Corbin Part 40
By Corbin
Outcast


"...Misfit, I sit Lit up, wicked..."

-No Doubt

HA! You people thought I had disappeared for good...or something like that.
Well I'm BACK!! With more of my insanely boring ramblings and whatever lessons
life has taught me, while along the way I may have to beat up a few people and
hopefully not wind up in jail :)

Also, I suppose for awhile the well had dried up, I just had no motivation to
sit down and type anything, not a thought, idea or opinion. And I really don't
have to think very hard on any of this, I mean it's not that hard to sit down
and type what happened at the gym yesterday or today or whatever. I also
believe that with Christmas, New Years and a host of other events going on, I
was just too busy to sit down in one place and write anything at all.

First things first...

I HATE THIS FUCKING TIME OF YEAR!

More specifically I hate the gym this time of the year. You see, every year
this time the gym is flooded with new memberships as work-out-wanna-be's sign
up due to a New Year's resolution, or maybe they were given a gym membership
for Christmas...or whatever. But no matter what day or time I go, I have to
push and shove my way thru crowds of people to get from the entrance, to the
locker room and forget about the weight room, also too over crowded. I should
really buy some free weights but I don't see the since in that, I pay good
money to belong to the gym so I use it. Yeah, there is a lot of flawed logic
in that but never mind. So even if I do have many a friend, why do I feel like
a social outcast in everything I do? That's the truth and the reason I typed
the word "Outcast" right under the title of this short post. It's the one word
that seems to best suit me...an outcast, but there is the part of me that
likes that while the other part of me hates that because it causes me so much
grief. My tendency to isolate myself is what causes too many people to label
me as being; stuck up, aloof, well I've been over this before so no since
rehashing it. I'll just end by saying this, about 60% of all the new faces at
the gym will disappear come spring and summer...it always happens that
way...they start out strong but end up fading away...

"Ohhhhh boo hoo hoo, why can't I shed the pounds...why can't I stay on my
diet...why can't I get my body to look like that girl's (meaning me :) )
ohhhhhhh...waaa!...waaa!...boo hoo hoo........."

Cry me a river you wimps, it's called willpower, you focus on your goal and
you just do it, you don't have to like it, you just do it and stick with it.
But I guess your couch and that super-size-helping of fries has more willpower
then you do.

So one with it then...

When we last left our heroine (that's me), Sharon had come to my rescue by
injecting herself into a potentially volatile situation. 'What situation is
that?' you may ask, because most likely you forgot or don't care or whatever!
Anyway, the situation where I have Tasha tied up like a pretzel on the ground,
choking and gasping for air as she babbles out her apologies. At least that is
the victorious ending that I was mentally projecting, so I guess I need to
rephrase the above statement by saying something like 'Coming to Tasha's
rescue'.

"I want to talk with you" Tasha called out as Sharon and I went to leave. But
I was ignoring her now as we moved into a more crowded part of the house. I
did give a parting glance over my shoulder and watched as the girl came to a
quick stop, giving me a frustrated smirk at my quick exit.

"Call me later, okay?" Sharon turned around and blew a kiss in Tasha's
direction. 'How retarded' was all I could think about Sharon's girly banter.

You know, it's funny that I can still vividly remember how Sharon pulled my
head over onto her shoulder and gently stroked my tired, aching head. "Its
okay baby...its okay" Sharon would softly whisper and that was also the
beginning of her affectionate use of the word 'baby' towards me...it was
either 'baby this' or 'babe that'. Which maybe sounds stupid and goofy, but
somehow it came out sounding very reassuring.

Well, anyway, I'm not one to put things off that are bothering me so when we
got back to the townhouse I told Sharon flat out about my 'issues' with her
new buddy Tasha;

"I can tell she just doesn't like me...." I started out.

"Tell me...who?" Sharon had a concerned look. To me it wasn't a big deal as I
casually tossed my shoes into the closet, "I'm just having a lot of
disagreements with Tasha."

"Fuck." Sharon uttered, almost stunned, "You serious?"

"Sorry....I'm trying." I said, which was mostly a lie, I don't like Tasha,
she's an idiot who likes to single out people and then pick...pick...pick,
kind of like a bully if you will.

"Maybe it's my fault." I sighed and sat down on the edge of my bed. I really
didn't believe it was my fault, but more or less testing Sharon's support of
me, stupid girl stuff.

"Don't say that, it's not your fault." Sharon quickly replied. That was a
relief to hear and I bring this conversation up to reinforce the fact that
Sharon has-my- back, so to speak. She didn't doubt what I had to say about her
new found friend in Tasha, because I am not one to make up this kind of junk.
The only problem was, Sharon tended to overreact, go into drama mode if you
will.

"You're not going to do anything are you?" I asked, faking concern, but I knew
she probably would.

"No" Sharon sighed, but her ever slight hesitation before giving out her 'No'
sort of gave away her true intentions.

"You okay?" Sharon sat down next to me and put her arm around my neck, pulling
me in close. So as you can see there was this constant effort on Sharon's part
to comfort me, and I never rejected that and the more I embraced her efforts
the more she would hold, hug and touch. All friendly at first...the touching
that is.

"What's so funny?" Sharon glanced down as I chuckled a little.

"You gonna tuck me in too?" I finally laughed out loud.

"I'll tuck your ass in alright, keep giving me attitude!" Sharon just glared
over and that's when I picked up another one of those awkward glances as I
looked up into her eyes. I had used a little humor to try and diffuse these
moments, but it didn't hold things off for very long, all it took was a
lingering glance and I could feel those butterflies in my stomach, kind of the
way I felt around Nikki (Speaking of, I need to call her, I remember that
thought going thru my mind

So what kept me from making a pass at Sharon? Well, I had this vision of me
leaning up to kiss her and she then proceeding to freak out, jumping up and
shaking her arms like she had little spiders crawling all over her...yelling
and screaming around the room...'YUCKY-GROSS-YOU FREAK-GET AWAY FROM ME!!!'
After which I would then just crawl under my bed to die from embarrassment and
humiliation and to live out the rest of my days as a hermit.

Yet things parted as normal, Sharon simply collected herself and quickly stood
up, "All right girl, I'm hitting the sack. Let's just forget about everything
tonight, okay?"

"Sounds fine with me." I sighed with a smile. But I knew Sharon, she had her
best face on but underneath there were waves of angry tension and maybe a
devious part of me knew that she was going to take it out on Tasha. I can be
such a little devil...hehehehe......