College Years: 7 By Corbin The amazing true story of a girl (that's me) who simply refuses to conform. Pre-Story Introduction/Ranting/Venting/Observations... (Some of the feedback that I have gotten requests that I break this down into smaller ramblings...no problem...glad to :) So, here is the start of my College life; As the quote goes "It was the best of times, it was the... " blah blah blah blah....just read on and enjoy this story of little ol' me; The Quiet Rebel I guess). 7 Both Sharon and I headed of to Duke University that fall, each excited, yet for very different reasons. The big Collage Campus unnerved me a bit, where as Sharon was constantly trying to get involved in new things and thrived on the bustle of activity. I was athletically and academically good enough that I almost got a full scholarship. On the positive side, it wasn't difficult to makes friends, I was inundated by other people who were just as nervous and eager to make friends, yet my primary focus was on studying and nixed the offers to attend several social activities for the first few weeks. "You're not going into one of your 'quiet', 'rebellious' phases again are you?" Sharon asked while raising her fingers into the air to put quotes around the words quiet and rebellious. It was a somewhat direct question and Sharon was probably the only one that I allowed to talk to me that way without my getting defensive, well most of the time. :) "No...what?...wait, what are you talking about?" I turned away from my desk. Our dorm room was one we shared, having requested that the two of us room together. "Well, you've turned down several invites, and I'm not talking about pledging a sorority either, I know that's not 'Your Thing'!" Sharon made an exaggerated roll of her eyes. I smiled at Sharon's teasing, "No, just getting adjusted to the class schedule and all that stuff" I shrugged. "All that stuff? What stuff? We're four weeks into the semester, you're still adjusting?" Sharon leaned forward with both elbows resting on her thighs. I turned to my right a little more to get a better view of where Sharon was sitting and placed my pen down on the desk; "Oh, I'm sorry, am I not keeping up with your time table of events?" I smiled as I rested my left elbow on the desk. "My time table, as you like to refer to it, is nothing more then genuine concern...smart ass!" Sharon paused purposefully and gave me a serious, dead-on look before continuing, "Concern, which comes by the way, as your best friend". I looked away as my face tensed uncomfortably, my jaw flexing at the way Sharon manipulated words. I suspected that Sharon was really just being nosey as I had indeed become very introverted the past couple of weeks, sharing none of my reasons with Sharon...nor anyone else for that matter. Clearing my throat, I put on my best face and looked back up at Sharon and smiled with a faint trace of blush in my cheeks. "I'm sorry, but I was just teasing you, you know?" I sighed. "Okay, but teasing aside, is everything okay? Sometimes I don't really know what's up with you unless I pry a little bit" Sharon raised my eyebrows emphatically. I relaxed a little and my soft lips smiled, barely, but it was still a discernable smile. "Things are fine Sharon, really. You and I are just different when it comes to assessing a situation and deciding what we want. As much as it frustrates you, I have to do things in my own pace." I gave a humble shrug as if it was no big deal. "'Assessing a situation'?" Sharon grinned in amusement and sat up straight, "You make it sound so serious..." Sharon teased my choice of words. "Call it whatever you want." My brow tensed indicating I was no longer in any mood for Sharon's teasing. My expression could quickly go from calm...to dark...to down right menacing, which would catch most people off guard. At this point I was definitely in no mood for teasing or bantering; I couldn't make the smooth transition from being serious, to flirty, to teasing, back to serious as quickly as Sharon could during the course of a conversation. "Corbin!" Sharon snapped, but not in anger, more out of concern, "What's wrong? I'm just talking here" Sharon pouted and shrugged innocently, something that I hated because it then became extremely difficult to stay angry with Sharon when she went into my 'I'm just trying to innocently help' mode. My left hand came up and rubbed my brow in frustration, trying to figure out how to explain myself. Thankfully, Sharon had stopped talking, which was a miracle, the girl could seemingly go forever when on a roll. "Okay...look..." I sighed and rested my left forearm back onto the desk as she looked back to where my friend sat patiently waiting. "...I'm not trying to keep you in the dark Sharon, there is no troubling secret here, I'm just trying to stay focused on keeping up with my studying. Once I feel that I am academically on solid ground then I can begin to relax and look into getting a social life". "Academically on solid ground? Corbin! You've made A's on all of your assignments thus far, what are you talking about?" "And that's all the more reason to buckle down and stay focused, maybe in a couple of more weeks I'll relax, but right now I like having my routine, it's something that I can concentrate on." I stared long and hard at my brunette friend, as if trying to burn my conviction and sincerity into this girl's brain. But Sharon simply shrugged in a nonchalant way. "Okay...okay...I'll leave you alone, I just wanted us to hang out some more you know." Sharon looked away, tilting her head towards the ground. I just stared in bewilderment at how Sharon was really playing up the whole 'poor me' routine. Cautiously, I began to turn back around to my desk hoping this was the end of it, but in a final sigh I added, "Well, that's really nice Sharon and sorry if I snapped at you, I really look forward to getting out soon...I'm going a little stir crazy..." "Great, 'cause so many guys are asking about you, there's one I want you to think about too, cause he...." "See I knew it!" I jerked around in my seat, my face a little tense now, "The truth comes out...all that junk about, 'Oh I I'm so concerned about you' when all you really wanted to do was meddle in my dating life." I was leaning forward a little bit, excited a little at having caught Sharon in one of my little manipulations. "Dating life?" Sharon sneered with contempt, "What dating life? You have no dating life to meddle with, and I was....excuse me...I AM!...very concerned about what goes on with you!" Sharon huffed defensively. "Oh yeah..." I quipped right back. But a knock at their door startled both of us and Sharon instantly perked up, and then looked back at I with frustration at the interruption, "We're going to finish this conversation later!" Sharon leaned forward and growled in a low voice. "No we won't." I snapped and turned around. "Oh yes we are." Sharon replied. "Oh..." I started out with my reply, when Sharon interrupted and called out "Come in!" to the person waiting outside. "Hey! What's up!" Claire came bursting into the room. Claire was an energetic girl, standing about 5'5" with short multicolored hair which had a mix of blonde, brown and black. Even with all of that, she was pretty with piercing light green eyes and a nice athletic build. "Hey Claire." I forced a smile, still fuming over my argument with Sharon. "Check it out!" Claire said and then stuck her tongue out at both girls, a shiny round tongue stud protruded proudly. "Holy Shit" Sharon laughed and stood up to take a closer look, but Sharon always took stuff like that in stride, nothing seemed to faze her. I on the other hand gawked with my eyes bugged out as I leaned forward, like I was watching a car wreck unfold. "Why did you do that?" I said, not even thinking about it. Claire recoiled her tongue and while placing her hands on her hips, looking at me as if I was clueless, "Why do you think?" Claire shook her head and smiled. "You were bored? Pure shock value?" I sighed. Sharon just smirked at my smart ass reply. "Ha ha...ho ho..." Claire replied. "Come'on, take a guess smarty pants." Claire said. "I just did" I cocked my left eyebrow showing my impatience with the guessing game. "You really don't know?" Claire looked at me with bewilderment. I reached up with my right hand and ran my fingers thru my long blonde hair with frustration several times, shaking my head 'no'. "Oh, she's serious alright" Sharon said. "Well..." Claire turned back to me, a pleasurable sneer forming on her face as she began, "...besides 'shock value', there are certain oral benefits to it." My face went blank, "I don't understand...never mind, I don't want to know." I raised my right hand as if signaling Claire not to proceed any further with an explanation. "It feels good on a man's dick when you give him a blow job and I bet it would probably feel good going down on a girl too, might have to try that one day." Claire blurted out in a very matter-of-fact-like style as she stepped in closer, sticking her tongue out, rolling it back and forth in the air playfully. My own mouth parted in shock and I leaned back in my chair, "You're joking right, that's not true." "Here, you want to touch it!" Claire stepped in and leaned closer to my face. "NO! Get away!" I spun my chair around and hunched over my desk, "I'm busy, leave me alone, that's disgusting...sick...gross." Claire just laughed and Sharon leaned over pulling Claire back by my shoulders, "Okay let's go." Sharon laughed. "Come on my little blonde friend." Sharon said. "Yeah, come on" Claire insisted. "Hello you two, I am studying." I sighed. "Oh she is SO coming this time" Claire said looking at Sharon as they both smiled at one another. Claire and Sharon each made a grab for one of my arms to try and pull me from the desk. "Hey, hey, stop, wait...I...I don't think...ok...ok!..." I finally gave in and stood up. "You're not wearing that! Are you?" Sharon pointed at my baggy jeans and grey t-shirt. I looked down and moaned, "Uhm" as I studied my outfit, but again caved in. Sharon may have phrased her comment in a question, but she was definitely insinuating that she needed to change. Quickly, I pulled upon a drawer from my dresser, "Fine, give me a second." I huffed and pulled a pair of black slacks and a white short sleeve shirt from my dresser. Sharon had taken a seat on my bed next to Claire while they waited on me. Looking over at Claire I saw Sharon wink, "She cleans up real nice." "I heard that." I complained. They watched me turn around and pull the tee off my top, my toned back and arms flexed as I slipped my right, then left, into my white linen shirt. Next, off came my jeans; I could see Sharon and Claire shaking their heads at the definition in my legs as my firm round buns flexed behind the cotton white panties. Turning around, I leaned over the makeup counter and slicked some gel thru my hair, turning my head to the left and right admiring my handy work. My straight hair now had a little wave to it and was pulled back on the sides, "Looks nice" I nodded. "Okay now?" I spun around and stood up straight, my hands out to my sides. "Damn!" Sharon stood up and walked over to me, "One more thing..." and she reached up to unbutton one more button. I placed my hands on my hips and rolled my eyes, "I don't know if I am in the mood to show off any cleavage tonight?" I sighed. "Trust me, you've got it, so show it off." Sharon said stepping back. Claire's head poked around Sharon's to check things out, "Damn woman, hot stuff! Took me damn near an hour to get ready, took you only five minutes". "Yeah, but your hair is about five different colors." Sharon quipped and quickly turned back to me, "This is going to be so great, you're first big college bash." Sharon said, walking with her right arm around my waist proudly. I didn't feel so nervous being with Claire and Sharon, I wasn't really friends with Claire all that well, but we both were on the gymnastics team so we had gotten to know one another. But Claire and Sharon were pledging for the same sorority so they had become friends also. Even with my quiet demeanor, I couldn't help but draw attention to myself; my even, solid, muscular definition from years of gymnastics and track, the long blonde hair and looks instantly gravitated guys to me at the party. I was not at all used to this 'forward' type of behavior, 'Totally different from the guys in High School' I thought. Most of the conversation-starters came in the attempt to offer me a drink, refill my drink or talk about sports. Allot of the guys were shocked I was drinking ice water, often pressuring me into something more alcoholic to try and loosen me up some, maybe get me to act a little more uninhibited and flirty. But being one of my first big parties, I wanted to take in all the sites and sounds, totally sober. Unfortunately, when your one of the only sober person in a party full of 'drunks', things can feel a bit on the obnoxious side when the alcohol isn't there to dull your senses. Several times I found herself having to lean away from several guys, that were either just close talkers or perhaps just trying to put 'the moves' on me. I marveled at the way Sharon seemed to flow in and out of conversation with guys and girls, being touchy-flirty one minute while slipping free when their embraces got to greedy. Sharon liked to show off her long, athletically lean legs...smooth and tan which caught every man's attention she came in contact with. What happened next didn't initially register with me as I felt the palm of someone's hand come to rest on my right hip. I looked down and then up, unsure of what was happening as I felt the warm touch track around to the front of my belly; "Are you sure I can't get you something else to drink?" His voice floated into my left ear canal in such a casual manner that I half way thought I should have expected it. But the way this guy was pulling my in close, against the front of his body set off my 'personal-space' alarms instead; "What the fuck?!" I spat, not loud but definitely above that of a normal speaking tone as my left arm shot up and was then quickly retracted. At this point, I wasn't even thinking but reacting and probably not in the most logical manner possible, yet I had never been put in this position before and assumed this person had the worst of intentions. My elbow drove down and into Steve's gut with all of my strength, causing his body to almost catapult back several feet knocking into and knocking down several other people behind him. "FUCK!" Was the only tangible word he could muster, the rest was a incoherent babble of moaning curses as he writhed on the floor, his arms cradling his torso. The music continued to blare, but the entire house had ceased it's partying as a disjointed circle formed around me and the fallen guy. The eerie silence was broken when the Fraternity president bolted forward to help Steve up, "What the fuck happened?" he yelled down at Steve and then looked up at me. "He touched me! He grabbed me!" I stammered as I took a step back, my right foot feeling Steve's plastic cup crush under my shoe. The level of chatter started to rise as a few other friends of Steve steeped forward to help asses the situation. "What happened?" a tall, sandy haired Frat brother asked. "I was standing and he just came up and grabbed me from behind, I didn't know who it was or..." I was literally shaking now; totally embarrassed and feeling tongue tied, I felt fortunate to be able to get that much out as my voice trembled. Frank, the Frat President had just finished helping Steve up when he glared over at me, "Touched you? Where? How?" He asked, but it definitely sounded like a challenge. "Like here." I said and placed my hand over my stomach. "Are you fucking kidding me!" Frank yelled, "That's it? That's no reason to pile drive your elbow into his gut!" Frank's sentiments were echoed by several other guys and girls that immediately began to question and insult my analysis of the situation and most importantly my reaction. I was nothing more then a deer in headlights at the moment, hoping I would vanish into thin air. "Shut the fuck up!" Sharon yelled and stepped between the crowd and me, "Don't blame her because your inebriated friend decided to cop a feel. What the fuck do you expect? To just act like that shit is okay?" Sharon then quickly decided to diffuse the situation by taking me by the hand, quickly leading my out of the house. I couldn't help but detect a few glares of detest from some of the guys and girls as I was led out of the house, not to mention a comment or two with reference to me being a simple- minded thug, or descriptions that essentially equated to such. "Thanks Sharon" I sighed and took several deep breaths of the cool night air, but suddenly Sharon stopped and spun around, standing face to face with me. "What the fuck was that back there? You elbow some guy in the gut? What's wrong with you!" Sharon growled so as people walking about campus couldn't hear. "What?" I leaned back in shock, "I don't understand, why are you now...." I looked on perplexed but Sharon quickly continued, "Corbin, some guy puts the moves on you and you punch him, you don't do that!" Sharon tensed her face in total perplexion. "Elbowed him." I quietly corrected her. "What...the...fuck...EVER!" Sharon snapped, "What the hell was that all about?" "I don't understand, back there you said..." "Back there I was sticking up for you cause you're my friend, but I don't agree with what you did!" Sharon jabbed her left finger into my right shoulder. Sharon was pissed off all right, she felt like I just might have jeopardized her chances of getting into the sorority as well as several other aspirations. But the expression on my face was very unexpected, as I simply frowned and my eyes narrowed; Sharon was unable to detect if I was angry, sad...or what. "Tomorrow, you're going back over there and apologize!" Sharon poked her finger into my right shoulder again with more authority. "You've lost your mind, I'm not doing that!" I snapped and smacked Sharon's hand away with my right, my heart pounded violently as I stepped around my brunette friend. Sharon stood motionless, like a statue at what she just heard. "I'm not apologizing to anyone." I continued talking as I walked away. "What did you say to me?" Sharon seethed and I heard her quickly walking up behind me. "You heard me" I replied. "How dare you" Sharon jerked on my left arm, pulling me around, "You had better stop and answer me, I don't deserve that after all the crap I do for you." But Sharon could tell, I was putting up my walls and my eyes were staring right at her, but nothing... "Then don't..." I jerked my arm free, "...invite me to anymore parties, and stop doing things for me, I never asked you to and certainly don't fit into your socialite world Sharon." I turned and continued my fast track to the dorm. I know it tore her up inside, but I guess the pull was just too great for Sharon and she didn't want to waste anymore time and stormed back towards the party. The easiest thing for me to do now was to simply bottle it all up inside, that technique had always worked well for me in the past, but what really blew my away was the sudden realization that Sharon and I just had a major fight and for some reason it felt tragic but right all at the same time. I didn't have a moments reservation about what I said or did and as I sat down on my bed, the realization of what Sharon had said to me began to sink in; 'After all the crap I do for you' replayed in my mind. That statement seemed to say so much to me, as if Sharon valued my relationship with how much appreciation I showed in return, 'As if it's a privilege to be her friend'. "Were all of my friends back in High School right?" I sighed allowing the worst possible thoughts to enter my head, 'No, no, no' I thought, 'Don't go overboard, one fight isn't the end of the world'. But as I glanced around the room I shared with Sharon, my eyes began to drift casually from chair...to desk...to window...the soft yellowish glow from my desk lamp gave the room a warm, cozy quality. "All alone." I mumbled at the realization that I was 18 years old, in College and still as big of a social misfit as ever. Finally, I gave a lingering stare to the door, Sharon had not followed me back to the room to talk things out...to resolve things...another bitter realization that my 'best friend' had most likely chosen to go back to the party.