Aren't Men The Saddest Creatures? 
by Lady Luck



Men are such sad and simple creatures. As I mentioned to Janet recently, MEN
is actually an acronym and stands for Moronic Egotistical Numbskull and this
just about sums up a man in a nutshell.

I was in a pub the other week with some of the girls, Julie, Sheila and Sue
for a night of observation. We normally go to "The Duck & Dive" but this
particular night we decided, just for a change, to go to "The Wankers Arms"
because, as the name suggests, that's where all the men go.

We sat down at a table close to the bar and I had my usual lemon and lime
because I was driving (as usual!) and the other girls had gin and orange
and/or rum and coke and we just decided to spend the night observing the
wankers and waiting to see which one would "hit" on us first, and when.

We didn't have long to wait. They are so predictable aren't they?

A couple of knobheads came to the bar and ordered pints of lager. "Can I get
you girls a drink?" one of them asked. Well, it was obvious that we already
all had fresh drinks and so we politely declined. Now just what is it about
these tossers when a woman declines the offer of a drink? They get all
offensive and aggressive and start acting as if you've committed the crime of
the century. "Well I'm only trying to be nice and buy you a drink" he growled,
"there's nothing wrong with that is there!?"

Well no there isn't, but why can't you just take a polite refusal for an
answer and FUCK OFF BACK TO YOUR TABLE!?

So then it started, of course, "You're probably all lesbians anyway. You
wouldn't know what to do if a real man came on to you." "Well actually, dick
face, a real man wouldn't come on to us," Julie said, "but as you're obviously
not a real man you wouldn't know that, would you? Now why don't you and your
friend be good little boys and fuck off! Are you a couple, by the way?" "Oh
Jules," I thought, "fisticuffs are on the way."

I wasn't too bothered to be honest, of course, because I've mentioned before
about Julie. She packs a punch and she'd have knocked them both senseless
without too much problem. However, they took the hint and crawled back to
their little corner. Secretly I think they were both taken aback by Julie's
forthright attitude, and shit themselves. I was glad about that because we
were only there to ogle and laugh at the sad bastards and as much as I would
have loved to watch Julie punch them both out, I was relieved that it didn't
come to that. All it needed was for us to stand up for ourselves verbally for
them to back off.

Anyway guys, I've written something especially for you. I hope you like it.

W is for the WORMS that you resemble
A is for your ANAEMIC little mind
N is for the NAUSEATING habits that you have
K is for the KNOBHEADS that we always seem to find
E is for the ERECTION that you live for
R is for the REVULSION that we feel for you
S is for the SHIT that always comes out of your mouth

A is for the way you ALWAYS make us want to spew
R is for the RASH you are that just won't go away
S is for the SADISM you like to inflict on me
E is for the ENDLESS bollocks that you talk
H is for the HEINOUS way you refer to us as "her" and "she"
O is for the ORGASM that you fail to induce me to
L is for the LIES you always tell
E is for EJACULATING shitbags
S is for your STINKING, SWEATY SMELL

So put them all together and they spell WANKERS & ARSEHOLES or to put it more
succinctly, they spell MEN.

Take a bow Lisa!

Bye for now

Lady Luck