Hate-Porn Day-Dream Yoga.



Brace myself for ninety,
in this heated torture chamber.
Evil women I imagine,
to intimidate and threaten,
call it hate-porn day-dream yoga.

Vinyasa flow, vinyasa flow,
Breathe through the nose, expand!
Run up flights of subway stairs,
Hard-Tail, form-fitted, tight and tone,
no real friends, she's all alone.

Yoga sculptress, yoga sculptress,
Lift, extend and hold six pounders.
He likes it hard and so do you,
so squeeze him tight and make him gasp,
and use your core, you brick-house whore.

No more low planks, boats or wheel,
Nor split-leg down-dog pulse my heel,
can't stand, can't move, can't pass the test,
so collapse, red-faced, and rest,
and watch the fit girl do it best.

Watch her arms, watch her legs,
watch her be-hind and her chest.
Watch her evil body working.
I'm impressed but can she last? 
Or will she turn to kick my ass?

Punishing pornography
to bring me back for more.
Imagine that she chokes me,
while she straddles my fat belly,
Fifty Shades of masochist lore,
losing to some friendless whore.
 
Ash-tan-gi, Ash-tan-gi,
You front-row, eight-limbed goddess.
Serene, calm, and zen like, 
you've got Foxy Knoxy eyes,
another deviant in disguise.

Lulu girl, lulu girl,
Your body makes me sick,
Chair pose, flow to warrior III,
squeeze your booty muscles fit;
extend your leg out straight, you twit. 

No more low planks, boats or wheel,
Nor split-leg down-dog pulse my heel,
can't stand, can't move, can't pass the test,
so collapse, red-faced, and rest,
and watch the fit girls do it best.

Watch their arms, watch their legs,
watch their be-hinds and their chests.
Watch those evil bodies working.
I'm envious; can they last? 
Or will they turn to kick my ass?

Punishing pornography,
it brings me back for more.
I anguish, beg, and plead,
and imagine them to hurt me.
If the lactic acids ever quits,
I'll stand and face the deviant twits.

Kundalini, kundalini,
says her furnace burns raw vegan,
fuels hot sex and more, adultery! 
Married friends gorge wheat and meat, 
complain for lack of lusty heat.

Yoga chickie, yoga chickie,
Have you had your morning quickie?
Or worn Manola's in your Prius?
Do you use your bird-brain, hold a job,
or just work-out your hot chick bod?

No more low planks, boats or wheel,
Nor split-leg down-dog pulse my heel,
can't stand, can't move, can't pass the test,
so collapse, red-faced, and rest,
and watch the hot girl do it best.

Watch her arms, watch her legs,
watch her be-hind and her chest.
Watch her evil body working.
I just hate her, can she last? 
Will she turn and kick my ass?

Punishing pornography,
it brings me back for more.
I anguish, beg, and suffer,
and imagine her to hurt me.
I gain my strength, my will I gird,
and stand beside the adulterous bird.

Endured myself for ninety,
in a heated torture chamber.
Evil women I've imagined,
its the thought that kept me going,
call it hate-porn day-dream yoga.