High School by Corbin Chapter 1 ********* I am NOT a writer...I am winging it here folks, so as far as grammar, spelling and such, I just do the best that I can. I am not an outwardly jovial or an excitable person, I do not bounce for joy and get all 'giddy' over things that excite me (unlike some of my other annoying girlfriends). If people are really interested in this story then you might as well forget about instant gratification. Anyway that was fair warning, so if my pace doesn't suite you, then give up now and go back to your other superficial-instant-gratification-fast food- drive-thru life indulgences. All sounds rather self-important doesn't it? Well tough shit, deal with it. Now, having said all that, I went thru a drastic personality change when I was about 9 or 10, which concerned my parents. My mom worried at great length that I might be suppressing some emotional issues beyond the normal angst of youth. Angst? HA! I suppose I was rebellious, still am mind you, but I have maintained my dignity, integrity and self-respect all along the way. Being rebellious does NOT mean you just throw yourself into any given situation with reckless abandon. I rebel quietly, I started to dress and act different, actually all I was doing was dressing 'down', trying to retain my tomboyish ways, but I like to keep my hair long, I never like my hair short! It was just the way my body was developing, Mother-Nature was not cooperating with me. So I turned to clothing, which can offer a wonderful way to disguise your body as it changes (grows). I wasn't ashamed of being a girl, I love being a girl and having a great body, but I didn't want to deal with the way guys were starting to look at me differently; hitting on me, liking me, *staring* at me. 'Come on, I'm your buddy, let's go climb a tree, ride bikes, play some sports!' That was my attitude for years even all thru High School. But as I indicated, I grew taller and filled out, then boys acted awkward, gone was the laid back attitude of being friends, now they started 'acting'; shy, or cool, or just plain strange. "What are you doing?" I said and pushed one guy down when we were standing in my back yard one day after school. "I wanted to kiss you." He said with a shocked expression on his face as he looked up at me, still sitting on his butt, "Don't make that face don't be mad!" 'Don't make that face' I swear, if I never had to hear that again for the rest of my life! I have this habit of making a real sour-scrunched expression whenever something grosses me out. No you goofs, kissing did not gross me out, but the thought of some guy just walking up and kissing on me without my permission does gross me out. So I always insisted in buying clothes at least one size too big, I wanted to have the baggy jeans like the boys and the big tee shirts, none of that wearing the waist line, below the hips, butt hugging pants bullshit... I became quiet...brooding and my smile faded as I struggled with girlfriends who loved to dress in the latest fashion trends while I simply looked like a fashion 'wreck'. I have to speak my mind here and say I am thoroughly disgusted by what I see going on around me...I see these beanpole women on television ads for TV-shows that are suppose to be strong, athletic women yet they look so anemic and scrawny I doubt they could kick down a cardboard door. And don't forget, TV/Pictures/Film will add weight to you, so can you imagine how scrawny these people must really be! I can! And it's pathetic! I think I am just 'old' at heart and maybe too serious for my years, it seems to take me forever to rent/watch a movie as I am so damn picky about what I am willing to watch...essentially I am giving up two hours of my life for a movie so it better be damn good. TV Sitcoms - I don't watch them, boring and designed for the simple minded people of our time, I may pause as I flip channels but that is about it. So called 'Realty' Shows - Oh please, nothing real about any of them, it's just another distraction from real life...taking time away from your life...and my life. Sports - I don't sit around and watch sports I need to participate in sports not be a spectator. I am after all extremely athletic and refuse to waist time rotting away on some couch. My dad, well...thank god for dad, he really supported me thru all of my sports and I think he was so proud to have such strong girl. I was kind of the best of both worlds, interested in playing sports while I could get dressed up (WHEN I HAD TO) and be his 'little girl'. Which brings a smile to my face as I say the word 'little', I stand a hair over 5' 11", which is a curse...I don't like being the center of attention as I am going about my daily business...but when your tall, blonde (yes I'm blonde, it was bound to come up so let's get it over with) and athletic, you WILL attract attention, I mean what the fuck? Am I some kind of tourist attraction? ********* Then there was my friend Sharon, she was unfortunately a Cheerleader in high school and College, why do I say 'unfortunately'? Well because she was not just *A* Cheerleader, but *THE* epitome of that pretty, perky, go team GO! BULLSHIT Cheerleader type, she really believed that her cheers helped win games which helped contribute to her becoming the Team Captain her Senior year. I on the other hand was the exact opposite, at Pep-Rallies I just sat there and glared and those annoying cheers...they grated on my nerves...and she was so damn irritatingly...well...Cheerful! All the fucking time! And those stupid cheer uniforms at our school were a bit too revealing for my taste, yet it seemed to fit right in with Sharon's attitude because she loved showing off her body, those uniforms gave away amble amounts skin along her neck, back, shoulders, and of course her legs. SOMEONE GAG ME NOW AS I TYPE THIS!! Damn those memories of those stupid, seductive poses and flirtatious hair flips she used to do (still does do). At least she wasn't blonde! Our reputations take a big enough hit as it is. Moving right along to social activities... I rarely dated because: a.) I was stuck in my tom-boy phase for years. b.) Sports demanded allot of time........and..... c.) When not playing sports, I spent every spare minute studying, training, or sleeping. But the above logic usually doesn't filter down very well, the usual thinking by everyone is that I was a snob and/or stuck up. Oh yeah? So what! I could give a crap! Go mind your own damn business! But girls never mind their own business. Prime example, when friends like Sharon were not primping themselves they loved to help primp each other, thus I had a major bulls-eye on my back as every girl wanted ME to become their pet project; 'Corbin your gorgeous! Please come over to my house so we can do a little make-over!' They would say this all-the-freaking time to me HA! I think not! Now get the hell away from me! Then I had a lot of people telling me the exact opposite, that I should never 'primp' or wear makeup, 'You look perfect just going 'natural''. Yeah well, call it whatever you want I just don't like wearing makeup or jewelry, mainly because it gets in the way of my sports, lifting weights, and study time. It's odd how life will twist and turn things around, because my athletic, studious, and quiet attitude set me apart (secretly I liked that I think). So get this, guys actually started to worship the ground I walked on! As some untouchable jock girl that made great grades and was the good-girl. But I NEVER set out to be 'looked up to' as a role model. Oh and how can I leave out this little gem of information, there were the other girl's in our schools, mostly sluts, who would say to me "We need to get you laid!" Why? So my reputation (like theirs) can have the word 'whore' attached to it as well? NO Thank you! So as you can see the social structure within our School...and pretty much the community we lived in was fairly complex. But I think my High School was similar to how most schools operated academically and socially, well except for the fact it was kind of small and a Private School, those two factors meant that the slightest bit of gossip could spread in minutes and depending on who you talked to, each 'click' had its own interpretation of who held the top rung of the social ladder. Back to dating for a moment, the guys in High School were shifting into sex overdrive, so hanging out and expecting a relaxing moment or two was not to be found. I have strict parents by the way, who would not let me invite a guy over unless they were home and I would not go over a guy's house if his parents were NOT home. I did not sneak around these rules by the way, because (A) I respected my parents, and (B) I did not want to have to clobber some guy for putting the moves on me. Even the most mature guys in my School seemed to lack the smooth moves you see in the movies, or older men seem to have, most guys just appear so desperate and clinging, clawing and grabbing. A major turn off to me, it was shocking that so many girls I knew put up with such cheap-lame come-on lines and attitudes from these chumps! So if you were a guy, how would you get close to me? Well, a select few were cut a break (isn't that benevolent of me?). Just be polite, respectful and obeyed my directions when around me! (And good- looking, yes I can be very superficial in many ways). See, those rules were not too tough huh? But that didn't stop them from trying something; Steve, Mike, Curtis, Jeff...to name a few, childhood friends mostly, were now showing up or inviting themselves over, trying to sit next to me on the couch, waaayyyyyy too close. I'm looking down like 'my personal space is being invaded here', but I am not totally clueless, the light bulb went off when their arm would relax on the back of the sofa to try and pull me closer. Some tried a little intro line like, 'Wow, your getting really buff Corbin.' THEN they move in for the kiss, or stuff like, 'You're the most beautiful girl in school.' (I literally snorted and laughed out loud when I heard that the first time, hurt the guys feelings a little, but oh well). 'WHOOOAAAAA! Stop right there! You need to Park it!' I would just lean away, and then pushed them away, 'No kissing.' Besides my parents are right upstairs in the kitchen! I slammed the brakes on ALL of that! Guys will try to 'get it on' anywhere and anyplace, even with my parents upstairs. For me that was very- VERY uncomfortable and rude! So I tried to steer clear of as many pitfalls as possible, be a good, hard working girl/student and good things will happen! Right? Not always, those backstabbing, jealous bitches in my school cranked up the rumor mill on me. That I was a lesbian! I got a phone call one night from a friend on the gymnastics team asking me if it was true, I tried not to flip out, that was the first time I remember my temper ever surfacing. I paced my room wanting to cry and go into a fit of rage all at the same time, how humiliating. Those girls were clever, and I suppose to some it made sense; I was girl, a jock and RARELY dated, and did not have a boyfriend. Heck, now that I thought about it, I couldn't ever remember having a boyfriend prior to my Senior year in High School! So like with everything I do, I sat down at my desk in my room and made a list of guys that I think I might like, but I was soon running out of options. My list of pros and cons was not weighing in favor of any guys at my school, this was very worrisome, is my grading scale on dating too severe? I ONLY HAVE UNTIL TOMORROW MORNING TO WORK THIS PROBLEM OUT!! (well you big dummy) my subconscious said, (This is not a math problem that you can solve). But I wanted to be able to have an answer ready for in the morning, because I knew I was going to get slammed by the 'lesbian' rumors, those clever bitches, they always flood the communication channels with gossip at the end of the day, allowing it to cook over night so everyone is worked up into a feeding frenzy by the next morning. 10:00PM !!!! AHHHH!!!!! I only have hours left now!!! "Corbin time for bed!" My mom called from down the hallway. Time for bed? Ha! I'm packing my bags and moving to the mountains to be come a happy hermit! I'm doomed and went to bed depressed, confused as to why I could not find a suitable boyfriend, never mind the fact that I was just assuming that once I made my mind up, the chosen guy, would just fall all over himself to agree with my selection. Oh well, I knew plenty of girls at my school who played sports that were openly gay, so what's the big deal! THE BIG DEAL! I'LL TELL YOU THE BIG DEAL IS! I'M NOT GAY! I LIKE GUYS! The next day was not that bad really, yes there were friends that came up to me and inquired as to what all the talk about. To make matters worse we had a gymnastic meet with a nearby High School that afternoon, so I had to get into my 'game mode'. I was, still am, a decent gymnasts and the fact I was really lifting weights now meant I started to look very defined, which in turn meant I cut a killer figure in my leotard, especially with my full C cup boobs! (Freaking-fracking pain! Nah not really! I have a great pair of breasts and they can be a blessing, and a curse, I just usually bitch about them during sports.) So now the attention from guys was going thru the roof, seemed I had developed quite a following of fans; 'Check her out! There she is!' (Yeah you read that right, 'There she is' from people I have no clue who they are! What retards! Very creepy!) I just had to tune that nonsense out, as I slipped off my warm up pants and jacket. I never paid much attention to guys when at any sporting event, I had to stay focused and I think that contributed to how people perceived me as being aloof and stuck up. I never made eye contact with anyone outside of my team, I was determined to stay focused! Mainly out of fear of breaking my darn neck you dopes! "11:00!" Stacy says from my right as I tape up my wrist, "He's checking you out! Oh he is hot!" "Huh?" I say in my somewhat typical, clueless, lethargic manner, as usual I am not in the mood for any distractions. "What?" I say, 'cause I see like a whole bunch of guys staring in our direction, 'so what!' I think, and some of them are taking pictures now too! WHAT THE HECK!! I didn't give anyone permission to take my picture! (Oh well, big deal, I really don't care, I just have flashes of anger when I catch some guy taking my picture at a gymnastics meet. I'm sure when I do a full split my hairdo is the primary focus of attention, sure, uh-huh.) Stacy was about to clarify whom she was talking about, but then bingo! I see him! He's standing near the opposing team, across the gym floor, and he's looking right at me! He does a quick smile and then looks away, I get a little flutter in my stomach and my insides feel warm for a second. Hot damn, now this is what I am talking about! This is the kind of reaction I have been waiting for! He is gorgeous! "Damn Corbin!" Stacy leans in to whisper in my ear. Amazing how life spins you around, the day starts out crappy and ends with me feeling on top of the world! His name is Erik and we would start dating soon after that first moment of eye-contact. He tracked me down after the meet, before I got on the bus to head home, he asked for my phone number/e-mail and I gave it too him. He seemed nice, humble, and shy and did I mention gorgeous! It was hilarious all the girl's had their faces plastered to the bus windows as we talked. That was all it took to rectify all the gossip, word spread about Eric thru my school. The fact that he went to another High School only fueled the mystery and intrigue, it also pissed off allot of guys at my school, that I had gone 'outside our school' to date someone, as if no one at my school was good enough! It wasn't always smooth sailing, especially in the beginning; Eric immediately broke up with his current girlfriend to start dating me. This stuff happens, and while I would rather not be caught up in having some girl get her heart broken, I am also not going to sit on the sidelines forever! *********** So, how did I meet Sharon? Well fortunately there are people in my School that enjoy drama and I am glad to let them steal the spotlight whenever they choose to. The general consensus was that the Cheerleaders were the snobbiest, socialite bitches to ever grace the halls of this school and the girl's Softball Team were among their biggest critics. In fact, a verbal war had been waged between the two factions for the past couple of years, fortunately 'verbal threats' was the extent of it. It was a hot, humid day...I remember that clearly because all the gym doors to the outside were open and several big fans were setup to keep the air circulating. That particular day I was practicing my floor routine, I was in the middle of working on a sissone when I heard that annoying squeaking sound that sneakers make when one is walking across a freshly polished basketball court. Which is what our gym is, one giant basketball court...amongst other uses. Anyway, I give a casual glance over and here comes her highness Sharon, nose in the clouds, but now she's giving me the once over and I'm just standing there in my gymnastics leotard staring at her like some retard or something. I am also pretty sure that she was trying to make her stupid shoes squeak as loud as possible just to disturb me, 'cause that is what those bitches like to do, annoy people' I thought. Oh and I love this part, she gives me her famous diva sneer and glances away, 'Like what the hell was that?' I think, and then she sticks her nose in the air as though every breath she inhaled was full of superiority. Now I'm angry-and-pumped-up! Because while Sharon is athletic, she has nothing on me in the physical department and she can't touch me with some of the moves I can perform on the floor. So I go back to concentrating and I can just feel those eyes of hers looking back at me now...judging me...as I perform 'Back-in, Full-out' (look it up folks, not easy to do) and I land perfect with a smile on my face cause I know she couldn't touch that! HA! One up on Sharon. Why did I never apply for Cheerleading? I was encouraged to, but in this town, who your parents know and how popular you were played a big factor. Sharon's father is a big-wig executive within one of the largest Corporations in the Country, there was little she didn't receive when she asked for it. But even once you made the team, you had to know how to 'kiss ass' and that I cannot tolerate, nor perform very well...has something to do with self-respect and dignity, I like those two qualities and think I do a good job of hanging onto them :) I wasn't totally surprised by Sharon's staring, I was starting to get some rather harsh 'evaluations' from many girls on the Cheer Squad, it seems that my stellar grades, athletic prowess, good-looks and 'very hot' boyfriend was churning that up the green monster of envy/jealousy. "Just who does she think she is!" Girls would say about me as if I had masterminded the entire thing! Problem was, everyone that really-REALLY knew me, defended me and said I was just shy and quiet! And that I had strict parents (which is true). I guess there will always be people who are looking to tear you down no matter how hard you try to do the right things in life and keep to yourself. Sharon had now disappeared into the locker room, (another annoying fact! The Cheerleaders had finagled their way to obtaining a whole row of lockers side by side, and they were the best lockers in the girl's room. This was another stunt that really ticked off allot of other girls in the school.) I recall a few times that I walked into the locker room and would observe Sharon meticulously laying out her clothes, taking her own sweet time, and taking up as much room as she damn well pleased. This often pushed the envelope on a few confrontations in our school, and that is exactly how Sharon and I met, when things almost came to blows...you'll see...