ARRESTING DEVELOPMENT By Aazby aazby@yahoo.com Author's note: This story is based on characters and situations from the TV series Arrested Development, but I hope that even if you're not familiar with the show you're able to enjoy it. A further note for the uninitiated: the name Gob (George Oscar Bluth) is pronounced JOAB, with a soft g. MICHAEL BLUTH WAS annoyed. In the middle of a very busy day at the Bluth Company, he received a call from his father's former secretary Kitty, asking him to meet her at the steakhouse. He wasn't sure what she was up to, having not heard from her for the past six months, but he decided to come anyway, against his better judgment. His annoyance was compounded further by the fact that he had to ride his bicycle there in the sweltering heat. He wasn't even able to take the company staircar, which his brother-in-law Tobias had""once again""left on the airport tarmac. When Michael arrived, Kitty was at the table waiting for him. The ditzy bespectacled blonde was wearing a sweatshirt, which he thought was odd, considering the heat. "So, Kitty, what's with the sweatshirt? Don't want anyone checking out the boys?" Michael joked, referring to her recent breast augmentation. "Quit talking about my rack, Michael!" Kitty shot back. "I'm here on serious business." "And what could that be? The back taxes we owed? We paid those months ago." "No, something much more serious, something that could sink the Bluth Company!" "C'mon, Kitty! Nobody hears from you for six months and suddenly I'm supposed to feel threatened? The truth is you don't have a damn thing on us and you know it! I don't know why I even wasted my time coming here!" "You know exactly why you came here, Michael," Kitty responded. "You're afraid of what I know. Your father didn't hide a thing from me. If you don't start taking me seriously you are in a world of trouble!" Michael had to admit to himself that he was at least a little concerned that Kitty might possess some damaging information, but he was determined not to show any weakness. "You know, Kitty, you do whatever you need to do, but as for me I'm going back to the office to get some real work done! Goodbye!" "Well before you go, say goodbye to these!" With that, Kitty stood up, pulled off her sweatshirt, and began flexing some stunningly big arms. Michael stood there open-mouthed. The skinny secretary he always remembered now possessed a very powerful-looking, though still feminine, upper body. "Er, um, wow, that's, um, very impressive, Kitty," he stammered, "very impressive." "That's right, Michael! That's where I've been for the past six months, building up the rest of my body! I am not somebody to be messed with anymore, and I am going to control the Bluth Company, whether you like it or not!" Composing himself the best he could, Michael left the restaurant without saying another word. Riding back to the office, he couldn't stop thinking about what had just transpired. On one hand he wanted to dismiss Kitty as a nobody""with no new information""who was simply trying to bluff her way to the top. But he did definitely feel an attraction to her physique and it surprised him. "And I thought Tobias was the only man in this family who liked muscles," he said to himself in wonderment. The next day, Michael went to the prison to pay his father a visit. "What is it, Pop? First you pay for her implants and then you buy her a membership to Gold's Gym? What are you thinking?" "Not Gold's, Retro Fitness. She told me it was for her brother." "It doesn't matter! And besides she hasn't got a thing on us! You told me yourself. She's crazy!" "Yes, and the crazy ones are the ones you have to watch out for. Just give her what she wants. Trust me." "I don't know what she wants!" Michael nearly yelled. Then he paused to compose himself. "Listen, Dad, I'm sick of all the lying in this family. I want you to come clean with me, once and for all. You want me to trust you then you have to trust me." "I do, Michael, I do," George Sr. said. "We need to put this in His hands." As George Sr. bowed his head in prayer, Michael realized he would get no help from his father today, so he left. A week later, Michael was back into his old routine, and having heard nothing from Kitty, was convinced nothing was there. Then he received a call from his brother Gob. "Michael? I need you to come over to the yacht. There's been a ... situation." "A situation? What is it, Gob? Another one of your floozies jump overboard?" "I'm not joking, Michael! Just get here now! Please." Michael sensed that his brother seemed desperate, but wasn't entirely convinced. "Okay, I'm on my way, but this better be good." The yacht was dark when Michael boarded. He noticed that all the blinds were closed. "I'm over here, Michael," Gob called from the far corner of the room. "Gob, what's going on?" Michael asked as he began opening the blinds. "Why is it so dark?" "No, Michael, don't open..." Michael saw clearly now that Gob had a nasty black eye and that his clothes were torn. He also noticed the room was a mess. "Jesus, Gob, what the hell happened?" "Kitty is what the hell happened, Michael!" "Kitty did this to you?" "About a hour ago there was a knock at the door," Gob began to explain. "When I answered it I couldn't tell who it was at first. Looked like one of Tobias's friends." "Yeah, she got buff, I know. Then what happened?" "She started going on about how much she had on the Bluth Company and how she was gonna take us all down! Well, to calm her down I tried giving her a taste of the old charm." "Oh, boy!" "And that's when she gave me this!" Gob said, pointing to his black eye. "I'm sorry, Gob." "Sorry? Sorry, Michael? She pounced on me like a wild animal! Tried to fight her off, but ... I didn't stand a chance! There, I said it! Doesn't make me proud, Michael, that I couldn't fight off a girl. Maybe if Dad had played catch with me ... " "Okay, forget about that," Michael stopped him. "This really pisses me off! What the f*** is her problem?" "Her problem is that she looks like a guy, Michael. What a shame. Just when she had something going with those new and improved boobs." "Yeah, Gob. Look, I'm going back to the office. Just lay low for a while." "I'm laid low, Michael. I certainly am." During the drive back to the office (he had the staircar back), Michael received a call on his cel. "Hello, Michael." "You think this is a joke, Kitty?" he screamed. "You think this is funny? You beat up my brother? I should call the police!" "Oh, I don't think you'll be calling anybody," Kitty retorted. "That was just a little message I sent, just a reminder that the Bluth Company will be mine. Or don't you understand that yet?" "You better understand that you will never intimidate me, Kitty! I don't care how big you are or how much weight you can pump. You will never never have anything to do with this company as long as I'm around!" "I was afraid that would be your attitude," Kitty responded. "Tell you what. Meet me at the Sea Breeze Hotel in a hour""Room 326""and we'll settle this once and for all." "Gladly!" Michael shot back. Michael arrived in exactly one hour. Kitty answered the door wearing a tight black T-shirt that hugged her impressive physique beautifully. She also wore a pair of gym shorts that showed off legs that were pretty impressive themselves. Michael thought she looked even bigger than the last time they met. "Hmm, you weren't afraid to show up," Kitty said with a smirk. "Why should I be?" he retorted. "I have nothing to be afraid of. I'm tired of all the games, Kitty. If you've got something important to show me, I want to see it right now!" "Certainly," she said, as she grabbed him in a bearhug and lifted him off the ground. "Kitty, stop this nonsense! Put me down!" "Okay, you're the boss ... for now." With that she tossed him about 10 feet onto the bed. "That's a demonstration, Michael," Kitty said. "Just to show you how strong I am. These muscles aren't just for show." "I get it, Kitty," he said. "You're buff, you're strong, I'm impressed. Congratulations. Now what does any of this have to do with the Bluth Company?" "No, you don't get it, Michael," she responded. "It has everything to do with the Bluth Company! Six years ago your father took me on as his secretary. He respected me. He made me feel important. And yes, we were lovers! I know that's no secret to you." "Yes, I knew all about that," Michael admitted. "But when he went to prison," Kitty continued, "everything changed. You took over and started treating me like an idiot. Gob always treated me like a piece of tail. I started to feel a little better about myself after I got my boobs done, but it wasn't enough. So I started going to the gym. At first it was just to tone up, but then I started getting stronger and I wanted more! I wanted to get big! I pushed myself and I strained and I did get big! My confidence went through the roof!" As she spoke, Kitty became more and more wild-eyed, and it got Michael a little scared. "And now I'm convinced," Kitty said, "that I deserve to be running the Bluth Company, not you! That's how George wants it, until he gets out." "Well, Kitty," Michael answered, "I'm glad you're so confident, but that's total nonsense. I'm in charge until my father's situation is resolved, case closed! Now it really is obvious to be that you're bluffing! You have nothing on us. I have to go!" As Michael rose off the bed, Kitty shoved him back down. "Oh no you don't! It's all over for you now, Michael Bluth! You blew your chance to get off easy!" Kitty lifted him off the bed and gave him a smack in the face that sent him flying across the room. "That's it, you crazy bitch!" Michael screamed as he charged at her, his fists cocked. Kitty easily fended off his blows, then grabbed his wrists and forced him to his knees. "Arrgggh!" he shouted. "Stop it! Please stop it!" "I'll stop it when you admit you love my muscles." "What? You're crazy!" "Am I? I noticed your hard-on when you were lying on the bed. Admit it!" Michael would only admit it to himself. "No!" "Guess I'll have to turn it up a notch!" "Ahhhhhh! No, no, okay! Yes, I like your muscles! I think they're incredible!" "Do you mean it?" "Oh, yes, God, I mean it! Kitty, I think they're amazing. I think you're amazing! Please stop hurting me!" "I'll let you up," she said, "as long as you promise not to leave." "I promise! I promise!" "Good," Kitty said as she released her grip, "but stay on your knees!" Michael was exhausted and embarrassed, but he stayed put. "Now," she said. "I just have a few demands and we'll be all set. First, you will say nothing of this to anyone." "Fine." Michael had no problem with that one. "Second, as of tomorrow I am the new president of the Bluth Company." "Kitty, I ... " "The new president of the Bluth Company!" "Yes," Michael relented. "But I don't think my father will agree to that." "Oh, I think he'll see the light, in due time. And third, I'll be allowed to have my way with you and Gob anytime I want." This thrilled Michael, but could he sell out his brother? "Agreed." "Wonderful! You can go now," Kitty concluded, "and I'll even give you a little present." She proceeded to strike a double-bicep pose. "Go ahead, feel them." Michael leapt to his feet and began kissing and massaging Kitty's mighty arms. "Oh, Kitty! God, you're so awesome! Oh, Ki ... " "Alright, that's enough," Kitty said, pulling away. Looking like the happiest girl in the world, she gathered up her things, opened the door, turned to Michael, and smiled. "Ta-ta!" As the door shut, Michael fell back on the bed and just stared at the ceiling. He had one thought. "I've made a huge mistake."