Corbin: The College Years, part 11
By Corbin, corbin@poetic.com
How life
tests the endurance, patience, and sometimes faith of one young woman.
***TAKE NOTE***
My email address has changed.
Why? Because Hotmail is crap!
Actually I really don’t know any of the techno-mumbo-jumbo reasons,
but I have not been getting any emails for the past three days. AND NO, MY
MAILBOX IS NOT FULL AND I JUST THINK HOTMAIL SUCKS AT THIS POINT! SO :P !!
So for anyone that has been
sending me love/hate mail, you’ll just have to re-send it.
Pre-Story Introduction/Ranting/Venting/Rambling…
I’m listening to the Rolling Stones as I type
this…not their new stuff…the classical stuff, I don’t know why but their older
music really gets me into writing mode. I’m actually smirking as I just wrote
that…”writing mode”, that’s funny…I still don’t consider myself a writer…I just
put down what I know. Someone asked me about why the third person frame of
reference…I don’t know why, it just feels safe…writing from what’s going in my
head is kind of personal. This type of stuff I don’t mind, the rambling crap…but
I am not sure I want to invite everyone into my head as I retell every personal
thought…although I have already revealed some very personal
moments/actions/feelings. We shall see, maybe it would be better and easier…who
knows…
Speaking of Music…I like all music that has a
good beat to it…except your typical country-cowshit
kicking-boot licking-riding on the range bullshit. I mean really now, all those
country music songs sound the fucking same…pathetic…guys singing about what!!?
I’ll tell you what, their women left them, their horse has gone lame and their
dog died…WHAA WHAAA Cry me a river. And why do those guys wear those big hats? Cause their bald underneath, just suck it up and face facts,
Rogaine didn’t work for you so now you plop a giant hat on your head to cover
of your baldness…you are fooling NO ONE!!
So, I guess I should restate something, other
then Country, I listen to Hip-Hop, R&B, Classical, Metal, Alternative…like
I said the whole spectrum (Except country): Godsmack,
POD, System of a Down, No Doubt, Mary J. Blige, Chili
Peppers, Norah Jones, Josh Groban, Evanescence, Dido,
Joss Stone, U2….just to name a few….
I thought my friend Nikki would kill me when I
threw out her Justin Timberlake CD, although I claimed I lost it. I think she
knew I threw it out when I told her I borrowed it and then said I lost it, only
to refuse and buy her a replacement. Timberlake…PUUHHLLEASE…give me a
break…what was she thinking…I did her a favor. I would have disowned her as a
friend if I found a Brittany Spears or Christina CD in her pile…those
cheap-breast-implanted no talent whores, I don’t know what you guys see in
them…well other then your dicks I suppose. I guess I just answered my own
question…yuck...gross…
So, now that I have gotten all of the angst of my
system…on with Part uhmmmm…..11….
Part 11
Walking into the nearly deserted gym after
Christmas break, Corbin instantly noticed she was not alone. Now this
displeased her as it was her intention to head back to school a little early
for some privacy and refocus on getting back into the ‘swing of things’. The
gym was not at all crowded, but two occupants where there; A black guy and a
white guy, ‘And boy do they seem to be in full
juvenile mode' Corbin thought and proceeded to warm up on the furthest end of
the weight room.
Normally, Corbin wouldn’t start with the bench
press, but it was as far from the two clowns as she could get. However, 'Loser
#1' the white guy and ‘Loser #2’ the black guy, as Corbin affectionately
referred to them, had other plans-
"Hey little lady, mind
if we cut in?" Loser #1 said and smiled over at his
buddy 'Loser #2’, for some reason as he made the comment, as if they were some
comedy team…Corbin was totally unable to fathom why both thought that
“little-lady” comment was worthy of a chuckle. ‘And why in the hell did they
come all the way over here!’ Corbin fumed privately, when she had purposely
selected the machine furthest away from them.
‘Why?’ was easy to answer from a man’s
perspective, their ‘chick radar’ had gone off instantly when the blonde walked
in. Corbin already had become the focus of much male attention on Campus, but
her focus on studies and athletics while keeping everyone at ‘arms length’ put
her in the realm of ‘total snob’ in most male eyes. Some guys, like the one’s
here in the gym took the ‘go for broke’ attitude, where they just would
interject themselves hoping to strike up a conversation or something. The
closer they got to her, the harder it was for either guy to take their eyes off
of her, her toned muscular legs and arms looked so smooth and flawless and she
had probably the best set of breasts on campus, ‘assuming they are real’ many
guys would comment.
Corbin brought her head up off the bench just
long enough to say: "One more set" and did something she had never
done before. Her temper totally flared and she reached back with her right arm
and yanked the pin out and slammed it into the very bottom weight. She was so
flustered she couldn't recall how much it was and carefully repositioned
herself under the bar, 'Please god, please don't let me make a fool out of
myself' and with that, she poured every bit of hate, love, disappointment,
anger, resentment into the press; Her muscles slowly flexed, like a locomotive
building up speed, and then amazingly the bar slowly lifted, she knew she was
having to put everything she had into it, but even with shaking arms the bar
went all the way up. Daringly, she tried to repeat the maneuver, her heart felt
like it would burst, but not from pumping the weight, but for this moment of
exhilaration to maybe shut these guys down. She managed to push up a fourth
time when her body warned her it was about to expire and she
slowly...gently…set the bar down. Corbin’s little stunt apparently had some
effect, as the two buffoons stood silent during her reps and Corbin took a deep
breath as she slowly sat up, her body wet with perspiration. 'Loser #1' was
standing closest by the machine and looked dumb struck when she stood, she was
now eye-to-eye with him, her 5'10" frame was imposing and Corbin simply
said, "It's all yours big boy" with a coy smile that obviously caught
the guy a little off guard.
That comment was totally out of character for
Corbin and she turned around and stood about five feet away placing her hands
on her hips to watch. ‘Loser #1’ looked down at the weights, it was the moment
she had been waiting for actually, it also bugged out Corbin’s eyes a little
when she saw the pin was inserted on the bottom weight and it read: 250lbs’ and
she actually staggered back a couple of steps in disbelief. ‘It’s not the same
as bench pressing 250lbs of free weights, but still…’ she was impressed with
herself.
Another smug look came over her face as it didn't
look like he was going to be able to pull it off. ‘Either he was about to make
an ass of himself in trying to match me or admit he can’t and move the pin’
Corbin quickly assessed. He shook his head and pulled the pin out looking over
his shoulder to his friend, "That's got me beat".
"Damn girl! What kind of ‘roids are you taking?" Loser #2 asked, in a tone that
hinted a return of their prior smart-aleck attitude.
“It’s called eating healthy and taking your
vitamins, you guys might want to substitute that into your diet of beer and
cigarettes” Corbin just flipped the towel over her left shoulder and spun
around on her toes, "Later guys!" She waved. But still, she was able
to make out a few unflattering comments about her personality as she walked
away even while she could feel they’re eyes riveted to her ass, she wore baggy
workout shorts, but still that didn’t hinder guys from staring.
For the first time since her night with Nikki
several days ago, Corbin was walking on cloud nine! Feeling totally
exhilarated. Her fast paced walk turned into a light jog as she was now
practically running back to her dorm room with joy. Quickly she started to
undress, and as she pulled off her shorts and top she stood in front of the
mirror, her white silk panties were soaked with perspiration as was her bra.
Looking at her sweating, toned body in the mirror, it was the first time she
can remember in a long time coming off a workout and feeling so incredibly
proud of her body and…horny! ‘Oh my god’ she thought as she eyed herself, she
was actually getting turned on by everything that had happened in the gym and
how she looked in the mirror.
"To hell with it" She mumbled and
peeled off her sweat soaked bra and panties, and laid back on her bed. Slowly
her left hand moved over her sweaty, sticky chest, stopping briefly over her
hard nipples before moving on as her finger tips felt the rolls of muscle along
her abs sending a warming sensation thru her vagina. Slowly she closed her eyes
and tilted her head back, she was surprised that it took no fantasy to increase
her state of arousal, just the simple touches she gave herself as she explored
her body. Finally, when she felt ready, Corbin pulled her knees up and sticky
vaginal lips parted as her right hand moved down to hold them open as her left
forefinger gently began to graze over top of her extended clit. Her well
endowed chest heaved a few times as she sought to delay the building orgasm as
her finger continued it’s teasing, light touches over her labia and clit.
Periodically she would bring her hand back up and pinch her nipples, which
caused her rock hard body to begin a slow convulsion on the bed. Her first
orgasm was nothing more then an intense shiver…her second elicited an audible
moan from her throat, and Corbin sped up the strokes and pressure on her clit
as she allowed herself to moan until she had to roll her head over and bite
back a scream into her pillow, her whole body beginning a squirming and
thrashing dance on the bed. Finally, she pulled her finger away from her overly
sensitive clit as she let the pillow case free from her jaws, her eyes still
closed as she rolled her head back around, gasping for air. Feeling naughty,
she brought her fingers up to her lips and tasted herself, it was mixed with
her sweat and had distinct taste and odor, when her tongue came out to lick at
her fingertips some more, she actually felt a little ashamed, but sexually
satisfied at the same time.
Totally sated (and trust me I was:)
only her eyes moved as she blinked, concentrating only on the sound of her
breathing and the wonderful intensity that she had just experienced. Corbin
remained naked on top of her sheets as she listened to the voices of only a
handful of students outside the hall, when unexpectedly her eyes welled up with
tears. Only a couple of tears escaped, but it suddenly dawned on her that a
really great day of her life had just come to a close as night was beginning to
fall and here she was, all alone...'No boyfriend, no friends...save for Nikki',
she didn't even know where things with Sharon stood anymore…”My best friend?”
Corbin whimpered slightly, feeling a wave of sadness and resentment at the
distance that had grown between them. It seemed that exercise and studying were
the only two things left that she had…and of course her family that cared for
her deeply. It surprised Corbin that she actually included the lack of a
boyfriend amongst her list of longings…when she had purposively rejected
attempts by many guys over the past few months. “How odd” she said, her voice
barely audible as if came from deep within her throat.
~~~~~
Her run-ins with
Yet, Corbin made an unusual confession to Nikki
one day;
“I think I am suffering from a full blown
depression” Corbin said solemnly as they sat outside in the Student Common
Area. Nikki didn't say a word but gently laid her left hand on Corbin's right
wrist, just letting her know she heard her and was there to listen. Nikki was
not the kind of person to say something just for the sake of talking, but she
did help Corbin to focus on getting back on her feet.
Finally, Nikki turned a little more towards
Corbin and spoke, “Look, I know your friendship with
Corbin smiled and looked over at Nikki, “Thanks,
just hearing that helps allot. A little reminder, now and again, seems to
help”, but on the inside, a little deeper she could feel some type of turmoil
building.
As they got up to leave, Nikki hesitated and
pulled Corbin aside, “Look, I need to talk to you about something, but you have
to promise me that you will not repeat what I am about to tell you,
understand?” Nikki urgently said.
Corbin froze; the gravity of the comment caused
her to become rooted to the cement sidewalk, “What is it?” Corbin leaned in and
asked in her quietest voice.
Nikki smiled a little when she saw the effect she
was having and touched Corbin’s left forearm reassuringly, “I’m sorry, I don’t
mean to be dramatic. It’s just that, I was sworn to secrecy and telling you
would mean breaking a promise”
“Come on, come on, you’re killing me here” Corbin
nervously smiled.
“Well, every new freshmen on the Soccer team goes
through a…hmmm” Nikki seemed to tense and bite her lower lip while searching
for the right words.
“Through what?” Corbin leaned in some more,
intensely studying Nikki for some information.
“A type of initiation ceremony” Nikki paused and
looked into Corbin’s eyes for some initial reaction.
“Why kind of initiation ceremony?” Corbin leaned
back as her eyes did in fact narrow with suspicion.
“It could be any number of things, kind of like a
right-of-passage, it’s very harmless” the black haired girl kept her voice
steady and her gaze even, but she could tell Corbin was getting irritated.
“You mean a HAZING ritual!” Corbin face turned
grave, serious and even a bit angry.
Nikki wasn’t going to refute that reference, for
in fact that’s exactly what it was. “You’ve been in sports before Corbin,
haven’t you ever been thru something like this back in High School?”
“No” Corbin said firmly.
“But I know, YOU know, what I am talking about,
right?”
“Yes” Corbin replied, “Look Nikki, what the hell
is this all about? Could you give me a few details?”
“You came into the season a little later then the
other girls on the team. They’ve already been thru it…”
“Did you go thru ‘it’?” Corbin returned Nikki’s
hard stare.
“Yes” Nikki said calmly, “It’s not bad at all”.
“But it’s degrading…and humiliating…right?”
Corbin raised her left eyebrow knowingly and Nikki just stood in silence and
watched Corbin. Nikki’s lips pressed together and she closed her eyelids as if
to think, and then she opened her eyes when she was ready to respond;
“Yes”.
Corbin appeared calm at first, she took a deep
breath as if contemplating the whole thing and then brought her left hand up,
pointing past Nikki’s right shoulder in the direction of the Soccer field;
“All I want to do is play soccer and if any of
those idiots even lay a finger on me, things will get pretty ugly and they’ll
be the ones on the receiving end of UGLY”
Nikki watched Corbin suddenly turn around and
walk in the direction of her dorm. Nikki took a deep breath and slowly began to
follow her, Corbin knew Nikki was trailing behind her and that was okay. She
flipped on the light switch to her room and sat down on the edge of her bed,
slowly stretching her legs out in front as her body leaned back until her
shoulders touched the wall, which her bed was pushed up against and her eyes
slowly closed.
Nikki sat down on
“What?” Nikki asked softly, taken a little back
by Corbin’s observing stare, as if afraid her mind was being read.
“I was just thinking…” Corbin’s eyes fluttered
and then fully opened, “…it would be nice to have your outlook on
things…life…people…you never seem to get stressed”.
Nikki smiled and bowed her head in thought, her
long straight hair hung down, swaying like black rain that would never touch
the ground. Nikki knew exactly of what Corbin spoke of, she was deeply involved
in Yoga, Martial Arts, and spent hours studying various meditation techniques.
With a quick jerk upright, her head came around flipping her hair up and over
her right shoulder, “Oh, you handle things very well Corbin, in fact, you seem
to have your own calm, determined exterior…”
“Even if things are boiling over on the inside?”
Corbin smiled and leaned forward, quickly interjecting that comment.
“Things boil over for everyone on the inside,
some just deal with it differently on the outside then others” Nikki smiled
knowingly.
“So what’s boiling over inside of you?” Corbin
raised a suspicious eyebrow, not really looking for an answer as much as trying
to call Nikki’s bluff, she suspected that Nikki wanted to become more physical
with Corbin and a part of Corbin wanted that as well, but was scared to breach
the subject…but every once in awhile she wondered and fantasized. Still, it was
hard for Corbin to imagine that Nikki was going thru any turmoil, the way she
seemed to exude such calm, easy going charm.
And then there was dead silence…Nikki just sat
staring with the faintest of smiles as she considered Corbin’s challenge;
“I’m falling in love with someone” and she slowly
blinked her eyes once, letting a deep sigh out of her chest. Nikki wasn’t even
aware she had held her breath; ‘There it is’ Nikki thought, her deepest secret
laid out in the open.
“Wow” Corbin sighed with a smile and leaned
forward some more “Have you told Rick?” Rick being Nikki’s current boyfriend.
“No” Nikki smiled some more, wondering if Corbin was
playing extra dumb and thought about making a blonde joke but decided not to.
“Why? Not the right time? You think he won’t
return you’re feelings maybe!” Corbin had this inquisitive look on her face;
she was genuinely interested in what was going on with her, Nikki felt.
“Rick is not the person I am falling for” Nikki
said in her usual quiet, calm voice. However, the implications of her statement
were unsettling. And Corbin sat confused, not because she didn’t understand the
potential of everything that Nikki was implying, but her lack of relationship
experience left her stumped.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were seeing someone else
Nikki” Corbin began to fidget some. She didn’t think that Nikki had kept such a
big secret from her, but the more she thought about it the more she realized
that was just how Nikki was, very secretive at times.
“I’m not seeing someone else, well…not really...”
Nikki smiled, but Corbin detected some knowingness behind that smile as if
there was a little secret her friend was not letting her in on.
“Will you tell me who it is, or do you not feel
comfortable right now?” Corbin glanced away, not wanting to pry, but she did
want Nikki to confide in her.
“I am telling you” Nikki smiled even more at
Corbin’s bashfulness in asking, even more amusing was the way Corbin blushed
right after she said that.
“So,” Corbin sighed and flipped a lock of blonde
hair over her left shoulder, “does this ‘other’ guy know anything? Does Rick
suspect anything?”
“No, Rick doesn’t suspect anything. And ‘She’
doesn’t know anything either” Nikki sat, studying Corbin’s face, evaluating her
body language and facial expressions. It took a few seconds to register and the
perplexion came over Corbin’s face for a minute.
*Aghem* Corbin cleared
her throat and blinked off into space before looking over at Nikki, “Wait, you
used the word ‘she’, right?” Corbin lips betrayed a nervous smile and was sure Nik could tell that her cheeks were trembling a bit.
Nikki gave a half-hearted smile, the first sign
that there was real trouble brewing behind her calm exterior, Corbin even
watched the muscles along Nikki’s neck constrict as she swallowed hard before
speaking;
“Yes, I am falling in love with another woman”
Nikki’s smile faded and her expression was now serious as her head tilted a
little to her left and Corbin could see her reaction was being waited upon.
“Oh my gosh” Corbin slightly gushed with a
nervous smile and propped her left elbow onto her left knee, cradling her cheek
into her left palm. Her hand then moved from her cheek as her fingers plowed
thru lengths of blonde hair, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say, that’s
incredible, I mean…well…who is she?!” Corbin laughed and leaned forward,
wrapping her arms around her knees in a protective ball. But the laugh was
short lived as she looked back down to the floor, afraid of looking at Nikki as
well as the answer she might be about to reveal.
“I don’t want to say right now” Nikki smiled.
“Does she know?” Corbin smiled and glanced up
quickly before looking away.
“No but she needs to get a clue” Nikki sighed and
lowered her head maybe not even an inch, her eyes turning into dark pools
reflecting back at Corbin with all trace of humor gone.
Corbin felt her face become flushed as she
stared, realizing that they’re verbal banter had come to an end…and now the
reality of what Nikki was implying suddenly crashed down on her.
“Nik?” Corbin pleaded,
her body now burning up as she pulled on her knees with greater anxiety. She
watched Nikki slowly stand and walk towards her, she felt like some little girl
cowering on the edge of her bed, watching her friend approach and sit down next
to her.
“Shhh” Nikki whispered
and stroked Corbin’s hair and back, pulling her close.
Corbin wasn’t sure how it all made her feel,
maybe because she had yet to fully experience anything as intense as being
‘In-Love’ with someone, or so she suspected as much. Corbin took a deep breath
and exhaled with a sigh, her arms went limp while he elbows remained resting on
her knees, she remained in a semi-hunched position on the edge of the bed but
leaning into her friend, it felt good. “I just wanted to tell you, I care for
you Corbin…more then I have ever cared for anyone.”
“I care for you too” Corbin whispered as she
remained curled into a ball, leaning against her black haired friend who
continued giving comfort.
“Don’t worry, this is just between us, okay?”
Nikki sighed.
Slowly Corbin untangled herself and went to stand
up, it was getting late and Nikki followed Corbin’s lead, moving towards the door
as they went to say they’re good byes. It seemed appropriate, Nikki didn’t want
to push things any further and felt a twinge of regret at having dumping so
much at the feet of her blonde friend. Corbin stood waiting by the door and
stretched to her full 5’ 10” almost 11” inch height and let out a deep groan,
accompanied by a flash of her disarming radiant smile.
“What?” Nikki glanced over suspiciously,
wondering what lay behind the sudden smile.
“You…that’s what, this is messing with my mind
something awful” Corbin took her right index finger and firmly jabbed it into
the right side of her head repeatedly. Slowly she walked over to the door while
Nikki simply stood, her eyes absorbing Corbin’s impressive statuesque height
and figure, drinking in her walk…mannerisms…beautifully flowing blonde hair. It
suddenly dawned on Nikki that as alluring as she was, as beautiful, as sensual
as her abilities and attributes were…she was the one under a spell…not Corbin.
“What are YOU staring at?” Corbin sighed with a
knowing smile as she let her left shoulder lean against the frame of the door
while folding her arms over her ample chest. Nikki mimicked Corbin’s stance and
folded her arms across her chest letting her own right shoulder lean into the
door. Nikki said nothing, put simply stared deep into those hazel eyes while
trying to restrain a smile.
Corbin blushed a little and stuck her right hand
out playfully pushing on Nikki’s left shoulder forcing her friend to take a
step back. Corbin’s hand withdrew, but only made it halfway back to her side
when Nikki’s left hand flew out and grabbed her wrist…firmly, indicating she
wasn’t going to let go easily.
“You want something?” Corbin whispered out her
question and just then Nikki’s grip softened, moving up to Corbin’s hand as
their fingers interlaced with one another.
“Yes, I do” Nikki whispered back.
Corbin sighed nervously and closed her eyes,
maybe pretending the moment wasn’t happening or perhaps savoring the sensation.
‘The latter most definitely’ Corbin thought not realizing how much she had
missed her friend’s touch. Corbin smiled and opened her eyes shocked that their
faces were now so close together, “Oh Nikki” Corbin almost cried as her
expression became emotional again.
“Corbin” Nikki moaned and leaned forward pressing
her lips into her friend, it was a gentle kiss this time, but one that seemed
to suddenly explode passionately as they kissed and sucked on one another’s
lips. Hands cradled and touched faces…necks…hair as their mouths consumed one
another before tongues snaked out as if engaging in a frantic wrestling match.
Corbin started leaning into her friend as they embraced, her knees starting to
shake with anxiety. The kiss slowed and Corbin blushed as she pulled away;
“What?” Nikki asked following her friend’s retreating lips, taunting her with
kisses and a swipe of her tongue.
“I love you too” Corbin smiled again and looked
up, the glistening in her eyes melted Nikki’s heart.
“Oh Corbin” Nikki gushed and cradled her blonde
lovers face, “Thank you for saying that”, although lover’s only in the
spiritual sense, Nikki had started to wonder about more…much more…something
more physical. ‘Get control quickly’ Nikki’s subconscious warned and the dark
haired girl made a change in tactics, her left hand gripped Corbin’s right and
led a reluctant Corbin back over to the bed.
“I just want to hold you a little bit” Nikki
whispered with a blush where she tried to ease Corbin’s as well as her own
worries by pulling her into a comfortable embrace. Their bare legs, exposed by
their soccer shorts, crossed and uncrossed over one another as they tried to
keep everything very innocent and above the covers. Corbin admitted that she
still wasn’t comfortable with being in a relationship with Nikki, something
that Nikki herself admitted to being uncomfortable with also. Nikki had a
boyfriend still and wasn’t ready to give up guys altogether and Corbin was
still interested in finding a boyfriend, even if she was picky beyond compare.
“Anyway…” Corbin closed her eyes and shook her
head in despair, “…as far as that other thing…with the initiation from the
Soccer Team, I’ll just deal with it the best I can I know it’s an important
ritual…” Corbin rolled her eyes at how she found the whole thing idiotic, “…so
I’ll do it for-the-team” she said with a humorous sigh.
Nikki sat up and wrapped her arms about the
blonde’s broad shoulders and hugged firmly, “You will do just fine, I know it’s
not your thing, but to some of these girl’s it’s a right of passage that has
been handed down for years”.
“Just nothing over the top I hope” Corbin looked
up and Nikki studied the nervousness behind those hazel eyes, but it was a
nervousness that could be dangerous. Nikki’s seen it before, out on the soccer
field and in the gym, there is a inner strength that Corbin has, that could be
considered dangerous if a person pushed the right buttons at the wrong time…or
the wrong buttons at the right time…’whatever’ Nikki thought to herself, she
just hoped the girl’s on the team didn’t go that far.
“It’ll be fine” Nikki smiled and was suddenly
surprised to feel Corbin’s head tilt toward her, finally coming to rest on her
right shoulder as the blonde returned her hug. With a deep, long drawn out
inhale, Nikki savored every smell and touch of the girl in her embrace, she
smiled feeling that maybe things will work out for the best.