My story
by azeri_mw_lover@yahoo.com



My mixed wrestling fetish started from my deep childhood. Times that I rarely
remember. Sometimes I think, and im right in that, that I never had the choice
of having this feeling inside, or not. Would I chose it if I had the choice so
many years ago? I don't know. Perhaps I would, but probably not.

It all starts from that I was a very sensitive child in my childhood. In all
the ways. Every little thing had left its fingerprint on me even it happened
in my deep childhood. Especially the sexual matters.

The first chain in the development of mixed wrestling fetish in me, was
perhaps the days my uncle used to carry me on his shoulder. That can sound
strange. But it was the first chain of the development of straddling, scissors
fetish in me. But in some way, it rounded towards me. Then there were playing
with my dad. He used to set me on top of his chest and play with me, when I
was 4-5, that was the main chain that pointed to the sexuality of being sat
over. Yes it rounded towards me too. I like applying straddling pins myself
too, but Im not sure why it rounded, so that I like being straddled much more.

Then came the kiddish wrestling games with my cousins, one older, one younger.
I surely didn't understand then, why losing to them, made me feel better. But
I knew that I like them pinning me. Just in a kiddish way. I was 6 then.

Then came the cursed day, that developed the first chain of foot worship
fetish, foot domination in me. We were family friends house. I was like 7
then. We played with kids there, we played loudly. There was a warning by the
woman in the house that was sitting no a stool, that once more she hears loud
crying from any of use, she will take care of it. Then after a few minutes I
saw one kid struggling to get his neck out of her crossed feet, creating the
imprisonment space between her feet, where only a child neck can fit, but not
the head. At first I was afraid of the humiliation that could be done to me
too. But I sometimes think the reason I tried to help the imprisoned kid was
totally different. Did I wasnt to get there too? If yes, then I guess the foot
domination fetish was left to me before I was born. Or there just was a few
moments I have fogotten, like having foot over my chest after one of my lovely
losses to my cousins created it. I am not sure though.

And there I was after trying to help that kid, she just released him, and took
me there. Those were just a few minutes I was imprisoned, because when my dad
came, he strictly told her that he doesnt appreciate that method. I was
released. That left the fingerprint on me.

Then at my earlier teens, I still didnt understand that it is something
sexual. I just liked it. The mixture of being wrestled down, being sat on,
then a foot on my chest throat. That was still like a game to me. Then for a
time it disappeared. I was too shy to get into it with someone, because I
thought this is an ugly thing, people will dislike and call me a pervert. It
slightened from time to time. The only thing left to me for that silence
period was the movies. Rare mixed wrestling scenes, foot domination, worship
scenes. Now when I list through you mixed wrestling scenes in movies
collection I remember most of them, the old ones an the new ones. I sometimes
think if there was no stimulos at the silence time, it would have disappeared
completely. I would never even remember it. But...

But then came the epoch of the internet, latest 1990s. I remeber around my
first searches there was something like "girl wins guy". Slowly after I
started to get into the infinite fields of the internet, I came around a few
sites loosely bound to the topic. Going through the links from time to time
made the huge wave that was staying behind me rush towards me like the storm
in the middle of the ocean. I understood what was making my thing down there
(sorry) bump when I saw the movie scenes. I understood what lies in the
essence of that feeling. It, my feeling, started reflecting on my like never
before. I was full of desire. I was mad. The internet was a whole of a new
world. As I got an advanced internet user, I could find so many stuff, and
each time the desire was growing, the fetish was growing.

There was the seed in the childhood, then when I grew up to my later teens
there was the stem and the branches. Now that Im writing this to you, I think
it's the completion of the head part of the mixed wrestling fetish tree in my
heart.

I don't think anyone else in the world feels the same as I feel when a female
is sitting down on my chest in a capture or domination pose. I don't think
anyone else feels the same sexual rush in the blood, when he is trying to get
his head from off between the legs of a woman and not achieving it, even
fakely. I dont't think anyone else feels the same sexual rush when after being
defeated the person of the opposite sex stands by your head and puts her one
foot on your throat in a declamation of the victory. It's not only physical,
its also emotional, it is something bounded to my soul. The fetish of the
essence of the domination in mixed wrestling is the thing that is deep inside
my heart. How it developed I told you. Most of you wouldnt believe the steps
in my childhoood that created the seed. But that is the truth.

Does it make me a pervert? Well, it probably changed me into a different
person. Perhaps emotionally a bit shy. I have a job, I have another speciality
besides the job, that would probably seem too difficult for most of the
people. I wont announce it, if you dont mind. I have friends, one near good
friend. I don't feel there is something missing in me that exists in other
people. Im a bit less decisive. I am living a consistent life, I have love in
my life, I have my own points about most of the topic I ever heard and got
interested in. I can make people laugh. I can be totally sincere. So, you
decide the answer of the question.

I live in a country that lacks the environment in which I could make all my
wishes real. And that is a problem.

Do I regret that I'm a bit different from most of other people? I guess not.

Thanks for reading my story. I wish all of you a good consistent life with not
much worries and problems.