Rule Number One  
by 'Any Given Sunday'



I had been going to aerobics classes at the local gym for two years when I
first encountered Yvonne. She was almost a foot taller than any of the other
ladies waiting in the queue, muscular, sun-tanned, short-cropped blonde hair
and probably in her mid-thirties. As I looked her over I noticed that she
seemed to be sizing me up, and I slid over in her direction and commented that
it was an unusual pleasure for me to see eye-to-eye with a woman. She smiled
at me with a somewhat wolfish grin and then the queue started to move. I took
up my usual place in the class and looked right to find out that Yvonne had
pushed her way through the other ladies to take the place by my side. I
reflected that this was not a wise move as we were both large people.

The class started and my concentration was quickly focussed on the instructor.
However when we performed outer thigh lifts I found that my hands were
clashing with Yvonne's. Soon after the class progressed to travelling
movements and as I moved right I suddenly collided violently chest-to-chest
with her, knocking us both backwards a couple of feet. 'You're going the wrong
way', I hissed. 'Don't you talk to me like that or I'll give you a lesson you
won't forget', she replied. I started to say 'You could try' but that grin was
back on her face and I got the feeling that this had been her plan all along.
As we left the class we made arrangements to try conclusions, and she gave me
her address.

The following night I packed my shoulderbag ready to set off. I was uncertain
what to take as I was not in the habit of doing this sort of thing, but
finally settled on a pair of swimming trunks, sports shoes, a towel and a
comb. It was dusk when I walked uncertainly up Yvonne's front path, and she
opened the door before I got to it and ushered me through to a large bare room
at the back of the house. A little polite conversation established that she
was a sports mistress at a Catholic girls school, and then the main business
could be delayed no longer and she left me to change. I placed my clothes in
the shoulderbag, left it in the hallway, and donned the trunks. I shuddered
momentarily in a chilly draught and realised that the trunks were really too
small for me and almost amounted to a posing pouch. At that moment I heard
footfalls on the stairs and Yvonne reappeared. She had a sky blue leotard,
flesh coloured tights and a pair of ankle boots, somewhat better prepared than
me. She looked at me in undisguised amusement and then explained that the
walls of the room were to be the 'ropes' and represented sanctuary.

Now she assumed a fighting stance and raised her arms to offer a 'tie-up'. I
moved forward hesitantly, not sure how much of my strength to use on a woman.
My arms locked with hers and I was driven back powerfully into the wall.
'Break', I said and she released the hold and returned to the middle of the
room before offering the tie-up again. I raised my own arms and returned in a
far more determined mood, but this time she ducked underneath, locked her arms
around my waist and started crushing my lower ribs and back in a bear-hug.
'Submit?', she whispered, her head on my shoulder. I knew I COULDN'T give in
to a woman, at least not this quickly, but fortunately her breasts prevented
her from getting close enough to make the hold unescapable and I was able to
get my hand under her chin and force her backwards. I grabbed her wrist and
twisted it around twice to apply a straight arm-lock that elicited a gasp of
pain. She rolled forward to release the pressure but I followed her to the
carpet and applied an arm-bar. I controlled her as she kicked and struggled,
and was about to ask if she wanted to quit when her legs wrapped round my
face, pulling me backwards into a head lock and placing her in control again.
I straightened my head and extracted it, ignoring the friction of her tights
against my ears, and she rolled away. We stood and circled each other again.

I attempted to move behind her to apply a full nelson, but she moved faster
and my head was forced forward as I found myself in the hold instead. She
pulled me to the floor and wrapped her legs around my waist to apply a body
scissors. Her body arched backwards as she threw herself into the hold and a
whitehot pain rended my spine. To my surprise she released the hold before
throwing herself across my body and starting to count. I got my feet planted
and threw her off before she got to 'three'. This was a pretty loose cover
attempt though, and the thought occurred to me that not only was this woman
confident of victory but she wanted to punish me first.

As we stood up, I noticed that her shoulder straps were slipping and gestured
that I would allow her a break to adjust herself. She nodded and straightened
her cleavage before indicating she was ready to continue. We faced off again
but this time I was able to grab her arm and apply a wrist lever against the
joint. As Yvonne went on tiptoe to reduce the pressure I shifted my weight and
twisted her arm double behind her back into the chicken wing position. I
pulled her head forward and attempted to bring my left hand under her throat
and link with my right hand in order to lever a certain submission out of her
bent left arm, but this lady knew her wrestling and held my left wrist with
her right hand. After a minute of struggling, I accepted that I couldn't
complete the hold and switched instead to a side head lock, pulling her head
back to force her into a semi-squat position. She placed her left hand firmly
in my back, pulled her head out, and then lifted me from the side and
knee-dropped me onto my already-weakened back. She grabbed my heels, forced my
legs apart, and raised her left boot menacingly over my confined manhood. I
was left for a second to contemplate the folly of agreeing a no-holds-barred
match with a female before she drove her heel into my lower abdomen instead.

I rolled over with a groan and started to crawl towards 'sanctuary', but
Yvonne was upon me and dragging me back into the middle of the room. She held
my knees on either side of her waist and started to turn me for a boston crab.
I clung on to her legs desperately, knowing that if she turned me the match
would be over, and then renewed pain from my back alerted me that she was
stamping on me to 'assist' me into the submission position. In desperation I
surprised her by voluntarily turning into the hold and then ramming my elbow
back into the crook of the knee of her standing leg with all my remaining
strength. She shot forward, landing chest down on the carpet, and a muffled
'oof' reminded me that I had heard this was a painful experience for a woman.
I quickly applied a figure four leg lock, attempting to maintain the hold by
trapping her boot in my crutch as I had seen in LPWA matches. Some discomfort
reminded me that certain moves are best left to lady wrestlers, but I reached
forward to pull Yvonne's head back in a double hand chin lock. I was rewarded
with a muffled 'No no no' from my opponent, but she brought her own hands up
to release the chin lock and then dug her hands into the carpet to force us
within touching distance of the wall, as this time she went for sanctuary.

She rose slowly to her feet and we faced each other, breathing hard. I lunged
forward for the tie-up but she ducked underneath and with my stiffening back I
was unable to follow her. Her shoulder rammed into my stomach and then she
grabbed my legs and tipped me backwards. She placed her feet inside mine and
drove my legs apart. As I lay back on the floor to ease the pressure on my hip
joints she moved towards a full splits herself to maximise the advantage she
had in this position from her female skeletal articulation. The smile was back
on her lips as she held me helplessly in this position for almost a minute.
She then hoisted my ankles onto her shoulders and started pushing forwards to
fold my body, pinning my wrists with her arms.

I had one last card left to play. I looked over her shoulder to the hallway
door, feigned a look of astonishment, and bleated 'Officer, this isn't what it
seems'. Yvonne released the pressure and turned towards the door. In that
moment I threw my left hand round her waist and the right through her crutch
and rolled her backwards over my body into a small package. I placed my full
weight on her legs, forced her face into the carpet with a spread right hand,
and had the bronco ride of my life as she struggled throughout the three
count. I held her another five seconds for good measure and then she went limp
and I released her and rolled away to catch my breath.

After I recovered my composure I remembered Yvonne and turned round to see how
she was. I noticed she wasn't lieing there any more and then my head was
whipped round by a stinging slap. 'You ..... CHEAT!', she spat, her face livid
with rage. I didn't return the slap, figuring maybe I deserved it, but instead
flashed what I imagined to be a winning smile and said, 'Rule number one of
the ring, kid, defend yourself at all times'. This didn't seem to help, and a
sullen silence ensued as I gathered my stuff together, Yvonne glaring stonily
at the opposite wall.

As I went to the door she swallowed hard and then I heard her footsteps behind
me. She took my right hand, shook it, and then holding it between both of hers
she looked me in the eye and said in a soft tone I hadn't heard before 'You
WILL give me another chance, won't you?'. Now I may be a fool to myself but no
gentleman will deny a lady a re-match, and so we agreed that I would return
the following week. As I escaped through her front door and strode into the
cool night, I knew I had a lot of work to do in the coming seven days if I
hoped to survive Yvonne's revenge.