Beatdown: I make a giant mistake in trying to sneak a peek at an ex.
By bye


My cousin Rob had been dating Sarah for a few years. She was originally from 
Boston but had moved to Tampa where the two of them met and eventually 
married. Over the years, as their relationship grew, the two would return to her 
former hometown, trips that would allow him to visit with his family and for her to 
catch up with her old high school friends.

It was on one of these nights out in Boston where I first met Jackie. She was tall 
for a Filipino girl, her skin movie star pale, her body slender and smoking hot. I 
watched her from across the dance floor, swaying as she danced in the sweaty 
night club Sarah had chosen not only because of its music, but as I was to later 
find out, because the club's owner was none other than Jackie's boyfriend.

At the time, this little detail didn't really matter. She was out of my league and I 
was only really interested in getting drunk with my cousin and checking out girls 
like her I knew had no interest in me. I knew my place and my goal was 
accomplished.

As time moved on and Rob and Sarah's young family grew, trips like this 
happened a little more frequently and as I entered into my 30s, still single and 
looking for love, what I never had ever planned on happened out of the blue. 
Knowing that Jackie was newly single, Sarah set the two of us up on a blind date.

I was reluctant but extremely excited and before I knew it, what I thought would 
be a disaster turned into a outstanding first date, an outstanding first date into an 
amazing first month, and before long we were a couple. I was beside myself. 
Who I thought was a stuck up party girl was in fact a down-to-Earth daddy's girl, 
her impeccable fashion sense and make-up less about impressing others than it 
was about her desire for perfection. Every hair was always in place, nothing ever 
awry. While I slept in, she was up early. If I was ever rumpled, she was crisply 
attired. And understandably, as my career stalled, hers was always on the 
upswing.

Looking back on it, it wasn't surprising that she continued to climb in her life while 
mine started spiraling out of control. In an effort early on to combat our appetites 
for fine wine and food, I suggested that we join a gym together, a plan Jackie 
took on as she did everything else, head on and with gusto. Typical of our 
attitudes, while I struggled with the motivation to get up and work out, she hired a 
personal trainer. 

Brian gave her a strict routine and diet plan, which she followed to the letter. The 
few times that we worked out together was more about me following her around 
as she worked through the plan, doing everything that was written down for her, 
as was her inclination. Ultimately though, while no princess, Jackie was not really 
an athlete and, although she was interested in her health, the gym became less 
and less a priority and her attendance became as infrequent as mine.

After about two years into our relationship, it was evident that our goals for our 
futures were divided, something that was complicated further when I lost my job. 
Before long, knowing that an impending marriage was not in the cards, we broke 
up. Occasionally I would get updates from Rob about how she was and the odd 
Facebook update (she wasn't much for technology) would give me a sense of 
how her life was moving along.

I moved along as well, and before I knew it fell into another loving relationship 
and my career found its footing. Things were looking up more so for me than 
ever before when I got a call from another cousin asking if I was interested in 
coming over for a barbeque because Rob and Sarah were in town.

While I found it odd I hadn't heard from Rob directly, I went to the barbeque 
happy for any reason to see he and his wife, a feeling that dissipated quickly 
when Rob told me why they were in town. 

"Jackie's getting married," he said.

'Getting married?' I thought. 'We haven't even been broken up for a year!'

Although I tried to hide it, I'm sure my face went flush. In fact, my heart was 
beating, and my whole body felt a strange combination of nausea and a rise in 
temperature; a wave of jealousy mixed with happiness that she had found what 
she had been looking for.

While I continued putting on a brave face through the night in my mind I kept 
asking myself questions. 'Who did she marry? Why so fast? Why not me?'

None of these questions were fair, but I was determined to get answers and 
spent the next couple of days hoping that pictures would pop up on Facebook, 
knowing that even the most technologically reluctant person couldn't resist an 
occasion like this.

Within a couple of days, I had my answer. While it wasn't Brian the personal 
trainer it was another prime candidate, Stuart, an old friend from her clubbing 
days.

I don't know how long I stared at the wedding photos that I came across, but it 
seemed like days. She looked gorgeous, as I had expected, but Stuart, who I had 
only heard of and never met, well... he just looked big. I felt kind of bad that his 
tailor couldn't hide the bulges under his suit. In fact, staring a bit more at the 
photos even Jackie looked big. Not Stuart big, but she had definitely put on some 
weight. Her shoulders were wider than I remembered, and sure, her waist was 
still tiny, but... well, there just seemed a lot of bulk, something I wasn't used to 
seeing on what had been such a slender frame. I figured that they must have 
been really pigging out the past little while, because neither really were as 
slender as I was kind of expecting.

After the wedding came and went, I didn't hear anything else. Probably only a 
few weeks following the nuptials, she closed her Facebook account. Occasional 
random Googling offered me very little other than a Linkedin account that hadn't 
been updated in years. And while sure, I was curious as to what she was up to, it 
wasn't really top-of-mind enough to phone my cousin long distance to ask about 
her. Our lives, as far as I was concerned were no longer connected, and that was 
probably fair for both of us.

As for me, I too got married, and as I settled down and had kids of my own, as I 
inched towards my 40s, things finally seemed to take shape. In fact, I had been 
so consumed with my own life that I had forgotten even to ask Rob and Sarah, 
on their next trip to Boston for our family reunion, anything about Jackie.

As a large group of my cousins, aunts, uncles, kids and pets all squeezed into 
my downtown bungalow for what was the first day of a week long reunion, the 
oldest of the cousins broke down possible events for the coming days. We talked 
about a Red Sox game, a walk downtown. But when we discussed dinner plans, 
Rob and Sarah said they couldn't make it because they had somewhere to go.

"Somewhere to go?" I asked.

"Somewhere to be," Rob responded. "It's actually Jackie; she's got some kind of 
show."

"It's a competition," informed Sarah. 

Intrigued, I had to ask, "What kind of competition?"

"Bodybuilding," Rob added, almost mockingly. 

Again, just as I felt when I heard of her wedding, my face when flush. 
"Bodybuilding?"

"It's called 'figure', Rob. It's different. And you wouldn't dare use that tone if she 
were actually here."

Naturally Sarah would defend her friend but I still needed to know more.

"What tone?"

"When Jackie and Stuart came to visit us Rob was all up in her grill about this 
Crossfit stuff Stu had her doing, trying to build up her strength. And what 
happened when you tried to armwrestle her, huh Rob? Tough guy."

Rob wouldn't answer, but I had to know.  "What happened?"

"Rob got his ass kicked is what happened."

Jesus! Rob was not a small guy. In fact, as I sat there, my face beet red, I looked 
him over, uncertain if even I could beat him arm wrestling. And here I was 
hearing that my ex 'kicked his ass.' If anything became perfectly clear, it was that 
I needed to see this competition. But there now was a matter of the dinner we 
were trying to set up. Fortunately, as I thought of my options, and tried to hide my 
growing erection, I heard my cousin Mark add, "Well, considering you have 
plans, maybe we can do the dinner the next night. It would be shame if you 
couldn't come with us and miss the day."

"That's a great idea," I added. "You guys don't come up that often and I have an 
old friend in town that I've been meaning to grab a beer with. Maybe I can do that 
tomorrow night, too."

As the family all agreed on tomorrow night being open to individual plans, I 
started scrambling. I spent hours on my phone Googling local bodybuilding 
shows, finally discovering one at the Convention Centre and started sending 
emails to "old friends" who might want to meet me for a beer at a nearby bar 
called Paddy Flynn's.

It was almost 2am when I finally got a response from my friend Jeff, who texted 
me a confused but game response ? "Sure, I'll meet you at 9 at Paddy's."

The day of the competition, Rob and Sarah left my place early, having plans to 
meet Stuart early and get good seats (they wanted to be close enough to the 
stage so that she could hear their cheers). I knew this left me with the opportunity 
to show up to her show a little late. I figured I could slip in the back, check out her 
'figure' and sneak out with nobody being the wiser.

I arrived well into the competition but, as I stepped up to buy my ticket and move 
towards the backdoors of the auditorium, something I hadn't anticipated 
happened. When I opened the doors, Stuart exited. We met eyes, he nodded a 
thanks for me holding the door open for him and he continued on into the lobby.

The first thing I thought wasn't that he didn't recognize me. We had never met, 
and I'm sure he didn't know what I looked like. The first thing I noticed was how 
gigantic he was. He was as wide as the door! What had become very clear was 
that Stuart was a bodybuilder -- and a very good one -- who obviously had gotten 
Jackie into his sport of choice.

Just then I was snapped out of it as someone inside the auditorium asked me to 
quickly enter and before I knew it, I had slipped inside.

Standing close to the rear I was a fair distance from the stage, but certainly close 
enough to see, waiting in the wings for her introduction, Jackie. 

Fuck me. I was floored. A sudden feeling of inferiority flooded across me.

Even though she was standing relaxed, her body radiated power. Capped 
shoulders leading down to striated arms. Lats collapsing into a tiny waist, 
obliques lined down the side, her core wrapped in a six-pack.

It seemed ridiculous how small that red studded bikini seemed, and how narrow 
her hips were in comparison to her thick quads and wide upper body.

Fuck me.

My eyes kept moving downward. From her ridiculous calves to her little feet in 
those sexy red heels.

The PA announcer came across.

"Next, please welcome to the stage, Jackie Sagny!!"

Suddenly Jackie put on a broad smile, pulled back her shoulders and strutted out 
onto the stage, her body tensed and angled, her hand waving to a crowd that 
responded with cat calls and whistles

I couldn't handle it.

Just as quickly as I entered, I rushed out, down the hallway and towards the 
washroom, a massive erection throbbing in my pants.

But just as I was about to step into the washroom, I ran head first into a mountain 
of a man trying to leave in as much of a hurry as I was trying to enter.

Yep, it was Stuart. And the collision sent me flying to the floor.

>>From where I lay, I saw Stuart give me a look of genuine concern. And he even 
attempted to help me up until he saw the erection in my pants.

He stopped for a second unsure of what to do. That is until he heard the 
announcer's voice floating through the open auditorium doors say, "Again, let's 
hear it for Jackie Sagny!!!" That's when he smirked, knowing that this little guy on 
the floor in front of him was going to the washroom to jerk off because of his wife.

"Fucking hot, ain't she?" he said.

I didn't bother answering. Instead, I jumped to my feet and rushed into the 
washroom. Into a stall I unzipped my pants and, with only a few tugs, sent my 
load all over the toilet's tank before collapsing onto the seat.

Fuck me.

Having lasted in the show for less than a few minutes, I headed over to Paddy 
Flynn's well before 9. I waited at the bar, pounding beer after beer until Jeff 
showed up. It had been awhile since I had seen Jeff. We played hockey together 
as kids and he had moved to the suburbs. He was a good guy, if a little bit of a 
meathead.

"What's up man?" he asked, obviously still confused why I wanted to see him. 
"Everything okay with you?"

"Yeah, things are fine. Just needed to get out."

As I signaled the bartender to bring us a round in through the front door I noticed 
Rob and Sarah entering.

Shit. 

I turned to Jeff. "I'll be back. I gotta go to the bathroom." And with that, I moved 
quickly towards the opposite corner, missing Rob and Sarah completely. In the 
washroom, I waited, confident that my cousin and his wife were seated by the 
hostess and off to the restaurant area.

I returned to the bar to find my suspicions confirmed and my fresh beer waiting 
for me.

"Sorry man, I couldn't wait," I told Jeff.

"That's okay, you'll just have to buy the next round."

Just as I lifted my glass to 'cheers' my old friend, I saw my worst nightmare enter 
the bar. It was the sight of the large trophy that actually first caught my eye, 
followed by the woman in the spray-on tan and velour tracksuit carrying it. 

Jackie.

"Check that chick out man. Wouldn't want to get on her bad side," chimed in Jeff, 
referring to the gold plastic superwoman standing triumphant atop the trophy my 
ex-girlfriend carried. "The broad holding the trophy ain't bad either."

"Alex? What are you doing here?"

While I had managed to duck Rob and Sarah, I hadn't escaped Jackie's view. 
And she was coming over.

"I was here to meet an old friend. Jeff, this is Jackie. Jackie, Jeff."

Jackie extended the arm that wasn't holding her trophy and shook Jeff's hand.

"Pleasure to meet you."

"Pleasure's all mine," Jeff replied. "That's quite a trophy."

"Yeah, it's okay. Do you mind holding it?" Jackie handed Jeff the trophy and then 
motioned for me to stand up before she enveloped me in a big ? and tight ? hug.

"It's great to see you, did you know your cousins were here?"

"No, where?"

Jackie pointed to the corner where Rob and Sarah sat waiting. 

"You should come join us."

"Sure!" Jeff chimed in. "Just let us settle up our bill and we'll be right over."

"Great," replied Jackie as she smiled and spun towards Rob and Sarah with the 
grace of a ballerina. Both Jeff and I watched as she walked through the 
restaurant, pumping her trophy over her head with a giddy jump, my cousins 
applauding her arrival.

Jeff turned to me. "Dude, we need to go over there. I need to see what's under 
that sweat suit."

"That's my ex."

"No shit! Sorry to hear you're missing out on that."

But there was no arguing, for before I knew it, Jeff had paid the bill and was 
sauntering towards the table in the corner. I had no choice but to follow. When I 
arrived, Rob was immediately surprised to see me.

"What are you doing here?"

"Came to meet me," Jeff answered. "Haven't heard from him in years, and then 
last night he asks if I want to grab a drink."

"You don't say?" Jackie wondered aloud.

"Funny, huh?" countered Jeff. "So, what's the trophy for? Did you get it for 
looking like that little girl on the top of it?"

Sarah reached over and started pulling at Jackie's velour top.

"She totally does look like that girl! Show him Jack!"

"No, that's okay."

"Don't be modest, all that work, you gotta show it off."

"How much work?" asked Jeff.

Jackie just shrugged and with a little smile started slowly unzipping the velour 
track jacket, much to Jeff's drooling approval. "It took a long time, let's just say 
that." And with that, Jackie removed her jacket, revealing a white tank top 
underneath that barely could contain her overflowing physique. 

Jeff couldn't contain himself. "Holy shit! You're jacked!"

"I got my pro card tonight," Jackie added, nonchalantly. 

"Fucking pro! Yeah, I feel like a total bag of shit now!" laughed Jeff, clearly turned 
on and sadly unaware that Jackie was married. 

"Can I feel?"

While Jackie was understandably pumped up and excited after her victory, this 
question was enough to dampen the mood a bit.

"No. Only my husband gets to touch."

"Oh shit, you're married?"

"Sorry buddy," I added, giving Jeff a small consoling tap on the shoulder.

"Actually, there he is there!" smiled Jackie. "Stu!" she screamed, her arm waiving 
towards the doorway where I knew, even without looking, Stuart had just entered.

Fuck me.

As I slowly turned to see him enter, I could tell from the annoyed look on his face 
that immediately recognized me.

"Hey babe," is what I heard Jackie say. What I felt was a meaty hand grab my by 
my shoulder, pulling me from the table and onto the floor.

"What the fuck?" Jeff yelled, standing to my defense. From the floor I could see 
that Jeff was standing chest to chest with Stuart. What he gave up in size he was 
sure to make up for in spirit. But Stuart, despite Jeff being in his face, remained 
eerily calm.

"Who are these guys?" he asked.

"This is Jeff," answered Jackie, "while that on the floor is Alex."

"Alex? The Alex?"

"Yes, the Alex."

As Stuart immediately leaned in to grab me off the floor, I jumped to my feet. So 
did Jackie, who yelled, "Stop it!"

Meanwhile, in the confusion, Jeff took the opportunity to sucker-punch Stuart. It 
was a hard punch that knocked the big guy forward a bit but did nothing except 
anger the beast, who turned back and threw a knee into Jeff's chest, sending my 
old buddy flying into the wall, collapsing him to a heap on the floor.

Fuck! The guy was big and knew how to fight!

Seeing an opportunity to strike a sucker punch of my own, I threw my fist towards 
Stuart only to find my arm come to a screeching halt, grabbed from behind by 
one muscular arm, while another steel hard arm wrapped itself around my neck.

As my breathing slowly constricted, I felt a breath coming from behind me, gently 
whispering into my ear ?Alex. I don't want to hurt you, but trust me, I will.?

It was Jackie's voice.

"Let me go." 

"I'm saving you."

I struggled to get free only to have her clamp down harder on me.

"Fuck him up, babe," spit Stuart, his lip bleeding from Jeff's shot, but otherwise 
under control.

I pushed some more, but only to have her push down harder on my windpipe. As 
my vision started to collapse, I could see Sarah and Rob staring at me helplessly.

"Give it up, Alex," pleaded Sarah.

I looked at Stuart, who seemed to be enjoying this. In fact the entire restaurant 
had turned towards me, all of them amazed that this woman, even in as good a 
shape as she was obviously in, was handling me so convincingly.

"If I loosen up will you be a good boy?" asked Jackie.

"Just get him out of here," came a request from the restaurant manager, 
obviously in over his head.

As I shook some more, still unwilling to concede, I saw Stuart, his eyes clearly 
locked with Jackie's, nod his head, almost giving her some kind of command.

That's when Jackie loosened her grip. Something I was happy with until I heard 
her say,

"I'm sorry."

I felt a sharp kick on the back of my knee, my leg collapsing me to the floor, 
followed by the feeling of a surprisingly heavy muscle woman suddenly draped 
over my back. With a sharp tug I was pulled into her, my back pounding against 
her rock hard body, Jackie wrapping me in a full choke-hold.

That's when everything started to go black.

The last thing I remember was hearing some woman in the bar yell, "Christ! 
She's gonna knock him out!"

I woke up on the floor of the men's room, Rob standing over me. I tried to stand, 
but I was too woozy to do it without some help. I stared at myself in the mirror, 
noticing spray on tan stained across the chest of my shirt.

"You whacked off at the competition?" asked Rob.

"What are you talking about?"

"Alex. They found cum all over the walls."

Beaten and sore, I stared at myself in the mirror and found no way out but to 
admit it.

"I couldn't help it."

"You're lucky she didn't find out or she would have killed you."

"She jumped me!"

"Dude, if I had known you were coming I'd have warned you. Jackie's been 
training in MMA for years. Remember when Sarah said she kicked my ass in arm 
wrestling? That's kind of a lie. I was bugging her about this MMA thing; she 
grabbed me, wrapped me up like a pretzel and choked me out in like 10 seconds. 
Next time you're gonna do something stupid like this, give me a heads up. I might 
just be able to save your life."