Ja-Rel
By Counselor
Two warriors battle over a single love.


Cultures change, but human beings do not. Here is a story of humans is a
distant culture.

The two warriors circled warily, testing each other. I, Li-Al of Tarek, the
cause of this battle, watched helplessly through the wooden bars separating me
from the combatants. One warrior would die and my body, if not my heart, would
belong to the survivor. On a tapestry such a scene might seem romantic. But in
the real world fear and shame paraded across my consciousness. To be the prize
of violence was more than terrifying; it was degrading.

Ja-Rel, my lover of four years, feinted to the right, but failed to draw out
Parebo. My love for Ja-Rel awoke when first I saw a handsome young warrior
with penetrating eyes and the lithe grace of a panther. The intertwining of
danger and beauty enthralled me. The tenderness beneath the strength touched
me deeply. And then there was the mystical ability to understand the meanings
behind my words, to know the secrets of my heart. With the first kiss my
ambition faded as did the daring goals I had held for so long.

Their movements, still tentative, seemed to be infinitely slow as in a dream.
Those four years with Ja-Rel had been the happiest of my life. My friends
never understood why I gave up an independent life to become what they called
in derision, "Ja-Rel's plaything." One especially close friend said, "Sleep
with Ja-Rel if you must, but never commit yourself to any warrior, for if you
do, you will always take second place to adventure and glory. You will give
and give and get nothing but heartache in return." I knew the truth when I
heard it, but my heart ruled my head.

Parebo lunged first; Ja-Rel retreated, holding back from the expected
counterattack. I had joyously given my body, my soul and even my independence
to Ja-Rel. I rejoiced even when I knew my surrender to be a weakness. Many a
night I had lulled myself to sleep intoning, "Ja-Rel, Ja-Rel." I loved and
then I loved more until I was so filled there was room for nothing else.

They circled; suddenly Ja-Rel thrust forward only to be blocked by Parebo.
Parebo with the black hair and the ready smile had come through our village
only a few months before. One look and I knew that I was the object of intense
desire and Parebo knew that I knew. And I knew that he knew that I knew, and
so on, until I became as dizzy with thinking as with another's passion.
Rustian warriors never ask permission to love. Why should they? They think
that their passion is enough for both and that being possessed by a Rustian
warrior is an honor and a joy. I did not blame Parebo, for I could never fault
anyone for birth and upbringing. Parebo was a Rustian raised in the Rustian
way. Ja-Rel and I were from Tarek raised to respect the dignity of each and
every person. That was the difference.

The pace of the battle quickened. Parebo feinted left and struck from the
right. Ja-Rel blocked and countered. Riding on a great horse, Parebo had
snatched me from a raspberry patch. I fought, but I had been inactive for too
long and was weak. My futile struggles resulted only in my being held tighter
and kissed in amusement as we galloped deeper into the woods. This room with
the wooden bars and the lock on the door had become my prison.

Now the tempo increased. Thrust! Block! Counter-thrust! Retreat! Advance! By
the standards of the Rustians Parebo had been kind and gentle. "Relax. You are
too good for Ja-Rel. I, Parebo, will make you happy, as you have never been
before. Take your time. Get to know me. Soon you will feel differently."

Now Parebo was the aggressor with Ja-Rel backing and evading. Now the roles
were reversed with Parebo on the defensive. Parebo prepared delicious meals.
Rustians spend more time on creature comforts than we do. "Now I'll cook for
you. Later when you love me, you cook." Then there were the stories and little
jokes. Parebo's songs, sometimes joyous, sometimes sad, were always hauntingly
beautiful. "Don't you see how I love you. For you I risk my life." And always
there was the laughter.

Ja-Rel, Ja-Rel, why have I brought you here - so close to danger- so near to
death? Ja-Rel found us because something in my innermost being had called out
and made contact across the distance. But now I wished that I had never
called, for I wanted no suffering, no bloodshed, no death - certainly not on
my account. All I desired was peace, to be left alone, never again to see
either of them.

The combat reached a new intensity so that I could scarcely follow the
movements which flowed together as if choreographed. Then by concentrating I
found could enter into their very perceptions as they performed this dance of
battle. Thought and action were one. Mind fused with body, thought with
action. And I was one with them. They had no fear, but rather a sense of joy
at the exercise of an artistry far beyond the reach of ordinary mortals. Each
was totally engaged with the other. Neither had any thought of the prize, that
is, neither had any thought of me.

Defenses were readied even as the thought of attack began in the mind of the
opponent. Suddenly as though I had been released from blindness a new truth
flashed before me. They fought not because of me. I was only the excuse,
certainly not the true cause. They fought because they were warriors, because
they lived for the sword and died by the sword. They fought because they were
artists whose medium was battle. The fault was theirs, not mine.

"Stop! Stop!" My thoughts battered at their minds. "Stop this madness!"
Suddenly as if by signal they parted. Their sword points were lowered to the
ground. After a moment of silence Parebo spoke to Ja-Rel, "You are a brave
such as I have never seen. Let us make peace. Then we will travel together,
across the river, beyond the mountains. No one will stand before us. What
adventures we will have and what glory!"

After a pause that seemed to last forever Ja-Rel replied, "And Li-Al?"

"We'll forget about past loves. Li-Al is a rare jewel, but adventure and glory
are better."

In the passion of the moment Ja-Rel was tempted. What could be stronger than
the bonds between great warriors? Then the decision was made; the answer came,
"Li-Al stays with me."

"It is a pity. Even Li-Al is not worth your death, probably not even worth
mine, now that I think of it." With Parebo's laugh their swords came
simultaneously to the ready.

At that moment I found my voice. "No! Stop! I don't want either of you! Go
away! Take your craziness with you over the mountains. Leave me! Leave me!
Stop! Stop!" That cry from the depths of my soul changed nothing; my words
entered their ears but never touched their hearts.

They resumed the dance of death, caught again in the exhilaration of testing
their limits. Now I beheld my own faults as clearly as I had seen theirs. I
had squandered my birthright. Ja-Rel had never asked for the sacrifice of my
independence. No, I had thrown it away; I had let myself become little more
than a prize for violence, a medal for bravery. Now I knew that I had betrayed
myself, that I was as unworthy as they. I vowed to change no matter what the
cost.

They fought now in earnest. The art had was also a contest. Parebo was the
first to foresee the end. Ja-Rel was setting the pace, leading in the dance of
death. Parebo could only follow, caught up in the style and the rhythm set by
the other. There was still no fear only added concentration to speed up, to
lead and not to follow. This total involvement in the game, in the high art of
battle, even to the point of death was beyond my understanding. I sensed the
ecstasy of Parebo. Then Ja-Rel knew and with a lunge ended the dance.

Ja-Rel unlocked the door. I inhaled the scent of her sweat and drank in her
exultation in victory. As always at her touch my bones turned to water. I let
my head fall against the hard mail that covered Ja-Rel's breasts. We both had
enough pain for that day. The task of rebuilding my life could wait until
tomorrow. Then there would be tears for Parebo. But for the moment all my
resistance and all my doubts were swept away. I, Li-Al of Tarek, belonged once
again to Ja-Rel.