Tosha III by Tom Adams

A racial slur sets off a weekend of fighting, sex and death.

The door closes behind her. A guard at a central location pushes a button and Tosha can hear the deadbolts sliding into place up and down the hallway. The building doesn't look like a prison. There is not a wall or barbed wire, just a tall, chain linked fence. It looks like a large school building. But it is a prison. Tosha looks out the window and thinks back to a time almost five years ago. Another world. Another life.

After Tosha's breakup with Ted she quickly finds a new boyfriend. Bob. Like Ted he's on the college football team, first string running back.  He's also a handsome, six foot tall, blue eyed blond, hunk. Everything's going fine until Alice starts flirting with Bob. Tosha and Alice have a lot in common. They're both cheerleaders, both five feet two, both have large breasts, both lift weights at the same gym and both have sexy and extremely strong legs, arms and shoulders.

The girls are at the gym one night doing two hundred pound squats with a high number of repetitions. They finish at about the same time. Alice walks over to her rival and gets up real close. Their faces can't be more than two inches apart. Their large breasts are actually touching. They're both wearing t-shirts with no bra and they're nipple to nipple. Tosha has a feeling the conversation is not going to be a pleasant one. 

"Nigger, I want Bob. Now, you have two choices. You can fade away quietly, or I can humiliate you in a test of strength and then you can fade away quietly. Which will it be?"

Tosha is one of the few Afro-Americans at the college. She has run into subtle racism on a lot of occasions. But she's only been called a "nigger" one other time and she beat the shit out of the girl who did it.

Tosha clinches her fist but remains outwardly calm.

"Neither," replies Tosha.

Alice looks Tosha over carefully. They can both feel the tension. Almost taste it. Both girls are also wearing cut off jeans that come almost up to their butts. They've just finished their squats and the muscles in their legs are really pumped. Bulging.

"Nigger, I think my legs are stronger than yours. I challenge you to a mutual scissors hold contest. Whoever wins gets Bob. And since we won't be using our fists, no one's face gets roughed up. Although I will break every rib in your black body."

"Actually, it's medium brown, Alice. And I don't like the idea. You have everything to gain, nothing to lose. With me it's just the opposite. I don't back away from a fight, but this has nothing to do with Bob. It's about you and me. Period. Even if you lose, you can still go after Bob. And if I lose, I'll do the same. That's his decision, not ours."

Alice is taken off guard. Wow! This little nigger can really think fast. But once I humiliate her, she'll change her mind.

"Very well, Tosha."

"When and where?, Alice." 

"My car's in the shop for a week, Tosha. Why don't you pick me up at two o'clock Saturday and we'll go to a nice secluded spot in the woods."

"Thanks for using my name, bitch. Why go way out in the woods?"

"Because we're going to hold this contest in the nude, nigger."

The fury in Tosha's eyes would concern most people. Alice doesn't seem to let it bother her.

"Why in the nude?"

Now Alice really gets in Tosha's face. Their noses almost touch.

"So I can see the pain in your black body when your ribs start to break."

Alice turns quickly and walks out of the gym. But when she gets to the door she turns around, smiles at Tosha and mouths the word "nigger."

With Alice gone, Tosha lets her emotions go and starts shaking with rage. 

No! No! This is just what she wants, me so psyched out I can't think straight during this contest. And there's going to be more of the same on Saturday. Car in the shop. Bull shit. She wants to ride with me all the way out to where the fuck we're going so she can use the "n" word at least twenty times. And what the fuck is a "mutual scissors hold?" Well, Alice, two can play at this game. By the time we get there, I won't be the only one shaking with rage.

2:00pm Saturday. Tosha arrives at Alice's apartment.

"Well, nigger, at least you can be on time. Just head straight down this road. I'll tell you when to turn. Is that too complicated? Do you want me to drive?"

"Great idea, Alice! It has automatic transmission, power steering, power breaks. I'm sure you can handle it. And after all, you know the directions. Great idea, Alice. Just perfect."

Tosha tosses Alice the keys, jumps out of the car and heads for the passenger seat. Alice is sort of trapped. She can't think of a good reason not to drive. Oh shit. Gotta hand it to her. She aced me on that one. Now I'm going to have trouble keeping eye contact. That, of course, is why the little nigger pulled this stunt.

The next few moments are silent. Alice wants to make sure she fully understands how to drive this particular car perfectly. One little mistake and Tosha will laugh all the way to their destination in the woods. Tosha is the first to speak.

"Have you ever fucked Bob, Alice?"

"Why do you want to know, nigger?"

"Just curious. I hear you white girls don't really know how."

Alice is almost shaking with rage. She starts to say something. Changes her mind. Decides she lost the upper hand when they changed seats. They both remain silent for the rest of the trip. Tosha welcomes the quiet. Yawns, which further irritates Alice.

They turn off the main highway and drive on an abandoned dirt road until it dead ends in a wooded area, then get out of the car and walk about a half a mile to a clearing.

"Now we take off our clothes, nigger."

Tosha yawns again.

"Sounds like the best way to get naked to me, Alice. Oh, by the way, you never did answer that question about fucking Bob."

Alice gives up. Decides she might not even use the "n" word again. She is totally exasperated at the control Tosha has over her own emotions.

The two women walk into the sunlight of the clearing. Their bodies, one white, the other brown provide quite a contrast. The day is almost hot and a slight layer of sweat reflects the sun off their large muscles. Both women are powerful and strikingly beautiful. Tosha glances down at Alice's thighs and notices they are slightly larger than hers. But she knows that "slightly" larger will not be enough. It's going to come down to will power and determination.

"How do we get in position for a mutual leg scissors?" ask Tosha.

"It's fairly simple. I will lay down on my back. You will lay face down on top of me, but in a reverse position. We'll be belly to belly, but your feet will be at my head. My feet at yours. This will enable me to wrap my thighs around your ribs and lock my ankles just behind your head. I'll raise my body off the ground with my hands so you can wrap your thighs around my ribs and lock your ankles behind my head. It's simple. When we both agree we're in position we start squeezing. And that, nigger, is when I break ever bone in your fucking, nigger ribs. This is going to be fun. For me that is."

For some reason those last two uses of the "n" word have driven Tosha to a feeling of hate and fury she has never felt in her life. At that precise moment she does not just want to win. She wants to kill. She has never been a racist. She has hated racism. But at this moment her feelings toward Alice are spreading to white people in general.

Alice lays flat on her back. Tosha lays in the reverse position, face down on top of her. The both have flat, hard stomachs and they can feel each others abdominal muscles. Tosha's face is at Alice's feet as her opponent swings her feet and legs up and wraps her thighs around Tosha's ribs. Alice pushes her body off the ground and Tosha does the same. They both lock their ankles behind their opponent's head completing the scissors.

"Are you in position, nigger?"

"Ready when you are, white trash."

Alice pauses for a second. It's the first time Tosha has responded to the "n" word.

"Go!," Alice shouts.

Both women wince as they feel the tremendous pressure of their opponent's thighs around their ribs. Tosha doesn't like her face down position so she quickly rolls over. Alice doesn't like it either and they roll back the other way. They continue to roll on the ground looking like two boa constrictors locked in a death match. 

Sweat starts to run off both women as they strain the bulging muscles in their thighs and their faces contort with the pain in their ribs and having to fight for every breath because of the pressure. As they roll on the ground the sweat on their bodies picks up pieces of dirt, dead leaves and pine needles. 

The sun reflects off all this and the white and brown muscles, so beautiful locked in combat. Not just the legs but also their white and brown hips, fully round and flexed, helping drive more power to their thighs. The scene looks like a painting  you see in art galleries of gladiators, their muscles straining, bulging, each trying to win the battle. 

Their large black and white breasts are beautiful. But they do not rise and fall with each deep breath. If either woman can take just a small breath, she feels lucky.

Alice is beginning to get desperate. She thought that because her thighs were slightly larger than Tosha's it would all be over by now. She raises her body as much as she can, clasp both fist over her head and slams a pile driver punch into the base of Tosha's spine. That's as far as she can reach.

Tosha feels the blow, and it adds to her pain. She can feel it reverberate almost up to her neck She rolls over and returns the blow to Alice. She feels the pain equally and grits her teeth. They roll over and over on the ground each striking a two fisted blow into the other's spine when they get the opportunity.

Alice claws at Tosha's brown hips and thighs. Tosha digs her fingernails into Alice's creamy white skin. A small amount of blood from both women stains the ground.

"Nigger!"

"White trash!"

The women have so little breath left the words are almost inaudible. Both women rest their hands on their opponent's thighs, on the large mounds of muscle and skin. Both Tosha and Alice look like they have huge, powerful snakes coiled around their bodies, squeezing them to death.

Alice is putting every last bit of strength into her thighs in an effort to make Tosha yield. Tosha does the same.  She relaxes her whole upper body and channels everything into her legs. The thoughts of hate and rage that started just before the match increase. She wants to kill Alice. Wants to kill her because she's white.

This feeling spreads through Tosha's body to her hips and legs. She closes her eyes and strains with everything left in her. Her muscles shake with determination, and she keeps up the pressure, adding more and more. She can feel Alice's thigh muscles relax and slowly slip from her ribs. She knows she's won the contest.  But that's not good enough. She wants to squeeze Alice to death. To make sure, she keeps the incredible pressure on, driven by fury and hate, until her muscles collapse from fatigue and are unable to squeeze anymore. Then she relaxes as best she can.  Her ribs ache. Some may be fractured, if not broken.

Fifteen long minutes go by as Tosha lays on her back, covered by sweat, dirt, leaves and pine needles. Finally.

"Well, Alice. It was a good contest. Not bad for a piece of white trash. Want to try it again sometime?"

No Answer. Tosha pauses for a moment.

"Alice?"

Still no answer. Good!

Tosha crawls over to Alice and examines her very closely. Tosha is a pre med student. She feels for a heart beat. She feels for a pulse. Alice is dead. Tosha lays back down and smiles. You fucking white trash. You'll never call me a nigger again.

It has been said that given a certain set of circumstances, virtually everyone is capable of committing murder. Those last two times she heard the "n" word. That was the trigger for Tosha. At this moment she hates whites as much as any white has ever hated a black. But it's not her natural state of mind. It's so unlike her. The question now is, how long will it last?

Tosha rest for a few more minutes and then gets a shovel out of the trunk of her car. She needs to bury Alice. But where. She looks down a sloop beside the clearing and can see a large stream and an earthen dam in the distance. Soon the bottom of that sloop will be under twenty feet of water.

"God damn white trash."

She sweats profusely as she drags Alice's body down close to the stream. A shallow grave is dug and Alice and her clothes shoved into it, then covered with dirt. Tosha can see the water backing up. It's moved closer to the grave since she started digging.

She rinses the dirt off the shovel in the stream. Tosha is still nude. She wades into the stream and lets the cold water wash the dirt, leaves and blood off her. She climbs back up the sloop, puts on her clothes and drives to Bob's apartment. It's around 8:00pm when she gets there. But the hate is still with her. The fury and rage still in her eyes. Tosha burst into Bob's room and slams the door. He's partially dressed. Getting ready for a date with her.

"Have you been fucking that white trash, Bob?"

He's so stunned he can't respond. Can't make himself move. He looks at Tosha's eyes. He can see the cold hate. The rage. The fury. He wonders what has happened. He's frightened. He's a lot taller than her. But he knows she's very strong, and he wonders if she's about to attack him. She does. In a way.

She takes her clothes off, and then strips his off.

"You'd rather fuck white trash than a black woman hadn't you, Bob? Well, I'm about to change your mind."

"Tosha, what is wrong with you?"

She quickly massages him until his erection is full, and strokes it with her hands, her fingers, her lips, her tongue. At this point Bob is so aroused he decides not to protest. Tosha teases him until he begs, then guides him into her and moves up and down until he has an orgasm. Bob lays back like he's about to doze off, but Tosha starts in on him again.

They started at 8:00pm. It's 4:00am. There has been no let up. None. Each time Bob thinks he can't possibly have another erection, Tosha drives him to one. And in her eyes, there is still the look of cold hate and fury. Finally Bob passes out.

Tosha walks nude down the apartment hallway. She knows the last apartment belongs to Steve. Six foot ten. Star basketball player. And according to gossip, the stud of all studs. The largest erection on campus. She quickly opens his door and slams it behind her as she enters the room. He's in bed with Anita, an extremely tall girl, six feet four. Campus gossip also has it she's one of the few women who can take all of him into her. Tosha flips on the lights.

"Get out of his bed and out of this fucking room, you piece of white trash."

Steve and Anita are sort of groggy, being awakened at 4:00am like this. But what is happening slowly sinks in. It's very simple. Tosha is standing at the foot of the bed, nude, calling Anita "white trash" and telling her to get out of the room. And actually we have a good situation. Anita likes to fight other women. Steve likes to see women fight. He leans back. Perfect. I can't believe this is happening. But it's perfect.

Anita jumps out of bed and grabs Tosha in a bear hug pinning her arms to her sides. She's fourteen inches taller than Tosha. She doesn't lift weights. But she keeps in shape and she's very strong. Tosha's feet are dangling at least a foot off the floor as Anita leans back and pulls at her ribs and spine with enormous strength. Tosha can't breathe. She feels like she's about to black out.

Tosha looks Anita in the face, and all she sees is white. White trash. The peak of the hate and fury is coming back. Tosha tightens her stomach muscles and forces her spine back enough to free her right arm. She slams her fist into Anita's forehead and the grip is broken.

Tosha's feet drop to the floor. Anita's stomach is right in front of her and she slams several vicious blows into the taller woman's gut. Anita drops to her knees. Now it's Tosha that uses the bear hug with her opponent's arms pinned. Anita stands up and slams Tosha's back into the wall several times. But Tosha's fury and strength is so great it doesn't matter. Anita can't breathe. Tosha tightens her grip until the tall woman blacks out and falls to the floor. She regains consciousness in a few minutes and Tosha again tells her to get out. She does.

Then she turns to Steve. She massages him until his legendary erection is huge and teases him until he begs her to take him, or try. He doesn't believe she can. But Tosha glides him into her and takes everything he's got. Steve is amazed. And she's only five foot two or so. Incredible!

They fuck until noon and sleep until around 8:00pm. Tosha wakes up. She looks around, confused. What am I doing here? How did I get here? Steve notices the bewildered look on her face.

"Tosha, are you OK?"

Tosha looks hysterical.

"My God. I was waiting on Alice yesterday afternoon and I guess I dozed off, and now I'm here."

She looks around the room doesn't see her clothes. Now she's almost screaming.

"Steve, where are my clothes? Where are my god damned clothes. And what the fuck am I doing here?"

Bob hears her and brings her clothes. He and Steve help Tosha to her car and make sure she gets home safely.

During the next few days, Tosha is in a very confused state off mind. She seeks psychiatric help. The diagnosis is obvious. Temporary amnesia.

The local police are not confused at all. When Alice turns up missing they find, witnesses to the confrontation in the gym, witnesses to Alice getting in the car with Tosha, her car's tire marks on the abandoned road, blood samples from both women in the clearing, signs that something or someone was dragged down the sloop toward the lake, Alice's shallow grave under ten feet of water, Tosha's skin under Alice's fingernails. Tosha is charged with first degree murder.

But there is testimony from the psychiatrist about amnesia, testimony from Bob, Steve and even Anita that she seemed to be "out of it" that night.  Plus there were signs of a struggle in the clearing. Was it just a fight that got out of control? The case is plea bargained and finally the District Attorney agrees to a verdict of "not guilty by reason of insanity." Not "temporary insanity" in which case Tosha would have walked out of the court room a free woman.

In most states "temporary insanity" means the accused was just that. Insane only while committing the crime. They are thought to be of no further danger to society and are released very quickly. Straight "insanity", again, means just that. This person is nuts. Not just during the crime, but also now. And they are sent to an institution where they receive psychiatric care until the state determines they are no longer "insane."

So here Tosha waits in the state institution for the criminally insane until she's judged safe to reenter society. Waits for five years. The authorities are very slow when it comes to letting someone accused of first degree murder out. One thing they've been waiting on is for her to remember what really happened five years ago.  She has tried, but says she can't.

Suddenly her room door opens and her lawyer, Jim Bishop walks in. He's smiling.

"Tosha, they've decided to let you go Monday morning. That's just three days away."

Tosha breaks into tears and hugs him.

"Thank you, Mr. Bishop for all you've done for me. I just wish I could remember what really happened that day."

"Don't worry about it, Tosha. I've got some papers for you to sign. And then you start thinking about a new life."

"I will, Mr. Bishop. And thanks again for everything."

After the attorney leaves, Tosha looks out her window at a small stream that runs across the grounds of the institution. It reminds her of the day five years ago when she saw a larger stream being damned up for a lake. The day she buried the "white trash."

Amnesia. Those fools. Never had it. Easiest thing to fake in the world. Just keep acting hysterical  and saying " I can't remember." Funny thing is, I'm not a racist. Hate racism. Most of my best friends have been white. Most of my boyfriends have been white. But there is one thing I can't tolerate. Being called a nigger.  

I beat the shit out of the first person who called me a nigger. I killed the second person who called me a nigger.  You don't want to be the third person. You really don't.

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