My Dream A dream of domination becomes a reality. I am a less than a man. I can hardly think for myself anymore. Most of the time I just want to die, but my mistress has prevented me from even doing that. I used to think that this was the only thing I ever wanted, complete subjugation to a beautiful woman. That is what I have now, and I only want to die. Many years ago I had a slight fetish of masochism and some other stuff mixed in there. The problem was that I felt it was perverse or immoral, however you want to look at it. As time went on, I ignored my dying conscious and sought out my dark side. I began reading a lot about different erotic fantasies and writing my own. However, it was all in private. All the while, I fought myself and soon became dominated by women with out them even knowing. There was this one girl who could keep me on my knees for hours just by wearing a certain outfit. I would fear her and lust after her in the same moment. She stole all my time and thoughts and imprisoned me within my own mental cell without ever realizing the effect she had on me. I tried to escape this mental misery and torment, but I was too hooked. All the thought and effort that went into my fantasy drove me further down towards my own demise. That first call I made to a dominatrix type was complete excitement and fear intertwined together, but I was a little apprehensive as well. I didn't really want to be paddled and hooked up to a bunch of crap, I wanted to be forced into submission. I wanted a girl to make me submit to her because I was forced to. I wanted to be helpless on my knees begging her for kindness and completely at her mercy. I wanted her to abuse me and treat me like a dog and leave me a broken, miserable man who would never again be able to look a woman in the eyes again. I began talking to a lot of dominatrixes about where to find stuff and what specifically they did. I called woman wrestlers and other professionals who offer various services of dominating men, but nothing seemed right until that night. After calling Mistress Rebecca several times, she agreed to have a drink with me to answer some more of my questions. I offered to pay her to meet me, but she seemed not to mind taking time out to meet me and talk with me. We talked over drinks for well over two hours when another lady joined us. She was about five foot seven with shoulder length brown hair. Rebecca introduced her as Kara, an old friend, and I thought nothing of it. Kara was gorgeous. She had a body to die for with breasts that just wanted to jump out of her shirt. Some girls have that innocent and sweet look and others just seem dirty. Kara, on the other hand, had only sex appeal and mystery. I would have done anything for a chance just to see her again. Upon returning from the bathroom, the two girls were rising from the table. We left the bar together and Rebecca asked if I could give Kara a ride home. I eagerly jumped at the chance just to talk to her longer. "You better let me drive, though. You don't look so good." She smiled and held out her hand. She took the drivers seat, and we were off. "Rebecca tells me you are thinking of...joining her ranks.?" "Well, I was thinking about it, but I don't know if it is for me. I want something a little more personal." I was hoping so much for something to happen. I was willing to throw precautions to the wind and follow Kara blindly for the chance of seeing my fantasy come true. When she stopped the car and invited me in, I was more nervous than ever. I convinced myself by saying that she was only a girl, and I could stop it when ever I wanted. "Rebecca told me all about you and what you wanted. I don't give a shit what you want anymore. I just know that you will be easy to control and fun to break. We'll play our first game right now. You see your car keys? There going in my front pocket. All you have to do is take them out, walk out the door and leave. I'll never bother you again. Or you can get into that dress and start cleaning my shitter." She pointed towards a pink satin dress on the wall and dropped the keys into the front pocket of her tight, black leather pants. She put her hands on her hips defiantly patiently waiting for my next move. She was about six years younger than me, and about sixty pounds lighter, but she looked intimidating. I was twenty-eight years old and had never gotten into a fight before, and didn't want to start with this girl. This may seem weird, but I really did want to be out of this situation. Having a fantasy and living one are two totally different things. I wanted to dream about this moment but never experience it. If I would have ran out the door leaving my car, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life, but I really wanted to run away. Instead I stood there like an idiot wondering how to get my keys back. I walked over to her slowly right into her trap. I was so sure she was going to kick me in the balls that when she charged me, I was totally off guard. She jumped at me into my chest straddling me with her legs and engulfing me with her arms. I would have normally been able to catch her, but the alcohol made me slow. We crashed to the ground in a heap. Kara quickly composed herself and jammed her knee into my neck. Her full weight crushing my throat as I tried to regain my wind. I was able to throw her off after a few moments and groggily stumbled to my feet. I was not aroused or even remotely excited. I was simply scared. Kara looked like a vulture waiting for me to die, and for the first time I realized that this girl might have a chance at beating me. I backed up against the wall in a state of absolute terror as Kara stalked back and forth like a tiger. It was like she was reading me for weakness and was ready to strike at any opportunity. I tried not to show how I was really feeling, but I couldn't stop from trembling. I wanted to charge her and run away, but she was still a girl. I had never hit a guy before, much less a girl. I knew she would rip out my heart if given a chance, but I could not hit her or even attack her. I felt sick to my stomach and mortified to be worrying about this with a girl. I was so confused that tears swelled up in my eyes. I remained pinned against the wall as every emotion flooded through me. Kara just waited for me to break down. The longer I stood there in fear, the worse I became. Realizing I was way out of my league and quickly loosing ground, I ran at her hoping to frighten her enough just to slip by and make it to the door. She crouched into a fighting stance as I approached and managed to kick me in the ass as I ran past her. The force of her kick did not hurt, but it sent me sprawling across the floor. I crawled to my knees to slowly. Kara kicked me again, this time squarely in the ass. I howled in pain covering my butt from the blow hoping to protect it from another kick. She followed it up with a boot to my lower back and drove me back to the floor. I was not so quick off the floor this time. Before I could get even to my knees, she dug her boot heel into my aching back. I cried out in terror. "Get used to it, bitch. You are nothing more than carpet anymore." She twisted and pressed her boot in my flesh to emphasize her point. It was only panic that fueled my fire. Before, I would have paid some girl to do this to me, but the reality of it was too much for me to take. I couldn't explain it, I just knew that I was in trouble. She didn't care about me at all. She just cared of her own pleasure. I flailed under her and knocked her off her feet. Leaping up, I made it to the door to find it securely locked. Grasping frantically at the locks, I shook in panic and could not make it open. I spun around to see Kara walking towards me. "Looking for this?" She pulled out a key holding it like a treat for a child. "You have to come through me to leave. You can't really believe a little ol'girl could stop you now, do you?" She cooed. She smiled an evil grin as she waved the key out in front of her. It was probably just a random key, but it completely had my attention. I wasn't thinking straight anymore. I didn't see her as a petit, beautiful girl who was teasing me, but as an invulnerable foe who was in complete control. One of my problems was that I had always thought that women were weaker. Maybe it is true, and maybe it is not, but women can possess one unique advantage. They can manipulate a man's pride. By simply standing up to me, Kara had completely reversed everything I had ever thought. I had no strength advantage or size advantage because I was scared. I had never encountered a woman who would confront a man like she had already won. She stood in front of me smaller and weaker but completely confident and completely in control. She led me into the middle of the living room dragging me there with just a key. She placed it back in her pocket and extended her hand as if she wanted me to come towards her. I realized I had no other choice and tackled her. I lunged at her driving into her, but she dropped to the floor to avoid my attack. We both crashed to the ground and began wrestling for control. Completely to my surprise, I quickly had her pinned to the ground and began reaching in her pants for the keys. As I let my attack loosen to reach into her tight pants, she slipped free and wrapped her legs around my left leg. It was like a child clinging to you as you are walking. I couldn't reach in her pants from this angle to retrieve the keys and began attempting to loosen her grip. As I concentrated on her legs, she wrapped her arms around my neck applying a well developed sleeper hold. Her silken shirt caressed my chin as her sinewy muscles pummeled my throat. I forgot about her legs and went to free my neck from her hold. Her arms tightened around me molding to my neck. Soon there was no air to breath, and I frantically used my reserves. I pried at her silken covered arms hoping to free any space for my neck. I leaned back into her turning my neck and half broke her hold. I slipped from a sleeper hold to a headlock. As she continued to punish my head, she wrapped her legs around my waist to stop my squirming. I finally pried myself from her arms and found myself on my back trapped in a scissor hold. Her legs tightened around my stomach instantly sending my innards to mush. I tried to flex my stomach muscles, but her legs seemed to penetrate all my defenses. I grabbed at her legs to try to free myself and only felt her hard muscles covered by leather. I flailed out in panic and grabbed her hair. I pulled at it like it was my only hope, and Kara released me. I thought I was free as I tried to throw her off me, but she would not give up. She landed her boot in my hip and knocked me back to the floor. The sharp heel of her boot dug into my side as I flinched away. This left my head near her legs and instead of kicking me again, she caught be in a head scissors. She slid her legs around my neck and pulled me into her crotch. My back was to her, and I had no leverage to pull free. Her legs wrapped around my neck like a vice. Her right leg slid up my chest fully covering my neck as she bent her leg. The v behind her knee locked my neck into position and put her in full control. I could no longer struggle, I could only flail helplessly and beg her to let me go. Within moments I was fighting for consciousness knowing my life was completely out of my hands. For a moment I stopped to realize that this was a younger girl dominating me with ease. A young girl who easily took control of me and cast me aside like an inferior opponent who could be used for her pleasure. I instantly flailed under her as I thought that she could not be winning. She had no right to be beating me, but I was still unable to free myself. I pounded weakly on her legs in a last ditch desperation and passed out wondering how a girl could have conquered me. I woke up to see Kara lying beside me. Her legs were straddling my stomach in a scissor hold, and she held my left arm under her for leverage. Once I noticed the position I was in, I began to struggle to free amidst her legs. They instantly constricted around my abdomen causing me to fear again for my life. Her legs flexed and swelled crushing my stomach and sending my innards in massive retreat. I tried to protect myself by flexing my stomach, but her legs ignored all my defenses. I struggled and contorted to free myself and pounded on her legs with my free arm, but I was helpless. She just laughed and mocked me telling me what she had in store for me. "The last guy I owned, lasted only one week before he was completely vegetated. He was drooling and babbling. He is now in an insane asylum telling the doctors he was thrown in a python pit." She laughed. Her legs squeezed me like viscous pythons not trying to kill me, but to torture me. Each time I would almost pass out, she would loosen her hold and then would begin quick flexes pounding my already helpless stomach. The pain became so great that my legs spasmed as her legs tightened around me. I jerked and convulsed and this brought her to a new high. She began pounding my chest with her arms and slapping and punching my face. She was like a child in a tantrum except she was not mad. She began orgasming uncontrollably at my helplessness. I passed in and out of consciousness begging her and bawling to her to free me. I hardly remember what she did to me that first night, but she talks about it all the time. She brings it up and relives it which is almost just as painful. I was near death for hours wanting to die more than I wanted to live. There was nothing I could do to stop the pain. I didn't care how hot the girl was, there was only pain and suffering. This was no longer a fantasy, but a real nightmare which I could not wake up from. She left me in the pink satin dress tied to the basement wall with her dirty panties gagging me. She told me that she left me there for two days because she had to visit her parents in Cleveland. I hallucinated as I tried to sleep. Being tied to the cold wall and near death left me a broken man as much as she did. When Kara finally returned I was already completely emasculated. I could no longer lift a finger to fight her but only begged her and obeyed her. When she would go off to work everyday, she would leave the keys in the car, but I was too scared to leave. I would not even get out of the dress she would pick out for me. Every chore was done to perfection and still she would beat me. My life is over. I watched Kara leave this morning on my knees like I do every morning. She will not even let me stand anymore. I am on my knees all day long. I can not even sit on the floor much less the couch. She said if I need to rest, I can go down to the basement and lay in the dog house where I sleep every night. I watch her leave and decide I have to kill myself. I crawl towards the cupboard and take the bottle of Draino and crawl to the bathroom. I am too scared to do it in the kitchen. She might come home and haunt me after I die for messing up her kitchen. I crawl into the bathtub and confidently look at the bottle knowing I will finally be free. I take off the cap, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Kara staring at me with the meanest look I have ever seen. I jumped out of the tub begging for her forgiveness, but she instantly started beating me. Her foot pounded into my face and chest as I begged for mercy. She led me downstairs and tied me spread eagle against the wall. "You have lost your privilege to live, now you will be my wall decoration." She left without saying anything else. For the next year she would feed me once a day and clean me, but she never spoke to me. She would never even look at me for more than a moment. It was like I was a plant which she just had because it was the 'in' thing to have. At first, I would yell and scream to be let down, but I soon accepted my position of complete worthlessness. After a full year, she finally let me down. She cut the rope which almost seemed part of my arms. I slumped to the floor totally unable to support myself. I couldn't even bend my knees to kneel or to sit. I just lay there on my stomach confused to what she was going to do next. She grabbed me by the arm and began dragging me to the door. She dragged me out to her garage and looked at me. "You have over stayed your welcome. You are on your own again, but each time a woman talks to you, you have to get on your knees to show her the proper respect. I will be watching you to make sure you do not behave against my wishes" She then shut the door to leave me helpless on the garage. For the next day I tried to get up to walk away from her. I am still not sure if I was too scared to leave or too physically weak. Either way, I woke up in the hospital two and a half years after she took me captive. I was immediately admitted into a psychiatric ward and left there alone of female contact. Whenever females come around I whimper and cry. I try to be good, but anyone of them could so easily abuse me again. I try to imagine a world without strong women, a world without cruel women, but I know it does not exist. I am in constant fear of another woman finding me. I still pray for death.