The Beatdown Adventures of Roxy "Mother Don't Take No Mess" St. James



Roxy St. James is what one would call a super woman; the widow of a Gulf war
veteran, the mother of brilliant and beautiful twin seven year old girls,
Marlene and Darlene an active five year old boy Conrad St. James III. Until
her involvement in a recent class action suit for gender bias she was a floor
manager at Wal-Mart. Ms. St. James joined the ranks of the unemployed,
occasionally working various temporary positions and odd jobs she found that
being under employed was not quite enough to sustain her living and care for
her three children. Roxy wanted the very best for her children in fact she
insisted upon it which meant maintaining a villa in Kickerilloville on the
west side of Houston, that the twins and Conrad attended the prestigious
Village School and that she continue to drive and pay the notes on the 2010
Cadillac Escalade Hybrid Lt. Col. Conrad St. James left her as a birthday
present with the note. Financially Roxey was at a cross roads and she found
herself sitting and staring at one of my cards that simply said "BATTLE KLAN"
number 1-800-277-9487 where she would reach a voice mail where she would leave
her name or alias and an email address where she could be contacted. When I
played back the messages this is what I heard:

"First of all this is 'not' a career move for me ..I simply need the money
right now"

There she was before me standing with her hands on her sizeable curvy hips
with her ample chocolate lips projecting kiss-ability. Roxey was a vision, a
true black American beauty, medium length black pressed tress, skin like pure
milk chocolate covering a child-like visage, large almond- shaped eyes,
slightly broadened shoulders, an athletic V-shaped back and a gravity
resistant flawlessly spherical rump that danced a rumba of power when she
strolled. Her thighs were shapely, succulent and replete with the promise of
power accompanied by copious, sturdy, combat ready calves.

"I don't do mud, oil, Jell-O or any other food stuffs..I don't do sex fights
or lesbian matches and I choose what I am to wear when fighting. I don't fight
for anything less than $500 per match and I don't fight anyone inexperienced,
I am a wrestler, boxer and jiu jitsu practitioner; I need a challenge. I will
even take on two at a time. If you have any matches for me email me at:
RoxeyMDTNoMess@hotmail.com"; I was intrigued to say the least at how an
unproved fighter could make such demands with confident specificity. I also
intuited that she really needed money. Hence I set up a handicap match against
the Delgado Twins this would bring her twice the money she was asking for plus
give her the physical challenge she seemed to crave. So we contacted her with
an offer and sure enough my gangster uncle's saying rang true "some M()%#a
F()@%@s just have to ice skate uphill" ..She said the money was not enough and
that the twins were no competition for her and that she wanted the best. I
invited her to meet at a rented office space in the Galleria to discuss the
matter rationally. The office was genetic upscale; an impressive classic
cherry laminate tops and soft black bases, and a vintage French art print of a
corpulent in a 19th century party dress, drinking champagne with a crimson
caption at the bottom : CHAMPAGNE De ROSHEGRE' by Leonetto Cappiello

"Have a seat Ms. St. James"

"I don't see why I should sit, I believe I have made myself clear" she said
refusing my offer to make her more comfortable.

OK, Ms. St. James what do you want? I asked leaning forward with my fingers
interlocked and my chin resting on my thumbs.

"I want you best girl"

"Impossible"

"Why? Scared I will beat her so badly I will dispel all the mythology you have
probably built around her?"

"Not at all it's about moral"

"Moral?"

"Yes, think about it, you are a girl who started at the bottom fighting at
least twice monthly training almost every day, you are a single mother of one
to three children, working your way to the top in order to get top pay so that
you can make a better life for your children . Finally your shot for the title
comes and you are usurped by an unproven, arrogant, upstart who thinks her
situation is the only dyer one." I leaned back exposed the palms of my hands
and leaned back in my chair, elbows on the armrest awaiting her response.
Roxey pursed her luscious light brown sugary glazed lips together, bowed her
head momentarily then raised her head flashing those large russet
almond-shaped eyes of hers.

"OK, how about this; do you sanction handicap matches?

"Yes why, what do you propose?

"I will fight your two top contenders in my weight class in a No Holds Barred
Extreme Handicap Match; knockout or submission. If I lose they split my take
and if I win I get both theirs and I get a title shot."

"It sounds fair but I will have to talk to the ladies"

"I thought you were the boss around here" she said looking around the room
with disapproval.

"Ms. St. James I fear you take me for something other than what I am"

"I don't think so Mr. Deacon I see you very well ...

"Oh?"

"Yes, you are a perverted ex-churchman who seeks to make his fortune by using
desperate women to roll around in very little clothing for very little money
and men of means with your shared sick fantasies that will pay to watch"

"Almost but no cigar..." ... ..

"Oh? She returned"

"I fear you are ill informed; my fortune is already made and I spend it on two
of my passions helping single mothers and young women trying to get ahead in
life and watching and promoting female combat."

"Whatever gets you through the night Deacon?"

I laughed and told her that would make the offer to the number 1&2 contenders.

Ms. St. James made an almost military about-face and left without saying
goodbye. "Was it something I said?!"; I shouted as she swung that dynamic rump
of hers down the hallway.

I immediately called the numbers 1 & 2 contenders; they were both champions
from the Westheimer Shopkeepers Tournaments, both fighters from the Wal-Mart
on Kirkwood. Their positions were convoluted because of how they stood in the
ratings.

The #2 contender one Ms. Ayira Moreau a night stocker; she was half Ugandan
and half Cameroonian who had beaten the #1 contender on several occasions. She
was 5'5" 150lbs,medium length dark brown pressed hair, buoyant mango fashioned
mammary, 36x24x38, her midsection was flat but she had a little baby-fat
covering her oblique, her thighs were succulent yet sinewy like that of a
gymnast and rhombus wrought calves. Her inimitable form was covered with a
smooth milk chocolate complexion. Only one flaw was possessed by Ms. Moreau in
my opinion; nappy hairy arms. Like a cruel joke or a providential safe guard
against vanity the beady hair on her arms kept Ayira a hair away from feminine
perfection. She was skilled in the wrestling techniques of both her parents
cultures (Bakweri & Bachwezi) along with various fighting skills she picked up
as a member of the Battle Clan.

Our #1 contender was a Louisiana Creole, Dime Piece named Fallen D'eurweilher,
a Katrina transplant who came to Houston and found success in the daytime as a
Wal-Mart management and at night as a fighter girl for the Battle Clan. Fallen
was indeed a victim of PTSD suffered by my Katrina victims, she showed no sign
of interest in combat sports growing up in Bataan Rouge however when she heard
about the Battle Clan she volunteered with no experience. 5'4, straight jet
black hair, a V-shaped back yet with smooth feminine shoulders, 146lbs,
34x22x38, with flat well fashioned abdominals that cascaded into her V
enclosed by sensationally luscious thighs, her calves were like two giant
portions of freshly seasoned poultry, her glutei was the epitome of sweet
African excellence swathed in butterscotch.

Fallen's first few matches were nearly tragic but her tenacity and work ethic
was unparalleled and it brought her more win than loses in fact more wins than
anyone in our history. Fallen's amount of victories coupled with the fact that
even though Ayira either beat her or fought her to a draw no one including
Ayira ever made her submit or tap out. Either time ran out or they had to
knock her out.

When the rankings were decided even Ayira did not protest because she respects
Fallen so much. Both lady combatants always needed medical attention of some
sort in the aftermath.

Now they would be teamed against an unknown opponent in a bout to approach the
champion to clinch the title and all its benefits.

The Battle Klan Overall Champion receive the largest purse for her matches,
decided the terms and conditions of her matches and received a percentage and
residuals as a partner with me on all other matches promoted by the Battle
Klan. This was more than just (as one uncouth trailer park princess put it)
"chokin' a B!%@#! For cash" In other words she received a substantial
bi-weekly stipend as long as she held the title.

Our champion was none other than The Boof Bobilizer Trini Gal herself Ms.
Trechelle Veronique of Trinidad's Purple Ladies Karate & Jujitsu Dojo.
Trechelle had distinguished herself by sheer force of will; she defeated
everyone set before her, no matter their size, speed, power, technique or
skill set, experience or resolve. Our two greatest former champions were
Lynette a great natural fighter and Devonna a thoughtful tactician but neither
but neither of them had super hero-like qualities of Ms. Trechelle Veronique.

Was Ms. St. James about to bite off more than she could chew or were Fallen,
Ayira and even Trechelle about to meet their match in the person of Roxey
"Mother Don't Take No Mess" St. James?

I spoke to the other ladies and they agreed to the match with a few
modifications: The match would be a no holds barred handicapped match, no head
strikes but body strikes were permitted. The match not be a tag match; Roxey
would face them simultaneously and they would be inside an enclosure that
would essentially be a sauna. If Ms. St. James loses she must submit to facial
humiliation ... Ms. St. James agreed and it was on.

Now that I am done with the introductions I guess it's time to get to the
action:

Day-Thursday

Time-10:30 am

Place-Large residential compound in an undisclosed neighborhood in the Houston
area; this match took place in a modified Gazebo with a perimeter lined with
bars and an iron gate. The floor had special padding like that of a wrestling
floor in a gym. The compound was surrounded by tall trees and the trees by a
twelve foot brick wall. There was the loud almost deafening sound of
construction all about the yard; a perfect tool to block out the sounds of
combat.

Audience- via digital camera; Makeba Brown, Trechelle Veronique, my good
friend "The Professor" (He is a noted scholar and instructor at a well known
UNCF Institution who's identity can't be divulged) and me.

The Match

In any match as far as the outcome is anyone's guess is as good as the next
because of the variables involved; though it is easier to predict a one on one
battle. This particular battle had plenty of variables and some of them
unknown.

Things we knew for sure made it clear that it would take the strength and
cunning of a demi-goddess to overcome the onslaught of warriors as mighty as
Ayira and Fallen.

They were all wearing white sports bras and black running shorts (some would
thing the generic nature of their attire would be a turn off but their dynamic
physiques made up for the mundane gear) Roxey entered the cage first and went
to the far end; she scanned the enclosure smiling into each camera and winking
... .the heat was so intense that each combatant was covered with sweat making
the event look more like a wet T-Shirt Contest however the violent action that
would ensue would remove that thought from anyone's mind ... Ayira and Fallen
entered stoic and strategically moving apart to separate corners forcing Roxey
to divide her attention between them; it was obvious to us all that they
planned a simultaneous attack one going high the other low, they would take
Roxey down hard, crush and then break her ... ... ... .but Roxey had a
strategy of her own us all ... she stepped forward toward the center of the
cage turned her attention toward Ayira and said "Booty Scratcher!" then she
hocked and spit in the African's face.

Ayira took off like a Nigerian sprinter before Fallen could call her back
Ayira rushed towards Roxey arms extended as if to choke her, screaming
something in one or both of her parent's native languages. Roxey stepped
slightly to the side rammed her hip into Ayira's pelvis balanced her for a
millisecond on her hip the quickly turned her torso whipped her upper body
downward and spanking the deck with Ayira's supple body. We could hear the air
rush from Ayira's chest as Roxey masterfully completed this beautiful judo
move (full hip toss). Roxey then methodically maneuvered herself behind Ayira
while she was still facing the panicked Fallen who was rushing to the rescue;
slid her left hand under Ayira's sports bra disheveling it's tight fit and
exposing her ample breasts then locking on a sleeper hold.

Roxey was now using her leg to fend off fallen who was trying to negotiate
freeing her partner and disabling Roxey

Simultaneously. When Fallen came within striking distance Roxey drew him her
legs in knee to nipples and tightened her hold on Ayira pressing foam like
spittle from her pillow -like lips and causing her to slip in and out of
slumber. Fallen launched a relentless assault on Roxey's torso thighs and
buttocks crashing into the brown beauty with her knees and the weight of her
luscious butterscotch tinted body. Roxey responded only with a tighter hold on
Ayira also grunts growls and drawing he legs more inward.

Finally frustration caused Fallen to knell down next to Roxey and commenced
dropping elbow into her ribs and thighs with occasional prying of Roxey's legs
trying to claw the V..this was a mistake ... ..for two good reasons: 1)any
attack on Roxey's private area just pissed her off and 2) Fallen like a honey
bee too close to a Dionaea (Venus Fly Trap) was to d@^^#! close to Roxey's
notorious thighs ...yes close enough to have her lock on the Sankaku
Sleeper..and she did. Fallen was now being choked by Roxey's thighs and her
own arm and though she was not victim as long as her partner the Sankaku was
so perfect and intense that she went to sleep within seconds.

Unaware of the unique way her body reacted to unconsciousness; Calves a-flex,
bridged on the balls of her feet Fallen's middle forehead vein, and moist,
distended yet still muscle rippled belly ( which despite it's bloating still
maintained its sexy rippled musculature were the usual indicators of extreme
bodily distress. Besides there was the dribble about the twisted mouth, the
gapped legs and gyrating butt and pelvis that created the corporeal chimera
that her V was panting for air. This sexy display culminated into a climactic
episode that made me fall in love with her. Only a golden Creole delight such
as Ms Fallen D'eurweilher could be that sexy while getting her copious @$$!
Handed to her.

We were all at the edges of our perspective seats Doc and I needed our tissue
because we were salivating a bit, Makeba had Dollar Signs in her eyes and
Trechelle's mammary tips were rigid and protracted indicating her estrogen
levels were of the chart because she was aroused at the thought of some real
competition...this was a good thing for me..But that is a discussion for
another time.

"Brilliant!" remarked Trechelle ..."see how she divided them by unnerving the
stronger one then she passively trapped her partner with that judo hold ... I
can't wait to get my hands on her"; she said in a forceful whisper. I couldn't
tell whether Trechelle was talking to us or just talking aloud to herself.

After a few tightening thrusts to finish Fallen off with the mighty glutei of
Ms. St. James, Roxey felt for a lack of movement and listened for a hissing
sound as opposed to breathing and she was satisfied enough to release Fallen.
Fallen's head slid from between the well-formed chocolate castigating grasp of
Roxey's prodigious thighs slightly bouncing on the deck. Roxey immediately
attended to Ayira whose strong African constitution enabled her to regain
consciousness and try to shake and free herself throughout the ordeal.

Roxey pulled Ayira to her feet albeit in a wobbly stance. Roxey released and
spun Ayira to face her then delivered a punishing breast chop to Ayira's ample
brown mammary immediately followed by a flying back kick to Ayira's sole
plexus which sent her airborne across the enclosure. Immediately following
these maneuvers Roxey took to the air and came crashing down with one knee to
Ayira's sternum and the other to her lower stomach. No matter what was done to
her we never heard the sexy Bakweri & Bachwezi fighting highbred cry out until
then.

Instinctively Roxey knew how dangerous Ayira was she knew that Ayira would
never tap or submit and that she could always come back if she was even
slightly conscious so she sought to create a ball of woe that would take Ayira
out. Roxey launch a series of body slamming maneuvers against Ayira that
caused us all to wince each time Aryira's body would slap the floor with
Roxey's weight with accompanying elbow, adding to the devastation. Roxey then
flipped Ayira onto her stomach, hooked her sinewy arm under Ayira's neck sat
in the small of the African's back applying a seated Dragoon Sleeeper and
combined the hellish hold with a Pelvis Cracker Power Grip..angain and
uncharacteristically the Africana bellowed; "AhhhOoooooAhhh!"

It seemed to us that Roxey abandoned the practical for the sublime. It became
clear that she no longer wanted to defeat Ayira with a knockout which at that
point would have been an easy win. Roxey wanted to do what no woman in or out
of the Battle Clan had ever accomplished; not even Trechelle our champion.
Roxey wanted to make Ayira submit..verbally ..because of the agony that only
Ms. Roxey "Mama Don't Take No Mess" St. James could inflict.

This is how it played out; Roxey inverted Ayira placed Ayira's head between
her knees hopped straight upthen came down with a Pile Driver , then encased a
unyielding Triangle Lock on Ayira trapping her head and left arm perfectly yet
not enough to make her pass out. Roxey was not finished knowing that these
maneuvers would not give her what she desired most..a submission so she locked
a punishing Arm Bar on Ayira's right arm hyper extending her elbow joint.
Though this combination was enough to make grown men cry out surrender Roxey
left nothing to chance. Roxey then commenced what in a normal match would be
an illegal hold but this was a no holds barred bout so she initiated the
dreaded Oil Check with her center digit and once fully submerged Roxey hooked
Ayira deeply and tugged. Ayira let us all know aloud and in her colonial
tongue that it was over; Â "Plus de Mlle ne satisfont pas plus me libčrent ! !
! ! !"Â

By this time we were all on our feet ... well with the exception of Trechelle
who simply said; "I will make her pay for that"..we set their match for a
month later ..it would be a four day event and all of us could hardly wait to
see Ms. Roxey "Mama Don't Take No Mess" St. James in action again.

Deacon