TV Tussle #4:  MaryAnn, Yvonne, & Elaine 
by BeegBoy
Three "blasts from the past", both recent and distant, with a tip of the hat to those who suggested them!


**********************************************

MaryAnn (and a bit of Ginger) 

Gilligan grunted as he dragged the huge bucket of water up the
bank of the island's fresh water lagoon, leaving a straight line
in the sand with his footprints on each side so the image on the
ground looked like it had been made by an alligator wearing
shoes.  The professor followed not too far behind him, dragging
his own bucket in much the same manner.
"I'm telling you, professor", Gilligan moaned, "you made these
new buckets way too big, they weigh a ton when they're full!"
"I tend to agree", the professor huffed, "but when I thought
about how it would mean fewer trips to replenish our supplies, I
guess I neglected to allow for how much the water itself weighs!"

The large, makeshift buckets, constructed of canvas, twine and
driftwood, each had a capacity of just over 15 gallons, making
them formidable opponents to lift once the law of gravity was
taken into account.  As a result, the best the two men could do
was drag their weighty containers along the ground towards the
clearing.  
"Keep moving, you two!" the skipper barked as he brought up the
rear, "You're blocking the path!"  The skipper alone was the only
one of them strong enough to actually carry his bucket aloft,
though even he needed both hands to do it and at that barely held
it a foot or so above the ground.  

Huffing and puffing, the three of them finally arrived at the
clearing where they stopped to rest.  There were three more of
the empty buckets waiting for them, as the professor had created
six of the new containers altogether.
"It may be fewer trips, professor", Gilligan protested, "but it
takes twice as long and requires three times the energy!"
"He's got a point", the skipper agreed with a hearty laugh,
"these things are rough enough on me, and you two barely manage,
so how are the girls supposed to handle the weight?"
"I guess I didn't take enough into account when I fashioned these
things", the professor confessed, "I suppose we could only fill
them halfway or just go back to using the old, smaller ones for
the time being."
"But if we only fill these halfway we might as well just use the
old ones", the skipper mused, "Well, we might as well make one
more trip with the other three, just to be sure they're water
tight.  Maybe we can find another use for them afterwards."

Each of the men reached for an empty bucket just as MaryAnn
entered the clearing with the yoke on her shoulders.  
"Hi fellas!  I'm here for the water.....WOW, professor, those new

buckets do hold a lot more!" MaryAnn observed with a smile,
"We'll fill the storage barrels in half the time!"
"I'm afraid not, MaryAnn", the professor admitted sheepishly,
"they hold a lot more, but they also weigh a lot more so they're
much too heavy to carry all the way to our huts, and the trail is
too rough to drag them or roll them in on the cart."

"Well, maybe it's just a matter of balancing the weight", MaryAnn
suggested, "let's try it out; Ginger and I would love to make
fewer trips back and forth if we could."
"Balance or not, MaryAnn, a little thing like you could never
handle it, you couldn't even lift one of these!" the skipper
explained gently.
"But I'm not looking to lift them skipper, just to see if I can
balance them on my shoulders somehow", she countered, "come on,
just put them on the yoke."

The skipper just shrugged and shook his head slightly as looked
at the professor and Gilligan with an amused expression;  he knew
better than to argue with a woman.  All he and the other men
could do was stand close by so the weight wouldn't crush MaryAnn
when it fully settled on her small shoulders.
"OK, guys, let's load the little lady up!" the skipper said
whimsically as he grasped the handle of his full bucket. 
Gilligan and the professor together grabbed the handle of another
and the men started to lift the buckets of water, or at least
they tried to.  With considerable effort the skipper managed to
hoist his bucket up to waist height, still over a foot short of
reaching of the yoke resting on MaryAnn's shoulders, but could
lift it no higher.  Gilligan and the professor fared much worse,
even together they couldn't lift the full bucket of water higher
than their knees.   
"This might go easier if Mr. Howell were lending a hand!" grunted
the professor bitterly.
"Are you kidding?" the skipper snorted as he struggled with the
weigh in his hands, "The Howells are doing their usual "chores",
sipping coconut cocktails in their hut!"

"Does this help any?" MaryAnn asked as she stooped low into a
squatting position.
Even with the yoke's lowered height the bucket the skipper was
holding still remained several inches below it, and the professor
and Gilligan weren't even in the ballpark.
"It's useless, MaryAnn", the skipper gasped as he put the bucket
down, "even if we could, you'd never be able to straighten up
with this much weight, much less actually carry it!"  There was a
muffled thud as Gilligan and the professor also dropped their
bucket back onto the soft ground.
"I guess you're right, skipper", she said sweetly, "I don't know
what silly, little old me was thinking!  Why don't you fellas go
fill the other three buckets while I go get Ginger.  We'll bring
back the cart and see if there isn't someway to smooth a path so
you men can roll these buckets over to the camp."
The men agreed and, after catching their respective breaths, each
took an empty bucket and started back down towards the lagoon. 
Halfway down the path Gilligan began looking down on the ground
as if in search of something as he patted his pants pockets.
"What are you looking for, little buddy?" the skipper asked in a
friendly tone that contained just a touch of suspicion.
"Oh, uh, nothing, Skipper.......nothing." Gilligan answered
nervously.
"Gilligan!?" the skipper asked again, his voice rising in timbre
so the question sounded more like a command.
"I...I think I lost the compass again." Gilligan admitted with a
cringe.
"GILLIGAN!" the skipper shouted as he whacked his first mate over
the head with his cap, "We can't afford to get careless with the
few instruments we have!" the skipper continued as he grabbed the
empty bucket from Gilligan's hand, "Now go check the clearing for
it!  The professor and I will go fill these buckets and you meet
us down at the lagoon!"
Pulling his hat sheepishly over his ears, Gilligan started to
walk back towards the clearing, stumbling and falling against a
palm tree as he turned.  The collision dislodged a coconut from
the tree which landed, of course, squarely on Gilligan's head.
"Get going!" the skipper shouted as Gilligan staggered up the
path.  The professor rolled his eyes and grinned as he and the
skipper continued walking to the lagoon.

Courtesy of the tree and the coconut, Gilligan was a little dizzy
as he approached the clearing, which perhaps could have accounted
for what he saw.  Through a small opening in the dense brush he
saw that MaryAnn was still standing in the clearing and wondered
why she hadn't gone back for Ginger yet.  He was about to call
out to her when her actions froze him into silence.

MaryAnn was looking down the path, as if making sure the men had
completely departed and she was alone.  She then placed the yoke
atop two of the full water buckets, swung the handles over the
top of the yoke, and stepped back behind the center of it.  She
placed her hands on her hips and smirked as she gently shook her
head, her pigtails swaying as she did.  After one more quick
glance down the path MaryAnn kneeled down and took hold of the
yoke.  Gilligan watched in disbelief as she casually lifted the
yoke, and the two full buckets of water it held, up and over her
head as she stood erect; then she moved her head forward and
easily placed it down on her shoulders.  It was like watching a
bodybuilder casually handle a barbell, a very light barbell! 
Little MaryAnn....cute, little MaryAnn had lifted an amount of
weight the skipper, the professor and Gilligan together couldn't
manage, and it didn't look as if she'd had to strain to do it.

As Gilligan continued watching, MaryAnn took a few small steps to
determine the weight she was carrying was no real challenge.  She
turned towards camp and began walking up the path, but stopped.
Turning, she looked at the one remaining bucket, cocked her head
in thought and smiled.  Reaching down, she placed one hand on the

yoke to keep it balanced as she grabbed the handle of the third
bucket with the other hand.  With a happy, confident grin she
effortlessly raised the third bucket off the ground and lifted it
to waist height, the firm, tanned skin of her solid arm pressing
tightly against the short sleeve of her gingham dress as she
curled her arm and her small but powerful biceps strained the
fabric.  Giggling to herself, she again turned and began walking
towards camp.  In the bushes, the sight of the petite female so
easily lifting the third bucket caused Gilligan to gasp loud
enough to be heard.  MaryAnn looked back over her shoulder at the
sound just as Gilligan nervously ducked out of sight.  She wasn't
absolutely sure, but felt certain she'd caught a blur of red out
of the corner of her eye as she looked.  She looked carefully,
seeing nothing, but nonetheless grinned and winked in Gilligan's
direction.  Then she laughed lightly and casually walked back to
camp with all three of the full, heavy buckets.       

Dazed or stunned (or both), Gilligan continued to stare wide eyed
at the clearing long after MaryAnn had departed, his brain still
trying to process what his eyes assured it they had indeed seen.
He finally sauntered back down to the lagoon where the professor
and the skipper had already begun hauling and dragging their full
buckets of water.  
"Nice of you to join us, Gilligan!" the skipper sneered, "Hurry
up and fill your bucket.......and did you find the compass?"
"M..M...M..MaryAnn.....th...the...buck...buckets!" Gilligan
stammered, trying to pronounce the words that came out sounding
like gibberish.
"What?" the skipper asked, "What about MaryAnn?  Is she still
waiting by the other buckets?"
"Nuh...nuh...nuh...she...lifted...buckets....back to camp!!"
"Professor", the skipper sighed, "do you have any idea what he's
talking about?"
"Afraid not", the professor snickered, "I hardly understand him
when he's coherent!"
"Oh, never mind, little buddy!" the skipper said as he gently
shoved his shocked first mate towards the lagoon, "Just fill your
bucket and let's get back to the clearing and see what you're
talking about."
The skipper watched as Gilligan strode, trance like, down to the
water and whispered to the professor, "I think he's been out in
the sun too long!"  The professor arched his eyebrows and grinned
in response.

A short time later the three men were again dragging/carrying the
water buckets back up towards the clearing.  Gilligan had settled
down a bit, having convinced himself the coconut that conked him
on the noggin had made him see things.  At least he had almost
convinced himself.  As they entered the clearing, they found
MaryAnn and Ginger waiting for them with the cart.  
"Where are the other three buckets?" the professor asked once he
noticed they were nowhere to be seen.
"Well....", MaryAnn began sheepishly, "Ginger and I sort of did
something silly.  We wanted to help out so we tipped half of the

water out of each bucket and, one at a time, both of us together
managed to boost each one onto the cart.  Then we pulled it back
to camp to fill the barrels."
"After all our effort you dumped half the water!?" exclaimed the
skipper, clearly exasperated, "What were you girls thinking!?"
"And you had time to make three trips?" the professor asked, "I
didn't think we were down at the lagoon that long."  Gilligan
looked at MaryAnn dumbstruck and said nothing.

"I know it was silly, Skipper, we're sorry!  We just wanted to
help and besides, we weren't as low on water as we thought",
MaryAnn continued with a sweet smile, "Even the little bit that
Ginger and I hauled back to camp topped off one of the barrels
because it was already more than half full!"
"Strange", the professor muttered, "I thought all the barrels
were empty.........."
"They couldn't have been", Ginger interjected, "there's no way
the two of us could have moved enough water to fill a whole
barrel in so short a time!"  MaryAnn and Ginger smiled at the
confused men, then exchanged an amused, knowing glance with each
other.
"Well, that's certainly true!" the skipper laughed, "Come on,
guys, let's load this water onto the cart.

After a lot of tugging, straining, and grunting the three men
managed to place the water buckets atop the cart as the women
watched in silence.  Then they began wheeling the cart back
towards camp; the skipper pulling the cart with Gilligan and the
professor pushing from behind.  It was slow going on the soft
ground, and their progress was soon halted by what appeared to be
a small rock in the path.
"Whew, how did you two alone manage this?" the professor asked
the girls, as Gilligan continued gazing at petite MaryAnn.
"Well, after all", MaryAnn chirped, "we only took one bucket at a
time, and they were only half full!"
"Don't just stand there, Gilligan, move that rock so we can get
moving again!" the skipper commanded.
"Let me look", MaryAnn offered, "maybe I can dislodge it."
MaryAnn knelt down and grabbed the rock but it held fast in
place, indicating it was a much larger stone buried in the soil.
"I think I can loosen the stone enough to move it aside", she
said as she removed her hand from the rock and placed it on the
underside of the cart.  MaryAnn glanced up at Ginger who quickly
looked down the path and said, "Is that the Howells?"  The
skipper and the professor followed Ginger's gaze down the path so
only Gilligan, who kept his eyes on MaryAnn, saw her effortlessly
lift the cart over the rock and push it forward with just one
hand!  His jaw dropped open in silence as he again witnessed her
smooth, feminine biceps bulge and strain tightly against the
short sleeve of her dress.   MaryAnn looked up into his face and
locked eyes with him, then she smiled, shrugged and winked at him
for the second time that day as she gently placed the cart down
and stood up.
The group set off again, making slow but steady progress as
MaryAnn and Ginger took turns "moving stones out of the way" and
distracting the skipper and the professor whenever they did.  The
two women also giggled intermittently as they exchanged glances
with each other and the bewildered Gilligan.  Eventually, the
three men wrestled the laden cart back to their campsite.   
"Well I'll be damned", the professor observed as he checked the
first barrel, "this is full to the top!"
"But how did you two lift the water high enough?" the skipper
asked Ginger and MaryAnn, "The rim of the barrel is five feet off
the ground, and even half full these buckets are way to heavy for
you!"
"Uh..well...um", MaryAnn faltered as her eyes darted around and
finally spied a wooden plank against one of the huts.  "Well of
course they were much to heavy for us to lift, Skipper, so Ginger
and I placed that plank on the barrel rim to create a ramp and we
ever so slowly slid those big, heavy buckets up to the top!"
"Not bad, little lady!" the skipper replied, impressed, "I guess
you two really found a way to manage!"

Later that evening Gilligan was walking around aimlessly, still
trying to sort out the day's events.  He'd said nothing further
to the skipper or the professor, he really wasn't sure if he
could or should say anything.  As he strolled by the girls' hut
the door suddenly opened and he felt a small hand close on his
wrist like a vice.  Even as he emitted a low yelp of pain the
hand yanked him inside.  He found himself face to face up against
MaryAnn, who released his wrist and swiftly wrapped her strong
arms around him, pinning his arms to his sides.  She lifted the
bewildered man off the floor and carried him over to the table,
where she placed him down in a chair next to Ginger.  As MaryAnn
released Gilligan, Ginger gently placed her hand on his shoulder. 
He tried to rise up but Ginger applied a minimal resistance on
his shoulder and effortlessly forced him back down, the biceps in
her arm barely rising ever so slightly as she did it.  MaryAnn
sat down across from Gilligan and addressed him with a smile.

"Now Gilligan", she began, "you were out in the sun a long, long
time today, so you were probably seeing some things that may have
looked strange, even unbelievable, to you."
"The important thing is", Ginger continued, "is that you not
start rambling on about things that clearly couldn't be true!"
"Exactly!" MaryAnn added as she placed a cup on the table in
front of him, "You just need a cool drink to settle yourself
down, how about some nice, fresh coconut milk?" 
Gilligan watched as MaryAnn picked up a coconut and grasped it
with both hands, holding it over the cup before him.  A low,
creaking sound broke the silence and steadily grew louder until
it ended in a loud crack as MaryAnn split the coconut open with
her bare hands and poured the milk into the cup.
"And even if you did see what you think you saw", she concluded
wistfully, "who on earth would ever believe you?"
Totally stunned, Gilligan remained silent and seated as he meekly
lifted the cup and drank his milk like a good little boy.    


**********************************************

Yvonne

"ACTION!" the director shouted and the garnish, brightly colored
set, full of strange looking, abstractly shaped props and devices
suddenly sprang to life with a wide assortment of equally bizarre
looking characters; all of whom appeared as if they belonged in a
comic book, which indeed they did!  The TV show Batman had proven
itself to be a ratings bonanza for the network, and the previous
season's shoestring budget had been increased to a staggering
amount, allowing for ever more elaborate productions; anything to
keep the ratings up and those advertiser dollars flowing.

The cartoon villains discussed their nefariously evil plot with
wide eyes, large grins, wringing hands and any other inflated
body movements they could improvise.  Suddenly, the sound of
crashing glass announced the arrival of Batman and his faithful
sidekick Robin as they entered via a large, Acme #2 breakaway
window, which was (of course) conveniently located on the wall of
the villains' "impenetrable" fortress.

"Holy baloney, cheese and macaroni, Batman!" Robin exclaimed,
"This is the vilest volume of venomous villains I've ever seen
venture into one vicinity!" 
"Well said, boy wonder!" Batman replied in a stoic tone, "But
together we'll have these scoundrels back in the can before you
can say Prince Albert!"
The melee began as Batman and Robin descended upon the hapless
villains, who proved to be even poorer stunt men than they were
actors.  The director just shrugged in resignation and let the
cameras roll, knowing he could later cover any missed punches or
other clumsy moves with a large ZAP!!!, ZOWIE!!! or KAPOW!!!
inserted over the worst of the pathetically bad action.  The
viewing public had, amazingly, accepted the poor acting and cheap
production values as high camp, and if something isn't broke, as
the old saying goes, you don't try to fix it.  Nonetheless, the
show's producers had decided to try a new angle by introducing a
new character, and only they and the director knew that this new
character was about to make a surprise entrance into the scene
currently being filmed.

"Get'm boys!  Let's exterminate this winged rat and his little
fowl friend!" exclaimed the head villain, played by the has been
guest star of the week.  The man delivered his all lines with a
degree of dramatic overacting that made Jerry Lewis sound like
Ronald Coleman in comparison.  Batman and Robin stood back to
back, throwing their fake punches as the assorted evil henchmen
obligingly stepped forward one at a time to be properly plummeted
by the dynamic duo and bark out the required number of "OOOOOFS",
"UUGGHS" and "OOWWFFS" as they each doubled over or staggered
back in painful response to fists that swung in their general
direction but still missed connecting with their bodies by nearly

a foot.  Occasionally, the heroes would grab a stone pillar, or
some other ridiculous item, and mow down five or six of the vile
henchmen at a time.  For some reason it never occurred to viewers
that the pillar had no earthly purpose for being there other than
to be used for mowing down the various evil henchmen.

The action, or what laughingly passed for action, continued as
Batman and Robin took position side by side, preparing to knock
down a double column of approaching evil doers.  The director
looked up and grinned as a whooshing sound above the set
announced the arrival of the new, surprise character.  All the
villains looked up with a genuine, but still poorly performed,
gasp as Batgirl swung down from the ceiling on her handy Batgirl  
lasso, a glamorous, super duper, indestructible crime fighting
device that consisted of a jump rope painted deep lavender.  As
she entered the rumble from above, Batgirl released her lasso and
planted one of her hands on each of the dynamic duos' shoulders
as she began making mincemeat of the approaching villains with a
series of high kicks that were delivered in a safe but far more
realistic manner than the punches being thrown by the two male
actors.  Unfortunately, the action sequence quickly fell apart as
the various actors portraying the villains, unprepared for the
new character's entrance, missed their cues far worse than they
usually did or simply froze in place, uncertain of what to do. 
Batman and Robin, who were likewise taken by surprise, faltered
where they stood and fell to their knees, taking their unexpected
female crime fighting partner down along with them.

"What the fuc.....ouch, dammit!" the caped crusader proclaimed,
much less stoically, as his knees slammed into the floor.
"Holy shit in a pit", the boy wonder exclaimed as he looked at 
Batgirl, starting his utterance in his maddening, rhyming prose,
"Who the hell are you?  Who the hell is this?!"
"Cut, cut, CUT!!" the director shouted in disgust, "My God, can't
any of you guys improvise for as much as thirty lousy seconds?  I
mean, it's not as if we're doing Shakespeare!"  The director's
intended hope, that Batgirl's abrupt appearance would segue into
a neat, spontaneous action sequence, vaporized on the spot.
"Sorry, boss!" Batgirl quipped as she cocked her head, "I didn't
mean to bring down the house!"  
"What's going on, here?" Adam asked as he removed the mask and
cowl from his face, "Is she a new villain?  Why is she dressed
like me?"
"No, she's a new heroine", the director sighed, "Adam, Burt, meet
Yvonne Craig, our new addition to the cast, she'll be playing
Batgirl."

"Batgirl?!" Burt barked out, his temper rising, "What a stupid
idea, who the hell thought this up?!"
"The network is who the hell thought this up!" the director spat
back, "This show may be number one with preteen and teenage boys,
but our numbers are lousy when it comes to young girls; so the
producers are hoping to increase the female audience and keep the
advertisers happy.  You got a problem with that, Burt?"

"Bunch of dumb shit.....", Burt muttered, "This is an action
show, a guy's show, and we don't need a girl messing it up!  Say
something, Adam!" he appealed to the lead star.
"Hey, look kid", Adam shrugged as he replied in a low, nonchalant
tone, "a paycheck's a paycheck, and I don't think any of us are
exactly contenders for an EMMY, so what's the big deal?"  Adam
turned his eyes toward the director and continued in the same
mild mannered voice, "I guess I really don't see the point of
this, but I don't really have any problem with it, either."
"That's the spirit!" Yvonne said gleefully as she slid her hands
across the mens' shoulders and gently wrapped them around their
necks in a form of caress, "This is gonna be fun!!"
"This sucks!" Burt continued protesting, "A chick can't handle
the rough and tumble action sequences required, and a woman can't
be a super hero without super powers, she's too weak!"

The director planted his hands on his forehead in exasperation. 
He'd always considered Burt an idiot, but couldn't believe what
he was hearing from him now; the "boy wonder" sounded like he was
actually starting to believe in all this ridiculous hype.
"Oh, come on Burt, this will be a blast!" Yvonne chirped as she
tried to diplomatically win the young man over.
"Nothing doing!  I'm calling my agent!" Burt shot back as he 

started to rise up off his knees.
In response to his movement, Yvonne ever so subtly tightened her
arm around his neck slightly and in doing so prevented him from
standing.  Burt was surprised when halted his motion, whereas
Yvonne was surprised by the ease with which she'd accomplished
it.  Adam also began stirring in preparation to stand, but she
made no efforts to contain him.
"Just give it a chance Burt!" Yvonne pleaded, "I need a steady
gig as much as the next actor!"
"Don't beg him, Yvonne!" the director snarled, "It's not his
decision to make anyway, you're officially part of the cast."
"Yeah!" Burt exclaimed, "Well just wait until....hey...let go... 
..let go of me, dammit!" he muttered as he began struggling
harder to get free of her.  Yvonne reacted by again slightly
increasing the force she was exerting to hold Burt in place and
began to get amused by how weak he appeared to be.  The arm she
had slung over his shoulder began to look less and less like a
gentle caress and more and more like a headlock.
"Get offa me, you stupid bitch!" Burt gasped as he grabbed her
forearm with both hands and attempted, unsuccessfully, to yank it
away.  Yvonne grinned as she tightened her arm even more despite
his increased resistance.  Truly amazed by the situation, she
slid her other arm off Adam's shoulder and with the free hand
pulled her mask and cowl off her face.  Adam stood up next to the
director and both men, along with the rest of the cast, watched
in shocked silence as the petite girl easily overpowered the
larger, stockier Burt.  Yvonne's pretty eyes widened in an almost
mesmerized gaze as she watched the struggling man, and her grin
slowly widened into a full smile.

"My God.......", she let out in an amused whisper, "..are you

really trying, Burt, I mean really, really trying?"  The boy
wonder made no response other than to resume pulling at her
forearm with both hands using all his strength, but his efforts
were futile.  Yvonne calmly watched him struggle against her one
arm, her other arm hanging casually by her side.  Their faces
told the whole story; Burt was using every ounce of power he had
to break her hold, while she maintained it with no detectable
degree of strain or effort.  Her face took on an expression of 
curiosity as she reached forward with her free hand, took hold of
one of Burt's wrists and, with what appeared to be nothing more
than a gentle tug, yanked his hand off her forearm.  She
continued gazing, with the same happy, mesmerized look, as she
slowly straightened out her arm and easily pulled Burt's along
with it.  Her arm, which looked thick and firm (but not muscular)
under the long sleeved top she wore, was barely half the width of
his, but nonetheless appeared to be far stronger.  She began to
giggle as she watched Burt continue to struggle feebly in her
grasp, one arm wrapped securely around his neck and the other
holding his arm stretched out and useless.  

"You're not the boy wonder", she tittered in his ear, "you're the
boy weakling!!"
"Stop it, let go.....help me!" Burt pleaded to the onlookers. 
His pride and ego were already severely damaged, now he just
wanted the physical humiliation to end, but the audience remained
silent.  They didn't say a word and they didn't interfere.  Then
Yvonne pulled in on his extended arm and, with the same ease
she'd used to stretch it out, pulled it up behind his back.  She
now had the embarrassed man in a devastating headlock/hammerlock
combination, and she hadn't even broken a sweat.  As much as
Burt's mind was reeling over this, Yvonne's was reeling even
more.  She'd never been athletic and had initially worried she
wasn't in good enough physical shape to play the part of Batgirl,
but if this wimp could carry off the part of Robin how hard could
it be?  She was genuinely astonished to discover she was stronger
than him, and stronger by a wide margin! 
"Is that it?" she whispered into his ear again, "Is that really
all you've got, little guy?  How does it feel to know that this
stupid chick is stronger than you?!!"

Yvonne abruptly jerked up from her kneeling position and pulled
Burt along with her, then quickly shoved him forward as she
crossed one of her legs in front of his.  She released him as
they toppled to the ground with her landing atop him on his back. 
She grabbed his arms from behind and a brief struggle ensued, a
very brief struggle.  In less than a minute Burt was flat on his
back with his arms pinned beside his head and Yvonne sitting
firmly on his crotch.  Leaning forward, she kissed the defeated
man on the forehead.  Then she released him and stood up with her
hands clasped over her head in victory.  Finally free of his
female captor, Burt stood up and quickly resumed his belligerent
manner.

"You just caught me off guard!" he blurted at her, "I could cream
a wimpy little chick like you, I just didn't want to hurt you!"
"Yeah right!" Yvonne shot back sarcastically, "You couldn't even
cream corn, you wuss!  Do you believe this guy, Adam?" she asked
as she looked to the man who portrayed the caped crusader.
"Well", Adam said in his calm, amiable voice, "I must admit that
was quite a demonstration, little lady, but you definitely had
the element of surprise on your side.  Surely you don't really
think you could compete physically with Burt, or any man for that
matter."
"I guess this is what they call the Boys' Club mentality", she
sighed in response, "you all think a pair of balls guarantees you
a Herculean strength level, even a pair of couch potatoes like
you!"
"Now, there's no need to be insulting", Adam responded, slightly
agitated but still very polite, "it's just that women, by law of
nature, can't even be as strong as men, much less stronger; they
can't achieve our level of fitness."
"You're hardly one to talk about fitness, Adam", Yvonne replied
quietly as she gently poked the small paunch that hung over his
utility belt, "this isn't exactly a six pack stomach, and", she
continued as she felt his upper arm, "yours aren't exactly the
hardest biceps I've ever felt.  And the two of you collapsed
almost as soon as I landed on your shoulders, I mean, I glided
down on a rope, it's not like I was dropped on you out of the sky
like a sack of potatoes and trust me, I really don't weigh all
that much!"

"You're full of it!" Burt interjected, "Who are you to judge a
guy's biceps when you don't even have any!"  He impulsively
grabbed her upper arm and, as he expected, felt no degree of
muscle bulge.  However, her arm was thicker than he expected it
to be and, to be honest, it was also firmer than he expected, a
lot firmer.
"Strength doesn't require bulging muscles, little guy", Yvonne
replied, "it just requires muscles that are in shape, much unlike
yours!"  She'd noticed the surprise on his face when he felt her
arm and added, "A little harder than you expected, huh Burt?"
"Not really!" Burt replied in a curt tone, "Probably just the
stiff fabric of your costume!"
"Oh yeah", she rolled her eyes, "Silk is really stiff until you
break it in!"
"OK, OK, enough people!" the director broke in, "Yvonne's on
board and that's that....and that's a wrap for the day!" he added
as he checked his watch.   In passing, he added to Adam and Burt
in a low voice, "You know, it really wouldn't kill you guys to
spend a few hours in the studio gym tomorrow morning", and then
to Yvonne he winked and said cheerfully, "but I don't think we
need you getting any stronger, my dear!"  She laughed and winked
back at him over her shoulder as the group disbanded for the day. 
"I don't suppose any of you guys caught that on film?" he asked
his cameramen as they left the studio, receiving only apologetic
negative responses.  "Too bad", he sighed cynically, "it would've
been really sweet to use against that prissy little prick when
his contract comes up for renewal."
Early, but not bright, the next morning, Adam and Burt met at the
empty gymnasium in the studio basement.
"Geez Adam, why the hell are we here?  I sure coulda used another
few hours in the sack!" Burt whined in greeting.
"Don't cry to me about it, chum!" Adam replied, equally unhappy
about being there but still managing to be his usual polite, low
key self, "It was your getting trounced by Yvonne that brought us
here.  What the heck happened anyway?  How did she ever manage to
overpower you like that?"
"She caught me off guard!" Burt snapped back quickly, "You saw
it, Adam, the bitch caught me off balance and just got lucky!"
"Whatever", Adam sighed, dropping the subject but still doubting
the explanation, "let's hit the weights!"
The two men walked over to the barbell area and began working out
quietly, lazily curling and pressing small weights that offered
them no real physical challenge; and even the number of reps they
performed was minimal.  Burt, however, starting acting as if he
was on an exercise high.

"Yeah, yeah, feel that burn!  No pain, no gain, eh Adam?  I'd
really like another shot at that uppity broad right now, I'd show
her a thing or two!"
"Anytime you're ready, little guy." a feminine voice whispered
from behind.  Startled, the two men dropped their barbells to the
mat and turned to see Yvonne standing behind them in a leotard. 
The tight, sleeveless garment displayed her ample curves better
than the Batgirl costume did, far better in fact.  She walked up
to Burt in a sultry manner and offered him her arm.
"No stiff fabric covering it now, guy, care for another feel?"
Burt clamped his hand over her biceps area and squeezed firmly,
waiting for her to winch in pain, but she just continued to look
at him with a sweet, innocent smile.  Burt swallowed hard as he
increased pressure with his hand but couldn't indent his fingers
into her arm any further.  There was no costume covering her bare
flesh now and no escaping the fact; her arm was rather thick for
a woman, and incredibly firm without being muscular.  Yvonne was
soft and smooth, but she was also solid.  Burt quietly removed
his hand.

"So, how much iron are we pumping this morning!" she asked them
brightly.  Before Adam could open his mouth, Burt opened his and
promptly put his foot in it.  The man understood nothing about
quitting when he was ahead (or in this case, behind).  He reached
down and grabbed an empty bar that contained no weights, just the
locking clamps, and offered it to Yvonne.
"Here, babe!" he chortled, "I hope this isn't too heavy for you!"
"You're not just a chump", Yvonne fumed at him, "you're a stupid,
arrogant chump!  Is this jerk for real, Adam?"
"Well....", Adam began carefully, "I'll grant you Burt is never
going to work as a diplomat, but come on, Yvonne, women lifting
weights is downright silly.  I can see you're fit and very, very
attractive", he continued, "but that hardly means you're strong. 
So you're weak, so what?  Women are supposed to be weak!"

"Weak?" Yvonne whispered as she glared at Adam, now realizing he
was as big a jerk as Burt, albeit a polite one, "Weak?  Tell ya
what boys, let's check this out and we'll just see exactly who's
weak around here!"  

Yvonne yanked the bar from Burt's hands with a tug and a scowl
and walked over to a nearby weight bench.  She knelt down and
placed her elbows on the bench, gripping the bar before her at
shoulder width, as if she was using it to do chin ups.
"Anytime you're ready, little guy!" she hissed at Burt.
"You're on bitch!" Burt shot back as he strode over to the bench,
dropped to his knees across from her and grasped the metal bar in
a similar manner.  The bar was now held lengthwise between them
and about a foot from their respective chests.  She looked calmly
at her male opponent, drew a deep breath and whispered, "GO!"
Their forearms tensed as they began to struggle, each trying to
pull the bar in their direction as they tested their comparative
strength.  Initially, the bar remained at dead center as Burt 
clenched his teeth and grunted while Yvonne stared at him with
her lips pressed tightly closed in determination.  Then the bar
started moving in her direction at a steady pace as she curled
her arms closer to her chest and forced Burt's larger arms to
yield.  His biceps expanded and sweat appeared on his brow as he
intensified his resistance, but Yvonne continued pulling him
relentlessly towards her with that same determined, but strangely
calm, expression on her face.  Her powerful arms looked as if
they were simply sitting there at rest compared to the strain
visible on Burt's arms, but continued to easily overpower him.   
"Wouldn't arm wrestling be easier, sweetie?" Burt gasped through
his closed teeth.
"What?" she answered coolly, her steady voice betraying no sign
of strain or struggle, "and let you claim I won because we had a
bad grip?  No way, wonder wimp!"  As she finished speaking,
Yvonne curled her arms inward completely, touching the bar to her
collar bone and clearly winning the direct test of strength. 
Burt fell back limply as he released the bar and just sat there
drawing in deep gasps of air, his strength sapped and his ego
flattened.

"Bad show, old chum", Adam said sympathetically, "but she beat
you fair and square this time; you're pathetically out of shape!"
"NEXT!" Yvonne called out as she ignored Burt and settled her
eyes squarely on Adam, "Please step forward, Mr. West."
"What?  You....you can't be serious....", Adam began.
"I've had it with your politely patronizing attitude!" Yvonne cut
him off, "Put up or shut up!"
"Well, I was taught never to refuse a lady!" Adam smirked as he
knelt at the bench and gripped the bar as Burt had before him.
"Ready?" Yvonne asked.  Adam nodded yes and she called it, "GO!"
Her match against Adam followed much the same course as her match
with Burt, except that Adam's eyes opened even wider in shocked
disbelief as she again began to pull the bar towards her despite
his intense resistance.  Adam drew a deep breath and shut his
eyes as he concentrated all his strength into one massive pull,
but it barely even slowed Yvonne down.  As she'd suspected, Adam
was proving no more of a challenge than Burt had, perhaps even
less of one.  The truth was that she couldn't determine which of
them was weaker, being that it took so little effort on her part
to defeat them both.  But Yvonne didn't care.  It didn't matter
which of the two men was stronger, all that mattered was the fact
that she was far stronger than either of them.  Her pressed lips
curved up in a small, satisfied smile as she again touched the
bar to her neck, defeating Adam just as easily as she'd beaten
Burt.  The dejected man wobbled to his feet as he released the
bar she continued holding.
"Impossible!" he groaned hoarsely, "It can't be..no..impossible!"
"Gee, Adam!" Burt wheezed sarcastically, "You're pathetically out
of shape!"
"Shut up you twerp!" Adam spat out, his temper rising.
"Who are you calling a twerp, old man!" Burt laughed, "I didn't
see you do any better.
"Boys, boys!" Yvonne laughed, seeing how easy it would be to
divide and conquer these jerks, but deciding it would be more
fun, and satisfying, to take them down together, "Don't waste
your energy venting at each other, combine your manly efforts and
put me back in my place........IF YOU THINK YOU CAN!!"  She again
offered the bar in the challenge position.

The insult, her suggestion that she was stronger than both of
them combined, was too much for the men to ignore.  They returned
to the bench, gripped each end of the bar she held and nodded at
her grimly.  For the third time Yvonne cried out "GO!"  At once
both of the men threw their bodies backward, trying to add their
combined weights to the strength equation, but it had no apparent
on their female opponent.  Together they strained and grunted as
they managed to draw the bar several inches in their direction,
only to watch the smiling girl casually pull the bar, and them,
back with remarkable ease.  This procedure was repeated several
times, but each time it proved harder and harder for the men to
pull the bar away from her, and increasingly easier for Yvonne to
pull the bar back.  They were two against one, but they were
still losing to her.  

In a final, desperate maneuver, Adam and Burt yanked back and
placed their feet on the edge of the weight bench for extra
leverage as they pulled against her, pitting the total strength
of their arms and legs against her arms alone.  The men closed
their eyes in extreme effort, their teeth clenched as if they
were glued together, their brows drenched in sweat.  Suddenly,
Yvonne's confident grin faltered as her arms were forced outward
and the bar began moving slowly in the men's direction, this time
clearly resisting her determined attempts to pull it back.  She
slid her hands along the bar until they were together at its
center and pulled on it with all her apparent strength, but the
combined strength of Adam and Burt continued to negate and
overcome her resistance.  The men leaned back forward in triumph,
ready to finally claim themselves a victory as they drew the bar
within a inch or two of their own necks.

"We've got her!  We've got her!" Burt gloated.
"Right with you, old chum!" Adam chortled, though it was doubtful
either of them would be boasting to anyone about it anytime soon,
considering the tremendous effort the two of them were putting
forth to defeat one, petite female.

"You guys ain't got nuthin'!!" Yvonne suddenly squealed as the
relaxed smile returned to her face.  Then, as Adam and Burt's own
smiles collapsed and their mouths dropped open, she removed her
left hand from the bar and began to slowly pull the bar back in
her direction, using only her single, right arm against them. 
Naturally, this required a significant increase in the amount of
strength she used, but her firm, thick arm still displayed only a
moderate bulge of biceps.  As devastated as the two men were,
Yvonne found the reality of the situation absolutely dizzying. 
She'd genuinely surprised herself when she discovered she was
stronger that Burt, and Adam had proved it wasn't just a fluke;
but this was beyond her wildest dreams or expectations.  She was
actually stronger than both of these men together.  In fact, her
lone arm was stronger than both these men together!  Her
confidence swelled as a new sense of empowerment overwhelmed her. 
The desperate, humiliated men pulled with all their might in a
futile effort to reclaim their now lost victory, but Yvonne
calmly continued curling her arm in closer and closer to her
chest as she viewed her opponents with amused disdain.
"Nuthin' at all...." she whispered one final time, "...you guys
ain't got nuthin' at all!!"

She completed her third straight victory as  the cool metal bar
again touched her neck.  Then she quickly released it, sending
both men sprawling back as the bar rammed into their chins.
"Thanks for the workout boys!" she said cheerfully to Burt and
Adam as she grabbed a nearby towel and mopped her only slightly
wet forehead as they lay on the ground moaning and rubbing their
painfully bruised chins, "And thanks for helping me prove that
two can be as puny as one!"   

*********************************************

Elaine

Jerry closed the refrigerator door and hit the wall button in
response to the electronic buzz of the intercom.
"It's Elaine." emitted from the speaker in a familiar, electronic
voice.
"Come on up!" Jerry replied as he buzzed her into the building.
He opened the apartment door a crack so she could enter without
knocking.  Elaine and the others were meeting at his place before
choosing a movie to see.  A second intercom buzz within a minute
announced George's arrival, and Jerry hit the door opener for a
second time.  As he scanned the theater listings in the paper,
Jerry stood near the open door listening for their approach, but
the hallway remained quiet.  He was just beginning to wonder what
had become of Elaine and George when he heard raised, though

muffled, voices coming from down the hall, voices that sounded
familiar.  Curious, he went out to investigate.  He soon realized
that the voices were those of his two friends, and they were
coming from behind the closed doors of the elevator.

"....your fault!  You stupid, bald doughboy, it's your fault!!"
Elaine was shouting angrily.
"That's right!  That's right!  Blame me because the elevator's a
piece of crap, everybody dumps on George!!" George spat back.
"Hey, hey, what's going on you two?" Jerry asked as he pounded on
the doors.
"Jerry?  Jerry?  Help, get us out of here!" Elaine pleaded, "This
idiot caused the doors to jam, they won't open!"
"I did not jam the doors!" George shouted defensively, "Never did
I jam the doors, Jerry, never!  I am not a door jammer!!"
Jerry hit the elevator button on the wall, which was already lit
up.  The elevator responded with a few electronic clicks but the
doors only quivered slightly and remained shut.
"Are you trying the door button in there?" Jerry called out.
"Duh, what do you think Seinfeld?  NO! I'm pressing the close
button!" Elaine screamed sarcastically.
"What happened, anyway?" Jerry asked as he put his fingers to the
crack where the doors met, finding it too tight to insert them.
"What do you think happened?" Elaine griped, "At the lobby I got
in and the doors had almost closed when 'Mr. Impatient' here came
running up and hit the safety bumper so they reopened.  Then the
doors made a funny noise as they closed because this fat jerk
knocked them off the track or something!  Door jammer!", she
hissed at George,  "Door jammer, door jammer, door jammer!!"
"Stop it, stop it!" George whined, "I am not a door jammer!  You
saw me coming, why didn't you hold the door open for me?  Why
won't anyone ever wait for me, why don't I get any respect?!"

Jerry just sighed and rolled his eyes as he continued to press
and pound on the elevator button hoping he could free the two of
them before they killed each other.  His actions finally caused
the doors to open about an inch, but no further.  Gripping the
edges with his hands, Jerry began trying to pull the doors apart,
but they held firm.  He grumbled to himself as he listened to
Elaine and George continue picking away at each other.
"Will you both shut up!" Jerry cried in exasperation, "George,
grab the doors and help me!"
The interior of the elevator grew silent and George's pudgy
fingers appeared on the outside edge near Jerry's and the two of
them pulled on the metal doors together.  Their combined effort
forced the doors open roughly another half inch, but they could
make no headway beyond that.
"Hurry up, hurry up!" Elaine pleaded as she jumped up and down,
"I have to pee really bad!"
"So cross your legs!" George chortled between grunts.
"Oh, stuff it, doughboy!" Elaine shrieked, and jabbed her finger  
firmly into his soft side, causing George to jump back and remove
his hands from the doors, "I've gotta pee, and I mean now!" 
Elaine gripped the elevator doors quickly, inadvertently digging

her nails into Jerry's hands as she did; causing him to likewise
pull his hands from the doors as he yelped in pain.   
"Dammit, Elaine", Jerry scowled, "watch those claws of yours or
I'll leave you both in there!"

Jerry was about to grab the doors again when he suddenly heard a
squealing, metallic sound.  His jaw dropped open as he watched
the elevator doors slowly, but steadily, slide open, apparently
propelled by nothing more than Elaine's arms.  As the opening
widened, he saw George standing in the back of the elevator with
a similar shocked expression on his face.  As soon as she had it
opened wide enough to let her pass, Elaine popped through and
raced for Jerry's apartment and the bathroom as she grinned and
haughtily shouted "WIMPS!" back over her shoulder.  The two men
stood there frozen and mutually stunned at what they'd just seen,
their minds trying to comprehend and explain it.  George was the
first one jolted back into action when the door began to slowly
close again.  He moved forward swiftly but the opening was
already too narrow to let him pass, so he again gripped the edges
of the doors and pushed outward.  He strained and grunted, but
the doors continued to close in spite of his resistance.

"Help me, Jerry!" he cried, "Grab the damn doors!"
His revelry broken by George's exclamation, Jerry also gripped
the doors and began to assist.  Together they managed to prevent
them from closing any further, but were also unable to spread
them any further apart.  The elevator mechanism maintained a
steady pressure against them, and it took their combined strength
just to keep the doors stationary, put the opening wasn't wide
enough for portly George to escape through. 
"How the hell did she do this?!" George flustered, referring to
Elaine's seeming demonstration of incredible strength.
"I don't know", Jerry wheezed, "we must of popped them back on
track for her but then they slid off when the doors started to
close."  The two men continued their standoff battle with the
metal doors, but they made no progress and, unlike them, the
elevator mechanism wasn't getting tired.

Elaine, having finished her business in Jerry's bathroom, came
back down the hall, wondering why he and George weren't in the
apartment.   She was surprised and amused to see them still
struggling with the doors of the elevator.
"What's this all about?" she laughed, "Is that big mean elevator
still picking on you guys?"
"Very funny!" Jerry grunted, "It went off the track again before
George could get out!"
"I don't think it was ever back on the track....", Elaine mused,
"didn't you hear how it squealed when I forced it open?"
"Then why won't it open now, Miss Know It All?" George gasped
from inside, "I suppose you're more mechanically inclined than we
are?"
"No....", Elaine chirped softly, "....I think I'm probably just
stronger than you are".
"Stop clowning around and lend a hand!" Jerry commanded.  Elaine

stepped in under Jerry's arms to assist.  Her strength comment
had, of course, just been a joke, but now she began to wonder. 
It hadn't been all that easy for her to force the doors apart, so
they couldn't have been on their tracks; but if that was the
case, why couldn't George and Jerry force them open now?  She was
suddenly grabbed by a mischievous thought and a need to know for
sure.  Stepping up to the door, she didn't grab the edges but
instead reached in with one hand and flipped George's glasses off
his face.

"Stop that, stop it!" he yelled as he released the doors and bent
down to retrieve them.  At the same time, Elaine shot a quick
elbow into Jerry's stomach, causing him to stagger back and also
release his grip.  The doors started to slide shut as Elaine
gripped the edges.  She braced herself as they closed to within a
inch of touching and started pulling outward against them.  For
the second time, the doors were steadily forced open with a loud,
squealing noise as the strength in Elaine's arms proved itself
superior to the machinery that opposed her.  George put on his
glasses as he stood up and watched in disbelief as the petite
woman muscled the doors full open.  Jerry watched in a similar
fascinated manner as he massaged his stomach.
"Well, George...", she queried playfully, "are you coming out or
should I just leave you in there all night?!"  The stunned man
recovered enough to stoop under her arm and exit the elevator,
after which she released the doors, which squealed loudly as they
rapidly slid shut.  She turned to confront the two bewildered men
with her hands akimbo on her trim waist.
"The two of you together couldn't handle those doors, the two of
you!" she heckled, "What a pair of weaklings!!  I guess I get to
chose the movie tonight!"  She strolled back to Jerry's apartment
with the two men following close behind, both of them jabbering
various excuses and explanations for what had happened. 

"Wimps, wimps, wimps....!" she continued tittering as the three
entered the apartment, adding to Jerry, "You'd better call the
landlord to get that elevator fixed, with the shape you're in
climbing those steps will probably kill you!"
"Oh, stop it!" Jerry sneered, "Either the doors jumped the track
or it was just some kind of fluke, you're about as strong as over
boiled spaghetti!"
"Not so, not so!" Elaine shot back as she removed her jacket,
"I've been going to the gym, just look at these guns!"  As she
spoke she flexed her biceps and they were a fairly impressive
sight, but far from formidable.  Her upper arms were tanned,
fleshy and firm; and her solid, feminine muscles strained against
the soft fabric of her cap sleeved top.  Her two male friends
were nonetheless unimpressed.
"You're a riot, Elaine, you know that?!" George laughed, but his
voice had a definite defensive tone, "You actually think you're
as strong as Jerry or me!"
"No, George, no", she said in a low, sweet voice, "considering
what just happened down the hall I'm not as strong as you guys,
I'm stronger!"

"Oh, oh, look Jerry, look!" George teased, "We have Wonder Woman
right here in your apartment!"  Jerry just shook his head gently,
rolled his eyes and remained quiet.  Having dated Elaine at one
time, Jerry knew when to fold his cards and give up the game, but
George didn't.  But then, even if George had dated Elaine he
still wouldn't have known any better because George was George;
and George was basically an idiot. 

Elaine placed her hands on her hips again and fixed George with a
steady glare, then her face broke into a sinister smile.  The
elevator incident had greatly enhanced her self confidence and
virtually convinced her she truly was stronger than they were,
but why not make sure?  She linked her hands together behind her
back and demurely strolled over to the kitchen counter, where she
swiftly whirled around and planted her right elbow on it, her
hand extended and open.
"Come on, Georgie Porgie, let's arm wrestle!"
"Don't call me that!  You know I hate it when you call me that!"
George cried.  
"Aw, is Georgie Porgie afraid the mean wittle girl will hurt him,
hurt poor, weak wittle Georgie Porgie?" she sneered.
"Stop it, stop it!!" he nearly screamed, flushed red with anger
and frustration.
"Make me stop, Georgie Porgie!" Elaine giggled cruelly, "Show me
how big and strong you are and I'll stop!"
Seething, George stepped up to the counter and locked hands with
her.  Jerry merely folded his arms and slouched against the wall
to observe the contest.  He still didn't believe that Elaine
could actually beat George in a direct test of strength, but she
certainly knew how to push his buttons. 
 
The contest began with George making several, successive jerking
efforts to force her arm down, and he did indeed gain several
inches with each motion.  Unfortunately, between each motion she
managed to smoothly recoup any headway he'd made by repeatedly
forcing his arm back to the starting position.  George's face got
even redder as he stepped up the pressure he exerted against her,
but Elaine continued to gaze at him with a radiant smile as she
held him off with embarrassing ease.  Jerry could she that George
was clearly giving it his best shot, but the doughy couch potato
was simply no match for the smaller, fitter, woman.  A giggle
erupted from Elaine's throat as she applied additional pressure
and pushed his hand down several inches.  George repeated the
jerking actions, but this time he only managed to get her arm up
to the starting position with each one, and between each one she
casually moved his arm right back down to where she'd had it.  To
further emphasize her clear superiority, Elaine placed her chin
on her left hand as she cocked her head to the side and fluttered
her eyelids at her struggling opponent; simultaneously forcing
his quivering arm down several more inches.  She held George at
this position for another minute of two, relishing each of his
muttered grunts and whimpers as he struggled futilely against her
obviously stronger arm.  Jerry continued to watch the one sided
competition with a look of awestruck admiration, and perhaps just

a little bit of fear?  Then, closing her eyes halfway to create a
sleepy expression, Elaine covered her mouth with her left hand as
she emitted a loud yawn and slammed George's hand down to the
counter top in defeat.

George yanked his hand free of hers and stood back with an angry,
dejected look on his face as she stood there addressing him with
a confident, catty grin.  His humiliation at losing to her was
several degrees worse than the usual, standard amount of abuse he
received from Elaine on a regular basis.  She put her arm back up
and turned her attention to Jerry.
"You wanna try me?  Let's do it to decide who picks the movie!"
she gloated at her former boyfriend.
"Movie...the movie!" Jerry suddenly blurted as he checked his
watch, "Hey, we've gotta get moving, no more time for games!" he
added, deftly changing the subject away from Elaine's challenge.
"Sure", Elaine teased, "now we've got to rush!"  But she didn't
press the issue with him, she'd already made her point, "but what
are we going to see?"
"I don't care, let's just get the hell outta here!" George roared
as he stomped through the door and into the hallway.
"No time to decide now, I guess we'll just check the marquee at
the multiplex and decide there." Jerry shrugged.  Elaine nodded
in agreement and began to follow him through the door.

"Besides", Jerry added as he turned to Elaine and zipped up his
jacket, "maybe Raul, that new guy in the building you're sweet on
will be there.  If he is, you can choose the same movie and sort
of 'bump' into him!"
"What?" Elaine shot back happily, "I'm not sweet on Raul!"
"Oh yes you are!" Jerry said slyly, "I've seen how you look at
him!"
"I am not sweet on him!" Elaine insisted, her growing smile
betraying the truth.
"Are too, are too, are too!" Jerry teased.
"GET OUT!!" Elaine screamed playfully as she brought her arms up
patty cake style, giving Jerry what she considered to be a quick,
gentle shove on the chest.  Jerry's arms flew up trying to give
him balance as he stumbled backwards from the force of Elaine's
"little" push.  Seeing he was in his friend's path, George braced
himself to catch Jerry and stop his tumble; but when the two of
them collided they both continued backwards across the hall,
still propelled by the force of Elaine's shove.  The two didn't
stop until they slammed into Kramer's door, or at least that's
where they would have stopped if Kramer hadn't, with impeccable
timing, decided to open his door at that precise moment to join
the movie going group. 
"Wha..ya...ya....wo...wo...heeeyyy!" Kramer shrieked in shock as
George and Jerry rammed into him and the three of them continued
stumbling back into Kramer's apartment, the momentum generated by
Elaine's push still not totally dissipated.  Elaine watched the
whole sequence gleefully, her eyes wide and bright with amused
satisfaction, both her hands over her mouth to stifle the rolls
of laughter moving up her throat as she nearly doubled over in

hysterics.  "The Domino Theory confirmed!" she thought to herself
whimsically.

The three hapless men continued to be projected backwards. 
Kramer's arms and legs flailed around in spastic attempts to
regain his balance and cease his retreating motion, but the mass
that was George and Jerry continued relentlessly in his direction
until Kramer's legs encountered his hassock; whereupon the trio
of stumblers finally tumbled to the floor.
"STRIKE!!" Elaine bleated out as she raced across the hall and
jumped atop the pile of men before they could recover and rise.
Jerry emitted a breathless "OOOF" as Elaine straddled his waist
and placed her hands on his shoulders, pinning him down.  She
didn't pin him to the floor exactly, rather she pinned him to
George, who was, of course, in turn pinned to Kramer, who was
actually the one pinned to the floor.  Jerry grabbed Elaine's
forearms with his hands but wasn't able to budge her powerful
arms even an inch, much less yank them off his shoulders.  Kramer
and George put their hands to the floor and pushed up, giving
Jerry what support they could, but Elaine just smiled and pressed
down gently as she effortlessly held the three larger men
securely pinned under her.  For good measure she tensed and
tightened her equally powerful legs around the captured trio to
further reinforce her control and dominant position over them. 

Elaine lifted her head and tossed her hair as a thoughtful
expression appeared on her face.
"This has real possibilities, guys, I think the four of us are
really gonna have some fun tonight!" she cackled, "Or, at least
I'm gonna have some fun!"
"Come on, Elaine, let us up or we'll miss the movie!" Jerry
pleaded as he and the others continued to struggle, but she
resisted them so easily she didn't even take notice of their
efforts.
"Oh, forget the movie!" she giggled, "This is gonna be a lot more
fun, and besides",  she added with a snicker, "the elevator's
broken anyway!!"   

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