Build first, complain later !
by yogumon
Working with a muscular carpenter girl.

It all started on a dark, stormy night. A violent thunderstorm knocked over a 
tree, reducing my free-standing garage to kindling. After a lot of wrangling 
with the insurance, I received a meagre pay-out. Contractors were fully booked, 
and the prices they quoted were way beyond my budget.

Finally, I came across this ad in the local newspaper:

    Build nice or build twice!
    Timber frame sheds and garages.
    Pre-cut kits for DIY or assisted build.

Intrigued, I looked at the company web page. It looked a bit retro, even plain, 
but I liked how their buildings looked. When I called them, their price seemed
reasonable. I had done some DIY projects before, but this giant wood puzzle 
seemed a bit out of my league. I ordered a two-car garage with the assisted 
build option.

Once the city clerk saw the company name on the plans, he smiled and said, 
???They are a bit different, but you???re in good hands???. A few stamps and a hefty
fee later, I proudly left town hall with a building permit.

While the concrete subcontractor poured the slab, the company prepared the 
timber kit. When I came back from work on a Friday,my driveway was taken up 
by an array of pallets. I also found a message on my answering machine 
???Assembly starts Monday 7 am.???.

I spent the weekend contemplating the pile of lumber. It looked very 
confusing ??? a good thing that I would not be on my own.

On Monday, I stood on my porch with a steaming mug of coffee in the brisk 
morning air.

I expected a burly carpenter to roll up in a battered truck. Instead, a pink 
bicycle with 24??? wheels approached. The rider looked like a short, stocky 
eleven-year-old girl.

She reached out her hand and said ???Hi, I???m your carpenter.???

I looked at her more closely. She wore a lavender jacket, a brown beanie cap, 
a dark green fleece sweater with a small mushroom embroidery, baggy work 
pants and brown leather boots. Her skin had an olive tint, and her eyes were 
a peculiar yellowish shade of green. Her hair looked almost orange. I had 
expected a carpenter, not Yoda???s daughter... As I hesitated, her rosy cheeks 
turned a darker shade of red while she still held out her hand.

I relented and shook her hand. Her painfully firm handshake and calloused 
hands told me that she might indeed be the carpenter that the company sent.

She said, ???Build first, complain later???. This we did.

As we unwrapped the pallets, she said ???Nothing to it ??? just go by the plan 
and the numbers.???. Indeed, each part was labelled.

First, we had to attach the sill to the bolts concreted into the foundation 
slab. Then the frame of the garage came together like a giant 3D jigsaw 
puzzle. I was soon relegated to sherpa duties while my short but stout 
assistant pounded the pieces together with a mallet and secured them with a 
few wood dowels or screws.

During a break she sipped a strange smelling brew from her thermos bottle 
and explained to me how the company worked. ???We???re inspired by traditional 
Japanese carpentry, where buildings were ejected without metal nails using 
elaborate joinery. With modern CNC machines, the timbers can be cut quickly 
and accurately.???

As the day warmed up, her cap and fleece sweater came off. It finally dawned 
on me that I was dealing with a goblin carpenter! She had looked somewhat 
overweight in her bulky clothes, but turned out to have a solid, muscular 
body.

While we worked, I was mesmerized by the muscles playing in her arms while 
she handled heavy pieces of lumber or the tools.

For lunch, she pulled out some barely cooked meat and hard-boiled eggs from 
her pack. I sat next to her and asked her about goblin life among humans. 
She said, ???It isn???t always easy being green!???. Not all humanlings (as she 
called us) reacted kindly to goblins living as a parallel society in their 
town, so she preferred to keep her nose down and not attract attention. 
Her kids??? bike and jacket were both inexpensive and stealthy.

???I really don???t need much ??? I live in a tiny house that I built and get my 
food from a nearby farmer. I keep warm with scrap wood from our workshop.???

As the structure grew taller, we had to start using ladders. She often lifted 
heavy joists into place with little assistance by me. Once the floor joists 
for the loft were complete, we placed a plywood subfloor. Lifting the heavy, 
unwieldy sheets was not easy ??? how did she do it, seemingly tireless?

As it was getting late in the afternoon, we protected the subfloor with 
plastic and stopped for the night.

The next morning, I felt like a truck had run over me. She looked bright-eyed 
and bushy-tailed like the day before. I had to hurry to keep up with her. 
I handed her the roof joists one by one while she smiled and whistled an 
odd-sounding tune. As the sun burned down on us, she took off her shirt and 
zipped off the bottom of her pants. I couldn???t help admiring her rippling 
physique as we worked.

Lunch was a welcome reprieve from my hard labour as a humanling slave. 
She kicked off her boots and said, ???I hate those foot coffins, but GOSHA 
makes me wear them.??? Even her feet looked strong, if a bit dirty. Goblin mode?

She sipped from her thermos. I asked, ???What do you drink? Is this some 
goblin tea????

???Yes, it is a mixture of herbs and mushrooms that I collect in the forest. 
It is bitter but helps keep me strong.???

I asked her how she became so muscular. She said, ???I have three older 
brothers. I started lifting timbers as a young kid so I could hold my own 
against them. Now I am the strong one, and they get to do the tedious computer 
work and feed the CNC machine while I assemble the buildings at customer sites.???

???With muscles like this, did you ever think about bodybuilding????

???Yes, but I would look very odd in high heels and a bikini. Unfortunately, 
the nearest goblin competition organized by the IFGG (International Federation 
of Growing Goblins) is too far away.???

???But surely you would hold your own in powerlifting? Just how strong are you, 
anyway????

???I don???t have a barbell, and they don???t let me into humanling gyms, so I 
don???t know. My limbs are shorter than yours. I can???t throw balls worth a 
damn, but my muscle attachments give me really good leverage. Look at 
@original_little_sam to get an idea of what a goblin size body can do.???

She pulled a wide rubber band out of her pack. ???This is how I train.???. 
She showed me how to do seated rows and did a few repetitions with ease. 
When I tried to pull on the band, it hardly budged. ???The taller you are, 
the harder you have to pull ??? but I think you could use some lessons with 
a personal trainer like me.???

While we were talking, the sky grew cloudy. She said, ???The weather frog 
predicted rain in the late afternoon ??? we better get the roof sheathing on 
to keep the building dry.???

It took all that I had to help carry the sheathing. Once it was attached to 
the roof joists, we rolled out the roof felt while the clouds grew ever more 
menacing. We drove staples as fast as we could but didn???t quite win the race 
against the rain. But the building was protected.

We finally ducked under the roof. I handed her a towel so she could dry off. 
She said, ???You ordered the play loft option. Let???s try it out!???.

~~~

She could look like this - 
https://www.reddit.com/r/GoblinGirls/comments/108sx05/more_muscles_means_longer_rides/ ...