College by Corbin Chapter 10 ********** When one is working out at the gym try to wear something comfortable it's not a fashion show, yet I see guys/girls wearing expensive watches, rings and necklaces. What the freaking hell is that all about?! And girls let's make this clear YOU are fooling NO ONE! 80% of you woman at my gym are there to strut around in short-shorts and lounge around on equipment. I see you walk in, not a drop of sweat on your face, and then leave the gym never having broken a sweat. Also, I am not a trainer, do not come up to me asking for advice. I just want to get in, workout, then get the hell out! And guys, Guys, GUYS! PLEASE!! What is with the whole baseball cap on backwards? PUUHHHHHLLEEEEAAASSSEEE!!!!! Take the cap off, so what if you are going bald learn to live with it. Also if you have time to read a book or watch the TV while working out you are NOT REALLY working out, just more people in the fantasy world of exercise. ********** If there is one thing I could change it would be my hair, it's straight, when the weather is cold it's straight, when it's hot/humid/windy straight! Dirty, clean, sweaty it's STILL STRAIGHT!!! And it's about shoulder length right now, a little past the shoulders actually. Darn I would love to have just a little wave or curl to my hair. ********** Goalkeeping drills Defending drills Possession play drills Running with the ball drills Attacking play...blah, blah, blah It seemed like the coach was trying to kill us as we could never run fast enough, score enough, move the ball enough, make the right play. 'And it looks like it's going to rain.' I looked up at the sky, which didn't really bother me too much. The rain made it fun to play at times the game seemed like it was meant to be played in the rain especially when the field got muddy, slipping and sliding around. A big fucking, fun mess :) And then it did start to rain, not much, just a very, very faint drizzle and everyone was getting tired, sloppy, even a little punchy with the plays. Of course the Coach saw no humor in any of it and just yelled at everyone louder, chastising the ones that broke into giggles when they would slip or collide with another teammate. A second wind of energy ran thru my body when I almost collided into another player on my team. My legs and arms were burning and I was now openly breathing thru my mouth, but still there was enough reserves to keep pushing myself and I even smiled because best of all, I had managed to avoid Mora, other then a couple of close calls during the scrimmage. Mora was playing on the opposing team, Right-Forward while I was Left-Midfield. To this day I wasn't sure what happened, but my mind simply screamed "COLLISION!! FUCK! This is going to hurt!" it happened so fast, too fast and there was nowhere to go, at least no time to move out of the way. I shuddered and winced as I retracted my arms, folding them against my chest and every muscle in my body tensed praying I would turn into a granite statue and deflect the blow. I grunted and literally felt my entire body shudder violently, my feet shifted several inches across the ground as a pair of sweat drenched bodies smashed into one another. My ears popped and I felt what could only be described as a bone-jarring impact and then nothing, silence, until a few seconds later I heard a whistle blowing in the background and the sound of several voices getting closer. I opened my eyes, my legs seemed to wobble and then move on their own, taking two steps back to help keep my balance. Immediately an agonizing soreness made its way thru the left side of my body, inch by painful inch it spread as I tried to relax. "You okay?" Bev, Nikki, and several other girls gingerly touched my shoulders and head, flocking about me. I didn't answer right away I was still trying to figure out if I was still really on my feet or what happened. "Corbin." Nikki's voice finally registered but I wasn't paying attention, I was turning to the girl that collided into me turning to my left because that was the direction from which I felt the impact. 'Fuck' I sighed when I saw Mora lying on the ground I watched how Mora's legs slowly squirmed over the wet grass in a display that conveyed agony. "You fucking bitch!" Mora yelled but she couldn't disguise the tell tale signs from her eyes, eyes from which flowed tears as she struggled to sit up. The Coach and everyone insisted she remain still, but that was no use. 'Damn she is one tough bitch' I thought the girl was obviously holding back allot of pain from the way she was nursing her left arm and shoulder, she seemed to fight with every once of strength to keep from openly sobbing, but the tears kept streaming down her face. "MORA! STOP!" The Coach screamed and something told me it was a warning I should heed immediately! I jerked my head to the left, for some unexplainable reason, maybe luck or instinct, my entire neck and head jerked back several inches barely enough. 'Barely' in the sense that a whoosh of air passed in front of my face and Mora's knuckles skimmed the very tip of my nose. "FUCK" I spat I dodged the punch, but Mora had thrown everything she had into it her right fist came swinging around with her whole body behind the effort, but no connection was to be found. I watched Mora's frame simply continue to twist until she lost her balance and hit the deck again. I suspected that had that punch connected it would have been lights out for me, Mora might have broken a few fingers also but that was not likely to be a consideration on her part. By now the Coach and about ten girls were between us. I found it odd that I had a few girls holding my shoulders and arms but I wasn't even doing anything, just standing there. Mora was the one needing restraining, her body flailed as she fought to get at me. "How's your arm?" The Coach was now standing next to me, asking with concern. "Just sore." I sighed but agreed to get it checked out as I rotated my shoulder to check for injury. One by one I felt hands release my arms when it was clear I wasn't going to retaliate against Mora. "Come over here." I heard Nikki say and willingly allowed myself to be lead to another part of the field by my friend. 'This sucks' I thought as a really great day just went down the tubes, even the sun breaking thru the clouds did little to lighten my despair, despair over the fact that no matter how nice or accommodating I was Mora was never going to let up, never. "You sure you're okay?" Nikki asked as she and I stretched out on the ground. "Yeah I'm fine I think just shaken up." I winced as I lay down feeling the muscles along my back and left side ache. The rain clouds had moved on and I decided it best to wait things out, let Mora change and get out of the locker room before going in. But emotionally and mentally I wasn't fine something bad was setting in, in an ironic moment, I felt like something dark was beginning to fill my subconscious, even as the sun continued to break free from the scattering clouds. "What a shame there aren't more clouds in the sky." Nikki sighed, "I love this time of the day, to be able to relax and watch the formations." I realized how quiet I had become and quickly snapped to attention, smiling I lifted my head off the ground looking over at Nikki who remained looking up. I rested my head back down and studied a small, white billowy formation floating above, "Do you see that small one?" I asked. "Yeah" Nikki said as we both lay in the middle of the soccer field. "What are you doing tonight?" Nikki asked, making small talk more then anything. "Studying." I said less then enthusiastically. "Again? You study more then anyone else I know." "Yeah" I sighed, "It takes several re-reads for the material to sink into my thick skull." and even chuckled a little. "Your thick head is great for knocking around the soccer ball." Nikki smirked as she sat up brushing the dry grass from her legs and arms. Just then I decided to have a little fun and stood up first. "Need some help getting up granny?" I teased. "I think I can manage." Nikki smiled and went to stand up, but I just firmly nudged her back down with my knee, forcing her onto the ground. "You sure?" I asked again and moved right next to Nikki, who was almost on all fours now, recovering from my push. "Yeah I'm sure." Nikki continued to smile at my sudden mischievous actions and went to stand again only to be knocked back down with a little more force causing her to roll over onto her left side. She looked up at me, standing almost on top of her now, my hands on my hips looking down with a smile of satisfaction. "Here, I'm just foolin' around." I smiled and reached down offering my right hand. Nikki hesitated, her mouth curling into a suspicious grin as she hesitantly reached up with her left hand. Sure enough, Nikki had gotten half way up when I suddenly let all of the weight from my 5'10", 155lb muscular frame come crashing down on top of her as if I was trying to smoother the girl. "Oh it's going to be like that, now is it?" Nikki grunted as she began to resist more. "Not 'going' to be," I smiled, "but it 'IS' like that." as I began to try and secure the struggling girl's wrists. I worked fast to secure Nikki's arms, I knew that my friend was dangerous when it came to wrestling based on her martial arts training. "Come 'on wimp, is that all you got." Nikki taunted from the bottom. I shifted into overdrive and began to power Nikki's arms down to the ground that's when I think Nikki realized my strength could truly amaze her at times and this was one of those times, "Fuck" Nikki groaned and realized she was going to have to utilize all her ground skills and quickly. There was no way she could out muscle me although Nikki was strong she wasn't strong enough. I could tell it frustrated the girl to no end as her jiu-jitsu techniques were quickly countered by my strength, endurance and my natural aptitude for wrestling. My fingers curled around portions of her soccer top and she found it impossible to unclench my fists. There was no anger here, we carefully avoided hurting one another, but there was this intense level of competition coming out in both of us and we both seem to be loving it! Our hot, sweaty bodies twisting and turning under the late afternoon sun seemed to take on another level of aggression, Nikki's legs were conducting their own attack, latching around my waist, trying to control me, but I would reach back and hook Nikki's ankle spinning out of Nikki's 'guard' repeatedly with amazing ease and speed. But I lost my grip several times as Nikki twisted and then rolled out from under my body, slipping free, she's a slippery one and strong! Quickly we were both on our knees about three feet from one another, both gasping thru open mouths, the friendly tussle had gone further then either of us intended and I glanced around nervously to see if we had drawn a crowd but the field was still barren. Nikki also glanced around taking several deep breaths while nervous, frustrated hands fumbled with pulling her long black hair into a ponytail. With Nik's hair out of the way I suddenly became lost in the beauty of her Portuguese heritage, her eyes and lips so full and sensual. Her face was born for modeling (which she does do) was now drenched in sweat and flushed, even more sensual was how her skin, naturally dark from her Portuguese/Brazilian heritage, was even darker now from time in the sun playing soccer. I wanted to lick the sweat off her arms and legs! I felt a droplet of sweat hang off the end of my nose, I wiped it away quickly as a smile came over my lips, I wasn't sure why, but it felt good to fight, to vent my frustrations like this. I just wished it was Mora across from me and my fists clenched involuntarily at the particular thought of that Latin bitch staring me down, taunting me. 'Damn, get a grip' I chided, reminding myself it was Nikki I was wrestling with and not to get too carried away. "You're going down." Nikki gasped as she took another drink of air, her left forefinger pointing at the grassy field beneath us. Our friendly-fight thus far was leaving the realm of being just lighthearted, Nik and I had so many suppressed feelings for each other that this match now seemed inevitable, as the only way to vent our bottled up emotions. "Bring it on." I sighed taunting with a flick of my wrist, but was surprised at how quickly Nikki lunged for me. Before I could react Nikki's sweaty arm was around my neck, our chests thudded together as I was tackled to the ground. There was another flurry of activity where it didn't seem like we were even wrestling, almost like we were throwing ourselves at one another with ferocious intensity, loud grunting as I used all my strength, but Nikki would use her techniques to wiggle out and try and get a hold, but I could tell her emotions were boiling to the surface. Nikki seemed pretty sure she had a submission hold within her reach, cranking out a kimura on my shoulder causing me to yelp in pain (did I say earlier we were trying NOT to hurt each other? I guess that's changed!), but with the help of sweat and my strength I was able to wiggle out. She even almost had me in a guillotine choke! I could feel the blood being restricted right before I popped my head out. I tried to roll away only to have Nikki instantly latch onto me again, but now I was getting exhausted from trying to power out of her submission attempts! But she was also getting just as exhausted trying to catch me in one too. We wrapped arms and legs around one another and started to roll across the grass in what felt like a final effort on both our parts. I was ready to pass out from exhaustion I don't know how Nikki was still going. I also don't know how the rolling stopped with me on top, but here I was, and Nikki was took weak to roll me off, or so I thought. My legs wouldn't obey my commands at first due to fatigue, but slowly with the aid of slippery, sweat, soaked skin I somehow snaked my legs into a grapevine around Nikki's. As if I didn't think our bodies could become anymore erotically mated, I was proven wrong, our shirts were almost off, our shorts twisted and pulled down, bare stomachs legs and arms crushed against each other and the best for last! Our pubic mounds pressed hard against one another. Nikki would press up and I would push my crotch right back into hers. It was a turn on for damn sure, but I was so very tired now. Our struggle became this slow grinding of attrition, hands and legs slowly twisted and turned. It was a feeble effort but I was able to grip Nikki's wrists with both of my hands and slowly powered her arms down onto the grassy field. It was not an easy thing to do, Nikki is damn strong evident by my own efforts and gasping for every bit of oxygen in the state of North Carolina! I thought I had her pinned to the ground "Do you give?" I asked but it sounded more like a plea out of my mouth. "Never!" Nikki snapped, spit and sweat flying from her trembling lips, her hips then heaved, twisted and turned but I pressed more of my own torso down, my eyes watched with excitement as the cords of muscle starting along Nik's shoulders and biceps constricted with this unending amount of energy, 'How does she keep going!' I thought in amazements as she kept fighting me. I was getting off on this, excited! Nikki even winced when I clenched my fists tighter around her trapped wrist. This proud, stubborn, Portuguese girl under me was fighting back, still twisting and turning. Now I started to wonder how long I could hold out! We looked at one another, eye to eye, Nikki had this resilient expression, defiant and determined that she would not submit! She wouldn't give, no way, never! "You going to give up?" Nikki suddenly asked. "Never." I said and the tears began to flow from my eyes in a flush of saline before the face before me went blurry. But then I felt Nikki's lips all over mine and with a burst of energy she hooked my right leg and arm allowing her to bridge and roll me over onto my back! I felt her breasts press against mine, our nipples erect and excited. This kiss, if you could call it a kiss, more like a wild rubbing of lips and tongues, had slowed to a tender touching. "I love you." Nik whispered into my mouth and kissed me again. I opened my mouth and kissed her back. "I love you too." I sighed back. Nikki then pushed off, her weary body landing with a flop on the ground next to me with her left arm still trapped under the crook of my neck, our sweat soaked uniforms clinging to our bodies like never before. It had been the most exhilarating thing we had ever experienced. As Nikki would later confess 'It was like making love, but not quite the same.' Slowly Nikki struggled to prop herself onto her elbows and I think we were both surprised to see our uniforms in such total disarray. The waistbands of our soccer shorts had become twisted and pulled down from the ferocity of the wrestling, which in turn revealed the upper portions of our panties, bare stomachs fluttered with heavy breathing and glistened with a heavy coating of sweat. I couldn't help but admire the way Nik's dark tan torso glistened with sweat, her strong toned abs moving as she gasped for air. I looked up and caught Nikki doing the same thing, eyeing my bare stomach, her staring was flattering as my abs were the epitome of that 'six-pack' that looked chiseled out of stone. Slowly we got to our feet and headed back to the locker rooms, but I sensed something on Nikki's mind, "What?" my head suddenly leaned back, my expression going semi-blank simply looking over at Nikki thru my tangled, grass filled blonde hair. "Mora, that's what." Nikki looked with a knowing stare and then looked away catching sight of some guys appearing at the far end of the field kicking around a soccer ball, they gave us a wave, Nikki waved back to them. "Gheesh...will you and everyone drop it already, I just have to learn to take it, it's no big deal." I shrugged waving my right hand as if casually swatting a fly and then proceeded to pick some grass of my uniform and out of my hair. "Corbin, she just tried to cream you a few minutes ago! Where the hell where you?" Nikki snapped startling me enough that I jumped back a couple of inches. "It was an accident," I protested meekly. "That's bullshit and you know it!" Nikki yelled, "She ran right for you and ended getting knocked on her ass in front of everyone, and if you think she is going to stop now you better think again! But you're not thinking, are you? You just want to bury you're head in the sand!" Nikki had totally lost her composure and quickly turned away swiping the grass and dirt from her palms. "What do you want me to do? Go start a fight with her?" I snapped practically choking on my words as I walked around to Nikki's right, trying to look her in the face. "Yes! I mean...no." Nikki glared at me and quickly looked away, pacing around in circles with her hand on her hips, "No, I'm just upset that's all." Nikki sighed as her head hung low trying to take slow deep breaths. We took a detour around some bleachers to avoid going past some guys approaching the field, we both wanted to keep talking this thru. "Look..." Nikki took a deep breath "...I'm sorry for getting so abrupt with you." Nikki reached over and wrapped her arm around my shoulder, "I'm just protective of you that's all." "Thank you." I said and rested my head on her shoulder. ********** I checked my messages on my cell phone; One from Nikki, two from Sharon, two from Dale and one from Carla one of the Soccer Coaches asking me to stop by early before practice. I felt a lump in my throat upon hearing Carla's voice...I listened to the message over and over trying to discern any tone that might reveal something bad. I chose not to return any of the messages that night but simply lay down on the bed as my eyes and body welcomed sleep. Things always look better in the morning, right? Well maybe, we will see. ********* I didn't change into my uniform before practice but went straight to Carla's Office. I was greeted with a smile as I entered which alleviated some of my anxieties; Anxieties that were soon replaced with another set of concerns when I found out it was Mora's position I would be expected to step into. 'There was no hiding in the shadows now.' I considered my performance on the field would be out there for everyone to judge...especially Mora, who stared hateful daggers at me while we changed. "Hi girl." Came Nikki's sweet voice as she stepped up to her locker. "Hi yourself." I looked over and smiled, we both blushed, aren't we just silly? 'Oh fuck it!' I thought and I reached over and pulled her into a hug, she hugged me back with equal force, it was comforting. "Break it up you two!" Katie snapped at us as she walked by "You're running late!" she then paused to lean in whispering, "Love birds." And then kept on walking with a big smirk on her face. THE HORROR! Nikki and I looked at each other totally mortified, I could feel my blood rushing to my face and my mouth was just open wide with shock. Nikki's cheeks were just as red as mine, (and that is saying something given her dark complexion!) Nikki reached over gave my shoulder a firm squeeze, "Maybe she's just teasing, how could she know?" Nikki whispered. I just shook my head, we both were treading in uncharted territory and it was shaking us both up. No matter how much we professed our love and commitment to one another in private actually stepping out into the open and professing it for the world to see is a whole new emotional challenge, one that would hopefully be of OUR choosing. ********* 'That wasn't so bad,' I thought as I stood hands on hips as I watched several team members disperse and head back to the locker room. My eyes gazed across the field towards the row of trees in the distance sort of daydreaming. I was having a moment's peace, finally, and then *POW* Like an explosion inside my brain, my entire head rocked forward as my strong neck muscles felt like they might rip from their very base. Involuntarily my arms flew out as I was falling forward, "What the fuck?" I gasped as my head spun and an incredible ache began to fill my skull. I felt woozy and nauseous as I swayed back and forth on all fours trying to get my bearings and to figure out what the hell just happened. "Oh shit Corbin, I'm so sorry!" I heard the voice say. "You okay?" Nikki's voice came from across the field, now running toward me, several other girls were beside me now, but what really stood out in my mind, was the sound of laughter. Some of them were laughing at me as I was helped to my feet. 'No I'm not okay' I thought to myself, I was far from okay and seeing Mora's smile of satisfaction made me almost loose it...loose it in the sense I wanted to just blubber like some baby. Damn near close to it already as I felt the tears run down my cheeks...I was sick and tired of being humiliated by this little bitch and her kicking a soccer ball upside my head was all I could take. "Oh poor baby, you going to squirt a few tears because of a small knock upside the head?" Mora laughed and placed her hands on her hips, "It was just an accident, maybe you better go lay down." and a few of the girls chuckled. That was it, I snapped, it was the first time in my life that I could remember I was seeing red, blood red...death incarnate rising up from the recesses of my brain as I looked across the space separating me and that laughing idiot Mora. "Corbin STOP!" Bev yelled and came at me from my left, but my brain had checked out, my right hand shot out to block Bev's advance. But it was more than a block and I regretted that, Bev didn't deserve it, but I wasn't allowing anyone to stop me as I simply twisted my entire body and slammed the palm of my right hand into Bev's chest, right above the girl's breasts. "FUCK!" Bev grunted and was literally knocked back off her feet; it looked like she had been hit by a truck, her back slamming into the ground leaving her breathless and gasping for air. "Jesus Corbin!" She whimpered and rolled on the ground clutching the area right below her collarbone. I would not have to wait long as Mora saw me moving in and her eyes lit up with excitement...she charged me, her fists clenched, "I'm going to kill you!" Mora growled and this time no one else got in the way, the rest of the team simply must have figured it was time to let this play out. Enough was enough... I saw Mora charge, amazing how the smaller girl was fearless, she so wanted this showdown to happen and now it was at hand. Mora practically leapt at me her right fist cocking back to strike while she simply kept coming at me. I had no plan of attack I just wanted to grab the girl and break her into a million pieces so I decided that if Mora wanted to charge in, so be it! All I could think about was deflecting the attack, fortunately all Mora could think about was slugging it out. It wasn't immediately clear who would benefit; I latched onto the front of Mora's shirt, we had closed the distance so quickly that Mora misjudged her swing and her right forearm, not fist, hit me on the left side of my head. My triceps flexed and I was now twisting my body to the right allowing Mora's momentum to continue, her entire body continued moving thru the air beyond her own control, but Mora was still in fight mode and threw her left fist in a wide arching motion even as she was being tossed aside. I felt totally possessed and felt some amount of rejoicing as I flung Mora thru the air. Mora's flailing left hook found contact on my right cheek, it was only a glancing blow, but still cocked my head to the left briefly, it would definitely leave a bruise. Mora was literally flying thru the air now and then everything was moving fast...faster then Mora could react as she impacted the ground. Her injured shoulder, her left shoulder, took most of the impact and the girl screamed in agony upon impact. My own right hand was touching my cheek as I watched Mora stagger to her feet, her left arm hanging down to her side looking painful but still useful as her fist was tightly clenched. We started to circle one another, sweat dripping off our shaking bodies, Mora didn't wait for me to get my fists up and swung first, her target was my 'kisser'. I jerked my head back, blonde hair flying in all directions as the punch sailed past my face, my eye's focused and found that the entire right side of Mora's body lay open, 'Jesus' I thought to myself as if I pictured the end result of what was going to happen next, 'The punch', 'The effect'...and even 'The after-effect' all played out in my mind. (Sharon's dad was a boxer and had held a few impromptu sessions to teach us a few tricks of the trade; but the only thing I could think of right now was 'Punch thru your target'.) I bent my knees a little and brought back my right elbow ('stay loose' I remembered) and in what could only be described as one- fluid-motion my entire body shot forward and up as my right fist exploded towards Mora's midsection (tighten up at the last second). Every muscle seemed to work in unison, driving forward with one goal in mind. I felt her uniform connect with my knuckles and Mora's body was fit and toned, it didn't seem to make any difference. I initially wondered if I had hit the girl at all, that's when I realized that not only had I plowed deep into Mora's gut, I had actually lifted the girl off her feet! The dark haired girl simply crumpled around my fist and then slumped backward toward the ground, the sound of her breathing was dangerously short, coming in sharp wheezes that soon turned into agonizing dry heaves as Mora's body curled up into a fetal position. I was amazed to notice that my left fist was back and ready to go as a follow up. It seemed as if Mora was trying to almost vomit but nothing was coming out. Nikki charged in and grabbed my shoulders pushing me back a couple of steps "Stop now!" "Out of my fucking WAY!" I screamed and grabbed Nikki under her armpits and I practically lifted and pushed her aside. Nikki's left leg skidded across the grass as she fought to keep her balance, but ended up dropping to her knees. Out of the corner of my right eye Crissy was advancing to also block me from heading towards the downed Mora, but I spun around unleashed my venom on the advancing girl, "You can join your fucking buddy bitch!" I snapped and my left hand latched onto the girl's forearm, while my right hand found and clamped around Crissy's throat for leverage, "Corbin no!" She screamed but I was already using all my strength and weight to sling the poor girl in a semi circle before letting go like a shot-put. Her body crashed to the ground flopping over repeatedly in a roll that had arms and legs flailing, kicking up a billow of dirt. I now wasted no more time and leapt towards Mora, grabbing her by the back of my head and shirt, "Get up...you want to fight, well get your sorry ass up cause today is your lucky day." I seethed and pulled her up, ignoring her screams and gasps for air as she clutched her gut. "You thought that shit was funny, didn't you? Well let me tell you...you're fucking dead!" I spewed my venom at Mora and propped the girl up by her throat, cocking my left fist back, she was doomed! Thankfully for Mora, everyone was there; Nikki...Katie...the remaining members of the team, maybe nine or ten had all jumped in to restrain me, but not so quickly now. Because my right leg managed to kick free and I stomped my foot into the side of Mora's hip with tremendous force, I knocked that bitch back down to the ground and hard! "You even look at me wrong and I am going to make this beating seem like a friendly chit-chat!" "Get the fuck off me!" I yelled and yanked my left arm free, with all of the twisting and struggling going on my left fist flew around accidentally plowing into one girl's face knocking the poor unsuspecting down and wailing in agony from the punch. "You fucking bitches aren't laughing now! Why not now! Maybe because your about to get the life beaten out of you!" I yelled. Lord have mercy on me, I have totally lost my mind, my feet were kicked and body twisted as I actually seemed to be fighting my way free! Amongst the chaos, confusion, and rage I actually heard Nikki's voice in my left ear...it was soothing, soft...how strange and she strangest of all she wasn't fighting to restrain me. No she was merely holding me more like hugging in a friendly embrace, it's effects were immediate. "Corbin please stop." Nikki kept repeating so softly pleading with me to calm down and it was working, her voice and touch was so caressing. I then spotted a couple of the Assistant Coaches running across the field and with it a healthy dose of reality came with it. "Corbin, come with me now!" The coach said and pulled me free of the throng of girls. I suddenly slumped and rested my head against the Coach's left shoulder and began to sob, I didn't know why, but one instant I was filled with total, uncontrollable rage and the next...sadness. I looked back over my shoulder for Nik, she was there, trailing behind me with tears streaming down her dirt covered cheeks she had this look of terrible worry. I know she wanted to follow, I understood now, as the distance between us grew that she only cared about me, no one but me, she wanted to make sure I was ok. Reluctantly she began to turn back to see if anyone else needed help. Sitting I held the ice pack against my right cheek as I leaned forward, wiping the tears from my eyes, the Head coach and two assistants were now with me in his office. Once again my stellar grades, good attitude and athletic abilities kept the brow beating and punishment to a minimum. Back in the locker room I tried to make amends, "Crissy..." I walked up behind the girl as she was getting dressed. "Forget about it." Crissy mumbled. "Look, I'm..." "I said drop it!" Crissy snapped and glared at me, but quickly looked away. I felt my heart pound with regret and took a step back I just wanted to get the hell out and get back to my dorm room to rest. Only a few girls, of course Nikki, hung around and tried to reassure me that I had no other choice but to stand up for myself. But the worst feeling of all was how so many of my team members were looking and acting different around me, 'Maybe they just want to give me some space? Or they never liked me to begin with.' "Thanks for the ride Nik," I sighed, "I think I'm just going to spend some time alone tonight and rest." But could tell Nikki didn't want to leave me she leaned in to give me a hug. "It's going to be okay." she sighed into my ear. "Actually could you come up for a few minutes." I sighed into her neck. Nothing else needed to be said Nikki was quickly unbuckling and followed me up as I somberly trudged up the stairs. I turned off my cell and Nikki sat on my bed, I walked over and laid down resting my head in her lap and let myself cry for a few minutes. She gently cradled my head and stroked my cheek and hair I was so thankful to have Nikki and my hands rubbed on her knees' as I would inhale the subtle fragrance off her body. She started to hum some tune that I didn't recognize as her fingers washed over my head, arms and face. I wasn't crying anymore and turned my head to look up, she was already looking down at me. "I love you Nik." I sighed and reached up to stroke her beautiful dark tan face. "I love you too." She said and smiled, those perfectly white teeth flashed and all my worries seemed to float away for a minute. The oddest feeling started to come over me, I felt liberated...dangerous...and oddly satisfying to look back on what happened. I had lived so much of my life trying to 'play it safe and not cause waves', but now people knew where I stood and like me...love me...or hate me, people were starting to know exactly how far they could push before I pushed back. It some way it was like I was defining who I was, 'I'm sorry people got hurt, but I'm glad I did it and I'm not going to feel sorry or punish myself over it'. ********** I didn't see Mora till a couple of days later and instantly there were many regrets; She was limping and her left arm was in a sling, her face had a couple of bad bruises although I don't remember hitting her in the face...then again, so many things happened in such a short period of time it's hard to recount every annoying little detail. I had a small bruise on my cheek, but it was barely noticeable, once again I somehow managed to come thru practically unscathed. It seemed to only pile on the resentment, more girls' their boyfriends even, seemed anxious for me to take a major spill. As if I was the one with a chip on my shoulder! Are they kidding? What fucking chip! If there was a chip on my shoulder I didn't put it there THEY DID! There I go 'blaming again' as Sharon would say, yeah Sharon your one to talk, Queen 'blamer'! Anyway I don't know if that little fight on the soccer field set Mora straight, but I was never going to let her blind side me again and took the initiative, regardless of how bad she appeared to be feeling. I could have confronted her in front of her friend's right in the student commons, or at some party, but chose a more private moment to lay it on the line. I knew she could have run back and ratted on me that I threatened her, but I was thinking less and less clearly during that year of my life. Basically I cornered her between two parked cars and asked if we had any more problems between us, 'cause if we did we were going to "get-it-on" right there in the parking lot. Shit I can remember that moment like it just happened yesterday, it was so fucking hot and humid that day, and the heat coming up off the blacktop was almost unbearable. Okay as I was Saying when I saw her I quickly crossed the parking lot, but I already knew the answer, it was in her eyes, it wasn't even the same Mora looking at me (and why should that bother me, even sadden me now?). It was like I beat the spirit out of her or something, but she started it you know? So anyway she had this fear in her eyes I had never noticed before and she seemed to almost start crying when I dropped my backpack and suggested we slug it out in the parking lot if there were any more issues to resolve. "No, I'm sorry!" She about choked on her words as her eyes got that glassy look. I felt a little satisfied by the fear I had put in her, I picked up my backpack and strutted off back to class like some big shot. What the fuck was wrong with me? Telling some girl in the middle of a campus parking lot that I was going to start reigning down punches if she crossed me again. I need to get a grip! Not to mention all the crap I was getting from Dale and Sharon now; 'What a terrible Girlfriend I was, always late for a date, spending way too much time with Nikki, and forgetting to return their phone calls.' Can't I just go to class and study in peace!? Guess not. ********** I found myself in a surreal moment, thinking about some of the brutal comments I had overheard not long after Dale and I started dating. A couple of times I would sit in the library and actually overhear the hushed voices of girls that 'I know' personally! Gossiping about me! And Dale! Girl 1: 'I have no idea what he sees in her.' Girl 2: 'Yeah, like I know.' Girl 1: 'She dresses like such a slob.' (Giggling ensues, what dumb-asses! My wardrobe has greatly improved since I started College! I look down at my gray tee shirt DAMN! It was wrinkled all down the front, I must be slipping again.) Girl 3: 'Don't be so harsh guys, she's a beautiful girl.' Girl 1: 'So what, I still don't get why Dale would go for someone like that.' Girl 3: 'Like what?' Girl 2: 'Well she's such a jock. I pictured Dale going for more of girly-girl.' (And you are wrong! And you are just jealous!) Girl 3: 'Allot of guys really dig athletic girls.' (This girl may actually have some brains.) Girl 1: 'But buy a decent pair of pants or shorts for crying out loud, she just rolls out of bed all wrinkled, I don't get that.' Girl 2: 'She does have a kick ass, rock-hard body.' (I'm smiling now and blushing) Girl 1: 'Don't remind me! I guess he's just after a piece of that ass, that's why he is dating her.' Girl 3: 'Not sure about that happening, Corbin's very much a prude and a Virgin, just what I heard.' (I'm smiling more now) Girl 2: 'Oh that's bullshit practically every guy on campus is chasing her tail, all because she is a virgin? I don't buy it!' Girl 3: 'It's about the chase and her looks, seems pretty obvious.' Girl 1: 'And what about her friend Nikki, you've heard the rumors right? I hear she's also very bi-sexual.' (Gone is my smile, I am cringing with rage now as my fists curl tighter) Girl 2: 'I'm telling you guys she is really a wild one, she just has everyone snowed with her big holier-then- thou talk.' Girl 3: 'I guess.' Girl 2: 'Guess all you want but you watch how she and Nikki are around one another. I never thought Nikki would swing that way, never! Wouldn't surprise me if Nikki, Dale, and Corbin have threesome's going on.' (I am now thinking about how these three girls will be found dead in the library tonight, I start writing their obituaries in my head as my heart pounds harder into my eardrums!) That's not word-for-word of the conversation, but damn near close enough. Oh well! I quietly got up to leave as their wild (and wrong) gossiping-assumptions were making my stomach do flip-flops. ********** My mind had drifted while I lay down and scooted over against the wall, my body stretching out on the bed in a very relaxed posture, I then opened my eyes and looked up at Dale with a smile. (I was trying to be a better Girlfriend now, give him more attention and such). "You can lay down if you want." I invited, he didn't wait a second longer and leaned over nudging close to where I lay, not having much choice because the bed was a single, barely able to accommodate both of us forcing our bodies to press into one another. I turned onto my left side and he on his right as our arms and legs intertwined with one another, I watched as his fingers stroked first my hair, then cheeks, then down to my arms and over my muscles, paying me compliments as he went. I then noticed that his eyes had stopped roaming now fixated on my chest. "What are you looking at?" I smiled. "Probably the best pair of breasts I have ever seen." He sighed. "Thanks" I blushed as his hands roamed between the tight space of our bodies and trace the outline of my bra, and it was obvious that I was responding favorably to his touches by the sheer size of my swollen nipples. My eyes watched the fingers of his left hand move lightly over my right breast and I began to tremble nervously, feeling so exposed that I wasn't trying to hide my arousal, evident in my nipple that I suspected he was closing in on. "Yes" I groaned softly as his thumb slowly ran over top of my nipple, pausing slightly to caress it over my shirt. My thighs shifted and pressed against his legs as our bodies softly crushed against one another, we each planted soft kisses on each other's cheeks and lips. And then he made the oddest request, at a moment when I seemed to be responding sexually more so then I ever had, he suddenly asked; "Make a muscle with your arm, please." He smiled. "What?" I froze totally surprised in his sudden change in attention "Are you serious?" my eyes blinked away my haze to process his request. "Yeah!" He said enthusiastically. I wasn't sure where this was going but went ahead and sat up, a little self-consciously I pulled up the sleeve on my shirt as my face turned beat red with embarrassment but raised my right forearm inward while making a fist. Dale leaned in and his right hand touched my bicep "Holy Shit!" he stared at it and then I turned my head to look I too was a little impressed with the significant swell of muscle on my arm. But Dale was totally smitten with it, touching and caressing it and I could feel my own body sensually responding to his gentle prods and squeezes. Dale leaned in kissing me on the lips, a kiss that I eagerly returned as we settled back down onto the bed pulling each other in closer. Our mouths opened allowing our tongues to intertwine with one another and it was at that moment I felt his erection rub against my thigh and I squirmed a little bit, my right hand moved down and gently squeezed his crotch. Did I mention Dale is well hung, I mean big! (Okay folks that's a typical 'Wild' night for me and Dale! I do admit Nikki and I are much more aggressive with one another...uhm...a lot more aggressive. Anyway I'm going to stop right there if I haven't already bored you to tears.) ********** 'If I miss one day of studying I panic...one day of exercise, more panic!' hence the frantic way I was brushing my teeth and even worse it was six o'clock in the morning. 'What the hell am I doing up so early? I've lost my mind I know it. My hair, my lord, I can't remember the last time I had it cut, it was getting long (down the middle of my back) and out of control'. Sloppily I had pulled it back into a ponytail as my eyes now focused on the white foam bubbling over my bottom lip. All the while my right hand was zipping up and down, back and forth in a blur. 'Ahhhh I love that feeling, that just brushed feeling in the morning!' as I smacked my lips together, a smile forming as I continued my stare into the mirror. 'Damn I should do toothbrush commercials I love brushing so much. But am I doing commercials? No I'm just standing here smiling like an idiot in the mirror.' Several adjustments to my sports bra, 'fucking boobs' and presto, bingo I'm ready to go!' Hey when you're a fashion wreck dressing is easy: 1 pair of plain white cotton panties 1 pair of running shoes or sandals. 1 pair of knee length shorts, something light. 1 pair of socks. 1 sports bra. 1 tee-shirt. 1 cap or bandana to keep the hair in place. (Maybe a pad or two just in case it's around that time, you know, of the month! HAHAHA you didn't need to know that did you? But I told you anyway so deal with it! By the way, if I leave the dorm room and anything is color matching it's pure luck.) Dale suddenly sat up still groggy with a sheet over his lower half as he looked around the room (yes he had boxers on), it was early morning and the radio was still playing. Suddenly he flopped back down on the bed when he saw the clock, "6:00am, Holy Shit! Do you know what time it is?" He called out. "Yeah sorry, but I need to get a move on with practice and studying." I called out from the bathroom. 'Mmmm' I thought as I stepped into my room and looked him over, my eyes repeatedly swept up and down his exposed upper half. He has some incredible abs, shoulders and biceps...he plays football after all and keeps his bod in great shape, not half bad to look at either. Definitely has the Mathew McConaughey look going on *whew* don't get me started on Matthew, damn my head spins when I watch him in a movie, or photograph, or hell just a mental image dancing thru my head is...OKAY ENOUGH!! I need to focus. 'Even with Dale and his good looks, I still maintain my willpower. Some areas are off limits to him till I am married: End of discussion!' I quickly idled my sex drive into neutral. Time to get serious and I planted my feet about shoulder width apart, fists planted firmly on my hips as if trying to do my best stance of authority, yet a smile slips past my lips while watching him struggle to awaken. "When do you want to get together next? There's a big, fancy social next weekend." He enthusiastically smiled. "What the hell was that? Are you asking me?" I snapped. 'Really now, has he lost it? He knows I'm picky about good manners.' Dale finished rubbing his eyes and looked back up at me and right away he could see I was not happy, "What I meant to say..." He smiled. "Yes? Please rephrase that earlier comment." I glared, still rooted to my original spot, analyzing every word coming out of his mouth. "Would you please go to a party with me next weekend, as my date?" Trying to give the most humble expression he could. "We will see." came the casual sigh and I turned away to shut off the radio. "What the hell else have you got planned now?" He shrugged speaking a little louder. "I have to see what my study schedule looks like and assuming I'm still on the team I'm really coming along with my ball work." Oh I was going with him to the party all right, but a little teasing and torture was in order. "You can start by helping me out with some ball work." He laughed. "Sick! Soccer ball...Soccer balls!" I blushed and couldn't resist smiling. 'Guys and their dicks, I mean is sex on the brain 24/7?' Dale's is the first penis I have actually ever touched, but one thing is for sure, it looked damn big enough to me. I'm a tall, strong girl, but still I wondered if Dale and I got Married how was I suppose to one day work that up inside of me! Frightening! Okay enough I'm not going to worry about that now I was already starting to panic about next weekends big Social-Event. It's very formal and I knew for sure I had nothing to wear, no shoes...nothing even to start with... Fuck! I knew exactly whom I needed to ask help from, but knowing how things were on-again-off-again with Sharon I was afraid that some blowup would probably come from it. I could always ask Nikki but like I have always said we don't like to talk about boys when together, so Yippee! I can't wait, *grumble*, *bitch*, *complain*, *grrr* I hate arguing with Sharon, she is so manipulative and has been so bitchy lately. "Sorry gotta go." I smiled with a shrug as he was still waking up. ********** I love the summer...actually I love all the seasons, but my friends sometime complain that it's too hot outside...YEAH!!! I wish it was hotter...I love the heat. ********** Well for the rest of the day everything was going quite well, until later that evening... "What?" I snapped in an agitated tone, nothing polite, just a swift 'what?' I was studying and someone was knocking on my door, don't bother me when I am trying to study. "Just me." came the meek reply on the other side of the door. Hmmm it was Sharon and her tone had a little somberness to it now my curiosity was peaked. God what a contrast in appearance; Sharon dressed up in her black short dress and heels, then there was me just standing there looking like I had just showered, wearing one of my soccer jerseys and a pair of grey sweats. How's that for a sexy image? I sat down on the edge of my bed basically I was floored Sharon had come over to make amends and didn't waist any time starting in; "We need to get allot of stuff out in the open, so if you want to say something, angry or not, that's fine, because I'm fed up with this tension that's between us." Sharon swept her right hand from left to right as if cutting the very air in front of her. I looked up just a little stunned at Sharon's directness more so in the faint quiver now moving over the bottom of Sharon's lip, so I tried a softer approach, "Well look Sharon, I know we've..." I took a deep breath, "...we've not had a lot of time together." I felt Sharon watching me, studying me when I suddenly looked up at her, the glistening in my eyes and blushing of emotion in my face caught Sharon totally off guard. "I've missed you too." Sharon voice came down to something a little softer. (Look readers if all this soft-mushy-girl-talk starts to annoy you, then get the hell out of here! Anyway, where was I before I was so rudely interrupted.) "Look I've missed you too Sharon, but I'm not going to tell you what to do, or beg you to stop what you're doing just to spend time with me. That wouldn't be fair to you regardless of how I feel about your parties and Sorority stuff." I shrugged. I despised the giddy/goofy/Sorority-Fraternity world (even tho Dale was in a Fraternity and Sharon in a Sorority). I also have to admit that I felt some odd sense of satisfaction that Sharon was the one pursuing me in trying to mend our friendship. Sharon sat down next to me on the bed, "I'm sorry," she sighed "You're still my best friend, I just don't want to loose that, and I hope you still think of me that way as well?" But a lingering crack in her voice reveled Sharon was a bit unsure. I just smiled and looked over "Of course I still think of you as my best friend." Uhhhmmm that wasn't the total truth, Nikki and I had such a tight bond that we seemed to think as-one at times, Nikki and I were not only best friend (brace yourself folks for this old clich#) but soul-mates. Everything sounds nice and reconciled right? That is until Sharon decided to push too far! "If only you would pledge my Sorority Corbin! Everything would be perfect!" Sharon gave me this joyous yet pleading look hopeful I would cave in. HA! FAT FUCKING CHANCE! "Don't make that face!" Sharon scowled and leaned away immediately looking disappointed. I was giving her my best sour-disgusted-expression, which annoys the hell out of her, it annoys the hell out of everyone...hahaha! "No way!" I said. "You don't have to be so ugly about it!" Sharon's right hand reached over and pinched my forearm hard. "OUCH! What the hell!" I jerked my arm away. "Your so mean to me and my Sisters! Always making fun of us." Sharon pouted. Okay I chilled on my hostility some while rubbing the red spot on my forearm from where Sharon had just pinched me, I guess I was overdoing it and it did hurt Sharon's feelings. "Sorry." I sighed and gave Sharon a hug. So now my mind starts playing tricks on me, as I sat there hugging Sharon I suddenly started to reminisce about how Nikki feels and smells (With her Victoria Secret scented bath oil on her neck and cheek, hair. That smooth skin...God Dammit! What the hell!) My eyes were blinking and sweat was rolling down my face as I sat next to Sharon thinking about Nik. Shit I was messed up in the head, I'm doomed I used to think; I'm bisexual, no I'm not, yes you are....' oh no I'm arguing with myself in my head now! Oh you thought that painful conversation was over? Guess again! Sharon gave me another hug and then stood up, "Well I'm still worried about you." oh shit I'm not out of the woods yet, here comes another lecture. "What?" I remained sitting looking up curiously unable to fathom what Sharon was getting ready to drop on me now. Oh I had many suspicions but playing dumb was my first choice and I am good at that. :) "Well for starters look at you!" Sharon waved her right hand in my direction. "What?" I sneered, I really hated it when Sharon would go on a tangent about how I dressed. "Look at you, you look like some hippie, granola mess! Your hair is too long! And what's with the oversized tee shirts and everyday you wear the same damn crappy worn out sweat pants or cargo shorts!" "They're comfortable!" I reply quickly. "And those flip flops, holy shit, those nasty things are ready to walk away on their own!" Sharon continued her critique, "What is going on! Why are you letting your appearance go again?" I look down at my flip flops and wiggle my toes a little, that makes me smile, I look back up at Sharon still smiling, "Dale doesn't seem mind." I replied with another satisfied smirk. "Your such a smart ass." Sharon smiles but quickly forces a frown over her lips. "But get to your point already." I sighed. "My point..." Sharon said becoming more serious "...If you would spend just a fraction of time away from the gym and focus on shopping." I looked down at my arms and raised my left one out into the air rotating it to examine my forearm and bicep. I did a quick glance up at Sharon's body, but I see what she meant, there was no comparison, my physique was much more defined. Something I'm proud of so I just smiled and lowered my arm "I guess I'm just a *natural* beauty (emphasizing the word natural) and don't need all that fluffing." I said and cracked a wiseass smile. BINGO! Now that comment really hit home with Sharon her nice lips tensed and got thin as her face made a pained expression, she hates it when I pull the 'natural' beauty thing and the way I would flick my blonde hair over my shoulders, which I did right after my comment. "Ass!" Sharon growled at me "Don't rub it in and by the way, I look great without makeup and my hair all done up, so don't think you are the only hot stuff just walking around all natural, I enjoy dressing up and wearing some makeup!" "Anything else?" I moan shaking my head. "Yeah, I hear all these rumors like stuff going on between you and Nikki." "Will you leave that alone already!" I just rolled my eyes. "A reliable source of mine saw you two lip-locked in a parking lot one night!" Sharon knelt down in front of me her pretty face tense with concern as her hands gripped my knees, "Corbin, baby, what is that all about? Is it true? Please tell me your not involved with her romantically." My heart was pounding frantically but I fought to remain seated and calm, my jaw was clenching as my knees wanted to spastically bounce on the balls of my feet. I was spastically looking around and trying to figure out what to say and do while everything was crashing down around me. Suddenly everything took on a whole other meaning to hear that people had seen Nikki and I being physical. My privacy was being invaded out in the open for people to secretly manipulate and gossip about, I felt nauseous. "Sharon," I said, every muscle tensed to remain seated and calm, "Nikki and I are close friends, that's it." "I know you," Sharon said and slowly stood up, "and I see how you're acting and don't you think Dale will freak out if he knew you were fooling around with Nikki like that?" Sharon continued. "Oh god." I moaned and leaned forward placing my head into my palms, it's all coming out in the open! "...did you also know that Dale is on the verge of hearing that something is going on with you and Shelton?" Sharon said in a bit more quiet tone. "WHAT!" Now that did it! I went from sitting to standing in less then a second my face and eyes burning into Sharon's. She took a step back probably fearful I was about to pound her to dust. "Who is saying those lies!" My left hand grabbed her shoulder when I didn't get an immediate response, "Damn it! Talk to me!" I actually shook her shoulder back and forth. "Watch the dress!" Sharon huffed and pushed on my forearms, "Stop grabbing me! My god, do you know how much this dress costs?" Sharon quickly surveyed her straps and made a few adjustments. "You think everyone out there is just all wonderfully supportive of you two? Hell no, allot of guys and girls would love it if you two broke up." Sharon said as she brushed some lint off the front, but quickly looked back up "Allot of guys would just love for you to be back in the single scene again." "The single scene?" I made an awful tasting expression "Since when was I ever on the single scene, how nasty! Well that's not going to happen!" I snapped, "Why are you just telling me about this now?" I waved my arms frantically, "And Shelton? Oh please...we're just friends! Hell, not even friends but acquaintances!" I made a pained, confused expression. "You two had lunch together last week?" Sharon raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "We were at the same damn Deli Sharon, at the same time, and we decided to sit down and chat. Yes I know he likes me but we are just friends...oh my god! I mean what in the world this is so stupid!" I started to pace around the room as my hands roamed all over my head and stomach with nervous energy. "Now do you see the big picture Corbin?" Sharon folded her arms across her chest. "No I don't see Sharon, screw them...I don't care, let them talk all they want, it wont change anything." I sighed and shook my head in disbelief waving my hand like shooing a fly in a lazy fashion. "Oh you're so right it won't change a thing." Sharon, ever the perfectionist, adjusted the straps over her shoulders again as I surveyed the hint of cleavage that rose up from the front, low swooping curve of her outfit and she made another adjustment, "Gossip never infiltrates relationships and causes issues." "Anything else I need to know?" I turned around more resolute now trying to put on my best game face only this was no game, I felt like my private life was unraveling. "Oh yeah one more thing...this..." Sharon took two steps forward giving me a disapproving shake of her head and wags her left finger at me like some mother or school teacher scolding a child, "...no more fighting!" "I'm just standing up for myself." I shrugged. Sharon gave me this sympathetic look and stepped in "I didn't know Mora was being such a pain Corbin, you seem so tense and hostile lately." Sharon reached over and soothingly caressed my arms and shoulders. Damn Sharon was right, I was an emotional mess, "Thank you Sharon I really do appreciate what you're trying to do." I really meant it Sharon was just looking out for me. Sharon had this big smile on her face "I'd do anything for you baby." Sharon sighed and stroked my cheeks. "You want to really help me?" I sighed and finally let Sharon's hands slip from around my shoulders, it was so silly, but I really had only one big anxiety on my mind right now. "Of course, tell me." Sharon whispered and kissed me on the cheek. Now don't read anything into that, Sharon and I have always had an affectionate friendship. "You can't laugh." I lowered my head and sighed into the comfort of my friend's warm neck. "Just tell me, whatever it is..." Sharon stroked the back of my head soothingly. "I don't have anything to wear to the party next weekend and I need help." "What?" Sharon stopped patting my back and shoulders and leaned away. "Hey I understand don't say another word." Sharon beamed, she loved this crap, she loved shopping and this was her dream moment. She always wanted to peel away all the athletic clothes, Target, and GAP crap and do some real dressing up on me. "This is going to be so great!" Sharon was almost bouncing on her toes as she hugged me again and again enthusiastically. 'I should have asked Nikki.' I thought but knew this little escapade would help bring Sharon and I closer. (Look all you men have to do is find a clean pair of underwear, but not us. You have NO IDEA the pressures we are under. But honestly I wanted to look nice, radiantly beautiful, and glamorous.) Well isn't this dandy!