Ironman vs. IronWOMAN Triathlon
by Da Porker



Each September thousands of athletes converge on my city to participate in one
of sports most grueling activities, The Ironman Triathlon. The competition
consists of both professional and amateurs alike to test their individual
skills by first swimming a coarse of 2.4 miles. Next bike 112 miles in
sweltering heat. This takes place not on a track, moreover, on southern
Wisconsin's rolling back country roads, the likes of which most people would
get off their bikes to walk the ascending hillsides - not these super
athletes, they would forge onward at a breakneck pace. the final stage these
sensational athletes were to endure is the marathon run for 26.2 miles that
snakes through the city streets. All along their journey are thousands of fans
and volunteers showing their appreciation and support.

Like all athletes, the people that enter these competitions are extremely
dedicated and focused individuals. They train for months on end and most have
some of the most superbly tuned physiques in the world. This year was no
different except for the blistering heat. Mercury was encroaching on the 94
degree mark. Temperatures of this magnitude will certainly take it's toll on
athletes and spectators alike. I felt my own legs cramping up and I was only a
spectator.

As a big fan of well toned women's comparative anatomy, for my viewing
pleasure, I made sure I had a great vantage point near the final mile of the
race. This is when the racer's bodies are at their maximum pump. Muscles
expanded to their limits and looking their very best, considering they all
have been human continuous motion machines on the average 10 to 13 hours
straight.

I myself, found someone to save my spot until the runners started to come in
... I'm not that dedicated to sit there that long. Plus, my bladder wouldn't
put up with that non-sense anyway. About hour 9.25 I took my place ready to
witness some of the finest gam watching ever.

Next to me were two really obnoxious college aged fellows that obviously had
beverages other than water that they were drinking out of brown paper bags.
From the way they carried on, unlike the other well behaved spectators
cheering on the racers, these guys were making total asses of themselves. The
jeers and other stupid antics began to annoy everyone around them. A police
officer finally came over and told them to "cool it, or you'll have to leave".
They calmed down for a while.

Now the first contestants were in sight and the crowd began to urge them on.
The leader, a Canadian man in his thirties, with only a mile to go before
being declared the winner, had a fatigued look about his whole body. You could
see though, he was elated to be on the home stretch, his legs looked like
typical long distant runner, muscles were long are well defined with little
mass. About 2 minutes later came the second place winner and again came a laud
roar from the fans that lined the streets.

It was about twenty minutes longer, before my first glimpse of the leading
woman. The reason why I came to watch the race in the first place. Her stride
was confident and almost effortless and she looked incredible. Her arms and
legs glistened as shadows danced and made her limbs look like well chiseled
pillars of granite. Her abs were beautiful and tight and as she passed her
glutes were picture perfect. She had much better muscularity than her male
counterpart that finished only twenty some minutes earlier. The only sound I
heard that barely drowned out the pounding of my heart and my heavy breathing
from the spectacle I just observed, came from the two loud mouth guys next to
me. Their wolf whistles were deafening. Although I couldn't blame them, she
was a babe!

Soon, flocks of exquisitely honed female specimen pranced by racing towards
the finish line. Each with their own defined dimensions. Some were tall, some
short but all with thighs of awesome proportion. As one foot touched the
pavement and the pushed off, propelling their bodies forward, using every once
of strength they had offered the best display of their incredible legs and
pumping robust arms. For me, this made for some mighty fine entertainment. It
wasn't long before I too, joined in with the two Bozo's and started making my
own wolf whistles and calls.

A few minutes later, silhouettes of two massive looking athletes were quickly
approaching. Their legs were pumping hard and you could see every muscle just
about popping out of their skin as they got closer. Their arms were ballooned
up from the vast amounts of oxygen they were ingesting deep into their lungs
to keep their pace through to the finish line. Not the usual body stereotypes
of distant runners, their appearance was more like world class bodybuilders.
Although they both had rather small breasts, one could clearly see they were
both ALL woman. With my male member throbbing with delight I cheered along
with the good people around me as the two IronWOMEN ran past. The two guys
standing right next to me, you know, the big mouthed drunks, yelled out;
You're women? You look like a coupla' f ... in' lesbo dykes" ... and yelled
more profanities in their general direction. The two gals, looked back and
glared. I mean, they were hot. Not just from the temperature, but their
tempers as well. If looks could kill ... but continued on towards their final
goal. I could feel the others around me weren't to happy with what was said.
But, ignored the likes of these brainless undergraduates.

About 15 or 20 minutes later, there was quite a commotion in back of me, so I
turned to see what was going on. The two lady contestants came back after
completing their race and were pushing and shoving their way towards me. They
did not look pleased at all. Suddenly, I felt a very strong hand grab my
shoulder and spun me around. I looked at the hand now squeezing my shoulder
and my eyes quickly followed up the Popeye sized forearm and then saw another
arm draw back with a fist larger than my head attached to another well built
forearm and that was connected to a mountain of a bicep. That fist was aimed
right at my face. I was scared shitless. The one I was about to be clobbered
by, said as she held me: "what did I hear you say about me and my friend, we
work to hard to perfect our bodies ... you fat slob you ... I think I'll teach
you some manners"?

Just then, her athletic partner arrived on the scene, just in a nick of time.
She grabbed her friends muscular arm before it launched an assault on my face.
My body was still shaking with fear. She pointed to the two morons standing
next to me and stated: "It was them that referred to us as a couple of ...
what was that you called us?" it sounded like she was daring them to repeat
their snide remarks. One of the dummies, actually had the Gaul to repeat his
insulting words directly to both of these Amazons. The two women then picked
up both of the creeps, groin first, and threw them down hard to the pavement.
The way these ladies were able to "woman handle" these defenseless chauvinist
pigs, I mean they slapped them around so good that it wasn't long before the
two students were crying like little babies besides wetting their shorts as
one could plainly see. The onlookers were so thankful to the two women that
they began to cheer and hoisted the ladies onto their shoulders and carried
them back to the finish area with a hero's salute. Mean while the police came
back and arrested the two "boys" for disorderly conduct, drinking in public
places, littering the streets with their useless selves and urinating in
public places.

A 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride, 26.2 mile run and beating up two low
lives guys later ... these women may not have crossed the finish line first,
second or third, but after they apologized to me and offered to make me dinner
for the torment and pain they almost cost me, they definitely were winners in
my book.