The Worst Noel
By Autolycus, maynlinz@earthlink.net
A genetically altered woman battles a renegade elf to save Christmas.


This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to real persons is only a figment of
your imaginations. Let's face it, we all wish these babes were real! Anyway,
they're not, so go take a nice cold shower.

THE WORST NOEL

A BABES IN SPYLAND ADVENTURE

(c) 1998 Autolycus

CRACKED CANDY CANE

President Hemdale's brown eyes widened at the three words written on the small
piece of paper he'd just been handed by Margaret Whitley, his Personal
Assistant, and he hastily concluded his chatting with the heads of a number of
large corporations, several of which had made some substantial contributions
to Vice President Norwood's upcoming White House bid, and whispered "Convene
an emergency meeting of the Cabinet right away" as he and Ms. Whitley exited
the room.

"Already done, sir," she replied. "And Dr. Norwood is on her way from Vermont;
she should be here within the hour."

"Have I told you lately how wonderful you are, Maggie?" he smiled as the pair
walked briskly through the halls of the place Linus Hemdale had regarded as
both his home and office nearly seven years.

"Not in the last 27 minutes, sir," she said, barely stifling a grin.

* * * * *

President Hemdale looked around the table at the faces of the men and women he
had turned to for advice and support many times in the past and sadly shook
his head. Linus Hemdale was a still handsome man in his late sixties. He had
dark hair that was getting more gray with each passing day, and kindly brown
eyes set in a face with finely chiseled features, dominated by a hawk-like
nose. "My friends, the news came in today that we have a 'cracked candy
cane,'" he said quietly.

"Is that an insect invasion?" asked the Secretary of Agriculture.

"No, Herbert, that's a 'Tijuana taxi,'" answered the Secretary of Defense.

"Then, what's a cracked candy cane?" inquired the Secretary of Energy.

"A joke," harrumphed General Armitage Winsome, Secretary of Homeland Defense
and head of the Aegis Group.

"It's no joke, general," said Hemdale, shaking his head. "Ladies and
gentlemen, it is my sad duty to report that Santa Claus has been taken hostage
and, unless he's rescued, there will be no Christmas this year."

"Ridiculous," snorted the Secretary of Education. "Most people have already
done their shopping."

"Is that all Christmas is to you, Francine? Presents?" asked Dr. Norwood,
entering the room and hanging up her snow-covered jacket.

"Of course not, Phoebe," the other woman snapped. "But I don't see how the
existence, let alone the fate, of one man can stop something like Christmas
from occurring."

"And, what about those of us who are Jewish or Buddhist?" pointed out the
Secretary of Health and Human Services.

"Listen, all of you, Christmas, whether we like it or not," Hemdale said,
looking directly at General Winsome, "is the most important season of the
year, worldwide. Sure, it has become sickeningly commercialized over the past
century, but the true meaning of Christmas, of what Saint Nicholas stands for,
is still there, buried beneath all the glitter and toy commercials and plastic
nativity scenes. And that, my friends, is what Santa represents, and why his
loss is of grave concern to not only the United States, but to the world as a
whole. Without him, the real person of Santa Claus, there would be no
difference between Christmas and any other holiday; it would just be another
day you didn't get mail."

"And, without him, that feeling of goodwill and generosity that drives the
holiday shopping season would dwindle and eventually die," added Dr. Norwood,
taking her seat beside Hemdale. "Resulting in the loss of thousands of jobs
and billions of dollars in sales. In short, people, the economic crisis which
followed would make the one suffered by Asia in the late 90's look mild in
comparison. The entire world would experience a 'monetary winter' which could
well end up in the destruction of life as we know it."

"With all due respect, Madame Vice President, poppycock," said Winsome,
locking eyes with the woman who might one day be his boss. "Those of us who
know about Claus have considered him not only superfluous for years, but a
dangerous wildcard for this very reason."

"What do you mean?" prodded the Attorney General.

"The sooner we wean ourselves of this human aspect of the holiday, the
better," the general said bluntly. "The mere fact of his existence makes it
possible for a crisis like this to happen. Eliminate him, and we can
concentrate on maintaining the economic prosperity the season brings in
without having to worry that he'll be sick or killed or taken hostage or,
worse yet, rebel against the crass commercialization of the season himself and
urge everyone to stop buying gifts and just love each other, or some other
tree-hugging nonsense." He folded his arms across his chest and glared
defiantly at the others.

A flurry of discussion started and Hemdale listened with growing alarm as most
of his Cabinet seemed to be siding with the General's position.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing!" he finally exclaimed, after the Secretary
of Veteran's Affairs actually suggested sending in troops to assassinate Santa
and then blame his death on his present captor. "Santa must be saved, whatever
the cost. That point is not debatable. What I convened this meeting to discuss
were the options available for achieving that purpose. Now, does anyone have a
suggestion?"

"I do," smiled Dr, Norwood, directing her gaze over to General Winsome and
enjoying his reaction as she told the President her idea.

* * * * *

Jessica Chance stood before the desk in the oval office, a bit nervous about
actually meeting the President for the first time, but also very curious as to
what could be so important as to require his personal attention at this busy
time of year. She was a beautiful young woman in her mid-twenties, with long
red hair, piercing green eyes, and a perfect, and very female, body.

"What can you tell me about Santa Claus, Ms. Chance?" Hemdale asked casually
without looking up from the stack of papers on his desk.

"Well, he's the American version of St. Nicholas, taken from the Dutch 'Sinte
Klaas.' The original Dutch settlers in New Amsterdam brought his cult to
America," she began, recalling the lessons from her childhood training at the
hands of the Angel Team. "Saint Nicholas, whose Greek name is Hagios Nikolaos,
was Archbishop of Myra. He was born in the city of Patara, and traveled to
Palestine and Egypt when he was young. He was imprisoned during the
persecutions of the Emperor Diocletian, but later released by Emperor
Constantine. He attended the first council of Nicaea in 325 and died around
350 AD. His identification with gift-giving comes from a legend in which he
surreptitiously gives gifts to the three daughters of a poor man, who, being
unable to provide dowries for them, is about to abandon them to a life of
sin."

"Very impressive, Ms. Chance," nodded the President, raising his eyes to hers.
"And very accurate, except for the date of his death."

"No one is completely sure when he died, sir, which is why I said around 350
AD. That date is based on the writings of Saint Basil of Caesarea, a
contemporary of Nicholas," she replied, a bit confused.

"With all due respect to Saint Basil, Ms. Chance, the date is wrong for the
simple reason that Saint Nicholas never died. He's still alive and living at
the North Pole," Hemdale said without cracking a smile.

Jessica blinked slowly and then added, "With a community of elves, I suppose,
sir."

"Yes, and his wife, of course," replied Hemdale, watching her face.

"You're serious," she stated after a moment.

"Deadly. I don't have time to go into all the details right now, Ms. Chance,
but this should answer all your questions," he said, handing her a sealed
manilla envelope with "ALPHA CLASSIFICATION" and "EYES ONLY" stamped in bright
red ink on it. "In the meantime, what I can tell you is that Santa, his wife,
and the elves have been taken hostage by a former disgruntled employee, and,
unless we can somehow rescue him, and the others, Christmas, indeed, life as
we know it, will never be the same. Our very way of life is in jeopardy, Ms.
Chance, not to mention the economic well-being of our great nation, and our
allies." He stood up and walked around the desk and put his arm around her
shoulders. "I have a plane standing by to take you to the North Pole. Good
luck, Ms. Chance."

"I'll do my best, Mr. President," Jessica replied automatically, even though
her mind was awhirl with the news she'd just received.

"I know you will. The world itself is counting on you, Ms. Chance," he said,
escorting her to the door where an armed guard was waiting.

* * * * *

As the plane zoomed over Canadian airspace, Jessi took the opportunity to read
the file she'd been given and her amazement only grew as she discovered that
while on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem in 349 AD, the man who would later be known
as Santa Claus had nearly died in a rockslide, but instead had been
miraculously rescued by aliens, or, as he would come to call them:
Extra-terrestrial Life Forms, aka, ELFs. The ELFs turned out to be benign
creatures who basically looked like miniature, if somewhat androgynous, humans
and they had also proved to be extremely receptive to his message of the love
of God. Nicholas discovered that his hosts shared his belief in a God of love
and had come to Earth seeking others who believed likewise.

One result of his rescue and treatment by the ELFs was that he was now
essentially immortal. He could still be killed, but he wouldn't die of natural
causes for thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of years. Another result
was that, since his recovery took over five hundred Earth years, but seemed
more like a few months to the confused human, he didn't return to Earth until
around 900 AD. With the help of his ELF friends, he resumed the practice of
anonymously giving gifts to those in need which had earned him the status of a
saint, he was embarrassed to discover. His fame spread rapidly in the Middle
Ages and thousands of churches were dedicated to him. He has been the patron
saint of Russia, Moscow, Greece, children, sailors, prisoners, bakers,
pawnbrokers, shopkeepers and wolves.

She read about how, with the help of the ELFs, Santa Claus officially began
the practice of the Christmas Eve gift exchange on December 25th, 988 AD, and
has continued it to the present.

Jessica discovered how he met his wife and how the kindly ELFs likewise made
her an immortal, about how they decided on the North Pole and the construction
of the vast underground complex where all the toys are developed and
manufactured--To her astonishment, she learned that Santa was able to finance
this incredible enterprise because he is secretly a major stockholder in every
toy company in the world, no matter how big or small. She also read of Santa's
first contact with the governments of the world, beginning with Russia in 998
AD, including the newly formed nation of America in a historic meeting with
President Washington in 1791, and continuing to the present with every new
regime that came into existence.

But as fascinating as she found Santa's own history to be, she was even more
interested in the relationship which had led to his current troubles: His
partnership with the ELFs. Or, rather, one ELF in particular, Noel.

Noel, she read, had ultimately been the result of the inevitable discovery
that humans and ELFs could mate and produce offspring. The first ELF-Human
hybrids had, unfortunately, been ostracized by the North Pole ELFs--Without
Santa's knowledge, or approval, it should be pointed out. Forced to flee the
contempt of their cousins, the tiny people had traveled to Scandinavia and
then on to Ireland, England, and finally the European Continent, giving rise
to all sorts of stories about Dwarfs, Leprechauns, Pixies, and other mythic
creatures. They got work in circuses and as jesters in kingdoms and exploited
their tiny frames as much as they were in turn exploited, surviving as best
they could and, in the process, breeding and producing offspring with the
humans until the children grew to look more like humans than their ELF
ancestors, apart from their distinctly pointed ears and violet eyes.

Jessica learned that amid the turmoil of the twentieth century, Santa
discovered the truth of their banishment and invited all of the original
outcasts, as well as their myriad descendants, to return to the North Pole.
Nearly all of the first-generation hybrids chose to return, and so did a good
number of their more human-looking descendants. But some of the North Pole
ELFs who had gone out to retrieve their cousins' descendants chose to remain
among the humans.

Noel was among this group.

The report concluded:

She had been born in the late twelfth century and never known life as anything
but an ELF. When she learned about the world of the humans, and how they
regarded Santa and her people as nothing more than quaint myths, she had
decided to stay, and lived in New England from the late 1950's until this
year.

During her stay among the humans, a curious fact was discovered: The more time
ELFs spend with humans, the more they physically resemble them. Thus, while
Noel entered the world as a diminutive and somewhat androgynous alien, she
left it looking like a beautiful human female in her mid-twenties.

(Jessi looked appreciatively at the somewhat exotic, but very beautiful, young
woman in the accompanying photograph which had been taken shortly before her
disappearance in mid-July as part of the store's pre-Christmas promotion
campaign.)

She was happy in her life in New England, according to all reports, and no one
is quite sure what exactly prompted her to take the drastic measures she did.
Nevertheless, shortly after the Christmas displays appeared in stores this
year--Including the one where she had worked for over ten years--right after
St. Valentine's Day, as usual, she had begun to complain about the
exploitation of 'her people' and to question the sincerity of the entire
Christmas enterprise. She disappeared from New England and showed up at the
North Pole in mid-July. She seemed fairly happy to be back, although she
openly criticized Santa and her own people for contributing to the
commercialization of Christmas. Then, early yesterday morning, December 18th,
2011, the US government received confirmation from operatives within Claus'
organization that Santa, his wife, and the majority of the ELFs had been taken
unawares and imprisoned by Noel. Her intentions remain unknown at this time.

Jessica quickly scanned the sketchy report on the complex's defenses and then
was informed by a Secret Service agent that her jump horizon was approaching.
She handed the file to the agent and then slipped into her parachute as he
incinerated the documents into a fine ash that he made sure was scattered to
the Northern winds when he opened the hatch.

Jessi adjusted her goggles and then, receiving the signal from the agent,
jumped out into the gray sky.

* * * * *

It was snowing when she landed. Hard. Visibility was practically nil. But
using a homing device she'd obtained from the SS agent, she was able to make
her way through the frozen landscape until she reached a clearly unnatural
break in the monotony of the terrain. As she topped a small rise, she suddenly
saw a large red and white striped pole rising from the ice. A sign, written in
English and painted with black paint, proclaimed that it was the North Pole.
Jessica tensed, knowing that the defenses she'd read about would be in this
area. She pulled a pair of night-vision goggles from her parka and scanned the
area, but she saw no signs of anything suspicious or unusual, apart from the
pole itself.

She cautiously made her way down the snowy slope and then froze when she saw a
half-dozen figures emerge from the area around the pole. They were vaguely
humanoid, with a clearly defined, if overly circular, head and torso, but
where legs should have been was instead a round ball. Coal black eyes that
didn't blink appeared on the heads, as well as black top hats, which seemed to
sprout from within the things, along with crooked sticks where arms should
have been.

"You must be the Sentinel and Neutralizing Operatives Who Maintain
Environmental Necessity," the redhead quipped, watching to see what the
SNOWMEN would do.

Soundlessly, they bent over and began to scoop up snow into their claw-like
stick hands, forming it into compact balls.

Jessica dove aside as six snowballs slammed into the spot she'd been standing
moments ago and leaped into the air, landing on the nearest Snowman and
causing him to burst apart, his arms and hat eerily melting into the
surrounding snow upon being separated from the body.

Then, the other five launched a fresh barrage of snowballs at her and she was
forced to run back up the slope. Even so, one of the projectiles connected,
hitting her square in the back, and, even through the thick parka, causing her
to grunt in pain as she was thrown forward. She barely managed to stay on her
feet. When she looked back, she was horrifed to see that the Snowman she'd
'destroyed' was emerging from the snow and reforming itself.

She dove over the top of the rise and by the time she turned around all six of
the Snowmen had dissolved back into the snow.

"This is going to be harder than I thought," Jessica huffed, blowing a stray
lock of hair up off her forehead.

* * * * *

As Jessica topped the rise once more the Snowmen formed themselves and
immediately began to make snowballs. But this time Jessi wasn't on foot. She
was riding a hoverboard from her backpack--Which had been included to help
with the transport of supplies; sort of like a dogsled, minus the dogs--and,
dodging the deadly projectiles, she swerved in and around the Snowmen, causing
them to throw their icy missiles at each other in their attempts to hit her.
She also scooped up snow herself as she whizzed through them and started
throwing snowballs of her own.

Just as she'd hoped, when struck by a snowball, a Snowman would burst and not
reform itself. At least, not immediately. As she deftly caught a hurled
snowball, she grabbed the red and white pole and swung herself around and then
threw it at the sole remaining guard, destroying him. But the redhead had no
doubt that, in time, the snowy sentinels would reform. However, she wasn't
planning on being around when that happened.

She jumped off the board and then walked over to the large white and red pole
and, opening a hinged compartment near the base, revealed a computer screen
and keypad. She quickly typed in the word "YULETIDE," hoping that Noel hadn't
changed the access code, and was relieved to see a green light flash and the
snow around the pole drop away as a trap door opened and revealed a sloping
stairway.

Without hesitation, she descended and the door slid shut above her. She
panicked for a moment, but then a row of lights flickered to life over her
head and she continued down the stairway. From the signs of unuse, she
gathered that this was a little used entrance, which might also explain why
Noel hadn't thought to change its code. She figured it must be strictly an
access tunnel for the maintenance of the complex's defenses and that it likely
hadn't been used in many years.

The main exit, she reasoned as she approached a heavy metal door, must be the
one Santa uses when he and the reindeer leave every Christmas Eve.

The door opened with difficulty, further proof that it was seldom used, and
beyond it was an enormous cavern filled with countless machines. But it was
dark and the machines were quiet. Jessi approached one and wasn't surprised to
find that it had a pile of toys sitting in front of it. As she wandered
through the workshop, she passed dozens of similar piles, all of different
toys. She also noticed that each still machine bore a colorful sign
proclaiming which ELF ran it and the toy it produced.

Then, her keen ears heard the sound of someone softly crying and she made her
way to the side of the workshop and found a door. The sobbing seemed to be
coming from behind it.

She cautiously opened the door and discovered a small being, dressed in green,
wearing a pointy hat and shoes, who looked up in fear at her with large violet
eyes.

"I won't hurt you," Jessi said quickly. "I'm here to rescue Santa."

The little being looked beyond her, back into the dark workshop. "Where are
the others?" it asked brightly.

"It's just me. My name is Jessica," she replied, extending her hand.

The ELF's face fell. "Just you?"

"Just me. But don't worry, I'm not exactly your average human," she smiled.

The ELF's mouth wrinkled and its purplish eyes narrowed. "I'm Merry," it said,
taking Jessi's hand and shaking it.

"Um, forgive me for asking, but...are you male or female?" Jessi inquired.

Merry drew itself up haughtily and placed its little hands on its hips. "I'm a
female, of course," she snapped. "And considered quite lovely by the males of
my race, I'll have you know."

Jessica sheepishly nodded. "Yes, I can see that now," she said, thinking that
Merry looked like a human just beginning puberty, with tiny breasts just
starting to form. "Do you know where Santa is being held?"

"Noel has locked Santa and Mrs. Claus and all the rest of my people in the
reindeer stables," Merry answered.

"Can you take me there?" the redhead asked, removing her parka, since the
underground complex was well-heated, and revealing that she was wearing a
skin-tight white bodysuit beneath it. Merry nodded, but her violet eyes were
drawn to Jessi's rather prominent breasts. Then, she looked down at her own
rather flat chest and scowled. "What about Noel? Do you know where she is, or
what her plans are?"

"I think she's in the command center," the ELF said timidly. "I hid in this
closet as soon as I realized what she was doing to Santa and the others. I
meant to rescue them, but I couldn't think of any way to do it without hurting
anyone, and my people don't believe in violence."

"Well, I don't believe in violence, either, Merry," Jessi said, rummaging
through her backpack. "But it's been my experience that sometimes the only way
to reach people is by kicking their ass until they get the hint that what
they're doing is wrong."

"Noel could definitely use a good ass-kicking," Merry agreed with an impish
smile. "But now that her magic is coming back, that won't be easy."

"What do you mean? What magic?"

"So long as we're up here, in this complex, my people are able to draw on the
power of the Spirit of Christmas and perform what you humans regard as magic,"
Merry explained.

"What's this 'Spirit of Christmas'?"

"That's what we renamed our spaceship. Technically, the power comes from the
ship's power source, a white hole."

"The US government has been working on a way to capture, or possibly
artificially create, a black hole to power a spaceship, but I've never heard
of any attempts to do so with a white hole," Jessica offered. "I wasn't even
aware their existence had been confirmed beyond the theoretical stage."

"They're real, and quite common in the solar system my people are originally
from," Merry confirmed. "And, if you know how, they can help you do magic."

"If all of your people can do magic, how did Noel manage to overcome them,
especially if she's just getting that ability back herself?" Jessi asked,
opening the door to the closet and checking to see if they'd been discovered
yet.

"She drugged them. And she flooded the workshop with sleeping gas. I was
fortunate enough to notice my fellows passing out and made it to this closet
before I succumbed. I was apparently overlooked when she was rounding up the
rest of our people," Merry explained.

Jessica regarded the diminutive alien thoughtfully for a moment and then,
having made up her mind to trust her, asked, "Will you take me to the reindeer
stables? Our first concern should be freeing Santa and the rest. Maybe he can
talk some sense into her."

"I doubt it, but he might be able to talk some sense into Chris," the Elf
added casually.

"Who's Chris?"

"Chris is more a 'what' than a 'who,' strictly speaking," Merry said as the
pair made their way through the deserted workshop. "Chris is our ship, the
Spirit of Christmas. But he insists that we call him Chris."

"Your ship is alive?" Jessi asked.

"Not in the conventional sense, but the computer that operates it is
practically a sentient being and indistinguishable from the ship itself,"
Merry whispered, following Jessi through the darkness. "He also controls the
Space and Land Efficacious and Indestructible Gravity-defying Habitat."

"Santa's SLEIGH," Jessi mused aloud. Merry nodded. "Wait...why would Santa
need to talk some sense into Chris?"

"Noel has convinced him that humans have lost sight of the true meaning of
Christmas, that they've perverted it from a celebration of selfless love into
a sex- and money-driven orgy of capitalism run amok. You haven't...have you?"
Merry asked, gazing up at Jessica questioningly.

Jessica bit her lower lip thoughtfully and absently twirled her hair around
her right index finger. "Some humans have tried to do that, Merry, but there
are still people who know what Christmas is really all about; men and women,
and boys and girls, who observe the Christmas spirit all through the year by
doing all they can to help their fellow humans, and, during the holiday season
especially, they're volunteering their time and money to make sure that those
less fortunate than themselves are able to enjoy this very special time, too,"
she answered. "I just wish there were more of them."

"Forget Santa, Jessica, you've got to tell that to Chris, and Noel, and
convince them to release Santa or it won't matter if he's free or not," Merry
said suddenly. "If you can't convince Chris that the Christmas spirit is still
observed and celebrated, Christmas is doomed."

Jessica sighed and looked around her at the silent machines and the piles of
toys and slowly nodded. "All right, Merry, take me to the control room," she
said, her green eyes glinting with determination. "It's time I met Noel and
straightened her out."

The ELF smiled and veered to the right, heading for a spiral staircase.

* * * * *

"We've got company, Mistress," intoned the voice of the computer, sounding
like a cross between Johnny Mathis and Bing Crosby.

"Show me," commanded Noel, looking from the computer screen she was working
with to the large viewscreen which dominated one of the walls. The image
changed from the stables, where Santa and Mrs. Claus sat amidst hundreds of
unconscious ELFs, to a hallway, down which walked a redhead Noel had never
seen before and one of several missing ELFs. "I wonder which government was
foolish enough to challenge us, eh, Chris?"

"My money's on England or America, Mistress, none of the others would bother,"
Chris replied. "The only question is what was she sent to do: rescue Santa, or
eliminate him?"

"Well, whatever her mission, she won't be completing it. We need Santa to get
people to realize what a joke Christmas has become and renounce the current
commercialized travesty to the whole world, or Christmas, the way it used to
be, the way it was meant to be, is doomed," she said. "It looks like she's
here to rescue him, since she's obviously heading our way. If she intended to
whack him, she'd be heading for the stables."

"She's not armed, Mistress. I did a complete scan and she's not packing so
much as a nail file," the computer informed her.

"This won't take long at all, then, will it?" Noel laughed, swinging around
and facing the door to the control room.

When it swung open a moment later, before Jessi or Merry could make a move,
invisible hands picked them up and restrained them.

"Careful, Chris," said Noel, standing up and approaching the struggling pair.
"We don't want to hurt them."

Jessica glared at the ELF approaching and had to admit that the photo hadn't
begun to do her justice. She was stunning, with large, violet eyes, an elfin
nose, and bow-shaped lips. Her short hair was fairly dark, but with definite
blonde strands running through it. Her hourglass figure looked like it had
been poured into a very sexy version of Santa's suit, but instead of pants,
she was wearing red fishnet stockings. Also, the neck on her dress plunged
daringly downward, exposing a very ample chest. Were it not for her large,
pointed ears, she could have easily passed for a human.

"You're making a mistake, Noel," Jessi grunted in the grip of the computer's
forcefield. "I'm here to help you."

"Of course you are. And you," she sneered, grabbing Merry's cheeks with one
hand and slightly shaking her head. "I was worried about you. I'm so glad you
decided to surrender."

The chair behind Noel suddenly shot forward, but the alien heard it coming and
turned and raised one curvaceous leg and stopped it with her booted foot. "I'm
surprised, Merry. That was almost violent. Not as violent as this," she
suddenly lashed out and slapped her hard across her tiny face, "but more
violent than I expected from one of my people."

"Leave her alone!" Jessi snarled.

"Don't worry, once I've dealt with you, I plan on drugging her and locking her
up with the others...until I convince them that what I'm doing is for the good
of all of us, including you humans," Noel said, casually walking over and
standing in front of Jessica. "But what to do with you?"

"I know exactly what I want to do with you. Take this forcefield off and let
me show you," Jessica said with quiet menace.

"Careful, Mistress, her brain scans reveal an unusually high operational
percentage," Chris cautioned.

"Can she use the white hole?" Noel asked, more curious than alarmed.

"I don't believe so, Mistress. While her brain may be unusually powerful for a
human, she is still a human, after all," the computer pointed out.

"You're not suggesting she's clever enough to trick me into defeat, are you,
Chris?" Noel purred.

"Of course not, Mistress. I was just making you aware of her unusual
physiology."

Noel studied Jessica for a few moments and then simply said, "Release her."
She backed up as Jessica shook off the effects of the forcefield. "Okay,
human, show me what you can do."

Without taking her eyes off Noel, she concentrated on the forcefield
generators concealed in the floor and ceiling and they compressed in on
themselves until they exploded, releasing Merry.

"I thought you said she couldn't use the power of the white hole?!" Noel
yelped.

"She didn't, Mistress. She did that on her own."

"On her own...how is that possible?" Noel demanded.

"I've got lots of tricks," Jessica grinned. Suddenly, Noel was knocked off her
feet and sent crashing into the computer console.

"I've got some tricks of my own!" the infuriated ELF screamed. This time, it
was the redhead who was picked up and hurled into a row of computer screens.
Then, before Jessi could retaliate, what felt like a steel beam smashed into
the side of her head and she flew across the room, landing at Noel's feet.
"You're no match for me, human." Jessica's body floated to its feet and then
flew backwards into the wall next to the door. Then, up into the ceiling and
down to the floor. Hard. "See?"

Suddenly, one of the computer screens flew up and struck Noel in the face,
knocking her backwards.

"She may not be, but I am!" Merry exclaimed, sending another monitor at the
off-balance ELF and catching her in the chest and gut. A third one to the head
finally knocked her to her back.

"Oh, no, my dear Merry, you most definitely are NOT!" Noel shrieked. Merry
suddenly felt herself lifted off her feet and hurled into the wall behind her.
Then, while still trying to catch her breath, she was tossed across the room
and landed awkwardly on a pile of smashed computer equipment. Before she could
so much as raise her head, every other computer and monitor in the room flew
from its position and dropped on top of her. "Now, be a good little ELF and
stay out of this!"

Jessica had meanwhile struggled to her feet and was in the process of taking a
more direct approach by attempting to nail Noel with a chair, when Chris
called out a warning. The redhead was instantly thrown across the room to land
on top of the pile of debris atop Merry.

"I really don't want to hurt you, human, but I must admit that I am enjoying
this," Noel smiled wickedly.

"Careful, Mistress, lest you become too emotional to control the power of the
white hole," Chris cautioned.

"I'm in perfect control of my emotions, Chris. No need to worry on that
score," she replied, walking slowly toward where Jessica was groaning in pain.

"What does he mean?" Jessi gasped, seeing Merry's battered face below her.

"In order to draw upon the power of the white hole, one must be calm and
rational, strong emotions of any kind cause a disturbance in our brains which
prohibit us from utilizing the white hole's energy," Merry coughed.

Jessica smiled and concentrated on Noel as she stood over her.

A strange look covered the alien's face and she began to wiggle all over.
"What is that sensation? What are you doing to me?" she panted, running her
hands across her breasts.

"Just trying to get you in the mood, Noel," the redhead grinned, standing up
and leaning against the ELF, pressing her own breasts firmly against those of
the alien while her hands slid up beneath the white fur trim of the red dress,
in between Noel's legs. Jessi then pressed her lips to those of the ELF and
took her lolling tongue inside her mouth and sucked on it erotically as her
fingers continued to caress her pussy through the alien's soaked panties.

When the redhead finally released her tongue and slid her lips down her neck
and into the cleavage between her breasts, Noel managed to gasp out, "In the
mood for what?"

"For this!" Jessi growled, suddenly pulling her hands free and ramming her
knee up and into Noel's crotch hard enough to strike bone. The alien screamed
in unexpected agony and Jessica thrust her left fist deep into her belly and
then, when she doubled over, brought her right fist up and connected it
solidly with her chin. As Noel staggered backwards, Jessi reached out and
grabbed her by the point of her plunging V neckline and pulled the ELF onto
her raised left knee, which caught her in the ribs.

"Clear your mind, Mistress!" Chris shouted. "Before it's too late!"

"It's already too late," Jessica smiled wolfishly, bending over and throwing
her shoulder into Noel's tummy. She then lifted the ELF off her feet
completely and flipped her over onto her back, on the pile of destroyed
computer equipment which Merry had just crawled out from underneath. Noel
groaned and tried to sit up, only to shake her head and fall to her back
again.

"Need some help?" Jessi said mockingly, reaching out and grabbing a handful of
her dark hair. She hauled the dazed woman to her feet and then punched her
hard in the gut once more before cocking her right arm back for the knockout
blow. But she paused and then looked over to where Merry stood, adjusting her
cap and wiping the blood--Which was dark green in color--from her lips and
instead spun Noel around, still holding her up by the hair, and said, "You do
it, Merry. You knock her out."

"Me?" the ELF said, her violet eyes opening wide in shock. "I-I couldn't! It
wouldn't be right."

"Don't you want to pay her back for hitting you and dumping all that junk on
you?" Jessica asked, pulling tightly on Noel's hair and shaking her head
slightly.

"Part of me does," Merry confessed.

"Listen to that part and let her have it!" Jessi encouraged. "If you don't, I
will, and it will hurt her a lot more if I do it."

Merry considered that and then nodded. "That's the spirit!" Jessi grinned,
forcing Noel to her knees so the smaller ELF could reach her face.

"It's certainly not the Christmas spirit," Chris observed as Merry's fist
swung around and connected with enough power to rip Noel's hair from Jessi's
grasp and send her sprawling atop the electronic debris pile. She landed on
her stomach, with her beautiful, round ass sticking up in the air, revealing
her red panties, and the dark stains on them.

"Whoa. Then again, maybe it would have hurt less if I'd hit her," Jessica
laughed, ruffling Merry's hair as the ELF tried to shake the stinging feeling
from her hand.

"Fine, you've defeated Noel, but Christmas still won't happen," Chris informed
them, appearing on the viewscreen as a handsome, exotic looking man with
violet eyes and pointed ears. "Not so long as people don't respect what it's
really all about."

"But they do, Chris," said Jessica. "Maybe not everyone, but a lot of people
do. And, what's even more undeniable is that even more people do during the
Christmas season. This time of year, more than any other, people go out of
their way to help others, to look out for their fellows, and to just be a
little bit nicer to each other. And I realize now that that's because of Santa
and what he represents. His generosity is an example to all of us and the
world is a better place each year because he exists and cares enough to see
that every child gets a toy on Christmas. It may not seem like much when we
grow up, but it makes all the difference in the world to a child."

Jessica looked over to where Noel was sitting up and rubbing her chin. "I
won't lie and tell you that the whole world is doing Christmas justice, but I
can promise you this: If you stop Christmas, even for a single year, the world
will definitely be the worse for it," the redhead said, laying an arm on
Merry's shoulder to prevent her from going over and hitting Noel again.
"Children who don't get presents will forget the joy it brings and lose,
possibly forever, the true meaning of Christmas. People will lose their jobs
and the world will suffer an economic backlash that could well bring about the
end of civilization as we know it."

Jessica walked over and helped Noel to her feet. "I won't lie and say that
Christmas hasn't become far too driven by greed, when it should be motivated
by love, and maybe Noel is right that something drastic needs to be done," she
said, encircling the ELF's waist with her arm and steadying her. "But stopping
Christmas isn't the answer. This change happened slowly, it can't be fixed
overnight. Perhaps if you all work with Santa, you can come up with ways to
get people to realize what a sad joke Christmas has become and figure out a
way to restore its dignity. What do you say? Chris? Noel?"

"I'm game, Jessica. If there's a way to remind people of the true meaning of
Christmas, rest assured that we will come up with it, won't we, Noel?" Chris
asked.

"You're right. Both of you. It's just that when I saw how you humans had
perverted the holiday, and twisted it round until it was practically
unrecognizable from the wonderful vision Saint Nicholas originally shared with
my people, I went a little crazy," Noel said quietly. "I'm sorry, Merry."

"I'm sorry, too, Noel. I shouldn't have hit you," Merry said. "Or at least not
that hard."

Jessica and Noel laughed and all three women hugged each other as the lights
went on in the workshop; the toy machines hummed to life; the reindeer stables
unlocked; the rest of the ELFs woke up; Santa and Mrs. Claus, who had watched
the entire confrontation and listened to Jessi's speech via a video monitor in
the stables, cried and hugged one another; and Elvis Presley's voice rang out
of speakers all throughout the complex with his version of "Here Comes Santa
Claus."

The End

Happy Holidays!

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