Lady Luck Writes Again
by Lady Luck



Hi there. I just thought I'd relate an incident to you that happened very
recently as I was coming out of Ethel Austin. I'd just bought an absolutely
gorgeous soft velour evening dress; it really was beautiful, kind of figure
hugging and it made me look quite sexy, though I do say so myself. Anyway I
was just making my way to my car when three complete dipsticks confronted me.
One was tall and dopey looking so I'll call him 'Dopey' another one had a face
that looked like a horse's arse and so I'll call him 'Ugly' and the third one,
well he just looked like a dick head and so I'll call him 'Dickie'.

"Hey, you're that fucking tart aren't you," said Dopey, "the one who keeps
making derogatory remarks about men." Obviously I'm paraphrasing here because
he didn't specifically use the word 'derogatory' as his vocabulary didn't
extend that far. "Yeah, you're that slag who keeps sounding off about us,
saying how thick we are and how abusive we are to tarts like you," Ugly
chipped in. How they knew me, I don't quite know. I mean it's not as if I've
got "Men Are Tossers" stamped across my forehead, although I do know a lot of
men who have "Wankers R Us" stamped on theirs.

So I just replied, "Well, the fact that you've just called me a tart and a
slag merely serves to endorse what I've been saying, don't you think?" (Wow,
asking a man if he thinks!). "What do you know about men anyway?" Ugly said.
"Yeah, I bet you've never even had a real man. I bet you're a lesbo," Dickie
suddenly piped up. Not an entirely original remark but what can you expect
from a dick head?

Well really Dickie was right. I haven't ever had a real man. They've all been
tossers, wankers and arseholes. Well, apart from one actually, Albert. Now he
was really sweet but he left me after about 3 months and the last I heard was
that he was shacked up with some bronzed Adonis called Maurice. Yes, he'd
turned out to be gay. Such is life. Anyway, I digress. These three loonies
were starting to piss me off but I really wasn't too thrilled with the odds of
three to one. I did actually take judo lessons for about 3 years when I was in
my teens and so I know the finer rudiments of self- defence and if there'd
just been one of them then I'm pretty confident that I could have taken him
down. I might have even given a good account of myself against two of them but
I decided that discretion was the better part of valour and made a dash for my
car and drove home as fast as possible. I did wonder if I'd let my sex down,
though but anyway, girls, read on.

That night I was in my flat and I went to draw the shades at about 9pm and I
saw these three figures hanging around outside. They looked familiar and then
I realised it was Dopey, Ugly and Dickie. I thought, 'shit they've followed
me. Now what the hell do they want?' which was somewhat of a rhetorical
question because I knew exactly what they wanted. Me! Like I said before, I
can do judo but I didn't really fancy taking all three of them on, but I knew
a woman who could! So I phoned my friend, Julie. She is so fit and athletic.
She's not into body building or anything like that but she does use weights in
her training regime and she's got muscles in all the right places, whilst
remaining incredibly feminine. And my God can she pack a punch!

I remember one night at a club in town when she was on the dance floor. I'd
just taken a rest and was watching. Now everybody dances with Julie. She seems
to attract men like flies round a cow's arsehole. In fact, some of the men she
attracts look as if they've just come out of a cow's arsehole! Anyway this one
bloke got a bit too amorous, pushed his luck and grabbed her arse. Well she
decked him. It was brilliant. She whacked him straight in the mouth. I think
it was a combination of the power and the shock that put him down but it was
superb. She didn't even get ejected. The bouncers had seen the incident and
just carried him out. I think they were actually really quite impressed. I
know we girls were. In fact, when I went to the Ladies all I could hear was,
'Did you see it?' 'Did you see her?' ' Wasn't it fantastic?' ' Wish it had
been me.' So I had no qualms about phoning Julie and asking her to come over.

When she turned up, it was about half past nine and as soon as I saw her I
came out feeling a lot safer. She got out of her car and walked straight up to
Dopey and asked him what was going on. He told her it was nothing to do with
her and to fuck off and mind her own business. Well, if there's one thing you
don't say to Julie it's 'mind your own business'. She said she was making it
her business. OK! Ugly said that they'd just come for her (pointing at me) and
so why didn't she just fuck off home before she got hurt as well. At this
point I was almost smiling to myself because I knew that to threaten Julie was
total folly.

She walked up to Dopey and said something like, "Right you're the biggest,
I'll take you first, you and me, here, now," and then she turned to Ugly and
said, "and then I'm taking you next."

Dickie said nothing but he was standing closest to me and as soon as Julie
kicked Dopey in the balls, he turned round and made a grab for my tits, the
moron. Well I grabbed his arm and then got him in a headlock and then threw
him on the floor with a judo throw. I swear that he tried to look up my skirt
as he was on the ground. Julie punched Dopey in the stomach and then grabbed
his arm and flipped him onto the floor. I think he called her a fucking bitch,
or something like that and threatened to kill her. In the meantime,
remembering my basic training, I kneed Dickie in the balls and then grabbed
his head and pushed it down as hard and fast as I could whilst bringing my
right knee up just as quickly to meet his jaw. Then I heard 'thwack!' and saw
Dopey go back down after Julie had landed one of her power punches to his jaw.
Well that was Dopey out of the equation, at least for the time being anyway. I
kicked Dickie up the arse and he ran off like a scared cat.

Ugly just stood there frozen. It was now two women against one man and now he
didn't like the odds. He was absolutely shit scared of us. Anyway he suddenly
turned and bolted and Julie and I just legged it after him. Julie caught him
up first because she's a bit quicker than I am and so I just left him to her.
I sat on a wall watching and shouting words of encouragement, like "Go on
Julie!" " Throw him Julie!" "Put him on the floor Julie!" "Lovely punch Julie"
"Oh yes". "Take him Julie!" Ooooooooooooo it was such a thrill to watch a
woman totally outclass a man in a fight. My heart was pounding and I almost
wet my panties with excitement. She landed an absolute beauty to his nose and
drew blood. In fact I think she may have broken it. Anyway, he'd had enough
and Julie said that if she ever saw him again that she'd give him a really
good hiding. I thought to myself, 'well if that wasn't a bloody good hiding
then I don't know what is.' Anyway she sent him packing with a dismissive
flick of her heel up his arse and we headed back to my flat.

Dopey was just about to get up as we arrived and he called Julie a fucking
cow. "You've broken my right arm, you fucking cow," or words to that effect.
Julie said that if he didn't apologise to her then she'd break his left arm as
well. She grabbed his wrist, twisted it and got him in an arm lock just to
show him that she wasn't joking. Guess what. He apologised. She let him up and
then told him that if he ever wanted to fight her again either boxing,
wrestling or just a fist fight, that he should let her know and she'd be more
than happy to oblige him. Now I'm not a betting woman but if I was then I know
where my money would be if they ever fought again!

Julie was absolutely fantastic and she made me so proud to be a woman that
night. Don't get me wrong. I'm always proud to be a woman but that night just
seemed a little bit special. You know, one day in the future we will be
universally recognised as the smarter, wittier, stronger, tougher, more
resilient and more resourceful of the sexes. In short women will be
acknowledged as the superior sex, and when that most glorious and joyous
moment arrives, we shall hold street parties celebrating, 'Women's Supremacy
Day' all over the world.

KEEP THE FAITH GIRLS

Bye for now

Lady Luck