My wife against the car clamper

Her strength and guile win the battle of brawn and wits. 


I had a day off work on this particular day in which this true story that I am
to relate took place. I remember distinctly sitting at home with my feet up
and the telephone ringing. It was my 42 year old wife calling me and I was
quite taken aback when she exclaimed that she is in town doing some shopping
and in a bit of trouble. She explained that she had been clamped whilst
parking in a private car park and requested me to help her. She also suggested
I bring along the ##50 release fee which the clamper was demanding. I checked
my wallet to be sure that I could cover the ##50 and set off for the location
she was in.

In perhaps took me fifteen minutes to reach her and on my arrival I found my
wife by her clamped car and letting air out of her tyre. When I mentioned the
##50 she told me definitively to keep it concealed and that she had no
intension of paying it due to the clamper coming down heavily on her and
totally disregarding that she had only been parked there for three minutes
whilst she got some milk and his strong arm approach had made her see it as a
challenge. After the tyre was deflated, she got in the car and asked me to
undo the wheel nuts and once she turned the wheels with the steering wheel,
requested I try and free the wheel from the clamp. Amazingly this worked, well
it was a good job that the car was on the small side and consequently had mere
14" wheels. She placed the clamp on the back seat of her three door car and
decided to drive across the road, where a small independent garage was located
and hoped to borrow a foot pump. Whilst she made her way, I went back to my
car and proceeded to put it somewhere closer to being legally parked.

As I got in the driver's seat I noticed a large man approach my wife's car. It
was immediately clear that he was the clamper. He undoubtedly looked pissed
off that she had got the clamp off and was demanding it back. My wife got into
her back seat through the fold forward front seat and passed him the clamp.
She was just getting out of the car when the clamper shouted that the clamp
had been damaged and its frame had been bent. At this my wife leap out of the
car and grabbed the other end of the clamp. I witnessed them almost tug of
warring with the clamp and heard the clamper begin to grunt with effort. My
wife backed back into the car whilst pulling the clamp. The clamper was
consequently forced towards the car as she pulled it.

By now my wife was kneeling on the back seat whilst still pulling at the
clamp, which was now inside the car about where the passenger in the front
would sit. The clamper, who was still outside the car, found his hand inside
the car too as he was losing the fight for the clamp. He persevered with his
efforts though and was not going to let go. My wife let go with one hand and
started putting the driver's seat back into its normal set back position with
her other arm. Her one arm was still strong enough to prevent the clamper from
making ground of his own. He was livid as the passenger seat was pulled back
against his arm and making him struggle to keep a hold of the clamp. As my
wife pulled on the clamp with her left arm and pulled on the seat with her
right, trapping his forearm, he shouted in pain and let go of the clamp. He
momentarily baked away from the car and clutched his left arm with his right
hand. My wife instantaneously leaned forward at this and pulled the car door
shut and locked it. She then proceeded to start doing up the electric window.
By now I was fast approaching her car and could see the clamper rush forward
to block the car window from doing up. He easily prevented the electric motor
from closing it and actually forced the window down with his two hands. My
wife had the clamp in the back with her and was sat forward ready to rebuff
any attempt of his to get into the car.

By now I had arrived and he quickly turned around as I ran up to the car.
"Take your hands off my wife's car I demanded". At this, he stated pushing me.
He was clearly raging and I had to defend myself and pushed him back. He
pushed me again and shouted "she has bent the clamp". At this my wife, having
done up the window, shouted for him to look at the clamp, which she held up
behind the rear window and showed him that it was still in perfect condition.
She then told him that if he wanted it back he would have to collect it from
the local police station where she would take it. She told him that there was
no way she would give it to him after making the allegation that she had
broken it. A bit of arguing continued before the clamper walked across the
road and started talking on his mobile phone.

My wife opened the passenger window again and whispered to me that she would
go and borrow a foot pump from the garage and would lock the car whilst she
did so, telling me to shout her if the clamper came back to the car. I could
hear her imploring with the owner of the garage, who kept exclaiming that he
did not want any trouble and that he just wanted us to move on. She came back
to me empty handed and we discussed that we could buy one from the vehicle
parts shop about a five minute walk away. I knew that we needed a pump but did
not like the idea of leaving her alone with the clamper. I suggested that she
go and buy the pump whilst I wait with the clamp. She shook her head and
stated that he would get it off me and had no chance against her. I
reluctantly but honestly had to agree with this. The clamper approached the
car as my wife pulled me towards her and gave me a kiss. She then said loudly
(so the clamper would hear her) that if I even glimpse the clamper I am to run
away or telephone her immediately. At this, I ran off to buy a foot pump. I
must have been no more than five minutes and saw no sign of the clamper, until
I returned to the car to see him stood against his car. I had to walk past him
to get to my wife and as I did, he went to grab the box with the pump in. He
managed to wrestle it off me but I grabbed his shoulder and began to spin him
towards me. As I did this, he threw the pump down onto the floor and pushed me
hard in the chest with both hands. The nest thing I knew I had landed heavily
on the floor and was on my back. As I looked up I could see my wife
approaching him from behind.

Without saying anything, she grabbed him around his lower waist,
simultaneously pinning his arms against his body. He was taken aback by this
and began to clearly struggle. He was trying desperately to thrash around but
was being completely restrained. By now I had got to my feet and my wife told
me to keep back. She stated angrily to the clamper that nobody hurts her
husband and gets away with it and said that she would give him a lift to the
police station to retrieve his clamp. He had stopped struggling now and this
enabled my wife to adjust her grip slightly and she then hoisted him up by
standing up straight in her lowered grip. His feet were now approximately six
inches off the floor and he was now even more ensnared as he no longer had any
purchase on the floor with his feet. He was desperately flaying around with
his legs in an attempt to make some connection with the floor but was too high
up to do so. My wife now asked me to retrieve the clamp and follow her and the
clamper to the police station (in normal circumstances approximately a three
minute walk).

At this she began walking up the road carrying the completely restrained
clamper. I rushed to her car, got out the clamp and jogged to catch them up.
They had travelled approximately 100 metres by the time I reached them. It has
to be said, that although my 5 feet 3", nine stone wife was walking whilst
carrying a 6.1" 15 stoner, her pace was remarkably brisk. She often fireman's
lifts me upstairs to bed or twirls me around on her shoulders for fun, so I
was aware of her huge strength. But this guy was at least 3 stones heavier
than me. My wife stated to the clamper that after the police have interrogated
him for assaulting her husband, he could request his clamp back. She said that
she was going to carry him into the station and set him down on the reception
desk and tell the police sergeant all about his aggressive and violent methods
and that I would back this up.

He now began struggling again with his legs and actually back kicking my
wife's shuns. He was clearly desperate to escape. At this my wife slowed her
pace slightly and tightened her grip on the bear hug style lift that she had
on his lower waist and arms. He gasped and let out a cry and stopped
struggling. He was clearly now defeated and in severe discomfort, pain,
embarrassed and actually had tears running down his red face. Throughout this
thus far three minute journey, we had passed several people who had stared,
laughed or enquired what was going on (to which my wife said she was taking
something to the police station. The clamper kept his eyes shut when we passed
people, he must have felt huliated. We were now turning into the street where
the police station was based and he was still being carried against his will
by my wife. In these edgy type of situations, I have learnt not to ask
questions and just to do what she says as my wife is always at least two steps
ahead of anybody else. He began saying "okay, I will leave it", just let me go
and that's the end of everything".

My wife said that he felt so light to carry that it reminded her of when she
used to carry her kids when they were young (it is also notable that her
children sometimes enjoyed her carrying them through the woods when we went on
walks when they were late teenagers) and continued walking, with the police
station doors now is view. He now began to beg, "I am really sorry about your
husband" and please Mrs, please". She stopped walking and squeezed even harder
than she had done before. Now, I know that my wife's arms are slim, but they
are absolutely rock solid when she uses them and miles stronger than they
look. As she crushed him she expressed sternly, if I let you go you will run
away in the direction past the police station and never bother my husband
again. If you do you will have me to answer to. Understand? At this he let out
a series of painful groans and shrieks and said "yes", "I promise". She said
good, and then told him to come back later to return his clamp from the police
station, to which he readily agreed. She then lowered him to the floor and
pushed him forward. He stumbled and fell to his knee.he was puffing and
panting before he got up and then jogged off and out of sight.

My wife said that he had learned his lesson, that we needed to sort her car
out and that she did not want him pressing charges of assult against her. We
then turned around and I pumped up her car tyre before we headed home via the
police station to leave the clamp with them. Oh, my wife being my wife, had
the foresight to photograph the clamp with a police officer in the back ground
as added insurance for any come back. Suffice to say that we heard nothing
further on the matter. There have been many other examples of my wife's
strength in real situations and I will try and create a new post as time
allows. Her legs it has to be said are the real area where she is especially
strong.