TV Tussle #8: Renee (A Tale of Two Kevins) by BeegBoy A God of Good, A God of War, and a Girl Kevin sat at the commissary table enjoying a cool glass of iced tea during a break in filming. Alone in the quiet room, he reflected on how much he would miss being on the set and playing Ares, god of war, now that Xena was winding down to it's final few episodes. This might, in fact, even be his final appearance on the show. There was no way to be certain since the series ending scripts were still being kept tightly under wraps. Overall, however, Kevin realized he had nothing to bitch about, and nothing but pleasant memories of the last decade. Both shows, Hercules and Xena, had been great gigs. He'd gotten along extremely well with all of his fellow performers, who'd proved themselves to be a fun bunch, and his savings account had grown to a very comfortable degree. No need to immediately worry about obtaining other work. As a bonus, the shows had given him the impetus to stay in great physical shape. After all, viewers would hardly accept a god of war built like Woody Allen or Pee Wee Herman. Still, he mused, it had been a great time and he was sad to see it coming to an end...... Kevin entered the commissary, spied his nemesis at the table, and quietly strode up behind him. Kevin jumped up in shock and almost spilled his tea when Kevin abruptly clamped a large hand on his shoulder and gripped tightly. "So, Kevin", Kevin sneered, "still lounging around guzzling the free drinks, I see. Two years, and you're still goofing off when there's work to be done!" Kevin slammed his glass down and whirled to confront Kevin. "And I do believe", Kevin growled back at his adversary, "that I told you two years ago this set wasn't big enough for the two of us, Kevin!" "Well then why don't you try and do something about it, Kevin?" Kevin snarled, adding, "and it's Mr. Sorbo to you!" "Maybe I just will, Kevin!" Kevin spat in reply, "and by the way, they call me Mr. Smith!!" Both men raised their hands in mock threatening postures as they broke into wide grins and started to laugh as they clasped hands. The joke was an old one. A leading man and a major guest actor with the same first names had caused endless confusion on the Hercules set, so the cast and crew had been instructed to address them as Mr. Sorbo and Mr. Smith. There was no arrogance or snootiness about it, it was merely to clarify which Kevin was needed on the set. If both were on the set, it clarified what which Kevin was to do, or whatever. After a while the two men had begun to refer to each other the same way in a humorous, cynical manner. Of course, after Hercules ceased production Mr. Smith became plain old Kevin again (which was fine with him). "So, Mr. Sorbo", Kevin began as his "twin" grabbed a soda and joined him at the table, "what beings you back to earth, much less this neck of the woods? I thought you were doing your Captain Kirk routine on that new Andromeda series." "True, my friend, true!" Sorbo replied, "But the producers hauled me over here for a meeting of some kind, and they sprung for a first class ticket, so I figured why not! Besides, I'm enjoying seeing old places and old friends again", tilting his glass towards Smith as he finished speaking. "Think maybe they're working your Hercules character into the Xena finale?" Smith asked. "Might be", Sorbo answered, "They haven't really told me anything yet, but I would guess that's likely. What would you think of going up against me one more time?" "I think it would be a gas!" Smith chuckled, "I hope the script includes me so I get a chance to kick your ass one more time!" "Well it better include you, my friend!" Sorbo laughed, "Because I want a last shot at kicking your ass!" The two actors laughed aloud and took deep gulps of their drinks as Renee entered the commissary. She was on a break while the camera crew set up the next scene and shot Lucy's close ups. Her face brightened at the sight of Kevin (the "Mr. Sorbo" one) and she called out a greeting as she approached the table. Sorbo turned towards her and smiled as he stood up, towering over the petite actress. Her feet left the floor as the two friends kissed and hugged. "It's so great to see you, Kevin! What are you doing here?" she inquired, leading to a quick round of repeated explanations and assumptions. "Sounds logical to me!" Renee chirped, "Having you appear in the finale, it would wrap up the Xena/Hercules storyline completely!" "Yeah!" Smith interjected, "and it will give Ares another chance to kick Hercules' ass!" "No, no, no!" Sorbo chided, "It will give Hercules another chance to kick Ares' ass!" "Ares kicks Hercules' ass!" "No! Hercules kicks Ares' ass!" "Ares kicks Hercules' ass!" "Hercules kicks Ares' ass!" "Certs is a candy mint, Certs is a breath mint..." Renee muttered as she rolled her eyes at their boyish shenanigans and wandered over to get a soda. Smith and Sorbo cracked up at her comment. "I dunno, Herc!" Smith continued teasing his friend, "You've trimmed down quite a bit since you left Mount Olympus. You're prime ass kickee material if you ask me!" "Ah, but you forget, my dear war monger", Sorbo countered, "that I am good and you are evil, and good always wins! Besides that, you're not a god anymore, remember? You're just Ares the mortal. Now that's prime ass kickee potential, and trimmer or not, I still have my guns!" As he finished, Sorbo raised the sleeve of his tee shirt and flexed his arm, displaying a very impressive biceps. True, it was a bit smaller than during his Hercules days, but still hard and massive when compared to any average man in the street. "You've gotten so small and puny!" Smith said mockingly, "While my role has kept me clearly in superb condition!" Smith, dressed for filming in his Ares outfit, flexed both his arms to display mounds of solid biceps for his friend. Over by cooler, Renee took a soda and glanced back at the table, observing them with a happy grin. "Just like the old days!" she thought to herself, "Soon they'll ask me to go find a measuring tape!" Listening to the two men's good natured bickering brought back happy memories that improved her already good mood. She sipped the soda and began walking back to the table just in time to hear a fresh round of who would kick whose ass. "I'll kick your ass!" Smith declared. "I'll kick your ass!" Sorbo protested. "No! I'll kick your a........", Smith's voice trailed off as he grinned at Sorbo and abruptly put his arm up on the table, "Let's do it!" "You're on!" Sorbo replied with a smile as he put up his own arm and the two men clasped hands again, but this time not in a handshake. "Well", Renee mused to herself as she sat down to watch, "That took them all of five minutes!" "Go ahead and start!" Smith goaded. "Oh, no!" Sorbo chuckled, "Good always lets evil make the first move!" "You start!" Smith demanded. "No, you start!" Sorbo countered. They stared at each other, paused briefly, then they both looked at Renee. She looked back at the two men and shrugged, her quizzical expression slowly changing to one of comprehension. "Oh, for crying out loud", she sighed, "GO!" The table trembled as the two men launched into their contest. It was all in fun, of course, but that didn't mean they weren't both going to do their damnedest to win. Kevin and Kevin fixed each other with friendly sneers as their forearms quivered in strain and slowly moved back and forth from the starting position, each combatant never gaining more than an inch or two before his opponent pulled him back. "That all you got?" Smith teased through clenched teeth. "Just getting started!" Sorbo croaked back, "My, my, is that sweat I see on your brow already?" "In your dreams, dude, I could do this all day!" "And I'll stay with you, all day and all night! Hell, except for sex, this is my favorite way to pass the time!" Sorbo replied. "It's all I live for!" Smith shot back. "Incredible!" Renee giggled, "and you make fun of us women because we like to go shopping!" "Ah, but there's no victory in shopping, my dear!" Kevin said to her (no, I don't know which Kevin said it, but one of them did). "Ah, how little you know!" Renee told him, "You've never grabbed hold of a blouse on a sale table the same time as another woman. Now there's a battle! And to the victor goes the blouse, all you'll win here is bragging rights until your next contest!" "Yes, but grand bragging rights they are, right Kevin?" Kevin asked Kevin. "Most certainly, Kevin!" Kevin replied, then addressed Renee, "It's a macho thing, clearly beyond the comprehension of the feminine mind!" "I'd still rather have the new blouse!" Renee declared with a cynical grin. The situation was disrupted by a rapid series of electronic tones emitting from the beeper on the belt of Smith's Ares costume. "Ah, crap, they need me on the set!" Smith announced, "Guess you get a reprieve, old man!" "The mighty God of War saved from defeat by his beeper, how positively medieval, not!" Sorbo snickered. The men rose slowly, keeping their hands clasped firmly as their elbows left the table, still playfully fighting as they stood erect. Finally, they emitted mutual mock snarls of contempt as they released hands and Smith stepped away from the table. "Later, guys!" he said to Renee and Kevin as he gave them a friendly salute and exited the studio canteen, leaving them alone in the otherwise deserted room. "There really was a little sweat on his brow!" Kevin snickered to Renee with a sideways glance. "Well, 'Hercules', my dear", she retorted, "your forehead isn't exactly bone dry, either!" Sorbo looked at her with a perplexed expression as he reached up, felt his head, and detected the slick feel of perspiration. "Son-of-a-bitch!" he muttered, "guess I am getting older!" "Yeah!" Renee teased, "If you ever fight a woman for a blouse I know who I'll put my money on!" "Very droll, my dear", Kevin replied, "but I doubt very much that a woman's blouse would fit me. Besides, I prefer my big, roomy Hercules' shirts!" "They are nifty", she agreed, "in fact it would really make a great night shirt for someone my size now that I think of it - can you get me one?" "Oh, so now you want one of my 'blouses', do you?" Kevin laughed. "Pretty please with sugar on it!" Renee pleaded with a smile as she fluttered her eyelids at him. "HA!" Kevin snorted, "You'll not get my shirt with your girlish sugar and spice tricks, but through the manly art of physical challenge!" As he said this, Kevin placed his elbow back up on the table in arm-wrestling position, to which Renee reacted by looking at him in total, amused disbelief. "Are you crazy!" she cried, "Or do you think that I am!" "I thought you wanted a shirt?" Kevin asked smugly. "I do", Renee admitted, "but I'm also committed to keeping my arm attached to my body! Xena wouldn't have much use for a one-armed sidekick!" "Not to worry!" Kevin teased, "Hercules would never hurt the innocent or the puny. Besides, who knows, maybe he'll give you a shirt just for trying your best!" "I'm years beyond innocent, guy!" Renee chortled, "and while I'm certainly not in your league I assure you that I'm also far beyond 'puny'!" Despite her soft, petite appearance, Renee did consider herself to be in good shape and, in fact, she was. The schedule of physical workouts she'd followed since getting the part of Gabrielle had improved her level of fitness considerably, and she felt stronger than she ever had before. Nonetheless, the arm on the table before her looked more like her thigh; even Kevin's wrist probably measured a good inch thicker than her own upper arm. "I hear words but I don't see actions!" Kevin sneered as he wiggled the fingers of his hand in her face, "Well, I guess you can always bid for one of my shirts on eBay!" "Gimme one! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme one!" she pleaded in her best phony sweet voice. "Puny! Puny! Puny! Peee-uuunnn-eeeyyy!" Kevin zapped back as he continued wiggling his fingers. A sigh of exasperation escaped Renee's lips as she abruptly rose up from her seat and settled into the one directly across from her large, powerful opponent. Her upper lip raised to expose her teeth in a mock snarl as she crunched her nose and squinted her eyes down to narrow slits. She plopped her elbow down on the table and extended her open hand towards Kevin. "Alright, Mr. Mighty, let's do it!" she growled. "You really wanna try this?" he laughed aloud as he clasped hands with her, her tiny hand virtually disappearing inside his large one. "There's a piece of clothing at stake!" Renee declared, "An item any woman worth her salt will fight her damnedest for! Besides, you said I only had to try, not win!" she added with a determined tone, "So I win even when I lose!" "Good heaven's!" Kevin teased and rolled his eyes, "I hope I haven't gotten in over my head!" "Just say go, beefsteak, and prepare for battle!" she replied. "Only if you promise not to hurt me!" Sorbo tittered. "CALL IT!" Renee demanded, "Momma wants a new nightshirt!" The pair firmed up their grips. Kevin was naturally careful not to squeeze Renee's hand too tightly and, to be honest, found he was actually impressed by the firmness of her grip. His petite gal pal had indeed been working out, and it showed. She had a visible healthy glow and her skin was that perfect balance of fleshy pink and bronze tan that Kevin preferred in women; he hated the pasty, pale alabaster skin tone too many females seemed to prefer these days. True, Renee was hefty and fit, but of course there was no way she could actually hope to compete with him physically on a serious level. This was all in good fun. "GO!" he whispered softly, and they were off. Kevin exerted gently pressure and Renee's arm began going down in immediate response. He felt the force of her resistance against him and countered it easily, being careful not to hurt her by applying too much strength to the contest. Her arm continued to descend at a slow, steady pace as she yielded to his apparently superior strength. "Hmmph, no shirt for you my love!" Kevin sneered at his female opponent. "Hey!" Renee protested, "You said I only had to try and you'd give me one!" "Quite true, quite true!" he conceded, "But it hardy feels as if you're trying at all!" As he spoke, he gently continued taking her arm down. He now had her halfway down to the table. "Oh, like it would really matter!" she laughed. "Quite true again!" he agreed, "Still, a puny challenge would be more noble than no challenge at all, and you are no challenge at all!" Renee snarled, clenched her teeth, and applied an extra burst of power into her resisting arm. For a few seconds she fantasized what it would be like to really be as strong, or stronger, as the man sitting across from her; to see the perplexed, confused look on his face when he found himself unable to pin her 'puny' little arm! Actually, she recalled a time when that almost did happen. She remembered being an athletic, teenage cheerleader still in high school, with long, strawberry blonde hair flowing over her shapely shoulders. It was a family picnic, and her uncle had jokingly challenged her to arm-wrestle for the last ear of corn and she accepted. Renee remembered how their arms had moved back and forth from the starting position, each of them gaining and losing a few inches in each direction. Her uncle's expression showed he was straining against her at an ever increasing pace, but she remembered not really straining that much at all. His eyes widened and glazed over as she slowly began to gain the advantage and felt his strength fading. But, just as she began to relish the experience, her mother broke up the competition by claiming she needed to clear the table. Her uncle avoided her for the rest of the day, and from that time on had always looked at her with a somewhat awed gaze. Had she been on the brink of actually beating him? Was it possible she, a girl of fifteen, was stronger than a grown man? She had wondered at the time, but never bothered to investigate further and eventually the memory faded. Now, as she sat in the commissary battling her male co-star and friend, the memory resurfaced and came into sharp focus. Kevin had noticed the difference with a degree of admiration. He was still only applying mild force against Renee's arm, but his steady progress had abruptly halted, indicating that she had decided to put more effort into the game. He nodded his head slightly in acknowledgment and smiled as he increased the level of power he was using to continue forcing her arm down, but, to his genuine surprise, her arm successfully resisted and held its ground. "Son-of-a-bitch...", he thought to himself (and almost muttered aloud), "she's a feisty little thing after all!" Kevin pushed harder still and Renee's arm slowly began to move down again, but he was astonished to realize that he was actually beginning to strain a bit. He was winning, but he was also working far harder for the victory than he'd expected; and his progress was surprisingly slow - her arm wasn't yielding quickly. It was then he noticed the change in her magnificent arm. Unlike he might have expected, her biceps did not bulge or rise to a prominent degree. Instead, her entire upper arm, from the elbow up to the shoulder, seemed to swell and thicken. Her arm now appeared plump, rounded, and several inches larger than it had when the contest started, managing to remain soft and feminine looking despite the incredible strength it was generating. It didn't look freakish or unpleasant, just a bit out of proportion with the rest of her body. It was now nearly as thick as Kevin's forearm, but still dwarfed in comparison to his own beefy upper limb. Dwarfed in size perhaps, but apparently not in power. A mild grunt escaped Renee's throat as she put forth another burst of power and managed to halt Kevin's progress for a second time, which resulted in an audible gasp of disbelief from the huge man. He glanced quickly at her face but she didn't return his look, instead keeping her eyes firmly on their clasped hands with an expression of fixed determination. He took a quick, deep breath and pushed against her arm again, quickly gaining another inch in what was rapidly turning into a genuine battle. Renee grunted as she answered his action with another burst of power, and Kevin's jaw dropped open when she actually won back the inch he had just taken! His eyes told him what his bewildered mind still couldn't quite accept, she had genuinely forced his massive arm back up! He had been impressed when he'd felt the firm grip of her hand, and he'd admired the level of resistance she'd managed to give him once she really started trying, but this - this was inconceivable! Pinning her arm should have been a joke, a piece of cake for a man as big and powerful as he, yet now he found himself actually struggling to force her arm down. Worst, and most unbelievable, of all, she had forced his arm back up and regained some ground from him. This wasn't possible, it just wasn't possible!! "What the hell......", he gasped, still looking at Renee, "I can't believe this!" "I'm not sure I can, either", she replied as she raised her eyes to look into his, "but I'm loving every emancipating second of it!" The two fell silent, except for low gasps and grunts, as they resumed their struggle. A person seeing them from across the room would have been perplexed by the sight. Kevin was so large and Renee so petite it almost appeared like he was battling a small girl, and having a ridiculously difficult time of it. He shot forth another burst of power and took her down an inch; she replied in kind and again won the inch back. This was repeated over and over several times. Kevin couldn't understand what was happening. Not only was her physical strength far beyond what her appearance would suggest, but her reserves and endurance seemed endless. Renee was just as astonished but delighted with what was happening. She initially didn't think she could even give him a decent challenge. Now, for the first time she allowed herself to ponder, 'could I win - could I actually win?'. They continued struggling, gaining and losing an inch, gaining and losing an inch, each trying to wear the other down. As intense as their contest was, Kevin showed the strain far more than Renee did. By now heavy beads of sweat were pouring down his face and his shoulders and chest were slick with perspiration. His teeth were clenched tightly and his breath was fast and shallow. On the other hand, Renee appeared cool and dry. Her tightly pressed lips and determined facial expression betrayed nowhere near the degree of strain his face did. Was it her imagination, or did his strength seem to be fading? Kevin gave another powerful surge of force and Renee's arm again moved an inch closer to the table, but when she pushed back she didn't regain the inch he had taken. She regained two. The stunned man looked at their clasped hands and pushed yet again, taking her powerful arm back down an inch, but she pushed back yet again and regained another two inches. The back and forth battle continued, but with each cycle Renee reclaimed more and more distance until, with a squeal of feminine joy, she had forced Kevin's mighty arm back to the starting position. "No, no!" he whined in a hoarse whisper, "No, no, NO!" "Yes, yes, YES!" she whispered back, only the slightest trace of effort in her voice. "This is getting silly, I don't want to hurt you!" Kevin protested as he tried to disengage their hands; but Renee held onto him tightly, refusing to let him withdraw. "Don't worry about hurting me!" she informed him in a steady tone of voice, "We've come too far to end this now, Kevin. I have to see it through, I have to know!" Then, she drew in a deep breath and pushed against Kevin's arm even harder, forcing it down several inches in a single motion. He resisted and halted her progress, but was clearly unable to reverse the gain she'd made. Renee realized that she didn't need all her strength to fend him off, so she allowed herself to relax, putting forth just enough power to hold his arm halfway down to defeat. Kevin made several attempts to force her soft, thick arm back up. He alternated between brief, jerking attempts and extended applications of steady pressure, but all of them proved to be in vain. She casually held his arm where it was, feeling his power continue to drain with each try. She watched his struggles with mixed feelings of sympathy and fascination, but her overwhelming emotion was one of joyous confidence. "OK, big guy", she said in a remarkably calm tone, "let's finish this." As she finished speaking, Renee pushed against Kevin's arm again and he resisted with all his remaining strength. He held her off for several seconds out of sheer desperation, but she sensed his power was spent. With strength to spare, she gave a modest increase in effort and drained his final reserves as she slammed his arm down to the table with a solid thump. She stared at their hands for a few seconds, still not quite sure she could believe what she had managed to do. Then, she released his hand as she brought both her hands to her mouth. "I did it, I did it, I beat you!" she gasped through her hands, the amazement in her voice was genuine, "My God, Kevin, I beat you! I'm stronger than you!" "Huh, what?" he muttered, as he continued staring at his hand on the table with a dazed, confused look on his face. His eyes cleared as he slowly returned to reality and confronted the undeniable truth. "Jesus, Renee", he croaked, "how can that be, how?" She had no answer to give, and the two briefly sat there in total silence reflecting on how their relationship, self-image, and self-confidence had been drastically altered in a period of less than five minutes. Kevin looked at the petite female who had just beaten him in a test of physical strength. She was so small, so completely feminine. Even her arm had returned to its original shape, still tanned and hefty but nowhere near as thick and rounded as it had become during the match. Where were the powerful muscles that had defeated him hiding? How could someone that size, and a woman to boot, possibly be that strong? Renee, while happy (actually more like delighted), was equally intrigued by the turn of events. Kevin's arms were nearly the size of her thighs, and if a person standing on her head they would still need to step up onto his shoulder. True, she'd never even given a thought to trying to compete physically with a man like Kevin before today, but if she had she'd have been certain he could snap her like a twig. Was he just having an off day or was he maybe coming down with something? He had muscles everywhere she looked, everywhere. How could she possibly be stronger than him? Was she stronger than him because he was abnormally weak or because she was abnormally strong? What was normal or abnormal for that matter? But men were naturally stronger than women, weren't they? Their mutual, silent pondering was ended when a small hand gently tapped Kevin on the shoulder, to which he responded by jumping nearly two feet out of his chair. The woman who had tapped him likewise staggered back a few steps. "Sorry, Mr. Sorbo, I didn't mean to startle you!" the secretary said apologetically, "But the producers are ready for the meeting so they sent me to find you." Kevin regained his composure and muttered a quick "Thanks" to the woman, who quickly exited the commissary as quietly as she had entered, catching both he and Renee off guard while they were lost in thought. "Well, guess I gotta go, Renee, take care", he spoke, clearly trying to hide his embarrassment as he turned away. "Bye, Kevin" she replied, then called out to him, "Kevin!" He stopped and turned to face her. Renee wasn't sure what she wanted to say to him. Should she apologize or say something encouraging to sooth his ego? Should she try to make light of the situation? She was happy about winning but distressed by the sullen, defeated look on her friend's face. In the end she couldn't find the words, it had all happened too fast, so damned fast. "See you soon!" was all she could manage in somber tone, though it sounded as much like a question as a statement. "Yeah, sure!" Kevin replied weakly as he turned away again and walked towards the doorway. Just as he stepped through he nearly collided with his namesake, the "other" Kevin, in the hallway. "Hey guy, what's the rush, we have unfinished business!" Kevin teased his friend cheerfully. "Huh? Uh, uh, yeah, oh yeah", Kevin replied with a distracted, faraway gaze in his eyes, "uh, yeah, well, sorry but I've got a meeting, catch you later....." Sorbo continued on down the hall, wishing he could leave the memory of his recent humiliation in the commissary with Renee. Smith stood just outside the doorway and watched his friend rush away down the hall, wondering what the hell was bothering him. Sorbo's departure had bordered on being downright brusque, but Smith took no offense. Actor's were a funny bunch at times as he well knew, being one himself. Still, he pondered as he entered the commissary that Sorbo had been his normal self just ten minutes ago - whatever happened had been very recent. He spied Renee still sitting at the table and waved as he approached and sat down across from her where Sorbo had been. Maybe she could shed some light on the situation. "You're back fast!" Renee mentioned quizzically. "Yeah!" Kevin replied, "It looks like rain so they decided to do interior shots instead. They need another half hour or so to get set up." "Oh...." she responded, "I see." Kevin couldn't help but detect a subtle, strange element in the tone of her voice. He'd known her and Sorbo for years and was now convinced that something had transpired in here that affected their moods - but what? He decided not to broach the subject directly but to ease into it, so he began with general conversation. "Did you see him race outta here?!" he joked, "He was afraid I was coming back to finish our match and he knew I'd take him down!" As he spoke, Kevin put his elbow up on the table and made arm-wrestling gestures. His actions snapped Renee to attention. "What, what was that?" she asked, her eyes fixed on the powerful arm before her. "Our contest, remember? He and I were arm-wrestling when I was called away, and when I returned he ran off before we could get back down to it!" he explained, "Guess that proves he knows who the strongest person in this room is!" Renee heard Kevin's words as she continued gazing at his arm up on the table, making her still look a bit distracted though she was paying attention. Her thoughts did drift off a bit, however, as she continued gazing it. Kevin's arm certainly looked every bit as muscular and powerful as the other Kevin's had, and he was just as cocky about his strength, perhaps more so. Renee again thought about how she had beaten the other man, wondered again if, despite their mutual appearances, he was the weak one or she was the strong one. She reached up with her left hand and felt for the biceps on her right arm, finding only the expected soft bulge under her smooth skin. Was it a fluke or was it the norm? Kevin's arm was still up on the table but he was about to drop it down to his thigh. She decided this was as good a time to find out as any. "Well", Kevin continued speaking, "I can always catch up with him next time and......" He abruptly stopped speaking when Renee, without saying a word, suddenly sat forward, put her right arm up on the table, and clasped his hand tightly. "Uh, what's this?" he asked in an amused tone. "I believe you just said something about being the strongest person in this room", she challenged in a whimsical voice, "I just wanna help you prove it!" "You can't be serious!" Kevin laughed aloud, "What have you been mixing with that soda you're drinking, little lady?" "Oh, now who's afraid, hmmmmm?" she teased him. "You are a certified nut!" he replied with good humor, "Something like this is only fun when it's a real challenge, babe, and besides, I'd feel terrible afterwards every time I saw your arm in the sling!" As he finished talking Kevin attempted to pull his hand free of Renee's, but, just as she had with Kevin before him, she held on tightly, refusing to release him. The man's eyebrows arched in genuine surprise. He had to admit she had one hell of a grip; maybe she played a lot of tennis, but her offer to take him on was ludicrous nonetheless. "Come on, tough guy!" she cooed, "What are you afraid of?" "You're serious? You really wanna do this?" Kevin asked, finally realizing she wasn't kidding. "That's crazy, Renee, you wouldn't stand a chance, and I might really hurt you!" "Let's just give it a shot!" she replied, ignoring his protests, "If it hurts I'll holler and we'll stop. I just wanna see how long I can hold a big, strong man like you off!" "You'd need a stop watch that measures seconds in hundredths for that!" he sighed in disbelief at her determination, though he was still very much aware of her firm grip on his hand. "Less conversation, more competition!" she shot back as she braced herself and said, "GO!" They began and Kevin easily started pushing Renee's arm down though he was impressed by the amount of initial resistance she offered him. He was holding back, of course, not wanting to hurt her. It was true he was only using a fraction of his strength, but it was also true that he was using a larger fraction of it than he had expected to need. Renee stared at their hands and her lips pressed together as she gauged his strength and then compensated for it, stunning her opponent by bringing him to a halt. Kevin still wasn't using anywhere near his full power, but he'd been certain he was using enough to pin her arm. His look of mild surprise evolved into one of perplexed confusion as he steadily increased the amount of strength he was using but Renee's arm stubbornly refused to go down any further. Their contest had barely begun but her doubts were already settled and her curiosity satisfied. The other match had been no fluke, and she was ready to prove that to herself right now. "What the...", Kevin muttered as he continued to increase the pressure he was pushing against her with, but still saw no change in the position of her arm, though he did notice that her arm itself did change. Once again her upper arm seemed to expand and widen as a solid mass with no noticeable biceps standing out. It didn't bulge with muscle because it didn't need to, it remained feminine but formidable; and she knew Kevin didn't stand a chance. Renee lifted her gaze from their hands and looked up into the bewildered face of her male opponent. She smiled at him sweetly, winked, and serenely pushed his arm back up to the starting position. "Well, Kevin", she began in a perfectly calm, relaxed voice, "You are indeed stronger than Kevin, but then", she continued as she forced his arm down several inches, "strength, as you can clearly see, is a very relative thing!" "No, NO! Can't...can't be!" the shocked man gasped as he drew in air and pushed against Renee's arm with every ounce of power that he had, only to come up short. Her arm didn't even tremble, much less move in response to his fevered efforts. His head moved up and down in a series of rapid, jerking motions as his eyes shifted back and forth between their clasped hands and Renee's calm, smiling face. "Sorry, my dear", she whispered tenderly with a hint of sympathy in her voice, "but it can indeed be, and in fact it is!" She let her gaze drop briefly to their locked hands, pushed gently, and looked back up into Kevin's struggling face as she pounded his arm down to the table. For the second time that day a solid thump echoed through the room. She released his hand and sat back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest, her right arm already returning to its normal size and appearance. Kevin slid his throbbing, aching arm off the table and slumped back in his chair as beads of sweat trickled down his face and body. "And to think", he croaked as he massaged his arm and looked at Renee with awe, "I was afraid of hurting you! This is crazy! How? How??!!" "Does it really matter how?" she asked with a shrug, "It simply is, that's all. Hey, don't feel so bad", she added in a cheery, sincere tone, trying to mend his shattered ego, "at least you gave me a better fight than he did!" Kevin gazed at the small woman in silence as her words sank in and he understood the cause of Sorbo's strange behavior. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say more but no words came out. Then, his eyes darted quickly side to side as his brain shifted gears and he stood up from the chair. "Well, uh, um, they....they need me back on the set, gotta go babe!" he mumbled quickly as he turned and almost ran from the room before Renee could move or respond. He was still rubbing his arm as he left her field of vision. She sighed and closed her eyes in dismay as she realized this Kevin was having a much harder time dealing with the situation, as clearly evidenced by his departure. He was needed back on the set, he claimed, but neither of them had heard the beeper on his costume make a sound. Renee sat alone in the quiet commissary and for the second time that day found her emotions a mixed up jumble; delighted at the discovery of the tremendous physical strength she (and perhaps all women?) possessed, and guilty for trampling on the egos of two guys she really cared a lot about. She finally reached the only logical conclusion she could; things were simply as they were and would resolve themselves in due time. She couldn't turn back the clock and take back what had just happened, and even if she could, she wouldn't. Later that evening, work and meetings finished, Kevin sat at a local bar quietly nursing a beer. He took a light sip and placed the mug down as Kevin entered the bar and spied his fellow actor. The two men nodded in silent acknowledgement. They certainly weren't angry at each other but the mutual joviality displayed earlier that day was nowhere to be found, replaced by a sullen, quiet brooding. Kevin joined his friend at the bar leaving the stool between them empty, as men sometimes do. They didn't speak much their but similar attitudes communicated all they needed to know. Sorbo didn't know if Renee had told Smith what happened, but from the way his pal was acting it was pretty clear she'd tested herself against him with similar results. Smith knew what had happened to Sorbo, but saw no need to bring the embarrassing subject up, especially since he'd fared no better himself. The two sat there sipping beer and barely talking when a chirpy, high voice behind them broke the silence. "Jeez guys, I've seen livelier funerals than this!" The two men turned in response to the familiar voice to find Alexandra standing behind them with a bright smile on her pretty face. She wasn't in costume, of course, but her long blonde hair was still set in the cascading curls that bounced down over the shoulders of Aphrodite, goddess of love. The mood of the two Kevins brightened a little as they muttered greetings and she boosted herself up onto the empty bar stool between them. "So, what's up guys, who wants to buy a lady a drink?" Kevin (one of them - don't ask me which) quietly summoned the bartender and soon Alexandra had a cocktail before her. It was perfectly pretty, perfectly sweet, and perfectly pink; garnished with both fruit and one of those ridiculous paper umbrellas that serve no purpose whatsoever. She took a sip and squealed with girlish pleasure, then frowned in an exaggerated manner at the two gloomy men surrounding her. "Look! You two guys better start cheering up or I'm gonna bounce you out of here!" she teased, "And I'd make a very good bouncer too, 'cause everyone knows love is the strongest force on earth!" To emphasize the joke she flexed her arms, putting one upper arm in each Kevin's face. No biceps showed, but her soft arms looked firm, hefty, and slightly on the thick side, much like the arms of another lady they'd encountered earlier that day. Alexandra's actions, combined with her casual mention of the word "strongest" startled both men, causing them to jerk in their seats as if they were having spasms. They exchanged nervous, questioning glances. Had Alexandra seen Renee? Did she know anything about the days events? Did she?? Noticing this, but not having a clue as to what was spooking the two men, Alexandra lowered her arms and shook her head with a laugh. "Relax dudes, I'm a lover, not a fighter, and I think you're both big enough to handle sweet, little me!" she giggled, "I'm just trying to lighten the mood! Come on, chill out!" As she spoke, Alexandra reached her arms around the two big men from behind and embraced them, gripping and squeezing their outside arms with her small hands. The men flinched momentarily at the unexpected contact but then settled down. "You guys feel so tense!" she noted, "Did somebody steal your lunch money?" Kevin said nothing in response, but noted how tight her grip on his arm was. Despite the fact that she was holding his massive biceps, the pressure she was exerting nearly made him winch, and she wasn't even aware of it. The other Kevin made an even more unsettling discovery. Feeling her hand grip him he applied a quick burst of strength in an effort to move his arm away from his body, but failed. It remained pinned firmly to his side, held inescapably in place by the petite blonde sitting next to him. She'd easily outmuscled the much larger man - and she wasn't even aware of it. The two men exchanged glances again as they silently wondered, "her too?". Things were simply as they were. When Renee returned home she found a message on her answering machine. She smiled contentedly as she listened to her cousin's familiar voice inviting her to another family picnic and reunion the following month. Everyone would be there, including, Renee was certain, her uncle. It would be a lot of good food, a lot of fun, a lot of laughs and, for Renee and her uncle, a chance to resolve some unfinished business. "I can taste that corn on the cob already!" she said to herself with a smile.