Corbin Part 39
By Corbin
How life tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.


Some people have expressed how wonderful it would be, 'to be', a friend of
mine. How idealistic I must say, from afar I am sure it must seem like a nice
thing, but honestly I am not so easy a person to be friends with; I am very
moody and there is no way to predict when I will want a moments peace and
quiet.

So if anyone has noticed...or gives a shit enough to notice, my past couple of
posts have a more UPBEAT tone. Maybe it's the time of the Season. I love
Christmas, mostly because of my religious beliefs, but it's the entire
'Season' thing. I am not into buying gifts and stuff; I think that's a bunch
of marketing bullshit created by businesses to increase their bottom line.

Okay, so where was I?

Oh yeah, Rob and I were now dating. I was definitely the dominant one in our
relationship, which seemed to suite both Rob and I. He even started coming to
the gym with me on occasion, although at first it freaked him out that I could
out lift him on every thing imaginable. He seemed to be OK with that once he
began receiving some admiring/envious looks from other guys at the gym who had
never figured out how to get me to even acknowledge them. The ongoing rumor
was that I just wanted a guy who I could bully around. The truth was that
Robert caught MY eye because he was humble, polite and just plain nice, a
really respectful guy. Although he was not all that into exercise like I was,
I guess the trade off was fine because he was in fairly good shape and did I
mention a really decent, handsome guy? Yet I could easily kick his ass if push
came to shove...sorry....just thought I would add that.

I suppose I might as well try and explain another subject I have been
avoiding, which is how Sharon and I became very, very close. The word
'Friendship' never really did our relationship justice as we have an unusually
close bond which always brings a smile to my face. Sharon's boyfriends always
bristled with jealousy over how much time we spent together and how close we
were, even Rob commented a time or two about a slight underlying flirtation
that seemed to sizzle between Sharon and I. Sadly, when Rob made that first
'kidding' comment, I really lost my temper and got defensive with his
insinuations and he never brought the subject up again. I guess I had over
reacted to his observations, mainly because I knew there was allot truth in
what he had said. I guess hearing that out loud by some third party scarred
the shit out of me. In the years Sharon and I had known each other we never
talked much about it, more like skirted the issue during conversation; but our
behavior towards each other all seemed to come naturally, it was odd the way
our two outwardly opposite personalities would seemingly ignite and spark
something, causing a natural flow of sexual banter and innuendo.

While Rob and I dated, Sharon had backed off of her disapproving stance
towards him. But that didn't mean she had given up. Things with her current
boyfriend Paul were not going well, which doesn't excuse what she began doing
next, but I think she wanted me all to herself. Indirectly, the more time she
tried to keep me around, the less time I could spend with Rob was her logic,
which in turn frustrated Rob, which in turn frustrated me. And when I get
frustrated all those around me will suffer my miserable wraith! :)

It was imperative to Sharon that she and I go out at least one night on the
weekend, just the girl's kind of thing. Which was fine, except for the fact
she was very demanding about the fact she wanted me to dress-up, or dress
provocative. I protested often to this as I liked to dress down, but she
begged me to do it for her. Understandably it caused Rob allot of grief when
he came over one Friday evening while Sharon and I were getting ready to go
out, he always thought I was out trying to attract guys with Sharon, but
nothing could be further from the truth, poor guy, I really did care deeply
for Rob at that time. Mind you this was only like about a year and a half ago.

By now, Rob and I were pretty comfortable around one another, he would sit in
my room while I would dress and undress, so we were both very comfortable
around one another with or without clothes on. But let me be clear...NO SEX
was going on. I was still adamant about waiting to get married first. But even
with the limitations on sex, I still insisted that he get tested for
everything, to which he never even flinched. He just did it (unlike Dale who
threw a real hissy fit) what a guy, or REAL MAN, if you will. :)

I think a part of me loved the way he watched and looked at me. I would smile
at him as I would drop my towel and pull a white bra and thin lace thong out
of my drawer, "These look nice?" I would ask as I pulled them up over my
smooth, freshly shaven legs. And he would always blush when I would ask him
direct questions like that, so cute!

I didn't realize it at the time and I don't think Rob was even aware of what
he was doing, but he had started to become constantly distracted by my
body...maybe entranced is a better word, but that sounds a little silly. I
really admit that I enjoyed the attention of having someone admire the years
of hard work I had put into this body, it felt like a good and flattering
thing to have. I never teased him or mocked him because I think he slowly
became self conscious of the way he was starting to focus on my legs, arms and
mostly the way he would lovingly run his fingers along my abs. I wouldn't
classify him into the true muscle worshiping category, but it came darn close
to that. Oh, one other thing and this is MOST important, Rob knew how to keep
his mouth shut, at least as much as I was aware of. I felt comfortable around
him, more so then any other guy because I felt I could totally trust him not
to blab to his guy friends on what we did or didn't do in the privacy of my
room or his room. That was very important to me, I needed that security on
some level, and because I was allowing him to view me totally nude as I would
dress, shave, shower...whatever, more so then I ever did with Dale. Sure, I
suppose I was flaunting my body in front of him, which maybe on some level was
actually mean because I had boundaries setup on how far things would go
sexually and it seemed everything I did just kept firing him up sexually.

Over the next several weeks and months, I became the central focus of a tug of
war between several people. Sharon for my attention, Rob for my attention and
Tasha for Sharon's attention (away from me). Very bizarre. One tactic that
Sharon began to employ was the way she started to physically become more
attentive to me, was it merely to draw my attention away from Rob? To mess
with my mind because she was really attracted to me? Or maybe we were both
extremely confused people?

Any time I dressed up I would get a barrage of "You look phenomenal, good god
you make that outfit look HOT!" And she kept me physically close, with allot
of hand holding and hugging which in my mind didn't think that much of it
because it was Sharon, who is as straight and heterosexual a girl I have ever
known. But somewhere in the back of my mind, every kiss on the cheek and arm
around my waist seemed to linger a bit longer and soon I just wasn't sure
anymore.

Being as involved in various College activates as we had been, it wasn't
unusual to pop onto campus for the occasional party. Something I hated but
Sharon loved, so she never told me in advance if that was indeed her (our)
plans for the evening.

"Just a little last fling at one of the Fraternity's." Sharon would shrug and
smile.

"Sharon, you know I hate these things, good grief. It's time to move on past
that already." I would complain because honestly, I didn't get along with
large groups of girls and guys.

"Oh come on Corbin, it won't be but a few minutes, we won't stay long I
promise." Again, that line was often repeated.

I was always one of those people that crapped all over plans before things
would get going. But as usual, once I got to a party or social event I
normally had a pretty good time. It was kind of nice to socialize with friends
I had not seen in awhile.

So let's move right along and revisit my first big pain-in-the-ass out of
college, that would be Tasha, I'm sure you recall me bringing that dumb
bitch's name up before. But in any case, if someone is looking to pick a fight
with you, and if they are really determined, you might as well deal with it
head on. Something I tried to do one night at a party, oddly enough, my only
concern that night was trying to keep my short dress down around my butt as I
would consciously pull on its ends. It wasn't that short, but god it sure felt
like the slightest breeze and I would be flashing everyone around me. And the
men...you guys...no small chit chat anymore, they just cut right to the chase,
wanting my number and a date...or anything at all, just to be able to hang out
(Or Hook up, I hate that term). Hey, the fact I have a boyfriend mean anything
to you? Guess NOT, you losers. My eyes kept darting up to the clock as I
noticed that our stay had extended well beyond Sharon's promise, but I was
having a pretty good time and a slight buzz helped with that effort. Glancing
down at my cup I noticed it was time for a refill because the more buzzed I
got, the more I could tolerate the obnoxious crowd.

'No beer, I hate beer.' I was always repulsed by the nasty looking kegs at
parties. I need fine wine because that is my one snobby indulgence. Okay,
maybe I am a bit stuck up in other areas. So while I continued my hunt in the
kitchen I got the feeling someone was hanging around behind me and so I slowly
turned expecting to find no one there because I figured I was just being
paranoid. But guess what! It was my good buddy Tasha standing there, the girl
was all decked out in a skirt, not too short. Her top wrapped around to a knot
on the side of her waist, but it constrained her bosoms that were pretty amble
in size, maybe C cub. So this is only like my second time meeting her and she
is once AGAIN giving me the evil eye, glancing up and down...left to
right....diagonal...who gives a shit, it's a typical move by women with
attitudes, trying to demean you.

I admit, it was partly my fault things got off to another awkward start
because we both just kind of stood there staring at one another, I think both
of us were somewhat slightly buzzed from the alcohol. My normally rational,
logical mind couldn't deny, nor ignore whatever odd competitive vibe this girl
kept passing my way. Honestly, I didn't give a heaping crap about Tasha or her
opinion so I never initiated a dialogue with her, which I think helped cause
this short, silent stand off before the dark skinned girl approached the
counter I was leaning against, and she boldly came up to me to stand within an
inch, shoulder to shoulder, perhaps closer then one would normally stand next
to someone. 'Uh oh she's invading personal space...emergency procedures.' My
mind started clicking off but I just kind of smiled a little.

"Hi Corbin" Tasha finally remarked with her own smile.

"Hello there." I casually remarked, never once turning to my right to actually
look at the girl. That's when I suddenly felt Tasha's bare, meaty shoulder
briefly rub against my own, which caused me to instinctively lean away, thus
breaking off the contact. Being so close I was able to get a better look at
her face now, she had strong cheek bones, her nose was somewhat pointed but
attractive 'and a nice body' I had to give the girl credit.

"Oh did my touch offend you? Sorry." Tasha suddenly spat and I felt her face
jerk a little towards me. So, here we go, this is how it sometimes starts you
know, something so innocent. Now, at this point I just closed my eyes and took
a deep breath before tossing my cup towards the garbage can, not caring if it
hit or not...but I scored, two points...yippee. I could tell Tasha was trying
to sound strong, but her voice just came out nervous, almost trembling.

"What a nice way to get better acquainted." I sighed and pushed off from the
counter. I suppose moments like this all come down to one's perception and I'm
sure Tasha has a totally different take on things.

"Like that would ever happen." Tasha snapped right back at me and gave me
another long, slow judging look up and down. Okay, I mean what the hell does
she want to brawl right here in the kitchen? Good grief. "I get the feeling
you don't like me, or just maybe, we don't like each other." She quickly
added.

Now she was eyeing me hard, I guess looking for some type of reaction, praying
for something I guess. "Really? I hadn't noticed." I shrugged while letting my
shoulder muscles relax, I decided to try and take the cool approach. But I
suspected Tasha was the type to confront any issue head on, with little regard
for how she did it, nor for the potential outcome. Not to mention, I felt like
this girl was used to creating an issue as long as it meant she got closer to
the outcome that she wanted. What outcome that was I could only speculate at
the moment.

"Hadn't fucking noticed? Tasha smirked and from the corner of her lips crept a
smile, and all I could think was 'Here it comes.' My subconscious warned me.
"Sharon says you're kind of quiet, I say you're a stuck up bitch." The way
Tasha said it you think she was paying me a compliment, especially the way she
smiled while she spoke. Tasha appeared to be on familiar ground now, as if she
enjoyed this type of tough talk, and a new sense of confidence and calm came
over her body as she stepped in towards me, her long finger nails tapping
along the linoleum counter top, very annoying. I admit I was a little thrown
by that comment and raised my eyebrows while collecting my thoughts.

"You heard me." Tasha added, I guess just in case she thought I had extra wax
in my ears or was kind of dense and racking my brain for the meaning of the
word 'bitch'.

But in the end, her comments seemed hollow and superficial to me, meaningless
because she didn't know me, so if it was suppose to hurt me, it really didn't.
"I suppose those with a narrow mind and quick to judge, may come to that
conclusion."

"Is it because I'm black?"

I admit, I was pretty stunned by that use of the old race card and I had to
physically close my now surprised mouth. Tasha sensed my hesitation and let a
faint smile slip past her lips.

"You would go there, but the answer is 'no'...and stop trying to pin your
hang-ups on me." I fired right back, but I was over the whole conversation
now, looking for a quick exit. But Tasha stepped in closer and to the side as
if to block my escape.

"So what is it then?" She slowly put her hands on her hips, "Because I know
it's not my imagination the way you give me a slight-of-shoulder attitude, or
maybe you're just a rude bitch to everyone that doesn't fit into your
lily-white world."

'Is this girl for real?' Is what I'm thinking as she continues with her
various attempts at insult? So, I just stand there, not moving a muscle,
thinking...contemplating on what she is saying. I think on some level it was
frustrating her that I was just sort of standing there, like some statue.
Finally I decided to speak, "The problem with you, is that you can't leave
well enough alone and if someone doesn't like or think things ought to be the
way you see it, then 'their' the one with the problem. The sooner you get
'over it' or get that 'chip' knocked off your shoulder, the happier your
miserable life is going to be." I tilted my head towards the kitchen entryway,
"...Now, why don't you do the smart thing for once and.......walk.......away"
I let the last three words slither off my lips because it took my mind a
moment to catch up with what had just happened, basically I had snapped, that
mode I go into when it's time to fuck-somebody-up. There are other physical
clues, like I get very calm. Which seemed the opposite of what Tasha was going
thru at the moment, she looked a little sweaty and hesitated as if nobody has
ever threatened her like that. Well, I didn't out right threaten her, but sort
of took it in that direction.

"I've heard about you, I know all about how everyone is suppose to be sooooo
impressed with you as some *star* athlete. And your suppose to be some tough
girl." Tasha decided to lean in a bit more.

"Well good, nice to know you've been educating yourself." I really should just
shut up now, cause I kept telling myself I needed to make an exit from this
scene. But then it happened, Tasha raised her left arm up and the back of her
hand stroked my bicep. Even with all the tough bravado Tasha was laying down,
I could tell the girl was nervous, the way her eyes would nervously shift. But
still, the touching thing had plucked my last nerve and I smacked away her
hand, obviously allot quicker then she had time to anticipate because she kind
of stood there in shock while her left hand hung, floating out in the air,
probably still smarting a bit from the back handed slap to her wrist.

"I wish you would stop touching me." I simply sighed. I mean, what's not to
love about me, I'm smart, beautiful, funny, caring, loving, generous, kind,
smart, funny (did I already say those?). Just teasing.

Tasha just smiled "Why don't you and I go somewhere...private...to finish
discussing this." Well, she's seems pretty determined, I was somewhat
impressed with her willingness to follow thru on this little endeavor of hers.

But alas, it was not to be.

"Hey guys!" Sharon's timing was perfect. I was in no mood to actually scrap
with this girl; I wasn't dressed for it in any case. :) The tension dissolved
and Tasha suddenly put on her song and dance for Sharon, acting like we were
all best friends.

Great, how do I tell Sharon she has a nut case for a friend. If you could only
have seen the hugs and fake kisses between Sharon and Tasha while all the
while I am contemplating on how to break the news to Sharon that I am gong to
have to beat Tasha's ass in the days to come.