"That's my Ridan," she said, warmly. "I will leave their fate up to you. Pass
the test tonight and tomorrow they live. Their fate is in our bed; so do your
best." She laughed happily and with her laugh the tension seemed to drain from
her comrades. They began a small celebration clapping and making encouraging
sounds. I watched them mill around hugging both Mindra and Ridan. I thought he
looked numbed and moved as if he were sleepwalking.

V

Several of the women loosed Beizel and me. I experienced a great sense of
relief as freedom of movement was restored to my aching arms and legs. The
panic that was just under the surface receded. We were not totally free. They
chained our ankles so that by taking very small steps we could move about the
camp. In addition two guards were assigned to watch us lest we get too near
the weapons. Escape was out of the question.

Although we were clearly prisoners the warriors were kind sharing their food
with us and making certain we were comfortable. They were friendly and curious
seeming to have no inhibitions or shyness perhaps because as captives we were
totally non-threatening. They kept up a constant flow of questions, which we
answered as good naturedly as possible. I learned more from their questions
than I had from two months of asking my own in Rhadamond.

Some of the more revealing questions were - Are all Amazons lovers of women as
we have heard? Or are they like us some loving men and some loving women? In
your world why do not the women simply refuse to be ruled by men? If the men
are larger and more violent, why not just bang their knockers and be done with
them?

They were interested in our looks and dress -- Why do Amazons wear their hair
so short? Why are their clothes so shapeless, so drab and so ugly? Don't women
of your planet like jewelry and adornment? For what possible reason would a
woman want to hide her body or appear sexually unattractive? Did men try to
dress unattractively also? Why was I so small and slight while Beizel could
pass for one of them, at least if nicely dressed?

Their curiosity about our relations with Ridan betrayed a suspicion that
perhaps we had not told all. -- Did we think Ridan was good looking?
(Obviously they did.) Did we like him? Did he really have us fooled? If we
truly liked men, why had we not had a little fun with him? What were our
reasons for holding back? Were we afraid he would reject us? Did we think a
man might be too strong for us?

I was struck by the natural self-confidence of these women. They dressed
neither to attract nor to repel men but only to please themselves. No man
could threaten their independence; thus they could enjoy men or not as they
pleased. An alliance of women was for personal enhancement and not for mutual
support against men who represented no threat whatsoever. I began to revise my
earlier opinions. I decided I had been wrong and arrogant. It might well be
better to be born independent than to have to acquire one's independence
sometimes at terrible personal cost. Perhaps those of us raised in a
patriarchal society could never achieve the self-confidence and freedom of
these innocents. My admiration grew, perhaps almost to point of envy.

Later I saw Mindra walking with her arm around Ridan. He was laughing at
something she was saying and put his head on her shoulder. She turned toward
him pulled him backward so that he half rested in her arms and kissed him.
When she finally raised her head, he rested in her arms waiting for another
kiss which was not long in coming. My felt my chest constrict and my stomach
turn over. Before coming to Rhadamond I had seen women command men and defeat
men in battle, but it was there that for the first time I had seen a woman so
clearly dominant in an affectionate relationship. As an anthropologist I
mentally filed away this bit of cultural information. But as a participant in
the events professional detachment was overridden by shock at Ridan's
surrender to one I now considered an enemy. Below these reactions was a third.
I was also a woman who had struggled hard against a stifling patriarchal
culture. In a curious way that sight was liberating even exhilarating. It was
as if another door had been opened on the unlimited potential of all women.

My personal and emotional involvement got the upper hand. The man who was
submitting himself so freely to this woman was Ridan, the same Ridan who had
awakened my admiration and an affection verging on love, the same Ridan, who
had chosen freely to come with Beizel and me, the same Ridan, whom shortly
before I would have freed if given the chance even at the cost of my life. Now
he was giving himself shamelessly to another, an enemy. I felt sick and
betrayed.

Later I whispered to Beizel, "Did you see Ridan with Mindra. He has betrayed
us. He is disgusting."

Beizel whispered back, "Don't judge too quickly, Little Sister. He may be
trying to save your life." I understood immediately and felt ashamed, vowing
once again to keep my emotions under the control of my reason.

VI

Later, as darkness fell, I watched with despair and jealously as Mindra led
Ridan to a large tent near the center of the camp. Two of the warriors pulled
Beizel and me to our feet and took us to another tent near the edge of the
clearing. They chained us together with a loop around the tent pole. Kindly
they gave us blankets, for the temperature was dropping and my teeth had begun
to chatter. As I lay there in the dark anger, despair, jealously and guilt at
allowing ourselves to be taken by surprise chased each other across my
consciousness. Despite my best efforts anger and jealousy crowded out
everything else as the image of Ridan receiving Mindra's kiss danced before my
eyes. Eventually fatigue brought sleep.

A shaking dragged me unwillingly out of a dreamless sleep. I had no idea where
I was. I knew only that I did not want to wake up. Then a voice whispered in
my ear, "Be quiet! Not a word! Take off the chains. They are unlocked." I
followed directions. The speaker then drew Beizel and me together and
whispered, "Your animals are at the south edge of camp near the small pond. Go
quietly. If you want to leave here alive, be quick. Go!"

"Who are you?" It was Beizel speaking.

"I am Ridan's sister. Go!"

I was trying to sort out the new events, when I heard Beizel say, "We will
take Ridan with us."

"You can't. Please go. Quickly!"

"No, bring Ridan here."

"I can't."

"Tell us where he is."

"He is with Mindra. Please go. You are risking Ridan's life and yours as well
as mine. Go!"

Beizel's voice remained calm, "Is Mindra asleep?"

"Yes, but it is too dangerous." When we made no move, she finally added, "All
right, I will try. Wait here for me."

I could make out a shadowy figure leaving the tent. Minutes went by and then
more minutes until what must have been a half-hour had passed. Beizel cursed
herself for not having gone with Ridan's sister. Neither of us believed that
we could find and identify Minder's tent in the dark. We had no choice but to
wait or to flee; so we waited. An hour passed. I could now notice a rose color
in the sky. Somewhere a bird sang. I shared Beizel's determination not to
leave without Ridan, but I realized that we might not leave at all. I wished
for my knife.

Then we heard a slight rustling and two figures appeared. A voice said, "I am
sorry. Mindra woke up and wanted more pleasure. I was in the tent and could
not move until she went back to sleep."

Then I heard Ridan's voice, "Beizel, please go quickly and take Arlie with
you."

"You come with us."

"No," he answered. "It is too dangerous. Mindra may wake up any minute and
come after me. I have to go back then I know I can keep her occupied while you
escape."

"We are not going without you," Beizel said firmly.

"You will have to come," I added.

He capitulated, "I will, if you want me, but we have to go quickly. You better
come, too, Varda."

The four of us crept as rapidly as possible through the camp. By now we were
quite visible under the pink sky. Suddenly a voice not ten yards said rather
sleepily, "Who's there?" I could feel my heart pounding as I continued to walk
slowly.

"Varda, just going to get some water." It was the voice of Ridan's sister.

The other voice took on a suspicious tone, "Who's with you, Varda?"

We ran for our lives. We soon reached the two animals and mounted, Varda and I
on one, Ridan and Beizel on the other. The alarm was being sounded behind us.
It was too light now to hide so we headed our doubly loaded animals toward a
nearby gorge. Perhaps there we could loose our pursuers or find a place to
hide.

Soon we could look back and see mounted figures behind us gaining rapidly.
Suddenly my animal stumbled throwing Varda and me over its head. As the animal
was clearly injured, Varda and I left it and sprinted on toward the edge of
the gorge. Beizel stopped and turned her mount. "Run over to those rocks and
try to hide. We will lead them on." She took the bridle of the injured animal,
which with no load could still make some forward progress. Varda and I dodged
among the rocks, found a large boulder and crouched behind it. We heard the
warriors rushing closer and then as Beizel had planned they swept past us.
About five minutes later we heard shouting in the distance and then silence.

We waited for about half an hour unable to hear or see anything more. The
suspense became unbearable. Finally Varda said, "Wait here. I will sneak up
toward the gorge and try to find out what is going on."

She ran off, leaving me totally alone for the first time since joining the
sisterhood fourteen years previously. I felt lonely and cut off from all that
gave meaning and structure to my life. I fought back the terror that
threatened to return. To offset the fear I tried to put my predicament into
anthropological terms. These warriors were acting on the basis of their
history and their culture. The question was how did they view the
situation...but my personal feelings kept intruding. Animal survival was all
that was left, but was it worth it? Did I want to stay alive on this primitive
planet without Beizel, without Ridan? Then I had a vision of the dead bodies
of Beizel and Ridan and a sense of desolation and disorientation with vertigo.

In desperation I put all ideas out of my mind and concentrated my thoughts on
a single word from another alien culture. A word that signifies the infinite.
"Om," I repeated to myself. "Om," as I focused my attention shutting out all
sensations. It was a meditation that I had learned from a woman of Hindu
background who had spent a year in the Guild House. Gradually my mind did
focus and peace descended over me. All fatigue vanished. I had total awareness
of the sky and rocks and the wildflowers and the singing of the birds. Alone
on that strange planet I became one with the universe, with Beizel and Ridan
and all the sisters.

After about three hours Ridan's sister returned looking tired and downcast. "I
am sorry," she said, " I do not even know your name."

"Arla daughter-of-Brita."

"Arla, they are dead. Ridan and your friend tried to ride too far into the
gorge. Some of the warriors saw the lead animal stumble. They fell into the
river and were killed. I am sorry." She sat down beside me and put her arm
around my shoulder. My peace left me. The two people I loved best in all the
world were gone, dead, their bodies smashed and lifeless. And for what? One
wanted only his freedom, the other only to be helpful. The customs that only
twenty-four hours ago had seemed innocent today seemed barbaric and cruel.
Beizel and Ridan were lost because of the selfishness and the power of one
woman.

I wept with pain and anger. We stayed hidden in the rocks until dusk. I
learned that Varda had actually talked with some of her friends. They had
given her food and water, which she shared with me. She fully intended to
rejoin the band in a few weeks when Mindra's anger against her had cooled. As
she understood and forgave Mindra, she fully expected that Mindra would
understand and forgive her actions which while disobedient had been based on
ties of blood.

Varda accompanied me to Jemmok and stayed with me until the spaceship came
about four weeks later.

VII

The grief and loneliness had been overpowering. Entering the Guild House was
like coming home and reverting to childhood. I threw myself into the arms of
Mother Keila, "Oh, Mother, why did this happen? I have lost my two best
friends. It was all my fault. I insisted on the trip. I wanted to take Ridan
with us. If I had been more careful, they would still be alive. Beizel will
never again see you or the sisters or the Mother House." Then I wept until I
had no more tears. The members of the Guild House were my loving family,
willing to tolerate my moodiness and my silences and to support me when my
sadness and my guilt were too much to bear alone. Time and the love of my
sisters gradually drew me toward a more normal existence.

As my emotions stabilized and my intellect began to function, I tried to
understand both the events and my reactions to them. I came to see that we had
all been caught in the misunderstandings, violence and warfare that are
frequently engendered at the frontiers between primitive and civilized
societies. We were not the first nor would we be the last to be caught in a
series of tragic events at that difficult interface. Beizel and I had
mistakenly believed that we understood the woman of Rhadamond because they
were independent women with the skills of warriors just as we were. We
overlooked the vast differences in education and in social and ethical codes.
We forgot that our society was far more advanced than theirs, both
economically and culturally. In trying to help Ridan we had trampled on
complex moral codes of which we understood very little. We, especially I, the
anthropologist, should have known better, but my professional training had
betrayed me, blinding me rather than giving me understanding. Ridan was more
than my friend; he had become my scientific discovery, the male version of
myself, a masculine oath-sister. I did not consider that he had never
experienced a support group or lived in anything resembling a guild house. My
simplistic theories had been fair neither to him nor to his people. My
deepened understanding plus the emotional support of my sisters helped me to
bring my grief and feelings of guilt under some control.

VIII

Now ten years later, when it was my turn to visit the field staff, I was ready
to return a more experienced and, I hoped, a wiser person.

About a week after arrival at the spaceport I left Jemmok heading toward
Rhadamond. We reached the village of Astar by mid afternoon. After unpacking
the animals I wandered into the small marketplace. There I saw a figure that I
should have recognized anywhere. As she was not looking at me, I stared for a
few moments doubting my own eyes. The woman looked like Beizel and moved like
Beizel. Her hair was auburn like Beizel's but hung down covering her
shoulders. She was dressed in the brightly colored tight fitting clothes
fashionable in Jemmok. A necklace of what appeared to be jade, a gold bracelet
and a sword completed the picture. The picture was incongruous, but the person
could be no one else. "Beizel!" I cried.

She turned and came toward me. "Arlie! Oh, Arlie! Little Sister, is it you?"
About a yard from me she hesitated, stopped and covered her face with her
hands. I moved forward and embraced her. Quickly her uncharacteristic
diffidence faded and we hugged overcome with emotion.

Finally I said, "Beizel what has happened to you? Why did you not come home or
at least send us a message? I missed you so. I thought you were dead. I am so
glad to see you."

Beizel responded, "Let us sit down and I will tell you." As we faced each
other, I noticed the artificial color that brightened her lips and cheeks and
shadowed her eyes. The makeup on Beizel looked false and gave me a feeling
that I was in a dream. A few moments later she continued. "Arlie, perhaps it
would have been better if I had died. For, you see, I have broken my vows. I
have done a most terrible thing and am condemned to live with my guilt. You
and all oath-sisters should turn against me. You should perhaps even kill
me.... But," she added softly and with a faint smile, "I should like to visit
with you first. Tell me about yourself and then I will tell my story."

I was glad to oblige and told Beizel about myself and our sisters in the Guild
House. She asked many questions dragging out the story so that we became
hungry strolled over to an inn and ate together. After dinner she said, "Well,
Little Sister, it is time you heard my story. As you can see I did not die.
Ridan and I were riding double when we left you. I tried to get our animal to
take us further down the side of the gorge than was safe. He slipped throwing
Ridan and me so that we fell about twenty feet to a ledge below. Ridan twisted
his ankle badly. Both animals tumbled all the way to a shallow part of the
river and were killed. Since we were vulnerable to being attacked from above,
there was only one thing to do. We climbed down the side for about fifty feet
and then jumped the rest of the way landing in the river. It was as scary a
thing as I ever want to do.

"The water was cold and swift, but we managed to swim to the bank and find a
small cave half in the water. It was impossible to see the mouth of the cave
from above; so we pulled ourselves into it feeling safe for the moment. Then I
had an idea that I believe saved our lives. Both animals lay in a shallow part
of the river. I took our clothes and fastened them so that they could be seen
from above extending out from under the animals. I hoped that it would appear
that the four of us had been crushed under the animals. Then Ridan and I hid
in the cave. I later learned that the ruse worked.

"To be safe we did not venture out of the cave for three days. Then I was able
to recover a saddlebag that contained some soggy food that had been hidden
there by Varda to provide nourishment for our escape. I reclaimed our clothes
but it was impossible to dry them out. Ridan's ankle had become quite swollen
so that we sat in that cave wet and cold for another ten days. Finally we had
to leave to keep from starving. We made a raft from several logs lashed
together with our bridles and half floated, half swam down the river for three
more days until I judged we were near to the route that leads from Rhadamond
to Narik. We were lucky. Within six hours of leaving the river we ran into a
group of travelers who gave us food and water. We stayed with them for a few
days and then set out again on our own. Let me just say that we had many
adventures. We went again without food and twice without water. Since we had
started with nothing, we had to steal and to rob in order to survive.

"When we arrived in Jemmok I learned that you had left many weeks earlier
having given us up for dead. At first I planned to wait for the next space
ship, but then, Arlie, I decided to stay on this planet. Later I went native
as you see me now.".

"But why did you not send a message? I grieved so for you."

"And I for you, Arlie, but do you not remember the words of our vow? 'From
this moment, I swear to obey all the laws and oaths of the sisters...and if I
fail, then may every woman's hand turn against me, let them pursue me and slay
me like an animal and wipe my name from the earth.'" She paused, "I have
forsworn."

"What have you done?"

"Come, I will show you." We walked silently for about 15 minutes until we came
to a campsite. A man was preparing a meal while simultaneously watching over
three small children. Beizel called out, "Ridan, come see who is here." Ridan
was dressed in drab clothes not too dissimilar to those he had worn when
disguised as an amazon except that his hair was held back by a bright purple
headband and he wore two gold appearing bracelets.

As I moved into the light of the fire his face betrayed astonishment, "Arlie!
Arlie! Why have you come?"

"Not for us, my dear," Beizel said in a reassuring voice using a term of
affection that was not lost on me. Then she motioned to the eldest of the
children who I learned later was eight years old, "Come here young woman and
tell this nice person your formal name."

"Arla daughter-of-Beizel."

"And you," she said to the child about two years younger.

"Rosael daughter-of-Beizel."

The third child, a boy, was too young for such games. I looked at the grave
young face of Arla daughter-of-Beizel and thought that I had never seen
anything more lovely. I said quietly, "Arla, meeting you is a great joy. We
have much to talk about." Then turning to the adults, I went on, "Beizel,
Ridan, I am so happy to see you and these beautiful children . . ." I could
not go on. The three of us embraced and laughed with tears in our eyes while
the children looked on mildly curious at such strange behavior.

When the children were at last asleep we sat quietly by the fire, content to
be together again. I was the first to speak, "Beizel, what did you mean when
you said that you broke your oath?"

"Little sister, I thought you already knew. Ridan broke our law when he
disguised himself as an oath-sister. My duty was either to kill or to mutilate
him. You see him alive and you have seen our children. Draw your own
conclusions about whether I have kept my oath and obeyed our law."

"But that was all long ago. I am sure that if you took him to the Guild House
and reported what had happened both of you would be forgiven."

"You are sure. How sure?"

"Well, quite sure."

"Quite sure is not good enough. As far as I am concerned any risk to Ridan or
to the happiness of our family is too great. Even to let them know that we are
alive would increase our danger. You know that some of the sisters have been
horribly mistreated and are deeply suspicious of all men."

"You have a point, Beizel. Certainly you have been safer because all thought
that you had died," I said, realizing that although Beizel and Ridan still
felt great affection for me, they saw me as a danger to all they valued most.
Through me might come retribution destroying all that they had created for
themselves and for their children. Confirmation of that insight was not long
in coming.

Ridan had nestled himself close to Beizel and put his head on her shoulder.
Beizel put her arm around him and smiled, "Ridan has reverted to type. He is
truly a man of Rhadamond."

"That is because I have found a woman to love," he put in. Then he continued
somewhat hesitantly, "Arlie, Beizel and I are very happy. We have lived here
for ten years and brought children into this world. We have never asked
anything of anyone, until now. Arlie, Beizel will not like me asking this of
you, but I will for the sake of our love and the children. Arlie, please don't
spoil what we have here. I beg you. Please let us stay as we are. Please."

My heart went out to Ridan. In the past I might have answered his emotion with
my own sympathy, but for once my heart and my head were working together. My
mind took in the fragments of the scene. Ridan, a parent begging for his mate
and his children had let his emotions, get out of control. What was called for
was not more emotion but clarity and dispassion. I ignored him and looked
straight at Beizel. "Beizel, in the years we were together you never violated
the law or even a single rule of the house. Now you are paying for breaking
both the law and your own standards. You are an outcast from those sisters who
took you in and gave you shelter and love. Your punishment is just. I am
different. I have never had your strength of character. I have broken many
rules, but I have tried to remain faithful to the spirit of the law as I
interpret it for myself. You are true to your character when you suffer for
breaking the letter of the law. I am true to my character and to my vision of
the spirit of the law when I say that your secret is safe with me."

Ridan took hold of my hand and began kissing it. Beizel looked deep into my
eyes and then said, "I can never again call you 'Little sister'. That name no
longer fits." That was the greatest compliment of my life.