The Bartender with the Black Belt
MA Adams
Carly the bartender has to put a drunk customer in his place


Things were actually kind of slow at the bar for a St. Patrick's Day - Carly
was not going to make her normal weekend tips with this crowd. A few drunks
had just wandered in and were shouting out some drink orders that she was
ignoring. A couple of regulars were in - Roy, and older guy who was a pretty
harmless lush, and a couple of big, overweight guys who always came in for NFL
games - they were all nice enough though.

There was also a pretty cute guy - early 30's, short brown hair, nice build.
He was into about his 4th beer and with each one that he downed, he was
leering at Carly a little harder.

About 3 months ago, Brian, the bar manager, had "suggested" that the
bartenders and waitresses dress a little more sexy. Carly had complied by
tying the waist of her white tee shirt up above her midriff, showing off her
nice stomach. She complemented this with a pair of low-waist, tight black
stretch pants. She didn't mind the looks she was getting - and there were lots
of them. After all, she had been working out almost every day for the last
year. The kickboxing classes that she teaches two days a week gave her a nice
firm body. She had nice, toned long legs. They ended in her beautiful,
heart-shaped ass. This is something that she was pretty proud of - she had
stopped enough traffic and turned enough heads over the years so that there
was no doubt in her mind that when she walked in a room every male eye in the
place was going to lock on to her sweet little rear end. She had a great ass
and she KNEW it.

And then there was the little matter of the light, aqua blue thong that she
picked out that morning. The thing about these low cut pants was that you had
to be careful about what underwear you wore because bending over usually
caused them to peek out. The first time she wore these pants she had been
wearing a leopard patterned thong, and Brian and others had kept making
comments about it. "It's a jungle out there" he had said to Malcolm, who
nodded knowingly at this remark. They must have either thought she was stupid
or they just didn't care about what male chauvinist pigs it made them look
like. Since then, she relished the thought when she dressed for work of which
of her impressive collection of thong underwear she would treat the male bar
customers to that day. One day it might be her simple, white cotton
micro-thong. The next day maybe a classic black silk one. She had a custom
made one that was white with black straps that had korean symbols on it
spelling out "the way of the foot",the english translation of tae kwon do, a
martial art form in which Carly just happened to hold a 4th degree black belt.

Today it was the nice sheer, aqua blue thong that was giving Mr. Four Beers -
make that Mr. Five Beers now - quite a show. Carly knew she was teasing men
with the almost always visible thong, but guys like this one were a bit of a
problem. As the alcohol started to kick in, he went from glancing to catch a
peek when he thought she wasn't looking to outright radar lock on her every
move. It was beginning to make her self concious when she heard him muttering
"Hmmm,hmmm,hmmm" as she bent over to get milk from the cooler for a White
Russian.

She had been through this enough times to know if you aren't careful with
these types, the alcohol can cause them to get their nerves up and stop them
from thinking clearly. Carly had a strict "look all you want, but don't dare
touch" policy with guys. She didn't mind the blatant staring, but guys would
sometimes "accidently" brush up against her or even worse, out and out grab
her ass in a crowd. There is nothing that made her more mad than being groped.
Before Tae Kwon Do, she would get angry and slap or scream at these type of
grabby fellows. TKD gave her the confidence to warn politely but firmly, and
if that doesn't work, well, they just better be prepared to deal with the
consequences.

She was trying to continue to ignore Mr. Six Beers when she realized that she
must have been bent over for a good 30 seconds. He brought this to her
attended with - believe it or not - a barely audible wolf whistle. Carly
couldn't believe that there where men who actually still did that. What a
complete jerk!

She raised up and turned her head around to give him a glare. His eyes were
completely fixated on her ass - she looked down to see that her thong was
sticking out quite a bit - and looked back at him. His eyes didn't even move
from ass. She leaned over and picked up a bar towel and tossed it in front of
him.

"Here - I think you are going to need this" she said slyly.

Surprised, he awoke from his thong filled daydream to look at the towel and
the area around his beer. "Did I spill something?" he stammered.

"No - but I think you need to wipe the drool from your chin" she replied.

His face began to turn crimson red as the guy next to him started giggling. It
wasn't like that guy wasn't doing his share of staring - but at least he had
the decency to at least glance up at the TV occasionally. Carly could see the
wheels turning in the drooler's head as he searched for a response.

Finally, he spat out "Right - like you dress like that so that guys won't
check you out, huh?"

"There is a difference between checking someone out and staring a hole through
someone. You haven't taken your eyes off my ass for the last hour" she shot
back.

His face was still red and he was starting to get a little angry. The alcohol
didn't help his demeanor.

"The last time I checked, it was a free country and my eyes can look wherever
they want. Why don't you just wiggle your little ass over there and get me
another beer, Sweetie?"

Carly had had enough now. "Not in my bar, pal. You're done. Pay your tab and
get out." She said, pointing at the door.

He stood up and started to reach into his pocket. suddenly, he sat back down.
"Not until I finish my beer" he sarcastically said. He barely had anything in
the glass on the bar.

Carly tried to remain calm. She ducked under the serving bar and walked around
to where they guy was standing. She was about 2 feet from him now. He turned
to face her as she said "I asked you politely. You're done for today - pay
your tab and get out."

"I didn't think it was so "polite". I would hate to see how you ask someone
impolitely" he said with a slight slur, proud of himself for what he thought
was a good comeback.

"Yes, asshole, you WOULD hate that" Carly retorted.

This brought a couple of laughs from the few remaining guys sitting at the
bar. The jerk was starting to turn redder by the minute - as much from anger
now as from embarassment.

He came back with "Well maybe you'll just have to call the big bad bouncer
over here to through me out."

"No need for that" Carly responded confidently "I'll throw you out myself.
After you pay your check"

"Wooo-ooh" he mocked "I'm so scared that the piece of ass bartender is going
to throw me out". Looking around increduously at his fellow patrons, none of
whom gave him any indication of support.

Carly decided to try one last attempt at reason. "Look, you've had a few
drinks and enjoyed the view. No harm done - I'd just like for you to pay your
tab and leave"

Surprisingly, it seemed to work. "Now that's much better. That's the type of
treatment I would expect from a lady such as yourself." He reached in his
pocket and pulled out a wad of bills - he must have had $1000 in cash. "I
might even leave you a nice tip" he said. He peeled off a hundred dollar bill
and started to hand it to Carly, but dropped it as she reached for it.

She reflexively bent over to pick up the money when she realized he did it on
purpose. "Oops" he slyly said as she reached for the bill, bent straight over
with thong exposed for Mr. Drooler to see.

She couldn't believe what happened next. The guy actually reached out and
pulled her thong back, allowing it to snap back against her ass. "Thanks for
the show" he said smiling as he reached to get his coat.

He had just made a big mistake. Carly knew the law well enough to know that
this consituted physical assault and that she had every right to defend
herself. She stepped back as the guy started to stride past her for the door.
"You are going to be very sorry you did that" she said, grinning from ear to
ear.

As he started to walk towards the big screen room, presumably headed for the
back exit, Carly caught up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He stopped
and turned around, completely unaware of what was about to happen to him.

Carly set herself in a sparring stance - left arm straight down and right arm
cocked in front of her chest. His brow wrinkled into a frown as he wondered
what in the world was going on. His confusion didn't last long as Carly shot a
snap kick straight up at him with her heel connecting squarely under his jaw,
snapping his head back and causing him to stagger backwards and let go loud
grunt of "Umph!"

The one thing Carly knew from sparring and self-defense was that once you
started a fight, you better be prepared to finish it. She knew this guy was
drunk and probably no match for her, but he still outweighed her by about 50
pounds and had more than a couple of inches on her. She was not about to give
him a chance to retaliate, following the staggering buffoon back with a kick
to the midsection. Another loud grunt, and the desired effect of having his
head lowered to a point that she could easily reach it with a more forceful
half roundhouse kick, which she promplty delivered two of, both landing
approximately in the area of his left eye. Onlookers were beginning to cheer a
little, but most were just gawking at the sight of Carly's martial arts
display in manhandling this guy. The asshole was reeling and backpeddling with
a stunned look on his face.

She was making a show of it now "You can look all you want" - kick to the
right eye, loud grunt "but do not" - kick to the jaw, saliva and blood flying
from his mouth - "TOUCH" she ended loudly with a reverse snap to mirror the
last kick without ever bringing her leg back down.

He had backed up all the way to the end of the wall in front of a Michelob
mirror. Blood was streaming from his mouth now. Both his eyes were red and his
left one had a nice big mouse on it already that was soon going to swell into
a full-fledged black eye.

The stunned crowd was waiting to see what was going to happen next, but Carly
needed to end this now before someone stepped in. Things can only get worse
when that happens. The asshole was resting against the wall, eyes glazed,
barely able to stand, too stupid to beg for mercy. Carly set herself again and
measured her target for her finishing move.

"Sweet dreams, asshole" she heard herself say as she spun around gracefully,
bringing her right leg up in an arch and snapping it to full extension to
connect directly with his nose. She even subconsiously let out a somewhat loud
ki "Eee-YA". The poor jerk's head cracked against the mirror, unbelievably not
breaking it. She saw his eyes roll up into the back of his head, his knees
buckle, and he fell forward. The most ironic thing is that he passed mere
inches from her lovely ass as he went by. Had he been concious, he would have
had an amazing view of the sexy aqua blue thong that was his downfall.

Instead he saw nothing but blackness as the floor came rushing up to meet him.
He crashed to the floor, out like a light. Blood was covering his mouth and
starting to run from his nose a little bit. His left eye was really swollen
and the right had a nice purple hue to it as well. By the time he woke up in
the hospital, they were both completely shut. The final total - two black
eyes, broken nose,two cracked teeth, and a concussion.

But that would be hours later. For now, he was lying on the floor of a bar,
Carly standing over him, still in a fighting stance. The crowd of people in
the big screen room were cheering and whistling. Brian and a couple of other
busboys were now hovering over the asshole, looking for signs of life and
preparing to move him.

"Get this asshole out of my bar" Carly said, returning to her post. As she
ducked back under the server bar and turned to a newly arrived and unware
customer, she gradually pulled her pants up to cover the lovely blue thong. No
need in causing any more trouble for now, she thought. "What can I get you?"
she asked, and flashed him a glowing smile.