Tales From The Couch  pt 4 




Dr. Oldman checked his watch for the third time in five minutes. if she was
coming, they would be here any minute now. it had been two weeks since their
last session. she had refused to leave her cell last week at the last minute.
he wondered if he had pushed her too far, if he had ruined any chance that she
would open up to him. he told himself he was right, that he had to take a
stand last week. he had let her walk all over him in the first two sessions,
and he knew he couldn't help her unless he got her respect. the only thing is,
he knew he was playing with dynamite but he didn't know how long he could keep
it up without being blasted.

He heard an iron door clang shut and held his breath. a few seconds later the
tough lead guard Mabel brought Jennifer Ashley into his office and sat her
down on the couch. she gave the doctor an inquiring look. "am i gonna have to
stay and play referee?" he gave her a half smile and ushered her to the door.
"we're going to get along just fine." mabel did not sound convinced at all.
"we'll be right outside just in case."

Once the door closed he sat down on the edge of his desk, only a few feet from
her. "how have you been?" she just fixed him with an even stare, so he
continued, "look, i didn't mean to hurt you." she interrupted, "well you did
hurt me, doc, and i'm not used to people hurting me and getting away with it.
i've gotten to like you a little bit, doc, and when i leave here today i want
to remember you as being alive. can you help me with that?" he saw in her eyes
that there was no deception in her. she was fighting a battle with herself
over him. his voice was clear but a bit shaky as he told her, "i hope you know
my only motive was to help you, and if i'm going to help you we need to talk
about it all, the pleasant and the unpleasant. i pushed you, and maybe that
was wrong."

he got up and went back to his seat. she sat quietly looking out of the window
at the sky for about a minute. then she said, "fair enough. i decided to tell
you about my father anyway. like you say, maybe it'll help." "was he the first
person you killed?" she nodded and gave a little laugh. "it was only fair. he
paid for all of those dance and gymnastics lessons that made my legs so
strong. when i was little i would always run to him and jump up in his arms.
he wouild carry me around with my legs wrapped around him. i remember one time
when i was about fourteen he came home from work and said he had a big
surprise. i jumped up in his arms and asked him what it was. he said we were
all going to the circus. i was hugging and kissing him when i saw his face was
turning red and he said, "let go. stop squeezing." i let go right away and he
put me down and started rubbing his sore ribs. i was crying and saying, "i'm
sorry, daddy." he said it was ok but he never did pick me up like that again."

She had stopped talking and made eye contact with him. he gave her an
encouraging smile but said nothing. he didn't want to prompt her, just let her
tell it at her own pace. "we had such a good time at that circus, all three of
us. it was one of the last times we were happy. after momma died daddy turned
to drinking pretty heavy. as far as i was concerned he was either paying no
attention to me or paying too much attention. i really didn't get it for a
long time, doc. i mean, why my daddy was looking at me funny like that. you
wouldn't have even recognized me back then, doc. i was a really naive,
innocent kid. When i had just turned seventeen i was supposed to go out to a
nightclub with a bunch of girls from school. i had my hair and nails all done
and got a new miniskirt and real dark stockings. just before my friends were
going to pick me up daddy came home all drunk and started carrying on that i
looked like a slut and i couldn't go out. when i told hm he was drunk he
grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the couch with him. he pushed me over his
knee and made an attempt to spank me. i don't know why i didn't fight back
then. he was so drunk and uncoordinated that i hardly felt it, but i was
crying anyway. i just couldn't believe he was treating me like that. then he
sent me to my room. a few minutes later i heard the doorbell and then my dad
yelling at my friends that i couldn't go out with them. i felt sick. school
had been the only refuge i had from my lousy home life, and now all of my
friends knew that my dad was a drunk.

I put my pajamas on and went to bed but it was hard to get to sleep. i guess i
missed my momma more that night than anytime since she died. it must have been
about an hour after i went to bed when i heard my door open and my daddy came
staggering in, crying, with a open bottle of liquor still in his hand. he half
sat, half fell onto the bed and started sobbing, "i'm sorry,Jenny. i'm sorry i
hit you. i'm sorry." i tried to sit up but he started hugging and kissing me
and begging me to forgive him.

At first i felt real sympathy and said, "it's all right, daddy," but then he
moved his kisses from my cheeks to my lips and hugged me tighter. "i love you,
Jenny. you're so wonderful. i love you." he kept hugging and kissing and tried
to get on top of me but i squirmed loose. i yelled, "daddy, you're drunk," and
i slapped him right across the face. i got off the opposite sde of the bed and
went around it, heading for the door. i was going to lock myself in the bath
room, but he got up in time to block me. "now wait one minute, young lady.
you're getting a little too big for your britches. i think you need another
spanking. he grabbed my wrists and tried to force me onto the bed. i tried to
fight but he was really twisting and hurting my arms and i was crying for him
to stop. i guess i was still thinking clearly, because i thought back to when
i had hurt him with my legs. i figured that might be my only chance to stop
him.

Since we were too close for me to jump up on him and he was trying to push me
on to the bed i changed tactics. i moved quickly backwards onto the bed and
swung my legs up and around him as he followed. i locked my ankles behind him
and squeezed hard. the first sudden pressure from my legs knocked all of the
forward momentum out of him. he didn't even make it completely onto the bed.
his knees were on the floor and only his upper body was at mattress level. he
still had hold of my right wrist and he pulled my hand to his mouth and
started kissing it, i squeezed really hard and he let my hand go and tried to
push my legs off of him. he yelled out, "Jenny, stop this. you're hurting your
daddy." i remember i was crying when i said, "daddy, you shouldn''t be doing
this."

Then i saw this wild look in his eyes and he started getting up, using all of
his remaining strength. my legs were being lifted with him and i knew that, if
he succeeded in standing all of the way up, i would be hanging almost upside
down. i would lose my grip and i didn't know what he would do to me then so i
decided to stop him. i put every ounce of strength intio tightening the grip
of my legs. his eyes were really bulging out and he looked like he was going
to explode from the pressure.he stopped trying to stand and started pawing at
my legs again as he slowly sank back to his knees. i relaxed my grip a bit at
which time he gasped, "i'm going to throw up." from the gurgling noises he was
making i knew it was true so i released my grip, brought my knees back almost
to my chin, put my feet dead ccnter in his chest, and straightened my legs
out. he was sent flying backwards and wound up on the floor in my doorway.

i crouched on my bed like a cat, not knowing what he was going to do next. for
a few seconds he lay there gurgling but then he dragged himself to the
bathroom and i heard him making all kinds of disgusting noises. my mind
searched for a course of action. i had no lock on my door. where would i go if
i left? finally i figured anything was better than trying to fight him off all
night. i took off my pajamas and was about to put on my street clothes when i
heard the toilet flush and the bathroom door open.

i saw his shadow coming toward my room and--" there was a knock on the door
and Mabel came in. "time's up, doc." she looked at Jennifer. "everybody
friends again?" Jennifer said, "i 'm never gonna be your friend." Mabel gave
her the standard, "shut the f**k up! let's go." Dr. Oldman said to Jennifer,
"thanks, we'll pick it up next time." she nodded. "see you next week, doc."
END OF PART 4