When Joanna Kicked My Butt



	Jazz saxophonist Paul Desmond once covered an old pop song called 
"When Joanna Loved Me."  For me, Joanna Needham's year 2000 visit to Chicago 
will be remembered as "When Joanna Kicked My Butt."

	Joanna was settled into a hotel suite within a stone's throw of O'Hare, a 
place where she'd been before and obviously felt comfortable.  She greeted me in 
a long T-shirt from a martial arts tournament, which she later doffed to reveal a 
bikini top and a thong bottom; much skimpier attire than you're used to seeing in 
her photos on the Web.    The view from the rear was absolutely spectacular, and 
revealed the source of much of Joanna's power.  Joanna has incredible glutes and 
thighs, and filled out the top nicely as well.  (She also took it in stride when the top 
showed a tendency to become dislodged a bit later.)  The floor was covered was a 
thin but remarkably protective material Joanna had uncovered in a trip to a marine 
supply store, taped to the carpet and supplemented by the hotel bedcover.

	We had discussed a competitive match, and I mentioned some of my prior 
encounters with session wrestlers where I had experienced some success.  Joanna 
assured me the session would be as competitive as I wanted, and commented that 
she was a more accomplished wrestler than some of the other women I'd wrestled, 
which I later learned was a rather dramatic understatement.

	I'm 5'6", 158", 43 years old, a regular exerciser and strong for my size 
but not an experienced wrestler.  My prior experience was with women I 
outweighed by at least ten pounds, and I'd won more than I'd lost.  After a get-
acquainted chat, we began from a standing position.  (We switched to a kneeling 
position when my trick knee acted up after a couple of falls.)

	Once we got going, an appropriate jazz theme song would have been "I 
Can't Get Started With You."  I lost count of how many falls Joanna won, but I 
certainly remember some of the finishing techniques:  body scissors, head scissors, 
headlock, and various pins.  She also pitched a shutout.  The very limited offense I 
could muster with a few scissors and a scissors and a half-nelson combination was 
promptly and effectively reversed.  My hair and shirt were soaked after a half-hour 
or so of action, and Joanna had barely broken a sweat.  Only my neck and the tops 
of my shoulders were stiff the next day, but I guess that's because you can only get 
so much of a workout lying on your back.

	Joanna is an absolute professional, thoroughly organized (I must have 
gotten five reminder emails, in addition to the emails setting up the session and 
detailing my preferences) and a pleasure to deal with.  She does sessions because 
she enjoys them, not because she needs the income to support herself, and it 
shows.  She is bright, personable, funny, and talkative, and her energy level (which 
you can glimpse in her photos on the Web) is absolutely amazing.  She was in her 
third day of sessions when I saw her, and none the worse for it, though a trace of 
that shiner from two days previous was still visible.  Put another way, if my 
predecessors in Chicago wore her out at all, I'd hate to have seen her when she 
was fresh.  Her photos may not display the muscular definition of some other 
wrestlers, but trust me, she's all muscle.

	Joanna is an incredible asset for those of us who like this sort of thing 
because of the range of sessions her size, power, ability and attitude permit her to 
deliver.  She can dish it out, take it (not that she had to from me, but her resume 
speaks for itself), and delivers it all with incredible energy and enthusiasm, 
laughing all the way.  If you don't have fun with Joanna, it's your own fault.

	Don't miss Joanna when she comes to your neck of the woods, show up 
with a smile on your face, and good luck.  You'll have a great time.

Bird Lives