Warning By The Collector 12 warning signs of feminine strength Copyright 1998 The Collector This story is of an adult nature and should not be read by anyone under 21. Send comments to ChuckSt35@aol.com For your own personal safety, I urge you to heed these 12 warning signs as indicators that the woman you’re with may be, and possibly unknowingly, a woman of exceptional strength, capable of causing you physical bodily harm and/or a heightened sense of eroticism. If any of these situations have happened to you, or if you come upon them I urge you to consult your libido. 1. As you walk her to the door, her hand in yours, and you turn to kiss her goodnight, you embrace each other and realize that as her arms embrace you, you feel a strength in them quite like anything you’ve felt before. It is as though you’re being crushed, while at the same time, her soft lips meeting yours make you forget that your ribs may be in danger. 2. After dating for several months, you make the mistake of telling her you love her. She jumps into your arms as her arms and legs wrap around your body as she nearly molests you in joy, her powerful legs taking the wind out of you. 3. You’re at a local tourist attraction and offer to take her picture. As she primps for the camera, she raises her arm to comb through her hair, and you see a large ball of satin covered steel explode from her feminine arm. The erotic blast from her beautiful arm sends you reeling as you struggle with the camera, almost tripping over yourself. I urge you to take this warning sign most seriously as this is one of the most dangerous, yet most sensuous, signs. 4. At a family get together, your sister decides she has the perfect friend for you. As she introduces her, you take each other’s hands, looking into each other’s eyes, and realize that your hand is being crushed as pain begins to run through your body. Her innocent face tells you she hasn’t a clue as to what she is doing to you, and you struggle to maintain your composure, not falling to your knees before her. 5. After dating her several months, you have your first argument, with regretful words passed back and forth in anger. Suddenly she stops, steps back from you, and you watch as she rolls up the sleeves of her blouse. You notice her upper arms are larger than you would expect on a petite woman. She places her hands on her hips and calmly asks, “Now what did you say?” 6. She’s at your house in your basement where you have an assortment of weight lifting equipment. You go upstairs for a moment, then hear a loud thud in the basement, as she says, “Oh, no, now look what I’ve done.” You rush downstairs to find all your weights fixed to the ends of your barbell, which has split in half lying on the floor. When you ask her what happened, she replies innocently, “I’m sorry, honey. I put too much weight on the bar and when I lifted it, it broke in half.” 7. For the first time in your relationship, you begin to discuss sex. The conversation stays fairly conventional until she cautiously broaches her most secret desire. She climbs astride you, and looks into your eyes, and says, “Honey, do you thinks its OK if a girl is stronger than a guy, like the guy she’s dating?” Or “I know it’s kinky, honey, but would you kiss my biceps?” 8. She is at your house helping you clean out your garage, in which you managed to collect an assortment of junk that you call "my stuff”. While she is busy just outside the garage arranging flowers in your flowerbed, you pull out an old iron barbell twisted beyond recognition. You mutter, “Damn, I could’ve used that.” and toss it into the driveway, where it makes a loud clanging sound. Out of the corner of your eye, you watch her pick it up and her arms and hands begin to bend the bar, her strength twisting it back into shape, as easily as though she were pulling taffy. She sets the bar in a corner and returns to the flower garden as your eyes catch each other’s, and she smiles wistfully at you. 9. While at your house, she decides to go to the local carryout for some ice cream. When she returns, taking longer than expected, you notice one of her tennis shoes is missing. After you both rise the next morning, you turn on the local news. “Police this morning are looking for an attractive young woman, approximately 5’5” tall and 120 pounds, with long blonde hair, who apparently single-handedly broke up a robbery in progress at Binochet’s’s Deli on Dublin- Granville Road. She reportedly disarmed the three robbers, and, if you can believe this, crushed their guns in her hands, before beating the much larger men, sending them to Mercy Hospital. A witness, identifying himself as ‘Wingnut’ said ‘Oh man, I never saw a chic that strong, man. She lifted those dudes up with her bare hands and her muscles popped out everywhere. I wanna meet that chic.’ One of her tennis shoes was lost during the scuffle, which has the letters SG inscribed on the back in pink.” You notice her shoe on the floor, also with the SG inscription on the back. You look at each other her only reply being “oops”. After asking her what SG stands for, she tells you the second word is ‘girl’, and you’ll have to guess the first. 10. She is at your house for the evening. After the two of you finish off a movie, you find yourselves looking for something to do. As you both throw ideas out to gauge the others interest, you cautiously, playfully suggest, “Hey, you wanna arm wrestle?” She looks at you quizzically as a smile comes to her, then she offers, “OK, loser has to do whatever the winner wants. And I mean WHATEVER she wants.” 11. You pick her up for your first date. Upon entering her apartment, she leaves you in the living room as she finishes getting ready in her bedroom. The room is cluttered with her family photographs. You pick up a framed picture of her to admire it, and another picture, hidden behind, falls out, and lands on the floor face down, with the word ‘Me” on the back. You pick it up, turn it over and see a woman sitting on a bed, her beautiful right leg raised being held from underneath by her arm, with a muscular bicep displayed. You hear the sound of her heels clicking against the floor approaching the living room and fumble with the pictures, not getting them back in their place in time. She walks into the room and sees you with the evidence in your hands. She looks at you and innocently asks, “Do you still want to go out with me?” 12. At a local bar, you’ve been exchanging glances for the last two hours with a beauty across the room, sitting with her girlfriend. As a crowd gathers in her vicinity, you watch in amazement as her girlfriend, sitting on a barstool, is lifted with one hand into the air, by the object of your attention. She catches your eye, noticing she has totally intimidated you. Yet, nearly closing time, she and her friend start to leave. You hear her hand the car keys to her friend stating ‘I’ll get a ride’, then she approaches you.